[tesao]

hormonal birth control can have various side effects related to sex. so can a number of other drugs.

i agree with stargazer that this topic would be better discussed in the bc threads

i notice that you avoided answering the question if you can have an orgasm when pleasuring yourself.

i'm confused by what you mean when you say with you on top from behind. can you explain how that works?

[courtiegirl]

courtiegirl, welcome to the lounge. please visit the newbie thread to introduce yourself and let yourself be known to the lounge.

there is a thread in the our bodies our hell that talks about bc choices and reactions to different methods if you need more info and support.

in terms of orgasm, or lack thereof, what positions do you normally have sex? do you masturbate and if you do, have you had an orgasm on your own?

My boy and I usually do missionary, me on top, or from behindd with me on top (which is amazing in the morning).I've tried masterbating a couple of times, but it never seems to do anything for me. I've read all through those BC posts; my point of adding that into this one is that BC tends to lower lilbido and decrease the ability to orgasm in some women, so I thought that may be part of me problem...?

[stargazer]

courtiegirl, welcome to the lounge. please visit the newbie thread to introduce yourself and let yourself be known to the lounge.

there is a thread in the our bodies our hell that talks about bc choices and reactions to different methods if you need more info and support.

in terms of orgasm, or lack thereof, what positions do you normally have sex? do you masturbate and if you do, have you had an orgasm on your own?

[courtiegirl]

Hi everyone,

I'm new to this but have been reading about birth control reviews etc. on here. I've been on the shot for a while but need to switch because of the side affects this poison has recently been introducing to my body; ie low libido, anxiety, some hair loss.... ANYway that's not what I'm posting this for.

I'm getting frustrated because I have never had an orgasm before- I don't think. Is it something I'm doing wrong? Something he's doing wrong? Sex is amazing with my boy, I just never seem to reach that "climax" point.

Help?

[tesao]

(((((((aural))))))))

[girltrouble]

aural, erm. i am going to have your internets babies....

[auralpoison]

Okaaaaay.

[CandyMandyDandy]

today i heard something on Kiis FM its a radio show in LA and there were 3 girls who were dating one guy for a VERY long time and they confronted him and he actually had the nerve to say that it was the girls fault that he did what he did and one of the girls actually still slept with him right after they confronted him WOW

[tesao]

HBosch, the same thing has happened to me, except that *i* was the one cooking with habanero peppers. i made habanero pepper pasta. got the stuff all oooooooooooover my hands. after dinner, mr hotbuns and i were fooling around in front of the fire place. i unzipped him and played with him, then we got down to business. i think i felt it about the same time that he did - except that i got it once removed. took me a while to figure out *what the frell* was going on. i laughed my head off. he wasn't quite so tickled; course it hurt him more.

not to worry, though, we were both fine within 24 hours, no need to go to the er. just chalk it up to experience! (and a pretty funny shared memory for future cold nights. hee!)

[HieronymusxBosch]

Hi,
I'm new to posting here (I already introduced myself in the newbie thread) but I was wondering ether anyone can commiserate with me.
Last night I think my boyfriend may have gotten hot pepper into my vagina. He had cooked earlier and cut up some peppers, and when we were having sex he fingered me, and almost immediately I started to feel burning. It was mild (thankfully) and although it pretty much put an end to the sex thing(this was not the kind of hot sex that I wanted...), it went away in a few hours. Has this happened to anyone else? Is there any other reason that I would feel burning?

-B

[strongirl]

Moonpieluv - thank you so much for posting, that was extremely helpful! What you describe at 3-4 days of not having sex matches my experience pretty closely. Down, weirded out, horny...and having desire come in waves. Exactly! It's after a week that I start experiencing the more extreme stuff but the 3-7 day level is very much like you describe.

I was particulary struck by your reaction to being around children. My son is 13 but breastfeeding him when he was a baby was a wonderful experience for me and he nursed for over 2 years. Even now, over a decade later, when I hear a baby cry my breasts tighten and contract as if they are going to let down milk! At times it's almost painful.

This relates to the sex thing in that I think, in general, I am much more connected to and aware of my body and its needs and reactions than a lot of people are. I am an extremely physical person and very connected to my senses and the state of my physical health and comfort. There have been several times when I had minor medical conditions and the doctor said "Wow, I can't believe you detected this so early!" I hear my body's whispers when many people have to wait till the voice is louder, or even screaming.

I almost wonder if this creates sort of a "biofeedback loop" when I'm not having sex, where my mind picks up on the subtle physical differences, reacts with concern, which causes more physical stress reactions, etc etc. Maybe I'll try meditations/affirmations next time and use my mind to tell my body that it will be ok, that more sex will come in the future, and it just needs to settle down and relax. It doesn't address the hormonal/chemical component but it might help and I've never tried it.

I also know what you mean by high libido/low libido in a relationship (not a problem in my current relationship but has been in the past). That's a very difficult thing to deal with, especially if both partners genuinely love each other and want to meet each others' needs.

Thanks again, Moonpieluv - very helpful!

[Moonpieluv]

Strongirl----I can relate to feeling down in the dumps when I haven't had sex in a while... meaning after like four days of not getting it. My libido sorta went to sleep a bit when I was living long distance from an ex... only getting boom boom about once a month. I still masturbated, but only about once a week or so. Now that I live with mr. I find that I get down, weirded out, and overwhelmingly horny after 3-4 days... so much so that I can feel the need in intense waves, especially in my abdomen area.. it's primal..my body reacts in waves more intensely when around children in a maternal way. Every touch from Mr. Luv sends me in a shiver. I've never thought of myself as nympho like, if you will. I just know that I have a high Libido, that my intervals of waiting are much shorter than others with LL. I struggle with Mr. Luv because he is LL. I consider sex more important. I will say that it psychologically affects me when I do not receive it regularly from a person that I love and am attracted to.. call it what you will... affirmation? I did at one point go thru a phase of having sex to fill some void...I was extremely unhappy, lost-like, and all around insecure. It didn't help in the least. It just made me feel worse.
I've never experienced feelings of physical illness without it per se, but irritability and mild feelings of depression do come into play. IMO, I think that's pretty normal. We are sexual and loving beings with physiological needs.
I'm sorry that you are not getting direct experience from the busties. I suggest speaking with your gyn. especially if you feel it affects your menstral cycle.

[culturehandy]

But stress can have an effect on one's cycle...

[strongirl]

Thanks for the feedback.

Actually, no, I've never had an addiction to anything. I did have an eating disorder a couple decades ago when I was in college but it was more about societal pressure to conform to a skinny ideal conflicting with family pressure to eat eat eat. Not really a food addiction. I partake lightly in alcohol and recreational drugs, but never on a regular or addictive basis.

I agree about the power of the mind/body connection and I do like the stress-relieving aspects of sex (beats the hell out of Xanax, which it seems everyone is gulping like candy). I'm just not sure that that's the whole story here. It seems improbable that my mind could throw my menstrual cycle off that dramatically but maybe. And there was another study recently showing that regular sex regulates women's cycles. So at least that part seems to be not just mental.

You're right, the time before I had sex didn't kill me but I've been having it pretty regularly since my teens so it's kinda hard to remember back that far. And I'm sure it wouldn't kill me to live without it now but I'm just surprised at the degree to which it seems to affect my overall well-being.

Thanks again for the feedback. We can drop this now - I was hoping that others would have similar experiences but I guess not. Thanks for trying to be helpful.

[culturehandy]

strongirl,

I've been thinking about this for a while, and while I'm no psychologist I have seen people with addictive personalities many a time before. I am curious about a few things, and I'm not trying to be an ass here.

Have you had addictions issues in the past before? It could be that you've replaced one addiction as a coping mechanism or whatever, with another.

I agree with ananke that this is also a psychological issue. Do you have sex during times of stress, is sex your coping mechanism and when you get stressed and you don't have the release of sex, your mind starts having an affect on your body? If that makes any sense whatsoever...

[ananke]

My take on it? All the symptoms are psychological. Presumably the time before you had sex for the first time didn't kill you. Never underestimate the way your mind will affect your body.

[strongirl]

Girltrouble - thanks for the response. I had read the Nymphomania book some years ago and really appreciated its insights from a feminist/social perspective but it doesn't really speak much to my personal/health situation.

And yes, I am a diligent masturbator (usually daily) and greatly enjoy it but it doesn't come close to filling the overall need, which as I said, seems to be chemical or hormonal more than anything else.

Based on the fact that no one else jumped in on this, I'm reinforced in my perception that this is unusual, which makes me feel kind of isolated and bummed.

[candycane_girl]

In regards to the "pushing him out thing" I've heard it's because our vaginas majorly contract during orgasm. I've squirted too and I hate doing it in my own bed cause I end up having a biiiig wet spot that I have to avoid sleeping on.

[damona]

mornington, hell YEAH i've been having fun! and it was in a hotel, so i didn't really care if the sheets were soaked. at home i put down towels

anyway, thanks ladies, it's cool that it's not just me, especially the pushing out thing, cuz i know of squirting, but i've never heard anyone talk about that!

[mornington]

damona - I've done the whole pushing-him-out thing... it's weird. And I don't think there's a "normal" amount of fluid, just as in how male ejaculate changes in volume. As female ejaculate is thinner, it stands to reason that it seems like a lot more, especially as we can come more than once. But fuck that, you're having fun, no?