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It's Spring Break, Don't Get Yourself Raped!
Posted by: Jamie Doak
in Eat Me
on Mar 20, 2010 
(The Spring Break Porno Fantasy)
(My Spring Break Reality: oral surgery and thesis. Yesssss.)
It's Spring Break ladies and that means you're probably going to some beach somewhere, wearing slutty clothes, drinking way too much and getting yourselves raped. As of today, 10 rapes have been reported at Daytona Beach and the media is going into a frenzy about a Spring Break "Rape Epidemic" without seeming to realize that this isn't breaking news and this isn't an isolated Spring Break phenomenon. Every two minutes a woman in the United States is sexually assaulted and hundreds of thousands of women have been raped in the Congo wars in the last few years.
Perhaps even more frustrating than the media's selective interest in rape survivors ("Oh, you mean pretty white college girls in bikinis are being raped!? I want to go to there!"), is the language they are using to report the assaults. I challenge you to find a story about a Spring Break rape that doesn't include details of the alcohol intake of the rape survivor prior to her attack. Many articles even have accompanying pictures of bikini clad party girls. And while I'm not surprised at all by their behavior, I do think it is a breech of journalistic integrity.
By painting the rape survivor as a drunk party girl, you take responsibility off of the man who raped her. Women have the right to get wasted without being sexually assaulted. Women have the right to consent to some sexual acts without consenting to every sexual act imaginable (that's not even possible in the span of one hook up, okay?)
I realize all the tips people write about "How to Prevent Rape" come from a good place. But honestly, I LIKE wearing my hair in a ponytail and sometimes I NEED to go shopping at night by myself and sometimes I just WANT to get drunk and I should be able to do those things without fear. Clearly though, we live in an unsafe world and it's just smart to take precautions, be responsible and plan ahead. But instead of telling me how to keep myself from getting raped, why don't we tell rapists NOT TO RAPE WOMEN. Most rapists aren't some scary mentally deranged freak in the bushes; they are acquaintances, friends, boyfriends or dudes on Daytona Beach who heard that drunk rape isn't REAL rape. So let's start telling THEM not get drunk and rape women. mkthanx. Here are some tips from Colleen Jameson that SHOULD be circulating around instead:
Sexual Assault Prevention Tips Guaranteed to Work!
1. Don’t put drugs in people’s drinks in order to control their behavior.
2. When you see someone walking by themselves, leave them alone!
3. If you pull over to help someone with car problems, remember not to assault them!
4. NEVER open an unlocked door or window uninvited.
5. If you are in an elevator and someone else gets in, DON’T ASSAULT THEM!
6. Remember, people go to laundry to do their laundry, do not attempt to molest someone who is alone in a laundry room.
7. USE THE BUDDY SYSTEM! If you are not able to stop yourself from assaulting people, ask a friend to stay with you while you are in public.
8. Always be honest with people! Don’t pretend to be a caring friend in order to gain the trust of someone you want to assault. Consider telling them you plan to assault them. If you don’t communicate your intentions, the other person may take that as a sign that you do not plan to rape them.
9. Don’t forget: you can’t have sex with someone unless they are awake!
10. Carry a whistle! If you are worried you might assault someone “on accident” you can hand it to the person you are with, so they can blow it if you do.
And, ALWAYS REMEMBER: if you didn’t ask permission and then respect the answer the first time, you are committing a crime- no matter how “into it” others appear to be.
The opinions expressed on the BUST blog are those of the authors themselves and do not necessarily reflect the position of BUST Magazine or its staff.
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written by LateAlex, March 20, 2010
I totally agree and find those email forwards, while well-intentioned, completely misleading. The fact is that the majority of sexual assaults are by PEOPLE WE KNOW. Stranger rapes are rare and those "tips" almost totally focus on that. And more subtly, by giving the false expectation that if women "do certain things," they will not be raped, they imply that women who don't do these things are "not careful." Which is a bit too close to "asking for it." All of which goes to your point about how journalist discuss much the rape survivors drank or what they were wearing. No outfit or attitude should lead to rape. Period.
Thanks for a good article.
Thanks for a good article.
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written by Jill223, March 20, 2010
Well done! I'm so sick of these emails circulating that want us to live our lives in fear.
We didn't ask for it.
Nice.
We didn't ask for it.
Nice.
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written by shanae1, March 20, 2010
Excellent article!
I should be able to walk naked on the streets and be as drunk as ever without some man feeling like he has the authority to violate my body.
BTW most women are not raped at parties in the middle of the night.most rapes happen in broad daylight and are done by men who are trusted friends and family.
I should be able to walk naked on the streets and be as drunk as ever without some man feeling like he has the authority to violate my body.
BTW most women are not raped at parties in the middle of the night.most rapes happen in broad daylight and are done by men who are trusted friends and family.
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written by Annaaaaaaa, March 20, 2010
Abso-f*cking-lutely!!!!
I can't even count how many times I have tried to drill this exact same message into people.. but sadly, many just don't seem to get it.
As far as I'm concerned, feminism has NOT finished its job until the day I can pass out, drunk off my ass, stark naked in the middle of a frat house and not be raped.
Is it classy to pass out naked in a frat house? Nope.
But if I so choose to be unclassy, that should not take away from my right to have control over what happens to my body.
I can't even count how many times I have tried to drill this exact same message into people.. but sadly, many just don't seem to get it.
As far as I'm concerned, feminism has NOT finished its job until the day I can pass out, drunk off my ass, stark naked in the middle of a frat house and not be raped.
Is it classy to pass out naked in a frat house? Nope.
But if I so choose to be unclassy, that should not take away from my right to have control over what happens to my body.
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written by MzMelanie, March 20, 2010
I love this article too true, you hit the nail on the head. I think the same things sometimes.
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written by Jennifer Blevins, March 21, 2010
Oftentimes when I begin to bitch about some aspect of my life, I stop and remind myself that I live in a country where I can be a woman and hold down a job and support myself and not need a male escort to take me everywhere and I can be the boss of my own body and I can walk down the street without living in constant fear of being raped. I went to hear Eve Ensler (of "Vagina Monologue" fame) speak a couple of years ago here in NYC, and when asked how we can stop violence against women she said we must begin by raising the right kind of man. And I think the "right kind of man" would be down with your 10-point anti-rape checklist.
Awesome article. Loved it. You go, girl.
-jennifer
http://theblevinsblog.wordpress.com/
Awesome article. Loved it. You go, girl.
-jennifer
http://theblevinsblog.wordpress.com/
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written by censorama, March 21, 2010
They should hand out those tips during the first segregated health classes in middle school. You can never start too early... nip it in the bud!
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written by Guest, March 22, 2010
Yeah, I was still somewhat concerned about the risk of sexual assault on my spring break, and you know what I was doing? Volunteering, and wearing baggy paint-covered hand-me-down guys' clothes the entire time. I wasn't even trying to be sexy or intentionally going to a spring break party spot (I didn't know it was popular, just warm, and like the article said even if I'd went to party on a beach I shouldn't have needed to be worried), it was just that there were drunken male spring-breakers looking to "get laid" that made me feel unsafe.
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written by Charley Zimmerman, March 24, 2010
"By painting the rape survivor as a drunk party girl, you take responsibility off of the man who raped her."
you are fabulous, and so right.
you are fabulous, and so right.
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written by Mario, March 24, 2010
I like this article, how ever, I don't believe that this list would have much bearing on the assaults where alcohol is involved. (My thought) Some drunkin Frat Goof, sees a Girl, gets a thought in his head, and rapes or sexually assaults her. I do not think that most assaults are "planned" (#
This list would, however, should be given to people who are Convicted of sexual crimes. I was A victim of childhood rape, and this list would not have helped the Man that did this to me, Maybe #11 should be if you like to rape children, do not become a guidance counselor in an elementary school!
This list would, however, should be given to people who are Convicted of sexual crimes. I was A victim of childhood rape, and this list would not have helped the Man that did this to me, Maybe #11 should be if you like to rape children, do not become a guidance counselor in an elementary school!
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written by NLM, March 25, 2010
Are BUST-reading females really the type to do the spring break beach thing? I'd imagine they're a little more enlightened than the average young woman. "Spring Break," as depicted in the photo above, on MTV, and elsewhere -- well, it just looks icky and wack. No thanks!
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written by Laura T., March 25, 2010
I'm with NLM. Why would anyone want to get naked and drunk in a frat house regardless? Geez.
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written by pmg, March 25, 2010
You wrote: "Women have the right to get wasted without being sexually assaulted."
REALLY? WHY???
Why do we have the RIGHT to get wasted (thereby compromising our judgement and our ability to determine what is a safe situation) without harm coming to us?
Of course I don't mean to say that men are entitled to rape us if we're drunk. But I really take offense at your language: we are not ENTITLED to be indescriminate about our own safety and boundaries.
REALLY? WHY???
Why do we have the RIGHT to get wasted (thereby compromising our judgement and our ability to determine what is a safe situation) without harm coming to us?
Of course I don't mean to say that men are entitled to rape us if we're drunk. But I really take offense at your language: we are not ENTITLED to be indescriminate about our own safety and boundaries.
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written by Jess123, March 25, 2010
Everyone has the right to be free of violence,man or woman. That right should not logically be practiced willy nilly unless you are in a place where people are respecting your right to privacy and bodily integrity. But you always have your rights. That's why they're called rights. They're inborn.
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written by chloebug, March 25, 2010
um, yes, unless we are causing harm to other beings we are entitled to do whatever the hell we want with ourselves. getting drunk, naked and passed out at a frat is an extreme example, but in terms of being "indiscriminate about our own safety and boundaries," that could mean ANYTHING (and, back in college when i was a nightmare hippy girl, i regularly got drunk and naked at public gatherings. and no one ever raped me - gosh, what a lucky lady i am!). going for an evening stroll or turning your back on your drink at the bar for 5 minutes is considered risky business if you're a woman. which is ridiculous. and if you're drunk and passed out naked? from an ethical perspective you should be given MORE respect and consideration because your autonomy is diminished. i know no one here is saying that women deserve to be raped for being drunk, but honestly, the fact that there are still people leaving comments on one of those linked articles along the lines of "well, what do you expect if they're drunk sluts?" means that we still have a long way to go.
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written by Laura T., March 26, 2010
I've said it before and I will gladly say it one thousand times. I agree that no one has the right to cause physical harm to anyone else. Period.
However, I do not agree with even an inking of an idea that telling people to be safe is the same as making them at fault if anything bad happens. Yes, we all have the right to not have any physical harm come to us at the hands of another person. But that sure as shit doesn't mean we shouldn't take care of ourselves as much as possible in order to at least protect ourselves on some level. That's called having self worth and value for your own life. If you don't have that, then what's the point?
However, I do not agree with even an inking of an idea that telling people to be safe is the same as making them at fault if anything bad happens. Yes, we all have the right to not have any physical harm come to us at the hands of another person. But that sure as shit doesn't mean we shouldn't take care of ourselves as much as possible in order to at least protect ourselves on some level. That's called having self worth and value for your own life. If you don't have that, then what's the point?
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written by Taryn_Pi, March 26, 2010
I also used to spend my teens years drunk as a skunk at parties and never got raped, but then most of my friends were boys. I dread to think what would have happened if they weren't.
I'm equally tired of women being told to 'be safe' and 'protect themselves'. Young boys are also at great risk of being seriously physically assaulted but are they made to live in fear every time they leave the house? Of course not. Everyone assumes they can protect themselves.
I love your 10 points, thank you. Very sensible and much better than the advice usually dished out.
I'm equally tired of women being told to 'be safe' and 'protect themselves'. Young boys are also at great risk of being seriously physically assaulted but are they made to live in fear every time they leave the house? Of course not. Everyone assumes they can protect themselves.
I love your 10 points, thank you. Very sensible and much better than the advice usually dished out.
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written by Laura T., March 27, 2010
Well, if you all want to live in a fantasy world about guys shaping up so that we don't have to think about protecting ourselves, then be my guest. But let's just for an instant assume that somehow the overall media attitude changes and the attitude that men have towards women changes. There are still going to be scumbags in this world that we have to protect ourselves from. The tired notion that exercising street smarts is the same as living in fear - really? Really. Are you kidding me? Yes - men need to change their attitudes. But until they do, what do you propose to do? Be safe, that's what you do. Shit, any self respecting old school New Yorker can tell you that. Street smarts are the way to go.
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written by Lughna, March 30, 2010
There is and I fear will remain, thanks to the neocons (yes, I mean you Sarah Palin)a huge difference between women's rights as they should be and the reality thereof. It's smart to be safe. It sucks that we have to be. We still have a way to go. I loved this article and sent it to every woman I know! Place the blame where it belongs, but always take care of yourself.
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written by Kate G, April 04, 2010
It's Spring Break ladies and that means you're probably going to some beach somewhere, wearing slutty clothes, drinking way too much and getting yourselves raped.
In this quote it sounds as if you are blaming the women for getting raped because of their slutty clothes and alcohol intake. In no way whatsoever is the victim ever at fault.
However the rest of this post is great just a little hypocritical with the statement.
In this quote it sounds as if you are blaming the women for getting raped because of their slutty clothes and alcohol intake. In no way whatsoever is the victim ever at fault.
However the rest of this post is great just a little hypocritical with the statement.
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written by alex F., April 05, 2010
Hahaha! These are excellent. As a male, I follow these rules very, very strictly. Well done.
@Laura T. She actually writes, in this article, that she should be careful. What her problem is the general attitude of the media towards rape and rape victims. It's still the attitude that it's women's responsibility to not be raped, when, really, it should be men's. Doesn't mean women shouldn't take care of themselves.
@ Kate G. I think she was being facetious.
@Laura T. She actually writes, in this article, that she should be careful. What her problem is the general attitude of the media towards rape and rape victims. It's still the attitude that it's women's responsibility to not be raped, when, really, it should be men's. Doesn't mean women shouldn't take care of themselves.
@ Kate G. I think she was being facetious.
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written by Brandy Gager, April 07, 2010
Absolutely love this article! It's odd how every time you hear about a rape the woman seems to be at fault for not protecting herself and being more careful. Maybe she shouldn't have been drunk and drssed in so little clothing? Riight..So they're saying that men cannot be held responsible for their actions? Bullshit. That's very offensive to men, sending the message that they are just horny stupid animals.
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written by Megan Coker, April 21, 2010
I love this...Maybe now I won't turn into a statistic!
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written by Martin Havel, May 18, 2010
remember: men rape women, women rape men, women rape women, and men rape men. let us not pretend that rape is a men vs women phenomenon.
at smith college, the higest incidence of rape (despite the drunk fratboys from UMass down the street) is women raping other women.
at smith college, the higest incidence of rape (despite the drunk fratboys from UMass down the street) is women raping other women.
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written by Imez, May 18, 2010
I respect what the author is saying, but it seems such a useless (and hardly fresh) sentiment. Tell rapists not to rape? Thats not going to work. Rapists like to do bad things, they like to hurt, and they don't care if society is against it. Hints on how to not "get yourself raped," are more useful than shaking a finger at rapists. Prevention is the best defense. Telling rapists not to rape anymore is spunky and cute, but incredibly ineffectual. You must accept that if you are drunk in public without a support system, or alone at night in a bad neighborhood, you might be more likely to become a victim. The fact that it isn't fair doesn't make it any less true.
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written by Jamie S, June 03, 2010
@ martin, yes, of course anyone can rape another person regardless of their sex, and it is important to note that.
but let's be real here - statistically, the vast majority of rapes are performed by men and against women.
but let's be real here - statistically, the vast majority of rapes are performed by men and against women.
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written by Nike Air Max 90, September 24, 2010
e shouldn't have been drunk and drssed in so little clothing? Riight..So they're saying that men cannot be held responsible for their actions? Bullshit. That's very offensive to men, sending the message that they are just horny stupid animals.
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written by Shure Microphones, September 24, 2010
ists not to rape anymore is spunky and cute, but incredibly ineffectual. You must accept that if you are drunk in public without a support system, or alone at night in a bad neighborhood, you might be more likely to become a victim. The fact that it isn't fair doesn't make
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written by Nokia Vertu, September 24, 2010
how every time you hear about a rape the woman seems to be at fault for not protecting herself and being more careful. Maybe she shouldn't have been drunk and drssed in so little clothing? Riight..So they're saying that men cannot be held responsible for their actions? Bullshit. That's very offensive to m
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written by ED Hardy Clothing, September 24, 2010
re blaming the women for getting raped because of their slutty clothes and alcohol intake. In no way whatsoever is the victim ever at fault.
However the rest of this post is great just a little hypocritical with the statement.
However the rest of this post is great just a little hypocritical with the statement.
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written by lv bag, September 26, 2010
Well done! I'm so sick of these emails circulating that want us to live our lives in fear.
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written by Non-rapist Male, October 18, 2010
Society tells people that it is wrong to rape people. That's why rapists, if convicted, go to jail.
If a woman is in a compromising position and is a victim than her being "at fault" for poor decision making does NOT excuse the rapist (he goes to jail), but she still has to live with the consequences of being a victim.
So, other than making it a severe penalty felony, how would you like society to tell people not to rape?
Guess what, if I get mugged and the police catch the mugger, he goes to jail. That doesn't mean that I don't take precautions.
If a woman is in a compromising position and is a victim than her being "at fault" for poor decision making does NOT excuse the rapist (he goes to jail), but she still has to live with the consequences of being a victim.
So, other than making it a severe penalty felony, how would you like society to tell people not to rape?
Guess what, if I get mugged and the police catch the mugger, he goes to jail. That doesn't mean that I don't take precautions.
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written by pauldw, March 13, 2011
i'd like to know more about the specific cases, because sometimes things called rape are not rape.
I know it is unpopular to believe this, but I don't believe having sex with a drunk person is the same as rape (I don't do it anyways, though, just to be safe). My view is, if you are getting drunk, you are deliberately trying to impair your judgment. That's what drunkenness is. If you then make an impaired judgment, what is there to complain about? We tell drunk drivers that they are responsible for what they do, why would it be different if it's a woman having sex? And if it is consensual (though drunk), what is the issue? The problem appears to be that the woman feels like a "slut" the next day, which doesn't rank high on my list of things to be worried about.
I had the idea that if a woman remembers her own drunken sex, then there is no possible way she was drunk enough for that to be rape.
I know it is unpopular to believe this, but I don't believe having sex with a drunk person is the same as rape (I don't do it anyways, though, just to be safe). My view is, if you are getting drunk, you are deliberately trying to impair your judgment. That's what drunkenness is. If you then make an impaired judgment, what is there to complain about? We tell drunk drivers that they are responsible for what they do, why would it be different if it's a woman having sex? And if it is consensual (though drunk), what is the issue? The problem appears to be that the woman feels like a "slut" the next day, which doesn't rank high on my list of things to be worried about.
I had the idea that if a woman remembers her own drunken sex, then there is no possible way she was drunk enough for that to be rape.
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written by http://www.mbtusafootwear.com, March 16, 2011
I know it is unpopular to believe this, but I don't believe having sex with a drunk person is the same as rape (I don't do it anyways, though, just to be safe). My view is, if you are getting drunk, you are deliberately trying to impair your judgment. That's what drunkenness is. If you then make an impaired judgment, what is there to complain about? We tell drunk drivers that they are responsible for what they do, why would it be different if it's a woman having sex? And if it is consensual (though drunk), what is the issue? The problem appears to be that the woman feels like a "slut" the next day, which doesn't rank high on my list of things to be worried about.
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written by mbt footwear, March 16, 2011
I respect what the author is saying, but it seems such a useless (and hardly fresh) sentiment. Tell rapists not to rape? Thats not going to work. Rapists like to do bad things, they like to hurt, and they don't care if society is against it. Hints on how to not "get yourself raped," are more
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http://www.mbtusafootwear.com
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written by small business loans for women, March 28, 2011
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written by Pashupati, April 07, 2011
Hi,
I'm sorry but I think the "rapist are almost always a person we know" is wrong in some case.
It is mostly right when the person has a normal social scheme or whatever you call it, and has family coming and go to a school/to work.
If you don't but you go outside some times you are just as likely to get raped.
It just happens most people won't think you are likely to get raped, because they ask you normal questions, and then they want to force you to kiss them or touch whatever. (they don't just say this, they try to do this) Sometimes they ask you if you want money or, if they are particularly stupid, to give them money. You do that because you think they'll leave you alone, but don't accept the money because then you'd be a slut. And, no, it just won't work if you say no or insult them or say no repetitively: they won't understand.
Don't say it doesn't happens as much. It depends on your social circle or lack of thereof.
Don't say it just happened one time to someone, it happens all the time.
I'm sorry but I think the "rapist are almost always a person we know" is wrong in some case.
It is mostly right when the person has a normal social scheme or whatever you call it, and has family coming and go to a school/to work.
If you don't but you go outside some times you are just as likely to get raped.
It just happens most people won't think you are likely to get raped, because they ask you normal questions, and then they want to force you to kiss them or touch whatever. (they don't just say this, they try to do this) Sometimes they ask you if you want money or, if they are particularly stupid, to give them money. You do that because you think they'll leave you alone, but don't accept the money because then you'd be a slut. And, no, it just won't work if you say no or insult them or say no repetitively: they won't understand.
Don't say it doesn't happens as much. It depends on your social circle or lack of thereof.
Don't say it just happened one time to someone, it happens all the time.
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written by jabberwaky, May 04, 2011
In a perfect world men would not think so much with their little head. unfortunately, it is not perfect, so not only do they need to have self control, but so do woman. For all of the things that this poor rape victim and all the rape victims must feel I apologize, however, if most woman are being raped in broad daylight by a friend or someone they know, then that pretty much rules out the spring break routine doesn't it. It seems clear to me that often times communication is the key. If a man gets mixed signals, well, lets admit it, most of the time he will err on the side of his penis. Is it his fault he got mixed signals? No. It is his fault if he acts on them without discretion, respect and couth. Is it the woman's fault for sending mixed signals, not necessarily, but, to be overly flirtatious can bring an already hard up guy that much closer to doing something stupid. So who's fault is rape? It doesn't matter. What matters is being a good and wholesome person through and through. That means being absolutely sure that we are not putting stumbling stones in our bretheren's pathways and making it that much easier. Rape is a terrible thing that no one should have to suffer. I believe it is a two-way street though. The best defense is to not be there. Don't place yourself in bad or unsafe situations. In the world we live in, this is plainly put, intelligent. Men are idiots, especially when it comes to women. Please be smarter than their penises, please!
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