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> Mooooving on!!!!!
jami
post Sep 8 2007, 05:16 PM
Post #921


Hardcore BUSTie
***
Posts: 1,281
From: I'm back to life in California


hi whitelightning...
maybe all you need is patience. I dunno. it sounds like you two click. the snapping at you is not cool. not being respectful at all.
it's all gotta hurt. I don't know what to say.. I'm here for you. keep us posted.
hugs to you. ~jami~


--------------------
You will travel through the valley of rejection.
You will reside in the land of morning mists.
And you will find your home.
Though it will not be to where you left it.
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whitelightning
post Sep 8 2007, 05:26 AM
Post #922


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Posts: 93


sorry, jami. i hope this nonsense ends soon for you...

oh, the roommate: the last time i was posting in here, i was living in my friend's basement. he decided to revamp the whole place and gave me ample time to move out and find a real place to live. he told me his friend was looking for a place to live as well; i had met this guy once or twice before and i knew he was really cool and that we'd get along great. but considering the fact that we were both coming out of failed long term relationships, neither of us was interested in the other at first. as we spent more time together, commiserating over our exes, we found out that we have a lot in common in terms of not just interests but in values too - how we view relationships, politics, food, the world, etc. if you recall, at the time, i was seeing this other dude that was mostly a physical thing...but i wasn't very happy with that. i felt like he ignored me a lot and would mostly come over late at night after hanging out at our friends' houses next door, all coked up and shit. just wasn't a good situation...

to make a long and dramatic story short, we began to really like one another and it quickly turned to love. i can confidently call it love because i have *never* felt this way about anyone before. i've experienced love, but not this kind. this felt a lot more free and unconditional and full of promise. we clicked so well and i really thought this could work out. but we were about to be roommates! it was a long-running joke for awhile and we knew we might be headed for trouble with this one, but whatever...we both felt confident that whatever happens, we'd work it out.

by this point, i broke things off with Cokie McCokerson and decided to give my roommate a try. it was a little weird, but like i said, i never felt this way about anyone before. i couldn't gauge it by anything else because it was like nothing else. as it turns out, he's not over his ex. they broke up about 8 months ago, but he's still really a mess. the hard part is that i knew this going into a possible relationship with him, but i figured he was passed the 'getting soused every night/crying into my beer' phase. he came on strong with me and then began to push me away; he's still angry about his misfortunes and (i believe) still is in love with her. jeez. he began acting like a total prick to me at times (despite his usual generosity and kindness) and snapping at me, sometimes in public. i am NOT ok with that and i've let him become aware of it. trouble is, we're roommates, so it's hard for me to walk away and not talk to him.

this is getting way too long, so i'll try to summarize: we both love each other but have realized that a romantic relationship between the two of us is simply not possible right now because he's not ready to be in one. as it turns out, i'm probably not either because i am feeling very rejected and sad and jealous of his ex which is like poison. i'm comparing myself to her and he's aware of it.

i'm feeling really dejected right now.
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jami
post Sep 7 2007, 11:40 AM
Post #923


Hardcore BUSTie
***
Posts: 1,281
From: I'm back to life in California


whitelightning/opossum... congrats on nursing school!! proud of you!! (yea)
and I know what you mean about getting over what never started. the heart does what it wants to.


you can do what nickclick and auralpoison advised me to do all these months ago... play your music loud. dance naked. (still remember that one!) think of *you*.

as for me, another court date has come and gone. we won again. pissed him off again. Judge is getting tired of his tyrades. I actually had to make an appt with him to see son and help with son's vehicle. son waited 20 minutes, he never showed. way to go, dad.
the only bad thing is - he's still delaying producing his documents, we have an offer on our property, he won't accept... Lawyer says another 6 months. it's been 7 already.
~jami~


--------------------
You will travel through the valley of rejection.
You will reside in the land of morning mists.
And you will find your home.
Though it will not be to where you left it.
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nickclick
post Sep 7 2007, 07:11 AM
Post #924


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Posts: 2,134
From: jersey


white/opossum, congrats on nursing school. what's going on with your roommate?
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whitelightning
post Sep 6 2007, 10:06 AM
Post #925


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Posts: 93


whoa....whitelightning here. my old, old username was opossum78 - in case any of you were like 'who the hell is this?'

sorry about that!
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opossum78
post Sep 3 2007, 11:48 PM
Post #926


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Posts: 11
From: PDX, OR


hi all...it's been awhile. forgive me for posting and ghosting there, but things got a little, er, hectic. i found a lot of support here in this forum and i thank you all profusely.

jami...i'm so glad to hear you're in a better place now even if your ex is still acting like a turd that missed his little nap. keep breathing...you are stronger than you think.

things are better for me; cut off contact with the ex after he tried to get me to pay $60 in library fines for items in his possession. in true opossum fashion, i stormed up to his house and screamed and cried on his front lawn in front of everybody. it wasn't a tantrum thing, it was like a what-do-you-want-from-me kind of outburst. had a brief thing there with someone else but didn't feel like i was happy or being treated the way i wanted to (and still obviously not over the ex entirely...).

life seemed to turn around, though. i got into nursing school!! i start in a couple of weeks and i'm very excited to have something to look forward to. but sweet jesus, you don't even want to know the mess i'm in now as far as love is concerned. let's just say i'm typing this with very puffy, red eyes. and the subject involved is none other than my roommate. how do you get over something that never really started? how do you get over someone who's sleeping obliviously, soundly across the hall? sad.gif

it's going to be a long night.
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jami
post Aug 17 2007, 04:55 PM
Post #927


Hardcore BUSTie
***
Posts: 1,281
From: I'm back to life in California


well, it's done. he threatened to sic the sheriff on me. told him - go ahead. see if John is available to come out! (haha!)
It never happened. judge is getting tired of his sh*t.
when he was done and gone, I felt so free. Just had a great night with son at home. smile.gif
told my dad - I'm so much stronger than I was not three months ago. would never had seen that one coming
thanks to all my bustie friends!
~jami~


--------------------
You will travel through the valley of rejection.
You will reside in the land of morning mists.
And you will find your home.
Though it will not be to where you left it.
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nickclick
post Aug 16 2007, 09:56 AM
Post #928


Hardcore BUSTie
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Posts: 2,134
From: jersey


good, another nite in YOUR bed!
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jami
post Aug 15 2007, 03:02 PM
Post #929


Hardcore BUSTie
***
Posts: 1,281
From: I'm back to life in California


he's a coward. did not even show up.
demanding to come when I have an appt., to have me reschedule. nope, not gonna happen.
and NOT gonna happen when I'm not here.


--------------------
You will travel through the valley of rejection.
You will reside in the land of morning mists.
And you will find your home.
Though it will not be to where you left it.
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snarky7
post Aug 15 2007, 02:43 PM
Post #930


Hardcore BUSTie
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Posts: 371
From: If I'm posting, I'm not at Zumba!


hey jami - hoping today's going well....
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jami
post Aug 14 2007, 07:20 PM
Post #931


Hardcore BUSTie
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Posts: 1,281
From: I'm back to life in California


hello bustie ladies. send me your good vibes.
a friend emailed me - and I printed it out (next to my monitor) "Don't show fear. Animals smell fear"
ex-to-be is coming to the house tomorrow (but not IN the house) to collect things that court said he could have. like my king size bed to be traded for their full. (ew!) he gets the coffeepot and dvds. sheesh, such things to fight over.
I just want his documentation done!
I just have to be strong around him. (and keep the video camera going!)
~jami~


--------------------
You will travel through the valley of rejection.
You will reside in the land of morning mists.
And you will find your home.
Though it will not be to where you left it.
Go to the top of the page
 
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jami
post Aug 13 2007, 10:02 PM
Post #932


Hardcore BUSTie
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Posts: 1,281
From: I'm back to life in California


so knorl05 - what happened? you two talked it out, right?


--------------------
You will travel through the valley of rejection.
You will reside in the land of morning mists.
And you will find your home.
Though it will not be to where you left it.
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knorl05
post Aug 10 2007, 01:05 PM
Post #933


Hardcore BUSTie
***
Posts: 819
From: detroit rock city


so my old bf has this new chicky he's hangin with. she lives in a another state and when she comes into town she stays at his place. i'm almost not allowed to talk to him (or rather i care not to) when she's there.
so i call him when i thought he was at work. turns out he called off so was home for the day. i made the convo real short and got off as quick as possible, slightly irritated.
so then i go to send my girl a text telling her of my woes.
TYPE"she's staying at his place and he called off work for her. arg. i wanna beat her up. hehehe"
SEND
to him, by accident. are you kidding me??
had to send follow up texts apologizing saying it was just girl stuff.
that sucked. havent heard back from him. but he knows how i am so we'll talk after she's gone. i almost dont ever want to talk to him again even though he's also my bff.
i dont really care. i'm just annoyed. wtf ever. he's livin his life just sucks for me i have a harder time connecting with people than he does. always seems to have at least one little hooker at his beck and call.... boo. hiss.


--------------------
We adore chaos because we love to produce order.
- M.C. Escher
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jami
post Aug 10 2007, 11:29 AM
Post #934


Hardcore BUSTie
***
Posts: 1,281
From: I'm back to life in California


thanks Nic!
like I said, the next round is September. I am furiously preparing documents, files, and all sorts of things. I want to be absolutely prepared. I actually hope to be filing more briefs against him by then.
( maybe I'll study to be a paralegal - learning so much now )
Son and I are going out for my birthday dinner and a movie tonight. I am *so* looking forward to that.
hugs to all
~jami~


--------------------
You will travel through the valley of rejection.
You will reside in the land of morning mists.
And you will find your home.
Though it will not be to where you left it.
Go to the top of the page
 
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nickclick
post Aug 10 2007, 07:49 AM
Post #935


Hardcore BUSTie
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Posts: 2,134
From: jersey


congrats! let him focus on coffeepots and beds. you will be prepared for the bigger stuff.
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jami
post Aug 9 2007, 11:39 AM
Post #936


Hardcore BUSTie
***
Posts: 1,281
From: I'm back to life in California


we won in court. big time.
judge did allow him to take my king size bed in trade for his twin (EW!!!!) which was a bad decision, but it's done. he was on the stand, wanting booze and a coffee pot. sheesh. we should be discussing our son and our property division, but he wants that blasted coffeepot.
he testified that he did one thing, then my lawyer had him admit that he actually did another. he can't keep his lies straight.
so now I am bracing for retalliation. never know what he'll do.
the next round is in september.
thanks for the good vibes
----------oh--------- and three other people have asked about the girlfriend being pregnant. she is not. she is just fat. I am told that she must have gained 40-50 pounds.
love to all
~jami~


--------------------
You will travel through the valley of rejection.
You will reside in the land of morning mists.
And you will find your home.
Though it will not be to where you left it.
Go to the top of the page
 
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snarky7
post Aug 8 2007, 06:19 PM
Post #937


Hardcore BUSTie
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Posts: 371
From: If I'm posting, I'm not at Zumba!


jami - how'd it go today????
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jami
post Aug 7 2007, 10:15 PM
Post #938


Hardcore BUSTie
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Posts: 1,281
From: I'm back to life in California


Typewriter - so sad to hear about Jack. truly. you sound so clear headed, you astound me.

tomorrrow is court for me, everyone. please send me your good vibes. so much sh*t he's throwing my way.
I hate to say it, but I am getting so tired. almost feel like giving up. almost. won't though. need to get out of here.

and on a happier note: HAPPY BIRTHDAY NICKCLICK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

~jami~


--------------------
You will travel through the valley of rejection.
You will reside in the land of morning mists.
And you will find your home.
Though it will not be to where you left it.
Go to the top of the page
 
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Typewriter
post Aug 7 2007, 04:53 PM
Post #939


BUSTie
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Posts: 15
From: Bedroom, Nowheresville, Canada



Wandering Jack and I split on Saturday night. Six days earlier, he was telling me how dedicated he was, how happy he was to be in a relationship with me. I'd spent a weekend at his apartment, fun and comfortable, and feeling - at last - as though I'd found a home. But then? No sign of him all week, and I cried and cried because I knew he was changing his mind. The commitment freaked him out ... Or else he did something bad and he's too cowardly to admit it ... Either way, he doesn't feel like I should be brought down by someone like him, and he encouraged me to walk away. Finally ... After eight months of nothing but love for him, I walked away.

sad.gif Broken heart!

My Moving On story is so pathetic compared to the seriousness of most in this thread, but Jack was my first. Nobody's ever torn me up like this. But then, I'm young. I guess there's a whole lifetime of total agony to look forward to.

Jami - I wish you the very best of luck with this mess. I wish I could offer you some kind of encouragement or advice, but in all honesty, I just believe that karma will get this guy in the end. He can't put you through such misery and not get what's coming to him. You're doing the right thing, fighting. I'm pulling for you in spirit.


--------------------
To thine own self be true.
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jami
post Aug 4 2007, 08:42 AM
Post #940


Hardcore BUSTie
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Posts: 1,281
From: I'm back to life in California


it will be at least six months till this is done. he's not turning in documents until my lawyer files against him in court. prolonging this. he wants me to be uncomfortable and just leave. but I will not leave without my son. and he's had court say that son cannot leave the state.
and if he files a certain paper in court - and he might - my lawyer will file against it - and everything in FROZEN for six months before we can go to court again about the divorce.
the next court date is next week.


--------------------
You will travel through the valley of rejection.
You will reside in the land of morning mists.
And you will find your home.
Though it will not be to where you left it.
Go to the top of the page
 
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