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> small breast support group - (I need it even if they don't)
strongirl
post May 12 2011, 07:30 AM
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Eris_Sweetleaf, if you have the talent and ability to use comic drawing as a medium for telling a story that uplifts and humanizes us all, you dang well better get to work, woman!

Kera, to answer your questions, I was maybe 20, 21 when I first went to the clothes optional hot springs that is still my favorite place on earth. I was a bit scared initially but my family had always been pretty accepting of body stuff and nudity around the house, so I think I was in a better place than people who don't run around naked at all, even at home. Honestly, I didn't have a hang-up about being small-breasted then, I was more worried about looking "fat" (which I wasn't but that was my body dysmorphism of choice at that age). And at first I did do a lot of "comparision looking" - checking out other people's bodies and running them through my internal assessment system of whether they looked good, whether the females looked better than me, etc. Plus there's the whole "sex = nudity or does it?" thing that comes up when you first start doing clothes optional stuff. But all that nutty thinking lasted maybe - an hour? A few hours? I've taken a lot of first-timer friends there over the years and it always amazes me how quickly most people get over their issues and just relax. There are always kids there, and older folks (even older than I am now, LOL). And it's in a beautiful natural setting. So it's actually difficult to stay tense or be unhappy about your appearance. It feels really good there.

The one downside is that it does spoil ya - I absolutely loathe swimsuits and resent having to wear one! Thus the "envelope-pushing" in other settings (plus it's naughty fun). I've been "illegally" top-free everywhere from Pueblo Reservoir here in Colorado, to a sailboat pulling into a harbor on Tortola, British Virgin Islands, where the captain asked me to put my top back on so he wouldn't lose his license. Oh yeah, my little girls do get around. smile.gif

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Eris_Sweetleaf
post May 11 2011, 07:02 PM
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QUOTE(strongirl @ May 9 2011, 11:38 PM) *
Ha, when I was in college a male friend told me I had "big ovaries", ie. the feminine equivalent of "big balls". I liked the expression and have used it since to compliment other women on their confidence...and it always gets a smile or a laugh. smile.gif

On the "real beauty" event, I'll use an expression I got from my teenage son: Represent!!! It seems like a perfect opportunity for you as a petite woman to speak up and point out that body acceptance goes both ways - if it's ok to be "curvy" then it ought to be ok to be "skinny" too. Or whatever. Body acceptance means just that.

Represent, DeeRayy!


It is okay to be skinny, as long as you're not skinny in a way that actually damages your health (much like how being overweight can be damaging too) but I think the biggest problem is that images of anorexia, eating disorders and who suffers from them has been pushed into our faces so much that for a lot of people they qucikly forget that anyone who isn't 'curvy' isn't starving themselves. tongue.gif

Personally, I find it frustrating that a lot of women are using their personal suffrage as a way to gauge who deserves the most respect and often tune out other people who don't have problems like them. Of course, these are the drama queens but unfortunately like so many things in our culture, the loudest people get the most attention even if their cause is not doing ANYONE any sort of favor or good.

I want to see more body respect for all women, not just small chested or curvy women but ALL women. Its not a movement when one group has to be used as an example of what isn't human or beautiful so I guess it doesn't come to any surprise that I don't agree with women who say that only one size makes a real woman.

Scary thing is, these ladies are sounding just like the men who say the exact same thing...but I guess because they are women, what they say is uplifting despite the fact that its the same hurtful message. An insult will remain an insult, no matter who says it but people so quickly forget this. At least with this kind of thinking, its easy to find those who just want their asses-kissed and those who are willing to sit down and listen to the stories of EVERYONE, not just those who look like them.

Funny thing is, I wrote a comic script based on this entire debate as well as the small breast discussion yet I have yet to flesh it out or draw it. Urgh, I should stop being lazy and do something about it because this story is meant to be told and should be told. laugh.gif
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KeraBear
post May 11 2011, 06:32 PM
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Question for Strongirl - about these places you were talking about. How old were you when you first started going? Were you sorta scared at first?
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KeraBear
post May 11 2011, 06:28 PM
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QUOTE(karategrrl @ May 11 2011, 03:27 PM) *
That bridal bitch!!!
Fuck that bridal beeeotch!!! Whew, I feel better.



Seconded! Ohmygosh that makes me so angry too!! Reminds me of some bustier friends that I know who make their snide comments and suggestions about improving my chest, always trying to be "helpful" of course. As if we are people to be pitied somehow. rolleyes.gif
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karategrrl
post May 11 2011, 02:27 PM
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QUOTE(babyblue @ May 10 2011, 11:13 PM) *
Haha!!! I love it! Although I'd be afraid that it would just sound continuously, much like the alarm of an unattended vehicle. Dickheads are taking over the world!!!

LOL!!! laugh.gif laugh.gif laugh.gif

That bridal bitch!!! I am POed at how she treated you! Yes, YOU are the bride and it's all about how YOU want to look and how YOU feel most beautiful! Too bad you've already bought the dress--I'd bring my business elsewhere and tell her why to boot. My sis in law wore low-heeled brtidal shoes and changed later into brand-new canvas sneaks. We have a great photo of her lifitng up her dress and kicking her leg with the sneaker on, and a crowd of her friends watching and cheering.

Fuck that bridal beeeotch!!! Whew, I feel better.
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anarch
post May 11 2011, 01:22 AM
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QUOTE(strongirl @ May 9 2011, 08:38 PM) *
Ha, when I was in college a male friend told me I had "big ovaries", ie. the feminine equivalent of "big balls".


Myself, I like using "S/he's got gonads!" (or, "Get some gonads, sheesh...") Gender-neutral & the hard g makes an excellent springboard to inflect the rest of the word "-onads!" with a biting level of feeling.

babyblue, DeeRayy's right, you were NOT being too sensitive. It's infuriating to state your wishes and have someone disrespect them.

I don't see why "real beauty" campaigns can't be more inclusive. "Real beauty comes in all shapes and sizes"...has that already been a slogan for something or other? Something like that doesn't support one class of people at the expense of another. Anyway, small boobs don't only come on small body types. Reality is more complicated than advertisers like to acknowledge.

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DeeRayy
post May 10 2011, 06:42 PM
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babyblue, you were in no way being too sensitive. that woman was completely out of line to suggest that you add cups into the top. if you had inquired about it that would have been one thing, but for her to try and push it upon you is unacceptable! it's YOUR wedding dress and should be exactly as you want it. and for her to request that you still keep it in mind?? ohhhh my blood would have been boiling! boiling i say!

with that said, don't let her get you down! you're getting married and that's a beautiful thing. you're going to look GORGEOUS in your wedding gown [and i'm sure your fiance will agree with me on that]. that lady obviously knows nothing about how to treat a bride to be.


*note on the dove presentation. it was pretty much what i expected- a lot of talking about how you don't have to be a size two to be beautiful. i honestly get tired of hearing this time and time again because i grew up in a family of women who constantly criticize the thin women of the world. however, i guess i just have to keep in mind that obesity and excess weight is a growing problem here and that there are probably more women out there who can relate to the dove campaign than the small breast support group. it's so cliche to mention that the grass is always greener on the other side, but it's so true. anyway, she did do a very brief story on a woman she knew of who was naturally very thin and longed for curves. the basic point of the story was to tell the audience never to pass judgment on others because you never know what they struggle with. i appreciated that story but i still really wish the campaign would focus on more than just the desire to be thin. i mean, that's not the only thing women struggle with [as shown by this forum].

i couldn't help but feel like such a minority in that sea of people!
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babyblue
post May 10 2011, 06:13 PM
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QUOTE(karategrrl @ May 10 2011, 09:13 AM) *
auralpoison, how about an app that identifies dickheads and sounds an alarm? Apparently they have one for ghosts; why not pervy asshats? wink.gif

Haha!!! I love it! Although I'd be afraid that it would just sound continuously, much like the alarm of an unattended vehicle. Dickheads are taking over the world!!!

On another note, I had a phone consultation yesterday with the woman who sold me my wedding dress. I am scheduled for a fitting in a couple of weeks, and was just calling to confirm my appointment... She said that she had a seamstress coming to the boutique to take care of the alterations and to "add the cups into the top," to which I replied, "Excuse me?" "Oh," she said, "I thought we had talked about that before. Because of your bust measurement, I figured you would want to add a little 'oomph', so we can get some pads sewn in there for you!" Boy, was I livid! I politely declined, and instead of shutting the f up, she told me "we" would still "keep it in mind." Now, I also practically fought with this woman over the length of my dress, as she was insistent that I wear heels since I'm 4'11". She actually refused to order the dress in the correct length, because she told me there was "no way" I would find low-heeled bridal shoes. I can't wait to march in there with my adorable Kate Spade flats and lack of "oomph." I mean, it's fine for me to wish I had bigger breasts, but for some reason, it is completely offensive for a virtual stranger to assume that! Maybe I'm being too sensitive. It wasn't the mere suggestion, it was the way she worded it and her tone of voice that really had me heated. Naturally, she's about 5'9" with huge boobs...
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karategrrl
post May 10 2011, 09:13 AM
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QUOTE(auralpoison @ May 7 2011, 02:04 AM) *
[color=#FF0000]This is very high in my top ten list of demented shit of the week: iPhone app that augments breasts. Of course, it's free & more men than women are downloading it. I can just see a table full of giggling asshats taking iPhone pics of women as they step onto the patio at happy hour & then playing with their dimensions like pervy Viktor Frankensteins.

Ha, I think Keira Knightly looks SUPER as-is, in their "before" pic.

auralpoison, how about an app that identifies dickheads and sounds an alarm? Apparently they have one for ghosts; why not pervy asshats? wink.gif

And feel free to vent here anytime. It's one of the few places we can do it with others who really GET IT.
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karategrrl
post May 10 2011, 09:11 AM
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On the swimsuit issue, I've found that it can be uber-challenging to find one that fits properly and is flattering and makes one feel great. It is time-consuming, but finding a brand that works for you is half the battle, I think. Lately I've been happy with one found through Venus (if you can get through looking at the suits on their busty models on their site and catalog). I just came back from an island vacation and was surprsied to really LIKE the way in looked in the suit I bought from there (when I saw our pictures). I got the enhancer top (it comes padded and also with humungo removable extra pads, wchich is dumbass...I removed the extra shit and was left with a flattering, slightly paddded top that made it look like I really and truly had bigger breasts, not just craply-shaped wannabe padding). Also they have lots of cuts of bottoms, which I like b/c I need a higher-cup bottom with my shortish legs. Only drawback was that the padded top retained water a bit. smile.gif

Also I like some from Newport News--much cheaper. Also you can find swimwear enhancers (I think they're called "Bravo"--available online) that you can insert in any top or suit. Nice, b/c then you dont' have to rule out an otherwise cute suit just b/c of no contouring/shaping. Let me empahsize that I typically don't like PADDING, just a tad of shaping/contouring--I find that even like 2- or 3-eighths-of-an-inch-thick shaping can make a huge difference in how a top drapes/fits. Plus it provides a tad of modesty for my highbeams. wink.gif
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strongirl
post May 9 2011, 10:38 PM
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Ha, when I was in college a male friend told me I had "big ovaries", ie. the feminine equivalent of "big balls". I liked the expression and have used it since to compliment other women on their confidence...and it always gets a smile or a laugh. smile.gif

On the "real beauty" event, I'll use an expression I got from my teenage son: Represent!!! It seems like a perfect opportunity for you as a petite woman to speak up and point out that body acceptance goes both ways - if it's ok to be "curvy" then it ought to be ok to be "skinny" too. Or whatever. Body acceptance means just that.

Represent, DeeRayy!
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DeeRayy
post May 9 2011, 01:44 PM
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strongirl, boy have you got some balls! if i can attain half the confidence you have by the end of college i'll be set smile.gif

i'm scheduled to volunteer at that dove "embracing real beauty" event. the speaker is going to be stacy nadeau. i looked her up and it actually made me feel less intimidated about going. she's actually kind of petite too! if she shares anything particularly helpful i'll be glad to share it with you guys. i'm still expecting the event to be catered towards curvy plus size women, but i'll just have to wait and see what it's like for myself.
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strongirl
post May 9 2011, 08:10 AM
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I was offended by the thought of the app (I didn't read it cuz why torture myself?). I wasn't offended by AP because I trust her intentions and Deeray made it clear that she wasn't offended by AP, either. But I do think that Deeray made an excellent point in that it's not particularly constructive for us to focus on that sort of thing. And when someone is having a "bad boob day", coming across something like that can really hurt.

We go to a lot of effort in here to debunk the myths that big boobs are better, including the myth that all men like them better than small boobs. Stuff like that app does the opposite - it reinforces the myth. While I think AP's reaction of outrage is very appropriate and shared in here, I personally don't think it's all that helpful for us to spend too much time in that headspace. As Anarch pointed out, the group evisceration can be therapeutic and it's helpful for the outraged person to get support, so I wouldn't want to "squelch" people posting things like that in here when they need that kind of support. But at the end of the day, our mental health is better served by reinforcing positive messages about small boobs, and body acceptance in general, rather than working up a head full of steam over stupid stuff like that app.

Kera, re. "rocking it" at clothes optional beaches and hot springs - thanks! smile.gif But really, the places I like to go are all about body acceptance and are family-friendly, naturist-oriented places, truly the opposite of a meat-market, swinger, competitive scene, so "confidence" isn't required as much as simple appreciation of the beauty and variety of the human body, including mine. That South Beach scene mentioned by babyblue sounds like Hell on Earth. No thank you!

Although I must confess to occasionally going topless at regular public beaches and parks, pushing the envelope of legality. wink.gif We haven't discussed the topfree rights movement in here that much but I do think it has relevance.
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anarch
post May 9 2011, 12:47 AM
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I was interested in AP's link. I may be misremembering, but I think the links posted here have often ranged from positive to outrage-worthy. I've found our group evisceration of the outrage-worthy ones to be therapeutic.

I want an app that passes judgment on men's body parts. Two wrongs don't make a right, but I think fewer men would feel entitled to pull this shit if they knew what it was like to be on the receiving end every day, everywhere. NOTHING teaches like experience.
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DeeRayy
post May 8 2011, 02:17 PM
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on another note, i saw fast five this weekend and i thought i was going to have to cringe and look away from a pair of implants every five minutes since it's a guy movie, but i was pleasantly surprised! all the actresses in that movie were small breasted hotties! besides 300, it's the only guy movie i've seen like that!
smile.gif
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DeeRayy
post May 8 2011, 01:54 PM
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kera, i see your point now about her needing to vent too. i guess i'm just easier to upset than others. i wasn't trying to attack her or anything, i was just voicing my personal opinion about those posts.
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KeraBear
post May 8 2011, 01:20 PM
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Strongirl, I am envious of your ability to just rock it out at a clothing optional beach. That is like the ultimate in confidence right there. If I ever reach the point where I can just chill on the beach buck naked without freaking out on the inside (and out!)... that's when I know I've made it! smile.gif
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KeraBear
post May 8 2011, 01:11 PM
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QUOTE(auralpoison @ May 6 2011, 10:04 PM) *
I want to design an app that is a "Fuck YOUR app!" app so that we can let the people that peddle this crap know what we think about it.


LMAO!!!!!! I can totally get behind this!

I wasn't really offended really. I mean, that's just AP being.... AP. She needs a place to vent just like we do. I can appreciate where you are coming from, though, DeeRay.
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DeeRayy
post May 8 2011, 12:28 PM
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no offense auralpoison, but if you have a feeling that these articles might offend or upset the small breasted gals, then why do you post them on the small breast support group? we're supposed to be encouraging each other on here, not reminding each other of all the negative crap out there in the world. we already know that people can be insensitive jerks when it comes to women's bodies. i've encountered those kinds of people and like to avoid them whenever possible. i know you probably mean well, but do we really need you informing us when something like that iphone app happens? honestly, what good does it do here? i go to this place when i need to feel better about myself, and i certainly never feel better after reading those articles. this is supposed to be a place of positive energy, support, and strength- not a place of anger. once again, no offense.
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auralpoison
post May 6 2011, 09:04 PM
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This is very high in my top ten list of demented shit of the week: iPhone app that augments breasts. Of course, it's free & more men than women are downloading it. I can just see a table full of giggling asshats taking iPhone pics of women as they step onto the patio at happy hour & then playing with their dimensions like pervy Viktor Frankensteins.

I swear, some days I just want to run around slapping people that need it, like whoever decided this was a good idea. Seriously. Line. Them. Up. My pimp hand is strong enough for everybody.

ETA: Again, I did NOT post this to upset anybody or make anybody feel bad. This kinda stuff just sticks in my craw so much & I wanna share the goddamn outrage. I want to design an app that is a "Fuck YOUR app!" app so that we can let the people that peddle this crap know what we think about it.


--------------------
"You're cute, like a velvet glove cast in iron. And like a gas chamber, a real fun gal."
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