Oh, Hi Mark.

By: Calliein Boob Tube

I have been spreading my love of The Room ever since Colleen Kane introduced it to me about 3 years ago. It is one of my favorite movies of all time. It is possibly the worst movie of all time. I get really excited when it gets mentioned in anything. I almost blasted a shit when Debbie told me that they had a story on the cult phenomenon in Entertainment Weekly a couple weeks ago. Apparently David Cross and Paul Rudd are both big Tommy Wiseau fans too. If you live in LA you can catch one of the midnight screenings at Laemmle's Sunset 5, where fans get all Rocky Horror over this cult hit.
My first viewing was at Colleen's house and when I walked in everyone was sitting around with ties on their heads and drinking vodka mixed with whiskey (surprisingly drinkable). I knew then this was a movie that would capture my heart forever. I can't even look at the cover without laughing my ass off, that face! How is it possible to have such a muscular looking face? He totally has abs for cheeks. The clip above is my favorite scene from the film, obviously for several reasons but mainly the 'I did noooooot, oh hi Mark.' And then the fact that Mark asks if he hit her. Classic Room. Read more this way for a couple fun facts about the movie BUT only if you have room in your life for a new obsession. After all it has been hailed as the Citizen Kane of bad movies.

The first thing you should do to prepare yourself to see the film is read the IMDB comments, specifically Houndog5 and Backyardjimmy. Backyardjimmy really describes the characters and scenes well and I can totally relate when he says that sometimes he can't tell where The Room ends and he begins. So painfully, so true. Next, I suggest watching the special features first (both the behind the scenes footage and the interview) to really get a sense of what went into creating The Room and hear Tommy try to explain some of the retardation. The movie is sort of like the 'Where is Waldo' of film inconsistencies, so the interview will help you get an idea of what you're looking for. The behind the scenes is amazing. First off, Tommy wears one of those ponytail holders we wore as kids with the two balls on them. Secondly, you see the pure camera insanity, Tommy filmed the entire thing in both 33 mm and HD video, and he did this by taping the cameras together and hoisting them on a crane.

Now once you've done a little background, its time to let your jaw to drop and watch the hottest mess ever made. Here are some fun facts to keep in mind when you watch:

1. Tommy spent 6 million on the movie but it looks closer to $600. Aside from taping in both film and digital he ran a billboard for the movie in LA from its release until this year. He also used a green screen for shots that could have been done outside. But other then that I am not sure where all that money went. Oh, and he dosn't like to say where the money came from.

2. Tommy also doesn't like to say where he came from. He says he lived in France and New Orleans, I think he is from Estonia. It just seems right to me.

3. They reuse the same totally un-sexy sex scene twice. But its no flash back. The first time there are roses everywhere but you don't know where they came from. Later he buys roses and there they are in the repeat scene when they reuse it. Also, Lisa (his love interest) is wearing blue eye shadow when they bang but she isn't wearing it before. Also, he appears to be sticking his fuck stick closer to her belly button then her 'gina.

4. In the movie his character's name is Johnny but in one very climatic scene at the end someone calls him Tommy. I love that spent 6 milli but couldn't redo that scene.

5. Lisa's mom says she has breast cancer, Lisa tells her not to worry about it. And they sure don't because its never mentioned again.

6. Tommy gets loose on whiskey mixed with vodka and loves it.

7. Lisa orders the craziest pizza you will ever imagine. Its just retarded.

8. Lisa throws a birthday party for Tommy/Johnny and gets everyone, I mean everyone to go outside by yelling 'hey everyone, lets get some fresh air'. She does some schemin' in and cheatin' and then gets everyone to come back in by yelling 'hey everyone, lets go inside and eat some cake'. I do this often at parties when there is no cake for a personal chuckle.

10. When it is discovered that Denny owes money to a drug dealer Lisa's mom screams 'what kind of money?!' You know because drug dealers in San Francisco take various forms of money, rupees for example. Or maybe drug money is its own form of currency.

11. The drug dealers name is Chris-R, that's right Chris hyphen R.

12. The florist scene rules! The florist somehow doesn't recognize her 'favorite customer'; even though Tommy/Johnny is very distinctive, perhaps it's the fact he was wearing his sunglasses on his forehead, like literally over his eyebrows. Check it:

Apparently there is a scene where it looks like a bone is popping out of Lisa's neck for no reason at all. I have to get my copy back from my neighbor and try to scope this again. He's had it for a couple months but he has been spreading it around Brooklyn like bed bugs and I hate to be the one to stop the madness. When I do get it back there will be a screening. Let me know if your interested so I can have enough whiskey vodka and spoons on hand (people throw spoons at the screenings when the framed spoon picture comes on screen).

I am sure you can tell by the length of this how much I love this movie. I am telling you people watch 'The Room' its like Tommy says in the interview, 'its not 'a' room, its 'the' room.' It also doesn't really have anything to do with any room at all which is all part of the magic.

The first thing you should do to prepare yourself to see the film is read the IMDB comments, specifically Houndog5 and Backyardjimmy. Backyardjimmy really describes the characters and scenes well and I can totally relate when he says that sometimes he can't tell where The Room ends and he begins. So painfully, so true. Next, I suggest watching the special features first (both the behind the scenes footage and the interview) to really get a sense of what went into creating The Room and hear Tommy try to explain some of the retardation. The movie is sort of like the 'Where is Waldo' of film inconsistencies, so the interview will help you get an idea of what you're looking for. The behind the scenes is amazing. First off, Tommy wears one of those ponytail holders we wore as kids with the two balls on them. Secondly, you see the pure camera insanity, Tommy filmed the entire thing in both 33 mm and HD video, and he did this by taping the cameras together and hoisting them on a crane.

Now once you've done a little background, its time to let your jaw to drop and watch the hottest mess ever made. Here are some fun facts to keep in mind when you watch:

1. Tommy spent 6 million on the movie but it looks closer to $600. Aside from taping in both film and digital he ran a billboard for the movie in LA from its release until this year. He also used a green screen for shots that could have been done outside. But other then that I am not sure where all that money went. Oh, and he dosn't like to say where the money came from.

2. Tommy also doesn't like to say where he came from. He says he lived in France and New Orleans, I think he is from Estonia. It just seems right to me.

3. They reuse the same totally un-sexy sex scene twice. But its no flash back. The first time there are roses everywhere but you don't know where they came from. Later he buys roses and there they are in the repeat scene when they reuse it. Also, Lisa (his love interest) is wearing blue eye shadow when they bang but she isn't wearing it before. Also, he appears to be sticking his fuck stick closer to her belly button then her 'gina.

4. In the movie his character's name is Johnny but in one very climatic scene at the end someone calls him Tommy. I love that spent 6 milli but couldn't redo that scene.

5. Lisa's mom says she has breast cancer, Lisa tells her not to worry about it. And they sure don't because its never mentioned again.

6. Tommy gets loose on whiskey mixed with vodka and loves it.

7. Lisa orders the craziest pizza you will ever imagine. Its just retarded.

8. Lisa throws a birthday party for Tommy/Johnny and gets everyone, I mean everyone to go outside by yelling 'hey everyone, lets get some fresh air'. She does some schemin' in and cheatin' and then gets everyone to come back in by yelling 'hey everyone, lets go inside and eat some cake'. I do this often at parties when there is no cake for a personal chuckle.

10. When it is discovered that Denny owes money to a drug dealer Lisa's mom screams 'what kind of money?!' You know because drug dealers in San Francisco take various forms of money, rupees for example. Or maybe drug money is its own form of currency.

11. The drug dealers name is Chris-R, that's right Chris hyphen R.

12. The florist scene rules! The florist somehow doesn't recognize her 'favorite customer'; even though Tommy/Johnny is very distinctive, perhaps it's the fact he was wearing his sunglasses on his forehead, like literally over his eyebrows. Check it:

Apparently there is a scene where it looks like a bone is popping out of Lisa's neck for no reason at all. I have to get my copy back from my neighbor and try to scope this again. He's had it for a couple months but he has been spreading it around Brooklyn like bed bugs and I hate to be the one to stop the madness. When I do get it back there will be a screening. Let me know if your interested so I can have enough whiskey vodka and spoons on hand (people throw spoons at the screenings when the framed spoon picture comes on screen).

I am sure you can tell by the length of this how much I love this movie. I am telling you people watch 'The Room' its like Tommy says in the interview, 'its not 'a' room, its 'the' room.' It also doesn't really have anything to do with any room at all which is all part of the magic.

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Tagged in: General, Boob Tube   

The opinions expressed on the BUST blog are those of the authors themselves and do not necessarily reflect the position of BUST Magazine or its staff.




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