[buttercups]

Totally second what angie said DeeRayy, it sounds like she has no experience in this area and just does not get it. I would have felt awful too if thats what a counselor said to me. They are supposed to be challenging your beliefs about yourself, not reinforcing them. Maybe do a little research in your area about what psych specialties are around and find someone who specializes in issues with body image/self-esteem. That is the kind of person you really need to go to, if this woman as already done more damage I would suggest not going back and finding someone else local who knows what they're talking about.

[angie_21]

Jumping in to say DeeRay, if you aren't feeling a connection with this counsellor, it's considered totally OK to request someone else. The fact that she is making statements like that instead of taking it as a really problem (as any other body issue problem) bugs me. No one would say to someone with a body dismorphic disorder about being overweight, "I bet that makes it harder to shop for clothing." Really insensitive. If you want, give her a second chance, but I feel like maybe this is not her area of specialty.

[DeeRayy]

heyy guys,
just a quick update on the whole me going to therapy thing. The lady I went to at my school counseling center actually made me feel worse than when I came in! It was actually kind of an upsetting experience. I went ahead and told her why I came and we started talking about my issues with my breasts and why they affect me so much and she says this to me,
"I can see why it's such a struggle for you because often times breasts are what separates women from men."
Can anyone else see why this comment upset me?? I basically felt like she was saying I wasn't female. and i just kind of felt like she had a bit of a condescending tone. she also said things like ,"oh i would imagine it makes it harder to shop for clothing, doesn't it?." and in my head i kept disagreeing with her. idk, i'm really not feeling her, and i'm dreading going back. i don't feel like she's going to end up helping me.

but what do you guys think? am i just being too sensitive?

[strongirl]

Check out the Starz series "Spartacus"! There are two seasons, "Blood and Sand" (aired first but occurs later in timeline) and "Gods of the Arena".

I have to confess I am seriously addicted! And I am a lifelong non-TV watcher.

It is the most equal treatment of male and female nudity I have ever seen. And the male nudity - suffice to say it is WAY better than almost all the porn I've ever seen, where so many of the actors are just icky. We're talking full frontal, with gorgeous, buff hunks that can actually act, too.

Implants are not quite non-existant but almost, since of course they wouldn't have been around in ancient Rome. Breasts show a range of sizes and shapes.

You do have to have a stomach for violence to watch this show - I wouldn't recommend it for someone with delicate sensibilities. I've said to my bf that the show is a perfect cross between "Opera, Porn, and MMA Fighting", and he totally agrees.

Check it out - I'd be really interested in hearing y'all's opinions.

[karategrrl]

Oh, and speaking of the movie nudity, why is male nudity almost exclusively used for humorous purposes, i.e. the sloppy, hairy guy's ass, while female nudity is always for "hot" points? Doesn't anyone realize that girls watch movies, too? How about some nude Bradley Cooper or John Krasinski?? Let's make it fair and balanced, people! Haha

Grrl, I could have written this myself. Amen. Have you seen the first Sex and the City movie? I highly recommend it, evne if just for the scene with the guy "Dante," naked in the outdoor shower. And <are you sitting down???> they even show some of his penis, for like a fraction of a second. New Line Cinema actually allowed it. I wouldn't mind women's nudity in media so much if it were EQUAL, people!!!!!

Funny--the husband doesn't understand my thoughts on this--he lived in Europe for awhile and cites the nudity in TV commercials there, etc. as an everday thing. YET.....we watched the SATC movie and when the Dante scene came on he was like, "oh pleeease!!!" and was squirming around. It's not nudity that's perceived as no big deal...it's FEMALE nudity! Arggh!

PS: Bradley Cooper...hell yeah! I personally like Vin Deisel too. I'll watch any guy flick at all with him in it. You could turn off the sound for all I care (though I like his voice)...just let me gaze upon him...

[strongirl]

I vote for communication within a relationship but when and how can have an effect on the outcome.

Asking a very turned on guy "How do you like my little titties?" when you're sitting on top of him naked in bed will almost definitely elicit a very enthusiastic response.

But an outta the blue, tense "You like those better than you like my small ones, don't you? Be honest." while you're watching a movie and a large-breasted actess comes on...not so much.

There are really two separate issues - how you feel about them and how he feels about them. And as y'all pointed out below, how he feels cannot automatically change how you feel. No one can "fix" someone else's insecurities. But in a close relationship, I want my man to know what's important to me, how I feel about things, how to make me feel good...and I want to do the same for him. Even though there's still way more social pressure on women re. their looks, I can guarantee you that your man has his own insecurities about his body, whether it's his male member and its size or performance, the hair on his back, or his "love handles". In a secure relationship, both parties can help each other with reassurances, affection, and appreciation.

If there are any lurking guys reading this, take note: when I'm watching a movie with my man and a big titted actress comes on, he'll pull me close and grab my tits and say "These are the kind I like best!" or "Just so you know, those implants do not compare to your perfect little ones!" Stuff like that. I totally believe he is being honest and it does indeed make me feel good. And it pre-disposes me to make him feel good in return. Try it with your woman and enjoy the results.

[karategrrl]

The other was Megan Fox in Transformers 1. Yeah, those weren't nude scenes but still ridiculously over the top! *rolling eyes*

That was exactly who I was thinking of!!!! Yeah, in T1 she was bending over the hood in the mini skirt. In T2, it was her working in the car garage. Uh-huh, very realistic.

BTW, I work in marketing and read a great article about the marketing of Megan Fox as a sex symbol. They deliberately produce this rep of her as Hollywood's bad girl--to take the place of Angelina Jolie, who's now getting a little older and is now all Mom-like and settled down. Fox could never even touch Joile, as far as depth, though, in my humble opinion.

[nbdx0645]

Hi buttercups, you're thinking of Malin Akerman who played the Silk Spectre II in Watchmen.

Now that's what a real woman looks like!

You need to change your definition of what a real woman is. You need to include yourself because you are one, miss!

[buttercups]

Hi babyblue, welcome!! You seem to have revived our little forum lull yay!!

I'm pretty much the same age as you and about a 32AA, so like the other ladies on here I totally know how you feel. I have a great guy in my life too who has never said anything negative about my body, and just like DeeRayy said it has to come from within us. If we can't accept ourselves no comments our guys ever make will make our insecurities disappear, we have to find the way to do it ourselves, and this forum is a great place to start.

God if I only had hours to go on and on about movie nudity. It makes me soo uncomfortable and feel sooo bad about myself whenever I'm watching a movie with my bf and that inevitable hottie-with-huge-breasts naked scene comes on, I think I literally cringe. It makes me feel so embarrassed, like what is he thinking? Is he sitting there thinking why doesn't she look like that? What happened to her?? Now that's what a real woman looks like! Honestly, I will never know, but I did notice something awhile back that I found interesting. I thought that I would react this way to any female nudity when my bf is around, but I realized that I was completely fine on the rare occasions that the woman was more or less built like me. I remember one time we were watching the watchmen or something like that (not a movie i would necessarily recommend anyways hahahaha) and the "hot" woman in that movie, I can't remember the name of the actress, has very small breasts. I was prepared for the worst and then when the naked sex scene came and I saw that she more or less looked like me in that area, I actually wanted him to see it so maybe he would think " wow, there really are other girls out there that look like her". It didn't bring up any of those freaked out feelings in me. It happened again when we were watching the movie Splice and the chick in that movie was also really small up top. I never realized before that it wasn't my bf seeing naked women that made me so uncomfortable, it was him seeing women that I could never live up to. When they looked more like something that didn't make me feel like a complete freak of nature I was fine with it. I still feel uncomfortable when we watch scenes with big-breasted naked women together though, dont quite know how to deal with that yet.

DeeRayy, in regards to your question about whether or not you bring it up to guy, I have never been able to have a relationship yet where I didn't bring it up. It takes me awhile when I start a relationship to get comfortable enough to let a guy even go near me there, so I end up having to explain why at some point. I also think it's important when you are with someone you really love and trust that they know that this is something that you struggle with so that they will be sensitive to that and can work with you to make it better, or else you are always going to be hiding it. My bf and exes have always responded really well and been really understanding about it. They may not understand it, but they know that it bothers me and are then more willing to wait for me to take my shirt off in front of them or understand that sometimes when we're having sex I may not feel like being touched there if I'm feeling really self-conscious that day. What does everyone else think?

[DeeRayy]

I always thought that when I finally met a guy who appreciated my body type, my insecurities would melt away. Nope! They still pop up to say hello, to remind me that I'm "lacking." Of course, to think that any man's opinion would override my own is pretty ridiculous, no?

ahaha, i'm with you there! i used to think that if could only meet a guy who called me beautiful i would finally be at peace with myself. boy was i wrong! as soon as that happened, i still found myself struggling with my insecurities. i guess now i realize that the only opinion about your body that matters at the end of the day is your own, because no one can make you accept yourself.

but it's great that you found someone who appreciates you! i'm still waiting to meet a good guy [patience is a virtue, right?]

i think i already have a question for you babyblue (i'm a bottomless bag questions, you'll see haha). did you ever feel the need to reveal or discuss your insecurities about your breasts with your fiance? or do you think that is something you should keep to yourself?

what about everyone else? is talking about this with your guy a no no?

[babyblue]

Oh, and speaking of the movie nudity, why is male nudity almost exclusively used for humorous purposes, i.e. the sloppy, hairy guy's ass, while female nudity is always for "hot" points? Doesn't anyone realize that girls watch movies, too? How about some nude Bradley Cooper or John Krasinski?? Let's make it fair and balanced, people! Haha

[babyblue]

What a wonderful welcome! Thanks so much! I think this group may become my "happy place." My female friends (and two sisters) are of the larger-breasted variety, so it is difficult for them to truly understand my "booblet" (love it - LOL) related issues.
Some days, I feel just fine about myself, and some days I curse the mirror. My issues become less and less prominent as I've gotten older (I was a hot mess in my teen years), so Kera and DeeRayy, you will hopefully experience the same. You already have a huge head start on me just by discovering the "small BUST"-ies!
karategrrl, I feel you on the "having no choice" mentality when it comes to plastic surgery. Although we've rejected this idea for ourselves, it seems as if that is where the buck stops. Option A: Fake boobs. Option B: tiny boobs. Where is that middle ground in which we could magically wake up with an extra cup size? If only those "natural breast enhancements" actually worked... I always get a solid laugh when I see the D-cup chicks in the ads, flaunting their "enhanced" sets. Zero to Pam Anderson overnight! It's a miracle!
Still, although I'm engaged to a super sweet guy who has never spoken a negative word about my little ones (the last few girls he dated were all petite like me, so this seems to be his "type"), I feel no less frustrated than I did before I met him. I always thought that when I finally met a guy who appreciated my body type, my insecurities would melt away. Nope! They still pop up to say hello, to remind me that I'm "lacking." Of course, to think that any man's opinion would override my own is pretty ridiculous, no?

[KeraBear]

I do feel ya ladies on the breasts in movies thing. No, much of the time it does NOT advance the movie or is not relevent in any way. (When watching guy flicks with the hubby, I often have to laugh at plot "lines" like water pipes that suddenly burst and spray the white t-shirt of the female eye candy--and no one else, or one solitary female car mechanic--bending over a car engine wearing nothing but short-shorts, a tight tank and strategically placed grease--in a garage full of men, none of whom are leering or groping her. Yeah, right. <yawn.>

Ha ha... yes. THIS. Two examples come to mind when I read this. One was in an episode of "Chuck" where Sarah was fighting with this chick at a class reunion in the gym showers, accidentally breaking all these pipes and getting their shirts all wet and stuff. The other was Megan Fox in Transformers 1. Yeah, those weren't nude scenes but still ridiculously over the top! *rolling eyes*

[strongirl]

LOL, I too fell out laughing over that comment by Kera! Too frickin' funny!!!

[karategrrl]

I have a friend who's sister had surgery because her breasts were two different sizes. Not just a little like most girls, but like one was an A cup and the other was a C or bigger. That would seriously suck... but then I could post in both boobie support groups. LOL!

OMG, that was so awesome.

babyblue, WELCOME!! Hugs, hellos and booblet-shakes (like handshakes? Shit, I don't know what I'm writing, hahaha.)

Anyway, just wanted to extend a warm welcome. You'll find some great support (pun intended) here, and SOO many who share your ups, downs, and concerns.

I do feel ya ladies on the breasts in movies thing. No, much of the time it does NOT advance the movie or is not relevent in any way. (When watching guy flicks with the hubby, I often have to laugh at plot "lines" like water pipes that suddenly burst and spray the white t-shirt of the female eye candy--and no one else, or one solitary female car mechanic--bending over a car engine wearing nothing but short-shorts, a tight tank and strategically placed grease--in a garage full of men, none of whom are leering or groping her. Yeah, right. <yawn.>

I considered the implants for about 2 minutes until I did some internet research, and I, too, decided they are not for me--just gotta me me--ALL me. Though I do understand the frustration over feeling like maybe you have no other choice.

[KeraBear]

I just want to extend a giant virtual hug to all of you, and thank whoever started this group.

Hmm... you know what? I always thought it was Starship that started this group, but it turns out it was somebody named Star. From my historical research -- She founded this forum on April 30 2006 (Hey, celebrating 5 years of rocking small boobie hotness in just 10 DAYS!), made a grand total of three posts and... rode off into the sunset, I guess. I wonder if she ever dreamed it would have the stay power that it has?

It's certainly has wayyyyyyyyyyy more posts than the large breast support group, that is for sure. Not to say that those gals don't have their own challenges but I do think it speaks a lot to our culture or media messages or whatevs you know?

[KeraBear]

Hi ladies!

I can't tell you how excited I am to come across this group. I'm 27 years old, 4'11", 32A, and my small pair has been the bane of my existence for as long as I can remember! I am so insecure about my breast size that I am uncomfortable even watching movies with female nudity in them with my fiance. I would never admit this to him, but I want to melt into a puddle of embarassment every time a well-endowed woman appears on screen! I know how ridiculous this is, but I can't shake the feeling.
I had a plastic surgery consultation a few years back, but I swiftly decided not to go through with the procedure. Implants are a great fix for some people, but they're not for me! I just want to be comfortable in my own skin. I have trolled through enough posts on here to know that I am not alone, and it is such a relief! I just want to extend a giant virtual hug to all of you, and thank whoever started this group.

Hi!!!! And welcome! Be sure to go to the Newbies thread and introduce yourself.

I feel you on the nudity in the movies thing. Sometimes I wonder to myself... "really? Was that even neccessary to advance the story?!?" But then again, I also have an appreciation for the female body, so sometimes I do not mind. Just remember that of all the women that your fiance knows. He chose YOU. All of you. Yay!

Implants... yeah... definitely not for me either. I feel like if I did that I just wouldn't be pure, natural Kera. I just gotta be me! Although sometimes I wonder, if I woke up tomorrow morning with D cups, would I really be happy? Although maybe under extreme circumstances, I would go through with it... I have a friend who's sister had surgery because her breasts were two different sizes. Not just a little like most girls, but like one was an A cup and the other was a C or bigger. That would seriously suck... but then I could post in both boobie support groups. LOL!

But yeah, I've found that anytime I've had a bad body day (which is sort of often... high school. People are evil here), this place has been great place to go.

[DeeRayy]

welcome babyblue!
i just wanna say that i'm glad you found this page, it's really a great place to vent and seek out support. and i can already relate to a few of the things you've said. I'm also a girl that struggles with feelings about the size of my breasts, but I also know that implants are not for me and probably never will be for me. and I totally know the feeling you described about watching movies with well endowed women appearing nude. I've been there, and it's unpleasant! But you said you have a fiance so I can see that you're in a committed relationship, and if he's committed to you then you shouldn't really worry. I know that's easier said than done! and i'm in no way confident about my body either. If you read through my recent posts you'll see that I'm currently experiencing a really rough patch with my body issues. I'm only 19, so i'm really hoping it's just a phase. but this page really does help, and there are some amazing women on this forum!

hugs!

[babyblue]

Hi ladies!

I can't tell you how excited I am to come across this group. I'm 27 years old, 4'11", 32A, and my small pair has been the bane of my existence for as long as I can remember! I am so insecure about my breast size that I am uncomfortable even watching movies with female nudity in them with my fiance. I would never admit this to him, but I want to melt into a puddle of embarassment every time a well-endowed woman appears on screen! I know how ridiculous this is, but I can't shake the feeling.
I had a plastic surgery consultation a few years back, but I swiftly decided not to go through with the procedure. Implants are a great fix for some people, but they're not for me! I just want to be comfortable in my own skin. I have trolled through enough posts on here to know that I am not alone, and it is such a relief! I just want to extend a giant virtual hug to all of you, and thank whoever started this group.

[karategrrl]

I also have that breast shape/size where when I bend over, they look like little cones. I don't like it. But then I really dont' think anyone's boobs look great that way!