[humanist77]

confession: I think my bf's brother is hot. He's not my type, but I always have to stop myself from flirting with him. Or staring at him. And drooling. They look very similar really, except his brother has a more boyish face, and he is lean and well built. I can imagine that most ladies his age find him very attractive, so these are just natural instincts. I can't help it!

[mivee]

(amen, doodlebug)

I am leaving town in 5 days and i am sitting in my pjs doing this (even delurking for once!) instead of completing The List. I have packed nothing!
So my confession is that i am a procrastinator and can't be left to my own devices ...

[doodlebug]

I never followed the JonBenet Ramsey case. And I still don't really give a shit.

I wish the media and the public cared 1/1,000th as much about all the victims of child and youth sexual exploitation in the world.

I wish the media and the public cared 1/10,000th as much about all the victims of child abuse in the world.

I wish the media and the public cared 1/100,000th as much about all the victims of child poverty in the world.

[sassygrrl]

((luci))

Ms GB, I'm still not over my dog's death. And, it's been over 6 years.

[ms.gb]

(((luci)))

i'm still not over my dogs death and i don't know how long its gonna take to heal.

[lucizoe]

I just bought a really campy television series on DVD. I justify my love for these things because I like seeing what people do with production values when they have a teeny budget. But mostly, I love the bad jokes.

As school approaches I find myself second-guessing everything I've ever done. I live this loop inside my head which is perpetually saying "You fucked up when you left that college, you'll never amount to anything, you'll be financially dependent on Mr.Luci forever and everyone thinks you're a pathetic tool for that, you're ugly and fat and uncreative, you're stupid for thinking you have any artistic talent whatsoever, you've destroyed your potential with years of stagnation and everyone in your program will secretly think you're stupid and pathetic and old." Really hateful stuff. But I'm not cutting anymore, so I guess that's positive.

[typicalgrrl]

Feeling really guilty because my partner's mother died and I'm not at all sad about it because she was just a shade lighter than evil and was super manipulative.

Also, have just eaten about six brownies and haven't offered to share with anyone.

[sybarite]

I would keep my job if I won the lottery, but as I'm writing a thesis fulltime at the mo' the word 'job' may not apply... I'd buy a house with my own study though!

I can be extremely lazy and have come to realise that I work best under pressure, when I get shitloads done. This scares me as there aren't enough fires under my ass to get this thesis done quickly!!

I worry that I have chosen academia as a career to facilitate this laziness.

I yearn for greater material comfort even though I have not taken any of the steps to achieve it.

[doodlebug]

When I hear people say they'd keep their jobs even if they won the lotto, I inwardly roll my eyes and think they're full of shit. Even in my job where I've been dedicated to a cause with all my heart, I still would have walked away cheerfully if the jackpot ever landed in my lap.


I wish I had samosas right this very minute.

[wombat]

I confess I am a big old doodyhead.

There! I said it!

[opheliathemuse]

I am having continual dreams about being sexually threatened or molested by my father, and occasionally someone else.

[anna k]

When I was 13 I was really depressed and miserable and out of my mind. I had rape fantasies and wanted to run away at 16 to be a hooker/street kid and lose myself in anonymity. Luckily I got put into therapy and Paxil and become healthy. But sometimes I think about what my life would've been like had I actually run away.

That's why I'm fascinated by peoples' stories of being runaways, teen strippers, drifters, vagabonds, etc. It's the life that I am fascinated by but haven't lived because I like money and security.

I also wanted to be a slutty groupie and tour around with bands and be a wild untamed tigree with an insatiable sexual appetite.

[crazyoldcatlady]

i want to do a shit load of drugs, smoke cigarettes, drink relentlessly, hang out/sleep with/ be a muse of a "deep" but psychicaly tortured artist, have some sort of creative job that pays the bills/for the drugs that doesn't require normal business hours, and have relatives be concerned that i'm too skinny/sleep too much/generally living too fast and too hard.

this is what i fantasize about in the down time of my straight-laced social life and "white collared", well-paid but creatively devoid profession.

[wombat]

Ha! That's why I love you, pepper.

But really, from FAMILIES LIKE OURS, being average required huge amounts of work and vigilance and resilience.

It wore out my tolerance for "poor little me" effed-up exploiter types, though.

Go ahead and try to cheese out of following the same rules the rest of us have to follow, is what I feel like saying to THEM, you try to smirk and act like you're big and bad, but I know where that's going to get you.

Oh, yeah.

They think my avoiding them is a weakness.... of mine.... just don't want any of it to splash on me when they hit the fan. "You won't SAY anything cause you're too NICE" *smirk, gloat* "Ha ha"

Oh, yeah, that's why. mm hm. Just go right on, go go go. I'll be over here staying out of... ALL of your... self-imposed, self-destructive trouble.

That sleaze is gonna blow up in your face -- the way I know it has before.

[agent_wasabi]

i was at a coffee shop in my hometown this weekend, and saw a picture of an ex posted as part of a photo collage on the bulletin board. lusty nostalgia washed over me, and i momentarily contemplated leaving a note for him (because i know he visits that coffee shop often; he's close friends with the owner), even though i'm married and it would've been a stupid thing to do.

[anna k]

Same deal here. I think about sex a lot, yet don't want to have it randomly.

[culturehandy]

I am very horny. This is bizarre, it seems like I can't have enough sex. All I want to do is fuck my brains out. I do not know what to do about this. my play things just aren't doing it for me, and I don't want to have random sex. This is a real problem for me. Fuck.

[pepper]

confession:
i'm tempted to start an 'average girl' thread. well, several really.
'average sized boobs', 'what i'm wearnig is really... meh', 'i cooked an average meal', 'my house is so-so', 'at least my plants aren't dead'. you know.

sigh, sometimes i feel so exhausted from trying to keep up with myself.

[anna k]

I am really dreading returning to school

I hate school too. I transferred two years ago and lost credits, so I've had to do a ton of classes to finish up. I've taken a winter classe and three summer classes in addition to my fall and spring classes, and have to do another year of school to graduate. I'm lucky to have my parents and grandparents' money for tuition, but I hate being nearly 23 and seeing my peers from my old school graduate and live with their friends while I finish school and live in a hotel in NYC. I'm itching to leave and start my post-college life. I also repeated a grade as a kid because of a learning disability, so I feel sick of being in school.

[raisingirl]

I hate doctors and I hate hospitals even more than doctors.

My dentist was a gay guy who would talk about John Waters movies with me while he examined my mouth. That was fun! But then he had to go be an ass and stop accepting any and all insurance, so I have to find a new one now.

My confession is that I signed up to go to an alumni event for my college. When I signed up for it, I thought, oh cool, I should have done this years ago, I hope there are some people there that were in my graduating class. And now as the day is approaching, I'm secretly hoping that I don't know anyone there. I have very mixed feelings about becoming reacquainted with my old college friends. Sometimes I want it, sometimes I don't. And I still haven't called the parents of the one friend who I dearly miss. Their phone number is the same as it's always been. I have it written down here at my desk and I don't know how long it's going to be before I pick up the phone and talk to my friend's parents with the hopes that I get to see my dear old friend again. I don't want her to think I'm some psycho stalker former friend or someone who can't let go of the past or whatever. Then again, maybe she's wishing that we were friends again, too. It's hard to read the mind of someone I haven't talked to or heard from in several years. I secretly hope that she and her husband aren't together anymore; none of her college friends liked him because we all knew he was a manipulative jerk. I fear calling her house, only to get him on the phone or leaving a message on the machine that I know she'll never get. He'll intercept the call like he always did for her college friends, never tell her that I called, and then I will still be left wondering what the hell happened.