Here’s a little-known fact about female anatomy: the clit we know and love is just the tip of the iceberg. There are bundles of nerve endings below the surface of your hoo-ha. Most vibrators use a powerful motor to vibrate a small, clit-size weight very quickly—hence the monotone buzz—but the X1 Orgasmatron (from geek-getdown purveyor Doctor Xtreme) uses a slightly more powerful motor to vibrate a weight equal in mass to your entire clit-nerve complex. This means, in theory, that each pulse shakes not only your external junk, but the entire situation below the surface.
I was intrigued, so I took the Orgasmatron for a spin. You know, for science.
The first thing you need to know about the Orgasmatron is that it’s anything but subtle. It is a big, loud ol’ motherfucker. (In fact, I think I strained a shoulder hauling this one home from the BUST office.) In addition to the generously sized dildo and the hefty vibrating ball, it’s powered by a laptop-sized AC adapter and a remote control. The Orgasmatron revs up with a piercing mechanical whine, which gives way to a stuttering, antique-sewing-machine rattle. Unless you have a roommate or partner who can ignore (or enjoy) the Orgasmatron’s rhythmic stylings from several rooms away, you should probably limit its use to empty-house time.
My conclusion: hmmm. I just wasn’t vibin’ on it as an internal toy: there’s no warm-up speed, and since I’ve been trying to avoid condoms unless absolutely necessary, I found the dildo’s surface pretty uncomfortable. That said, the ball (sans dildo) worked quite nicely as an external vibe, and minus the distracting cord situation, I think it’d be a user-friendly addition to partnered play.
But, if internal stimulation is your thing, the Orgasmatron is a worthwhile investment. Yes, $130 is pricey for a toy, but it’s made of good-for-you material and comes with a lifetime replacement guarantee. (Plus, crafty gals can create their own attachments with two-part industrial silicone!)
Despite the Orgasmatron’s versatility, I still prefer grab-and-go vibes that resemble Brancusi sculptures. Setting up the cord-bound Orgasmatron felt like setting up the vacuum: unsexy, but heck, it gets the job done.
By Ash Lynn
All images via doctorxtreme.com
The opinions expressed on the BUST blog are those of the authors themselves and do not necessarily reflect the position of BUST Magazine or its staff.
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