*Yes, I totally missed 'BoobQuake'---So, today when I read the headline in the Daily News, it made me shout out loud, "HOLY BANANA TITS!- YOU GOTTAAA BE F^CK*ING KIDDING ME! WWWWWWWWWWWWhatttT? FOR THE LOVE OF ALL CHRIST/GOD/HELL-NO FC^KING WAY THIS STILL HAPPENS, AND LEADERS CAN STILL SAY AND ENFORCE THIS SHIT--- ANYWHERE!" 

Tehran police chief: Iran to crack down on suntanned women
From 4.27.10 article on NYDailyNews.com:
...Women in Iran better stock up on SPF 100. A suntan might land them in jail.
Tehran's police chief, Brig Hossien Sajedinia, according to London's Telegraph newspaper, has announced a national crackdown on "social misbehavior" that violates Islamic laws, including a sun-kissed glow.

"The public expects us to act firmly and swiftly if we see any social misbehavior by women, and men, who defy our Islamic values," he said, the Telegraph reported. "In some areas of north Tehran we can see many suntanned women and young girls who look like walking mannequins."
"We are not going to tolerate this situation and will first warn those found in this manner and then arrest and imprison them."

The threat to toss women who spend too much time in the sun in jail is the latest push of a recently launched scaremongering campaign to rid the streets of Tehran of vice, the Telegraph reported. National law says women must wear headscarves and shape shrouding cloaks, but many women in Tehran are fashionistas and barely follow the law.

In explaining why suntanned, stylish women were so bad for his nation,
Ayatollah Kazim Sadighi, a leading cleric, said ladies who dressed inappropriately disturbed young men, and the resulting excitement caused earthquakes.

Ayatollah Aziz Khoshvaqt, another preacher, also says Iran will reap catastrophe if the laws are flouted, the Telegraph reported.

"Go on the streets and repent for your sins," he told worshipers in northern Tehran, according to the Telegraph. "A holy torment is upon us. Leave town."
_______________
!Vitamin D is important. For Life. And for the love of all that is holy in Tehran> Where's your head at? Where's your suntanned head at?
Jail time for a suntan?.. I don't even like suntans! >but that doesn't mean I'm gonna throw these people into a subterranean prison hole and make them rub the lotion on it's skin agan or it gets the hose agan. I know pasty white is pretty and all, but this is ridonckulatronics. You can put your penis in the hole of a powdered white Entenman's and everyone wins. Yay! for winning...Yay! for countries that like all colors of the tanned rainbow on accessible beautiful beaches. And, you know what? I'm standing next to you in a thong string bikini, right now ;)

And...wait...wait...wait a second. Tehran's leading cleric says> these sexy ladies are "disturbing young men, and the resulting excitement caused Earthquakes..."

*rockingbackandforth*rockingbackandforth*rockingbackandforthinfetalposition*>I gotta get down here now> and get very close to the earth...Is this cleric refering to earthquakes in pants. Cause certaintly, that is what he must mean. That is all I can possibly compute. Too much ejac all over the beach...? Is there an ejac prob. on the beach!? Are people slipping and falling everywhere? Is America's Funniest Home Videos relocating  it's main offices to catch all the pant quakes, slippery streets and beach hi-jinks (i just put my hand in what?! *frown* *laugh* O, man you got me! I've just been 'EJAC'KD!) 

I'm gonna "social misbehavior" all over my face with skin cancer this summer> police chief, Brig Hossien Sajedinia, just because I can. Not cause I want to/get it (again)> but I'm willing to prove an oppressive point- with danger and life long irreversible damage. Sir, are you familiar with, 'Double Dare' on Nickelodeon in Tehran?  Well, let's just say> let's bring on the physical challenges, Mr. Sajedinia and your preacher friend man> cause I'm gonna reap catastrophe all over your balls.

You can find me in Virginia this summer, cause Virginia is for Lovers. And, Virginia let's their residents the sun touch me. And, Virginia doesn't have may have ejac all over the place. But that's all left over from Spring Break. It just blends in now, looks like salt water stains and suntan lotion pearls covered in sand.
Tehran is for:______________________________(I'll let you fill in the blank)
---------------------
:::Double Dare is brought to you in part by Coppertone and "Quake-No-More": Earthquake  and Ejac removal service.


Photo Courtesy:
first sun & second sun

Tagged in: no sun in tehran   

The opinions expressed on the BUST blog are those of the authors themselves and do not necessarily reflect the position of BUST Magazine or its staff.




blog comments powered by Disqus
Facebook_websiteTwitter_websitePinterest_websiteRSS_websiteTumblr_websiteIG_website

Upcoming Events

Larry Krone's LOOK BOOK / Photos by Todd Oldham (NYC)
September 02, 2014 (5:30 pm - 6:30 pm)
Perfect Pussy @ Mahall's 20 Lanes
September 05, 2014 (10:00 pm - 11:00 pm)
Perfect Pussy @ Majestic Theater
September 06, 2014 (9:00 pm - 10:00 pm)
Pü Fest (w/ Perfect Pussy)
September 07, 2014 (8:00 am - 9:00 am)
View Full Calendar

Shop The BUSTShop