Countdown to Cougar Con

Posted by: Libby Zay in General on Aug 25, 2009 Print PDF

Libby Zay

cougarconCougars and the young cubs who love them have just a few days to get glammed up for the first ever National Single Cougars Convention this Friday.

Set at a hotel in Palo Alto, the coug-a-thon is a classy, coat and tie affair.  The shebang will kick-off with a keynote address by Kama Sutra specialist, author, and internet radio host Francesca Gentille and her partner, who is 14 years her younger.  Next comes the grand ''cougar ball,'' where I imagine mature, sexy ladies prowl around to find a young pup to make them purr (the hotel even has a special room rate for those who are ready to pounce).  The night ends with a pageant, where the high coug-ress will be crowned.  ''Miss Cougar America'' will be the guest of honor on an upcoming Cougar Cruise that sets sail in December. My guess is that shuffleboard won't be the only thing to-do on that loveboat!

I'm not sure what the cougar cut-off age is, but if I'm not paired up by Cougar Con 16-or-so I might be in.  This lady is all for older women feeling confident, being desirable, and getting sexy... but why is it that women who chase younger men are suddenly made out to have sharp claws and fangs? It's okay for a ''manther'' (translation: creepy old dude) to chase a young piece of meat, but there is a double standard for women who do the same.  Not cool, society.  Not cool.

Photo courtesy of Cougar Beauty Secrets

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written by leah, August 27, 2009
As soon as people start putting on labels like Cougar or Manther, it some how sounds predatory and invalidating.
Why do people need to be labeled? An age old question and it's still not getting us anywhere.
The worst one I heard recently was from a sound engineer for Bon Jovi who said when the band was backstage they would refer to their older female fans as "Leather Bags"
I will never support Bon Jovi again. Not that I did before.
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written by John Prather, August 27, 2009
Wait- why are "manthers" creepy if cougars are not? It seems that in bashing double standards you might have created your own! Why are younger women "pieces of meat"? I think alot of this had to do with the age, like its creepy if a 30 year old is chasing a 16 year old, regardless of who is what gender, but the same age span isn't creepy if say its a 44 year old chasing a 30 year old. I think we need to define our parameters a little bit before we bash people. Oh, and right on to the cougar ball!
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written by Patricia, August 27, 2009
I have recently been teased about being a cougar...
my husband is indeed almost 10 years younger than I
but I was hardly comparable to anything predatory!

"Leather Bags" huh? and I have always loved Bon Jovi, but have they not realized they are getting
older too?
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written by Jenna, August 27, 2009
I think the double standard lies with the men. As you yourself said "creepy old dude" so he is now old AND creepy for liking younger women. Women are given this new sense of power and control as well as looking real sexy all be it older. I think anyone can meet and seek out any age as long as they are adults. If this is a new way to get people to meet each other that have similar interests I don't see where the problem lies. Y'all should calm down and let people be people.
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written by Bjorn, August 27, 2009
I think the problem with cougars is the aggressive imagery used to portray a woman who is -- can it be! -- still physically attractive.

http://www.chicktellectual.com/content/cougar-ific
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written by Marcia, August 27, 2009
When I had my first involvement with a younger man in the mid-'90s, there was so much secrecy involved. Some of it had to do with his own issues, but we used to walk into restaurants, and people would literally stop eating with their forks half way to their mouths and stare. People would always ask him if I was his mom, especially girls his own age. His family did everything they could to make him feel ashamed for having any kind of feelings for me, and they treated me like garbage. Mind you, the difference was 20 years. As a mother of daughters, it is also difficult for them when you date someone who is closer to their age than yours, especially if they are in their pre-teen and teen years. To me, the best thing that has come out of the whole "cougar" thing is that younger guys who are attracted to older women aren't made to feel like they have something wrong with them to have those feelings. Last, I do NOT like the predatory aspect of the "cougar" moniker. I would say that in most older women/younger men there is more of a nurturing aspect to the relationship than a hunter/predatory aspect.
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written by carolita, August 28, 2009
plus, older women really need a lot of patience to go out with young men. They should be admired, not censored for it!
Me, my BF is 19 years older than me. But since I'm 44, nobody bats an eye. After all, when you're 44 you're old enough to choose whatever guy you want. I like my creepy old dude. And he likes his "older woman." Cuz that's what a 44 year old woman is, even to a creepy old dude, you know! Who cares about those silly preconception-filled people who need to get involved in that discourse in the first place! You go out with who you want to go out with, these days. Nobody's forcing anyone anymore.
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written by kate, August 28, 2009
There is a TON of sexism in the world. Personally I think this is an ageist issue rather than a sexist issue.
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written by maggie, August 28, 2009
i don't really think we should pick whether one issue is a certain "ist" over the other. sexism, ageism, racism, classism, ableism, etc. are so intertwined with each other! sexism/ageism is obvious in this example... but how come only rich, beautiful, white cougars are the ones we see in the media? these are the ONLY cougars that are socially acceptable.
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written by Judy Kaydon, December 12, 2009
are you forgetting that the black women helped the most in getting the Cougar trend started? Vivaca? Hello,she's black! Hallie Berry,also a black woman & a long list of others out there.Stop lying about cougars! Jealousy is ugly no matter what your reasons! Live life & get over it!

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