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> small breast support group - (I need it even if they don't)
starship
post Mar 16 2009, 06:26 PM
Post #2421


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QUOTE(KeraBear @ Mar 16 2009, 10:44 PM) *
Heh... Yeah, I even know some 6th graders who have out boobed me. *sigh* It's just not right...


haha i've been out boobed

wow edie that sounds awesome. id love the chance to see myself through someone elses eyes. cant wait to find out how it goes:)
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KeraBear
post Mar 16 2009, 05:44 PM
Post #2422


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QUOTE(starship @ Mar 16 2009, 02:32 PM) *
theres just something irksome about a child 'overtaking' me.


Heh... Yeah, I even know some 6th graders who have out boobed me. *sigh* It's just not right...
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edie52
post Mar 16 2009, 04:26 PM
Post #2423


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I'll take the "demi" top and the ruched bottoms, plz!

In other news, I'm about to go pose nude for some photos (nothing lewd, it's someone I know from school who is doing slightly abstracted full-body nudes- by abstracted I mean dancer-type body shapes, form a distance). Anyway, even though it's not supposed to be "sexy", I'm still nervous! Eek! But I believe in the cause and want to challenge my self-consciousness.
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starship
post Mar 16 2009, 01:32 PM
Post #2424


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QUOTE(KeraBear @ Mar 16 2009, 06:09 PM) *
Anyways, I am slowly reaching a point of accepting our differences and how we are both beautiful, but damn, swimsuit season sure does make it difficult to do that sometimes!


ah, im holidaying with some cousins this year. including 13 year olds who already have bigger boobs and look way older than me. hence choice of bikini being oh-so critical. it's strange because ive never felt bad about having smallers breasts than my older cousins, but theres just something irksome about a child 'overtaking' me.

ooh, gap do have some cute bikinis karategrrl. i dont think they deliver to the UK so ill have to check out the store next time im shopping

i remember alot of you knew quite abit about working out so i just wanted to ask whatsort of exercises would help me tone up abit without losing loads of weight. its the first time ive ever put a little weight on and i kinda like it but i could do with just firming up a tad ???
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loonydaray
post Mar 16 2009, 01:23 PM
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karategrrl! i love you for posting that swimsuit link! biggrin.gif
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KeraBear
post Mar 16 2009, 01:09 PM
Post #2426


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QUOTE(Allison-Shine @ Mar 12 2009, 09:53 PM) *
I know where you are coming from Aithinne...

As a slender, smaller-busted woman, I have been dealing with these issues for the past several years. It did not help matters much when my teenage sis (i'm now 23, shes 16) developed way beyond what I physically have (and this occurred 2-3 years ago). I'm not just talking breasts, but height and the curves that go along with what is considered "womanly and feminine".

Physically, I can blend in with 14-17 year old girls. It is good to look younger than your years but not to the point of where you are still thought of by many as a girl and not a woman. Its staggering to me sometimes how a girl can have an woman's body and vice-versa.


I totally feel you on this one! My lil sis is 14 and already rockin' the C cups! mellow.gif Not to mention hips. Me? I am short with a boyish figure. I had always a bit of a complex over this, which was further complicated when lil sis started her period before me. Because when you start your period, people are all like, "Congrats, you are a woman now" you know? Whatever.

Anyways, I am slowly reaching a point of accepting our differences and how we are both beautiful, but damn, swimsuit season sure does make it difficult to do that sometimes!
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karategrrl
post Mar 16 2009, 08:31 AM
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Hi ladies, forgive me if anyone's already mentioned this, but I just discovered swimwear from the Gap that has a lot of small-bust-flattering varieties of tops, and is also sold by bra size. I can't believe this is in a 36A, for example:

http://www.gap.com/browse/product.do?cid=3...&pid=625484

Here are more styles:
http://www.gap.com/browse/category.do?cid=...p;clink=1062460

And not all are padded, either!! And they're not crazy-expensive.

Enjoy swimwear shopping!
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karategrrl
post Mar 13 2009, 09:52 AM
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lightchested, I had "Dead or Alive" stuck in my head all day yesterday. Thanks a lot!!! HAHAHAHA! laugh.gif laugh.gif laugh.gif laugh.gif laugh.gif laugh.gif laugh.gif
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Aithinne
post Mar 12 2009, 09:40 PM
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I'm not surprised that we have so many topics to discuss on this small-breast forum. Since it is connected with feelings of femininity, desire, attraction, etc., I can see how the struggle or success in having small boobies can trickle into many other important areas of life. I like coming here because when I'm feeling down, you ladies slap me upside the head and show me how dumb I'm being (in a nice way, of course).. lol.

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Allison-Shine
post Mar 12 2009, 08:53 PM
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QUOTE(Aithinne @ Jan 29 2009, 03:34 AM) *
Hey ladies, forgive me for being off topic, but I stumbled on this site and had to talk about it, even though I think I've ranted about it before, it's still a topic that raises my hackles...

http://www.progressiveu.org/230819-skinny-v-curvy-girls
Found this website while surfing the net and loved it, agreed with a lot of it, except for the part where the author says that larger women don't ever get picked on. A lot of the comments on the article at the bottom were talking about how it is unequivocally more difficult to be a curvy woman than a naturally thin woman, but I don't know if that statement is true. We all have different experiences. For one woman (and I know from personal experience), being thin can be just as big of a confidence kill as being curvy would be for a larger woman. They are flip sides of the size coin, but I disagree that the two experiences can be compared. Everyone is different- what isn't a big deal for one person may be a huge deal to another.

At least curvy women are seen as womanly and feminine! Naturally thin and also small breasted women often feel like they can't claim a huge portion of their identity: being a woman. And I'm sorry, If you really think about it, feeling like a pubescent and not a woman, even though you are one, can be just as damaging as feeling like you aren't accepted for being larger. Both sides can feel like they will never be wanted and loved. The grass is NOT always greener.

And that is my rant for the day.


I know where you are coming from Aithinne...

As a slender, smaller-busted woman, I have been dealing with these issues for the past several years. It did not help matters much when my teenage sis (i'm now 23, shes 16) developed way beyond what I physically have (and this occurred 2-3 years ago). I'm not just talking breasts, but height and the curves that go along with what is considered "womanly and feminine".

Physically, I can blend in with 14-17 year old girls. It is good to look younger than your years but not to the point of where you are still thought of by many as a girl and not a woman. Its staggering to me sometimes how a girl can have an woman's body and vice-versa.
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karategrrl
post Mar 12 2009, 08:03 AM
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QUOTE(lightchested @ Mar 12 2009, 02:14 AM) *
They give you the benefit of the doubt at first, but once you establish yourself as a bad (or God forbid forgetful) tipper, your dancing becomes more and more "challenged" by songs that sound more like funeral dirges than whatever type of music you're actually into. To this day when I hear Bon Jovi's "Dead or Alive", I have a knee-jerk reaction to opt for "dead" (try figuring out how to "dance" to that song!), but then, thankfully, remember that I now have the power to turn that song OFF!

laugh.gif laugh.gif laugh.gif Bwahahaha!! You are so totally cracking me up!! laugh.gif laugh.gif laugh.gif

But seriously, Omigod. Ridiculous, having to pay off all those people for the "honor" of dancing nekkid/topless. <sigh.> But yeah, after that $100 (or whatever it is now) everything you made was gravy. And, as much as I don't agree with stripping, I admit I sure as hell have had my moments (brief ones, yes, but moments nonetheless) where I actually considered it. For mad money, who wouldn't?

Also, strippers also have to buy all their own outfits, shoes, accessories, implants (if they choose to get them) etc. They're tax deductions, but still, moulah out of your pocket up front. Yow.


Change of topic:
I was thinking this morning how amazing this forum is--okay, technically, it's the "small breast support group" but the breast size issue has connected to so many other issues/topics, and everyone has so many interesting insights. Though I may not always agree with others' opinions, I have a fascination with learning others' opinions. Even if don't change my mind, I really enjoy understanding why people feel the way they do.
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lightchested
post Mar 11 2009, 09:14 PM
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I wasn't afraid of being fired, mainly because, at least in the city I live/worked, strippers pay the establishment for the "right" to work there. I know this sounds crazy, but it's true. The "classier" the place, the higher the required tip-out. One fee goes to "the house" for providing a venue for the woman to "perform". (It's not just you...I'm gagging as I write this.) Then there is a mandatory tip to the DJ. I learned the hard way not to scrimp on this one: DJ's will play the exact songs you want when you're on stage IF you've been good to them. They give you the benefit of the doubt at first, but once you establish yourself as a bad (or God forbid forgetful) tipper, your dancing becomes more and more "challenged" by songs that sound more like funeral dirges than whatever type of music you're actually into. To this day when I hear Bon Jovi's "Dead or Alive", I have a knee-jerk reaction to opt for "dead" (try figuring out how to "dance" to that song!), but then, thankfully, remember that I now have the power to turn that song OFF!

Those are the two only fees you generally need to pay in a crappy bar. I don't know the going rates today, but about ten years ago, the house would charge between $60-$80, and you'd stay in good with a DJ if you gave him about $20-$30. And you have to pay the guy who walks you to your car. I forget what they call that guy. He gets about $5. He opens your car door if he's gunning for a tenner, but if he eventually figures out you're only good for five, he stops opening your door.

So the first hundred dollars a stripper makes per shift is for the "right to work there". It was always a great feeling when you realized you were out of the red, and any money you made for the rest of your shift, you'd get to take home. Yes, this is disgusting.

In "nicer" "establishments" (Someone made the comment earlier, and I agree, that "gentlemen's club" is an oxymoron. Even the bare word "establishment" is sickeningly sugar coated in my opinion.) But anyway, in nicer "establishments", you also have to pay a coat check girl (always a girl), and an agent that is thrust upon you. (Yes, an agent. Please.) If you do not come with your own agent, your fine establishment will supply one for you. LIke a court appointed attourney. An expensive salacious one.


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karategrrl
post Mar 11 2009, 03:21 PM
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Hey angie_21, hope it didn't come across that I was having issue with what you said--I wasn't. And I value yours and everyone's opinions here.

I should clarify that I haven't arrived at my feelings about porn/strip clubs/etc. from growing up Mormon or being frigid or anything (nothing against Mormons). Rather, I've gone through all that shit with many partners, and I've seen it--over and over--take on a pattern where it intensifies: you start with magazines but at some point they aren't enough--you need moving pictures and sound--so it goes up a level to porn movies. Then eventually that's not enough so it evolves into strip clubs b/c the guy has to have a real woman he can interact with. Then a "hands-off" woman isn't enough, so it goes a step further into cheating/threesomes/prostitutes etc. I was, at one time, pretty far off the deep end with all that shit with one partner in particular. I finally reached the point where I realized it had totally destroyed any semblance of trust. I tried like hell to get the trust back and on some level I feel he did want things to go back to the very loving, monogamous way they had once been, but it was too late. You simply cannot go backwards with some things.

Because I've experienced this over and over I'd be an idiot not to take note. I finally got married--something I'd always been somewhat afraid of--and I sure as shit am not willing to even take that kind of chance with my marriage. I care too much.

Marriage can be challenging enough without men saying it "ties them down" or there being so many ways men can quickly and easily get their nut off (sans wife) via cyberspace/strip clubs, etc. Marriage is supported economically in this country (U.S). but definitely not socially.
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angie_21
post Mar 11 2009, 01:49 PM
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QUOTE(karategrrl @ Mar 11 2009, 11:08 AM) *
Total double standard. My personal feeling, which I am entitled to, is that such places are a total slap in the face to marriage and encourage cheating and behavior that is disrespectful to women--the patrons' wives and the dancers.

* Much as people would like to think this isn't "sex," this is a sexual act called "frottage."

I just want to clarify that I was definitely not defending anyones actions by anything I said. I just taking a guess at might be what is going through their minds, and possibly explaining why they are there. I tried to do it without passing judgement, but my own opinion was expressed at the end where I stated that I do consider it cheating and would not stand for it if my SO took part in any activities at a strip club. I am not sure if this was clear or not. Why other women do stand for it boggles the mind. Why some men think it's alright to cheat, well, there are probably hundreds of reasons they use to justify it to themselves.

My understanding is that many strip clubs are a legally condoned place of prostitution, whether it involves actual intercourse in the private rooms or "just" sexal touching. And many probably aren't. But men and women both are never going to stop wanting sex, its one of our most basic and instinctive needs. Where do you draw the line between consentual sexual contact, with added benefits for the woman, and objectification and exploitation? It gets confusing because often what is happening is all of these things at once. There are obvious examples, if anyone is physically hurt or things become nonconsentual, but how do you define consent, anyways? Agreeing to do something is far different than genuinely wanting to.

QUOTE(karategrrl @ Mar 11 2009, 11:08 AM) *
I seriously doubt most men would really be alright with anyone doing any of that to their wives in any other social situation--whether the wife was paying for it or not.

In his fantasy world, mine would absolutely love it. Who knows what he would think in reality.
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karategrrl
post Mar 11 2009, 01:08 PM
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QUOTE(angie_21 @ Mar 11 2009, 03:28 PM) *
Were you afraid you would get fired for scaring away the customers?

I was also curious--did any patrons complain? did management say anything to you?

QUOTE(angie_21 @ Mar 11 2009, 03:28 PM) *
for a lot of men it is an acceptable form of "cheating" once they have been tied down to their wives

QUOTE(angie_21 @ Mar 11 2009, 03:28 PM) *
I think a lot of men do want to marry the smart, capable, and loving woman, but of course also want sexual gratification

I do have issue with these mindsets. If a man considers marriage as being "tied down," he has no business doing it in the first place. If he isn't getting sexual gratification within his marriage, that's a problem that should be addressed. (And if he can't feel "gratified" without objectifying a female stranger, he needs therapy.)

Go ahead and strike me down, but I feel so strongly on this topic I can't NOT comment. Many men feel they have a need or right to "get something" outside of marriage, and strip clubs provide just the right way for them to get it, since it's technically not "cheating" (they believe) unless they actually complete a sex act with one of the girls.

Not all strippers--but many--stick their breasts in the guys faces and allow the men to suck them; they rub the guy's dick through his pants (with her hand or by straddling him*); they touch him all over and he touches them all over. Other any other circumstances it would be wrong but because the guy is paying for it, it somehow becomes okay? I seriously doubt most men would really be alright with anyone doing any of that to their wives in any other social situation--whether the wife was paying for it or not. Total double standard. My personal feeling, which I am entitled to, is that such places are a total slap in the face to marriage and encourage cheating and behavior that is disrespectful to women--the patrons' wives and the dancers.

* Much as people would like to think this isn't "sex," this is a sexual act called "frottage."
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honeybunch
post Mar 11 2009, 11:50 AM
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QUOTE
But you can usually find one guy in each group- every time just one- who is uncomfortable being there, and feels bad about his significant other, as though he's cheating on her. He doesn't look around, and he doesn't get dances. ...They would look away the whole time.


God please send me that guy!
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angie_21
post Mar 11 2009, 10:28 AM
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Lightchested, you could probably get funding to write that as an anthropological study! It is so silly that we hide these things away, when so many women and men are a part of this industry, and it clearly does play a big role in our society. I think it is of huge importance to understanding martial relationships, women's rights, and basic human needs for love, sex, and affection (which are all tied together). You are clearly a strong person to actually have been able to say these things to the men there. Were you afraid you would get fired for scaring away the customers?

I think it is unfair to judge men for being there. Especially the lonely ones you talk about. As far as the married men, I am not at all surprised, and I think there are a lot of factors. one being that for a lot of men it is an acceptable form of "cheating" once they have been tied down to their wives, sometimes they don't even have to keep it a secret! But another is the old-fashioned idea of "lady on your arm but a slut in your bed." Getting into some huge stereotypes here... but I think a lot of men do want to marry the smart, capable, and loving woman, but of course also want sexual gratification, and maybe they think they can't respect their wives if they objectify them the way they do strippers, maybe sometimes their wives think the same thing. I have no problem with my SO objectifying me, so long as he respects me too, but sadly, sometimes it takes a pretty open mind to be able to combine these 2 things, or at least, it sure does where I come from... Maybe also their wives are too tired from raising children all day to be able to provide the gratification they want, which is where I start thinking, this is bullsh*t.

QUOTE(karategrrl @ Mar 11 2009, 06:25 AM) *
<sigh.> My dream man. sad.gif They DO exist.

They do exist, I live with one of them. My SO has had to go to bikini bars and strip clubs occasionally while on the road for work (what kind of assholes meet up at the strip club after a days' work to socialize with their co-workers? grr), bachelor parties, etc. Some small-town places in Alberta, they throw dollar coins at the girls, actually hitting them, and they have to pick them up off the floor after the dance. It is horrible, it made him feel sick, and he hates going to those kinds of places. He loves women, loves womens' bodies, and thinks they should be loved and respected at all times. The idea of having to pay for a woman's atention makes him pretty sad, and he doesn't understand why some men actually seem to be proud that this is the only way they can get a girl to look at them. He would never get a lapdance and knows I would consider it cheating (unless we were in vegas and I was there lol... but we would have to know somehow that we were at a place where the girls were not being mistreated so I dunno if that will be happening) Anyways, I am a lucky girl.
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karategrrl
post Mar 11 2009, 09:24 AM
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forgot to mention before--
lightchested, I have to fess up and say that I was much more willing to hear you out about the stripping because:

1. I already knew through your posts that you were very intelligent and already had made lots of good contributions
2. Your post was so brutally honest and you made no excuses
3. Your motivation to work as a stripper was to "blow it out from the inside" and even as you did it you asked thought-provoking questions of the men, didn't force the shy ones into dances, etc. Even in the midst of it, you showed class.

I must admit I wouldn't have been so open to what you had to say otherwise.
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karategrrl
post Mar 11 2009, 08:25 AM
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QUOTE(lightchested @ Mar 11 2009, 03:39 AM) *
The ones in groups tend to be boisterous and misogynistic.

I HAAAAAATE that behavior. That has to be one of the earliest things I ever learned--that men act like dickheads in groups. It's like their collective IQ goes down as their numbers go up. Early on, I learned to AVOID like the plague men in groups if I wanted to be left alone and not harassed.

QUOTE(lightchested @ Mar 11 2009, 03:39 AM) *
But you can usually find one guy in each group- every time just one- who is uncomfortable being there, and feels bad about his significant other, as though he's cheating on her. He doesn't look around, and he doesn't get dances. ...They would look away the whole time.

<sigh.> My dream man. sad.gif They DO exist.
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neurotic.nelly
post Mar 10 2009, 11:17 PM
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Well, I feel like the odd woman standing out of the crowd here. I am a pro-sex, pro-sex industry feminist. Not that anyone here does, but, I do not hate men, and do not do a lot of male bashing, as I believe that as women, we all have our own demons or skeletons or psychology to deal with if anything in this world is going to change. /end rant.

I am, however, interested in hearing more from lightchested, it sounds like it is going to be good! I'll have the popcorn ready.

I became briefly acquainted with a stripper who once was a teacher and was going back to school for her master's degree, so she stripped to pay for school. She was a woman of privilege on almost every level. The thing about her that I found confusing was that she seemed to take her job home with her. Like she always seemed to be "on" if you get my drift. It was weird.


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