Category » Eat Me
National Donut Day, aka my third favorite not-real holiday after Rex Manning Day and Flag Day, happens to fall today, on this very June 6th 2014. Now what does this mean to you? EVERYTHING, this holiday should mean everything to you. Donuts are  my favorite circular shaped food, which means a lot considering most delicious things in the world are circular: pizza, pie, chicken pot pie, bagels, onion rings, sushi rolls, waffles, pancakes, hamburgers and even ... Read More
Full disclosure: I am writing this from a chair. I’m not doing squats, I’m not lunging across the office, I’m not secretly clenching my butt cheeks together while envisioning my brand new J. Crew neon yellow bikini settling perfectly on my teardrop behind. I’m wearing shorts that are maybe just slightly shorter than necessary, but that’s because Forever 21 was having a super legit sale and IT’S BASICALLY SUMMER OUTSIDE! This ... Read More
Today, I stumbled upon several articles promoting Alexa Chung's collaboration with Nails Inc. and the reveal of their newest polish made of KALE. No, you did not read that incorrectly. Yes, this nail polish, entitled NailKale, is made with the trendiest leafy green to ever make a comeback.After discovering this hilarious nonsense, I decided to scour the internet for more bi-products of the kale-obsessed decade in which we live. What I stumbled upon will surely ... Read More
One of the customers at the Atomic Grill Restaurant in Morgantown, West Virginia, requested via UrbanSpoon that, for whatever reason, the servers "show more skin." In retaliation to this absurd complaint, the owner of the restaurant, Dan McCawley, posted a photo advertising a $7.00 potato skin special. Amazing. McCawley said in an interview with ABC that, "It was brutish. I was upset. I'm a father of a 12-year-old girl and I've got five sisters. The way that ... Read More
In my early days as a restaurant cook, I had nightmares about breakfast. Not about consuming it, but preparing it. That fear had less to do with my hatred of waking up early and more to do with my anxiety over poaching eggs. “Ordering! Five more eggs Benedict!” the expeditor would scream, and I’d crack 30 eggs into the poaching water, hoping 20 of those would turn out edible. Though it took a while before I got my rhythm down, once I did, I became a ... Read More
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