[prettynpink]

I hate being away for two days during the week. So much happens!

(((((bebes))))) The loss of a life is so incredibly hard, especially when that life hasn't had a chance to be one yet. She will come back as our first female president. The world is just not ready for her dynamic personality yet. In other words, there is always a reason for what happens. It may not make sense, and it quite often hurts like hell, but things will work out.

I heart smoking bans. You cannot smoke within 25 feet of the entrance of a business in Washington. YAY. Going to the bar is lovely now.

I do like the taco stands in San Diego, however, if a taco stand was in front of my house, I would not be very nice... not. at. all.

Bunny, you will pass. dont worry about it. My brother took it 5 times before he passed.... I dont like to ride with him....

So. I've had an interesting few days. Warning: Detailed, LONG post ahead.

Tuesday: I'm getting my hairstyle done to test it for the wedding day. While in the chair, I'm telling her about the fuck up on Monday on the part of the Chapel. Speaking of the devil, my phone rings. I shit you not:
"Well, the Chaplains Office doesnt have your paperwork. You must not have turned it in. We dont have it."
"Bullshit. You do too. I faxed it to them, then called a half hour later to confirm that they had it. They READ it to me. DONT tell me that we didnt turn it in"
"Oh, well we dont have it at all and their office says they never received it. You're going to have to resubmit it"
"Thats bullshit. That office has it. They LOST it."
"You're going to have to call them"
"Fucking wonderful." I hang up.

I proceed to call Future Mother In Law. She is PISSED. She proceeds to call her husband who is a retired Senior Chief in the Navy. He dusts off his anchors and makes a few phone calls.
Suddenly MY phone is ringing for Senior Chief Irishdad. "No, this is his future daughter in law"
"oh, I am soooooo sorry ma'am" about 20 times, in varying styles and such, "Your wedding and rehearsal date are secure" and "Its my fault as office manager" and so on and so forth...

It wasnt so much kissing my ass... because it was rather moist... I think there was licking involved.
Either way, Irishdad pulled rank and kicked butt.

We saw Bridezilla and the rarer species of Future-Father-In-Law-Zilla on Tuesday.

Wednesday: I get up at 8:30, go to my appointment at Planned Parenthood at 9:15. Didn't get violated until 10:05 after sitting in the lovely paper dress in the cold exam room for 25 mintues without so much as a head peaking in to let me know that they were running late. Yeah. Not happy. Irishboy has an appointment 30 minutes away at 11.
Booked it home to pick him up to take him to his appt., get there, he finishes up, and we head to the chapel to give them the paperwork. They got snippy, I got snippy, they apologised, I smiled and nodded.
Then we went to his parents house, and everyone was hot tempered. FUN.
Irishboy drank with his brothers even though he was supposed to be DD for me, as its my best friend's 21st bday week. GRRR
Anyway, we went to the bar, had a BLAST. I had to take BF home with me cause she was in no shape to drive. On the way home, because he was angry at a friend of his, Irishboy starts to take his temper out on me, calling me names and being a general shit, with my BF in the car. I was beyond angry. We went to J in da' B and got food, where he was rude to the people there. I got on his case about it, then took him home and left him in bed while BF and I sat and enjoyed ourselves in the living room.
I come back into the bedroom and there are hambuger droppings ALL OVER my side of the bed.

Today:
4:30 am
Told Irishboy after I dropped him off at the ferry and he called me, that I refuse to deal with his behavior and if he would like to tell his parents and mine how they wasted all that money on a celebration that isnt going to happen because he cant treat me with respect, by all means, he can continue acting that way. I explained to him, in detail that what he did was unacceptable and that I refuse to live like that because I dont deserve it, and nor do I want to raise children in an environment like that. I dont want my children afraid of Daddy cause he's had a few too many. He was crying on the other end of the phone. Said he's sorry. That he cant live without me. I told him that while it would completely break my heart, I CAN live without him. I dont want to, but I sure as hell will if this continues. He has a chance to fix it, because I know that he can behave himself and I know I dont want to spend my life with anyone else.

8:45 am
he leaves a message on my phone apologizing, saying I love you and saying that he's afraid that I'm not coming home to him tonight.

10:30am
Get phone call that he's had a panic attack in the middle of the OR. His first one ever. Tell my bosses, get off work, drive all the way around to seattle (hour and a half drive) to pick him up and bring him home. Put him to bed and went back to work at 2:30. (before any conclusions are jumped to, no it wasnt an attention thing. it really was a true panic attack)

*big sigh*

Can life just leave me alone? Just for a smidge? I just want a plain old boring nonstress day.
That would be nice.

[pollystyrene]

Am I the only one here who passed the driving test on my first try? *dodges rotten tomatoes*

[roseviolet]

You are more than welcome ((((Yuefie)))) And I love that you have that image as your avatar now! "No Pie?!?" A tragedy, indeed!

Mandi, I'm so so glad you had such a wonderful phone call with your cousin. I'm sure it made her feel loads better.

Anoushh, is your pedicure tomorrow? I forget. As for the driving tests ... there is a certain type of personality that works at the DMV. I think it was a pure stroke of genius when the writers of The Simpsons decided to make Patty and Selma work there.

Hooray for sales! And postcards! Hope the gallery show goes well, Amilita.

How's the tummy, Bunny-hunny?

((((Mornington)))) 'Cause I feel like giving you a snuggle.

Funnybird, are you out there or still busy writing?

((((more hugs for DM & the Mr.))))

Sapphy, I forgot to say earlier that it was good to hear from you. Here's hoping your loved ones continue to improve.

Pixie, I forgot to mention something to you on the phone! Remember Talulah, the cute sheep that you bought for me, like, 10 years ago? Well, my old college buddy actually asked me about her this week. What do you think it means when your old friends inquire after your stuffed animals?


Kvetch: I felt too ill to go out with Whino and friends. Bleh.

Anti-kvetch: She was super sweet about it. She even asked if I needed anything because she knows I live a little ways out in the country. So sweet!

[sidecar]

(((kim and babies))))

I also failed my first driving test. I had to retake the written test when I moved to my state, and I got three wrong, but I passed. (and rose, you're not the only one who cried when she found out!)

(((((mando))))) your cousin truly appreciates it. trust me.

((((random sparkly hugs to all and sundry)))))

[yuefie]

I don't really have any news and I'm too drained to kvetch properly, so I just wanted to say thanks for all the vibes and hugs. BUSTie vibes are truly the best.

[mandolyn]

(((kim))) & (((milla))) we're all pulling for you, sweetpeas. pooled bustie vibes are a wondrous majik indeed.

i totally tear up, just thinking of what they're feeling.

(((yuefie))) (((yuefiesis))) (((yuefieniece))) (((PJ)))

(((amilita))) i haven't been thru your year, but the inconsideration of the taco brigade would still make blind with rage.

(((bunny))) my favorite biatch. (and you know very well i can see your biatch and raise you four.)

"... we all have those "nobody loves me!" moments. I know I do." i don't. nuh uh. never.

rogue html code. sounds like a killer band name to me. hee.

antikvetch: i've been putting off calling my cousin, for a week now. didn't want to make anyone cry, in case they were momentarily "ok", the whole "i don't know what to say" syndrome. but i knew i had to call tonite. it's been a week. and we just had the best conversation. we laughed. we cried. i don't know what made me forget, the thing grieving people DON'T need is to be treated with kid gloves. or avoided. they need to laugh. they need to cry. they need to talk. they need to know you care.

seriously. how could i forget that? maybe because i'm too immersed in my own pity party. idjit.

(((group hug)))

[anoushh]

When I was a teenager I failed my driver's test three times. I may have had the same examiner for at least one of those tests as you did, Rose.

I distinctly remember thinking, when I finally passed (and I took nearly a year break to get over it eventually) "At least I'll never have to do that again!" ANd of course I moved to the UK and did have to do it again. Passed on my first try then (but failed my first theory test, only passing the second time) and was later told that particular examiner was really mean and tough, so sort of felt vindicated. But I spent a lot of money on driving lessons just trying to get over that fear of being tested and learning to take the test. It was so frustrating having been driving for 20+ years and going through that again.

I had a cororker who moved from Malaysia and had to retake her driver's test. Last time I spoke to her she was trying for the 3rd or 4th time.

$12.50 for the perfect comforter is a huge score!

I have mixed feelings about surrogacy, but what a terrible thing for Kim, babies, and everyone to be going through. Best wishes for everyone. Yufie, don't forget to take care of yourself, too.

(I don't understand the appeal of Beck, personally. But I too still have that issue....)

[amilita]

(((More for Bunny))) And I forgot, but I failed my first test, too! The driver's part. I can totally understand feeling frustrated.

~~~cramps be-gone~~~ for Rosev

(((Kim))) Please keep us updated, Yuefie. Those babies were more premature than I remembered. Sending lots of good thoughts...

Anti-kvetches:

I found a comforter in just the right terra cotta color on major clearance at Target for 12.50!

And we picked up the postcards for our group show and they are kick ass!

(((everyone)))

[roseviolet]

((((((((((((Kim & Milla)))))))))))) That dear woman. My heart goes out to her and to the whole family. Keep providing up-dates, Yuefie.

Bunny, I failed my first driving test. When I'm nervous, I have trouble telling my right from my left, so I made a wrong turn. The tester made me pull over and asked me to raise my right hand (I did). And then told me to raise my left hand (I did). Then he snarkily asked, "Think you can keep that straight for the rest of the test?" I burst into tears. I was humiliated ... until I found out that most of my friends had to take the test twice! It's far more common than you might think. So just take today as a great learning experience. You're sure todo much better next time. ((((Bunny))))

((((((((all of you))))))))

Suddenly feeling more crampy. And I'm supposed to go out with Whino later. Uuuuugggghhh. At least this means I'm not pregnant, though. Gotta look on the bright side.

[hobbles off in search of ibuprofen]

[yuefie]

amilita, the babies were born at about 31 1/2 weeks. She was hospitalized at 30 weeks because she had begun to dilate. They then told her she would be on complete bed rest for the forseeable future as they were trying to make it to at least 36 weeks.

My sis just called to ask me to please pick my niece up instead of coming up there. This morning they told Kim they needed to do an MRI. She has been suffering from bad headaches, nausea and running a fever the past couple of days and they've been giving her antibiotics. Apparently they came in to tell Kim that they now need to do a second MRI. She said from the nurses demeanor it's clear they are very concerned, and they are now waiting for the doctor to come in to speak to them. Kim is in a total panic meltdown and my sis, of course, does not want to leave her side at all. So I am off to pick my niece up and to deliver the sad news to her. Any vibes you can all spare would be ever so greatly appreciated.

(((((mandi)))) for all the love, always.

((((bunny))) ugh, drivers tests are the worst. just thinking about taking one makes me shiver & my tummy ache. I had such massive test anxiety that I put off getting my drivers license for a *very* long time. And it wasn't that I couldn't drive or had that much driving anxiety (I did have that too and still do), it was actually the test taking I couldn't handle. I did the written portion several times with any problem, but the behind the wheel part, I would keep cancelling my appts. Don't me too upset or hard on yourself, you'll do better next time.

((((anoushh)))) *extra huggin's*

(((((luci)))) what bunny and anoushh said. (I still have that issue of BUST with Beck on the cover)

(((((kvetchies)))) my love to you all

[bunnyb]

thanks (((anoushh))), as for no-one loving you: I so wanted to give you individual attention in my last post for being so sweet and forgot so sorry and here's a post just for you!

[anoushh]

Hey, driving tests suck and so does low blood sugar.

And we all have those "nobody loves me!" moments. I know I do. It's ok.

((Bunny))

Therapy is an investement in yourself, which I think is a good investment to make.

[bunnyb]

*drags self in sheepishly*

sorry for being a biatch earlier, I was disappointed and still really tired (I also hadn't eaten at all at that stage). I know that you vibe in your heart and you think of kvetchies during the day just like I do. Group hug? anyway, I was annoyed with myself but booked again for Wednesday! I aced the hazard perception which at least proves I can drive but sucked at the multiple choice (there were insurance and ecologically friendly Qs in there!)

(((kim, zoe and milla))) that is so, so sad. T (stepdad) was a twin and his died at birth, he has his name as his middle name. Although, boy's mama told me really uplifting story recently of someone who miscarried (for the third time, I think) after several rounds of IVF treatment and was devastated and was going to take time out when they discovered another heartbeat - it had been twins and one survived . Kim has done a beautiful thing no matter what and the parents will be delighted at having a child, it's horrible though that it has to be tinged with sadness. (((yuefie)))

(((amilta))) that's natural when depressed - I can be fine and coping/coasting along happily and then bam something happens -big or small- and it sends me over the edge. Like work. You're making progress and you're back working so baby steps, k?

(((luci))) same applies to you. No shame in therapy either. Doc suggested counselling to me this time as anxiety not helping the depression and may as well since work are paying for it!

funnybird, how did today go? thinking of you and I'm open to proof-reading if you want me to/have time before submitting/need fresh eyes.

(((sapphy))) glad things are improving!

(((mornington, sidecar, mandolyn, raisingirl, sixelacat, sybarite, dusty, roseviolet, pixiedust, polly designermedusa, tempest, crassy, fina, faith, txplumwine, tesao ....)))

[amilita]

(((Bunny)))
(((Kim, Zoe and Milla))) So, so sad. They were how many weeks along, Yuefie? Wasn't it like 34 weeks or something? I remember it wasn't super premature.
(((Luci))) Ain't no shame in therapy, girl. Just shows you care about self-improvement and getting what you need. And I remember that Beck cover, too!

Yay for f-i-l, Sapphy!

One thing I learned about myself this week is that although I am feeling so, so much better, I have almost no coping reserve. That taco trailer thing was really throwing me off...it's like, I just want things to be OK for a little while. I can't deal very well with much. When I left the house earlier, the lady came over and told me they would be moving tonight and that there would be no more generator today...and so far, so good.

I definately haven't been vibing as well as I could in writing, but I'm keeping up reading and vibing everyone in my heart and head, at least!

I've been really getting some things done, including talking to some important friends on the phone who I have been neglecting for most of the year. It feels really good, but I still feel a little overwhelmed with it all and trying to make up for the last year of depression and turmoil is a lot. We also have our first group art show in our gallery coming up on Oct. 14th...we have SO MUCH to do to get ready, but I think it's going to be good.

[sidecar]

((bunny)) sorry to hear about the test (and this is the first chance I've had to log in all day.)
(((yuefie's friend and the babies and their family))) that is so sad.

btw, polly, my skin is dry, pale, and sensitive, and i find prescriptives stuff much better. when i wore foundation, that's what i used, and that's the tinted moisturizer i wear now. it's $30 but it'll last you a year. the shade's lighter than clinique's too.

sapphy, that's great news! what a relief for all of you.

back to cleaning up rogue html code. blah. i'm starting to see everything in tags now.

[anoushh]

Bunny--yes you did! And just b/c people don't write on here doesn't mean they aren't thinking it.

That test is crap. I've been driving for 20+ years and I failed it the first time. I know it sucks, but next time will be better.

Was just thinking of Sapphy last night. Glad to hear there's some good news!

(((Yufie and everyone))) It is sad.

[yuefie]

The babies were named Zoe and Milla, Zoe didn't make it due to a brain hemorrhage. Milla was seemingly the weaker of the two, and isn't doing so well now either. They just seemed to be doing well and gaining strength but then Milla started having problems and Zoe suddenly died. It's all so sad

[mandolyn]

(((yuefie))) that's so so sad. sending a ton of copage vibage westward.

(((lucizoe)))

(((rose)))

(((bunny))) so sorry i didn't send you the vibes. i feel hella guilty.

(((mornington))) you fixed my phones! thank you! (but bossman drove me batshit crazy all day. god he can be such a fucking pain in the ass.)

i'm so upset about the baby. can you imagine growing up without your twin? my grandma was a twin, and her sister died at birth. talk about survivor's guilt.

[roseviolet]

((((((((Bunny)))))))) So sorry, honey bunny. I would have vibed if I'd been in here earlier. So sorry that things didn't work out.

((((((((((((Kim and the adoptive parents))))))))))))

Kvetch: Headache. Bleeding. Bleh.

[mornington]

((((bunny))))
(((kim)))