Moving on from a gig, a romance, or a roommate? Here’s some handy advice!
There may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but some are clearly more productive and compassionate than others. Whether you want to make a career change, say goodbye to a failing friendship, or leave a romantic partner behind, there are some common fundamentals to remember. Try these tips for making a graceful exit:
Take the high road
Let the other party know that things aren’t working, and that it’s time for you to move on. Leave on good terms: if you’re transitioning in your career, give your employer plenty of notice and do some succession planning. This ensures that you’ll be able to use them as a reference in the future. The same holds true for personal relationships—don’t trash your ex on Facebook or badmouth your buddy among friends. That only reflects poorly on you.
Stay away from blame
Focus any explanations on yourself: say “I’m unhappy,” not, “You are a miserable a-hole.” No matter how heinous someone’s behavior has been, don’t sink to their level. Keep it classy.
Live large and treat yourself (as much as your budget allows)
Post-breakup, splurge on fancy booze or concert tickets, and schedule plenty of friend-dates. Repeat as needed.
Before you drunk-dial the ex or beg for your old job back, call a friend who can remind you of all the reasons you ended things (and, if necessary, physically restrain you until the urge passes).
Reflect on what you learned
Are you seeing any patterns, or personal areas that need work before you’re ready to date again? Is your new job putting you on the right track on your career path? Be clear with yourself about what you need and desire.
Get back out there before you think you’re ready
Go on a few dates (they may suck) or interview for a job in a new field, even if you don’t really want the position. The truth is that you’ll never feel 100 percent ready to take the plunge into something new. The best thing to do is just dive in and swim.
Illustration by Ping Zhu
This article originally appeared in the June/July 2013 issue of BUST. Subscribe!