|Why Amanda Bynes' Vagina Matters|
Are you sick of talking about Jon Hamm’s penis yet? Me neither, but we should probably take a sec to discuss Amanda Bynes’ vagina. Last Friday, Bynes stepped up her girl-gone-wild game, announcing to the twitterverse “I want Drake to murder my vagina.” Since then the Internet’s been bugging out, trying to dissect the former child star’s actions and figure out what the hell is going on. Was the tweet a cry for help, a bold reclamation of female sexuality, or just a really graphic joke?
In the wake of the Steubenville media coverage backlash, many bloggers’ fervent condemnations of Bynes’ twat tweet as gross and unladylike come across as fairly icky. Unsurprisingly, many of these commentators are men. Guyism.com founder Chris Spags sarcastically labeled Amanda Bynes a “class act,” explaining that while he enjoys “a murdered vagina as much as the next guy...there is such a thing as subtlety in courtship.” Because describing your love of vaginal homicide on a public blog is the dictionary definition of subtlety. Next up is Anthony from Juicytings.com, who published a scathing post on Bynes’ willingness to “spread her legs for some random man,” stating that “for every woman with dignity seeking respect amongst men and society, sadly there are many women like Amanda Bynes pushing back the prospect of respect.” While Anthony isn’t the first blogger to express concern over Bynes’ mental health, his belief that her overt sexuality will trigger a lack of societal respect for the actress as a woman is slut shaming 101. Of course, men aren’t the only ones who have relegated Bynes to the bad girls table. In a Jezebel twitter roundup on the subject, Jenny Johnson, the writer who’s best known for her twitter feud with Chris Brown, replied to Bynes’ tweet with a snarky “you should be a mother.”
This whole scandal, particularly its feminist implications, is complicated by the fact that Bynes’ brain is clearly not operating at The Amanda Show levels (srsly, that show was genius). Recent Bynes tweets, such as this selfie of her cleavage and today’s sad/weird take on relationships, show that Bynes is in no place to be making a feminist statement. Still, there’s something to be said for brutal honesty, especially in a world where celebrities are micro-managed to the point of total dullness. Additionally, as The Cut pointed out, it’s not every day that you see a woman shamelessly propositioning a man: “I actually think requesting a man to murder your vagina is more empowered than, say, ‘Let me suck your dick.’… This makes her seem tough, kind of.” At the end of the day, while we might know a whole lot about Amanda Bynes’ vagina, we don’t really know what’s going on in her head. Still, Bynes isn’t the real story here—the real story is how the media has inverted a woman’s statement of sexual intent as a sign of insanity and a crippling lack of self-respect. Because the only thing scarier than a celebrity with a criminal record is a woman who refuses to act like a lady.
Images Via Gawker, The Hollywood Gossip, and TMZ
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