[karategrrl]

KeraBear, I'm so glad you found this place. Be my little sister?? <<hug>>

To answer your question, it had to be about in 6th grade when I really became aware of the breast issue. One girl in my class had BREASTS. I remember one boy complaining, "All the girls in this class are flat-chested." (I guess he forgot the busty girl in that moment of dumb-assedness. But I digress...)

I got my period during that year but managed to fly under the radar, so to speak, b/c of being small chested, which was good--I was totally a tomboy, not comfortable with my body, and could not have handled any extra male attention. (Might I comment here how sick it is that teens and men in their 20's were being total pervs to me during this time??!! Must have had that Lolita look or something. Ew.)

Things really got noticeable in junior high, when suddenly it seems just about everyone around me was busting out (pun intended). A definite low point was being at a party and the "cool" girls were comparing boob size. I lost my guy-crush that evening to the girl with the biggest.

I'm 40 now, so that was in the early 80's. Breast implants were very, very new and it was, like, celebrities that got them--not your soccer-mom next-door neighbor, like it is today. So I never considered that until much, much later, which is fortunate, b/c in my mid-20's I started really blossoming, getting athletic and body-comfy, loving the bod for what it could do rather than how it looked, though I did get some awesome compliments. It's only gotten better and better since then. Which is not to say I don't always notice my small chest when I look in the mirror, but lately I look at my boobs, kind of look at them as part of the whole body, and say, "Okay, I guess I look pretty good." So I've considered implants, but after about 5 minutes of looking at melon-half/bolt-on "after" photos and photos of implants gone awry, I concluded that I like my own much better than anything I could buy, thank you very much.

I was a kid in the 70's, during the time strongirl described, and I remember the braless/polyester peasant blouse look. I just missed the boat, though, b/c when puberty hit, it was the beginning of the plastic surgery craze we now know. <sigh.>


I totally second spot-on's comments about posture. Also, maybe just reminders during the day--set your iPhone to beep or whatever--to increase self-awareness. I look SO MUCH better with good posture and have told folks to TELL ME if they see me slouching!!! Thanks for the reminder!!

Geej, I have rambled!! sorry!

[KeraBear]

It wasn't really like that when I was your age (in the 1970's). Being thin was the ideal and going braless was the fashion, so as a slender girl with small, pert breasts I thought I was quite lucky!

Dag yo... i totally grew up in the wrong decade... that must've been pretty sweet.

I also wished I got the attention girls with breasts had. It's similar to that feeling when you're a kid, and all the other girls are being chased -- but you aren't. Aww.

I hear that. For the longest time, guys treated me like their little sister. SOOOO annoying. Thank GOd for my growth spurt!

[spot-on]

I'm beginning to think I'm the only person who didn't get bigger boobs when they went on BC! Lol! I've been on a few different types and not one has changed my boob size!

Which BE product did you use? An online friend of mine has reported good things about fenugreek supplements. I may try it I dunno. Has anyone else tried any natural breast enhancement products?

I think I'm secretly hoping that when I go back on BC they'll change. I also tried a bust-enlargement program. The swelling was temporary, and after one month my breasts didn't fit my bras...the bras were too big. Maybe I lost weight? I don't know. I stopped the regimen. I still have a bunch of pills in my closet. The bras I ordered from Urban Outfitters (the triangle-style ones) were too big. I'm not surprised. I'm tired of letting all these memories bother me.

[spot-on]

Kera, basically I ditto everything Strongirl said. Boob size was never an issue for me until about 10 years ago, I was happier then. Then implants became the 'norm' for smallies to switch to and I got left behind in the a/b cups. I started my period around age 11 (yeah so not fun!) and my boobs started to grow around age 12/13 and promptly stopped a year later. There were plenty of small busted girls in my school, probably the opposite of todays schools I think. The bigger boobed gals got picked out in our day because they were the oddballs. I knew at age 14/15 that my boobs were done and I wasn't gonna take after my Mom. And after seeing her naked I was kinda glad, forever small, forever pert! My Moms are big but dayum they are around her midriff!!! No offense to the bigger endowed gals but sure I'd like mine a little bigger but not so big that they sink around my navel! My Mom takes after my Gran who is also well endowed and also has saggy boobs. I hindsight things could be worse, no way I could do my job with boobs like my Mom!

Strongirl- Posture: hey I'm a personal trainer, if you want posture exercises I'm your gal! Computers have been pretty bad for lots of peoples postures, my husband works in front of a computer all day so I see it first hand. Corsets won't help. There was a 'band' that fit around both shoulders but that wasn't proven much use either. I tried one of those kneeling chairs and though it did improve my posture whilst at the computer my knees felt the brunt of that but I do have bad knees. I tried the balance balls too for sitting at the computer and that just gave me back ache.

Basically you need to do exercises that stretch the pectorals and anterior deltoids, plus exercises to strengthen the lats, rhomboids, posterior deltoids (basically upper back). To strengthen the upper back try bent over flys, lat pull down & seated row. (google for exercise explanations) Yoga will definitely help so if you can incorporate that into your routine then great!

[nbdx0645]

Good questions. I'll start with Kera's. I started to worry a bit around 6th grade, I'd say. My mom told my she was a late bloomer and developed breasts in high school (blatant lie) so I wasn't too worried. I pretended that I had my period since I was 13 to fit in with other girls. I got my period on tax day (lolz) when I was almost 15. I was done growing boobs shortly after my period started, I think. I didn't like to look down at them so I'm not totally sure of their size then, compared to now. I was really worried and self-conscious in high school. It seemed like breasts was a requirement to be popular in school. In retrospect, that wasn't the case, but it felt like it :/ I wore a lot of padded bras, swimsuits, and I always wore my push-up bra underneath my sports bra, until my senior year. I found a padded sports bra so I used those, instead. I didn't get teased as much as I could have, since I wore padded bras and I avoided low-cut shirts. I also wished I got the attention girls with breasts had. It's similar to that feeling when you're a kid, and all the other girls are being chased -- but you aren't. Aww.

There was definitely that "am I normal?" thing going on for me, since my mom wasn't a big help and my sister was too shy to talk about her small breasts until she was much older. I don't remember much of junior high, I hated it. Now, at 25, I'm getting used to being much smaller than most people. I think I'm secretly hoping that when I go back on BC they'll change. I also tried a bust-enlargement program. The swelling was temporary, and after one month my breasts didn't fit my bras...the bras were too big. Maybe I lost weight? I don't know. I stopped the regimen. I still have a bunch of pills in my closet. The bras I ordered from Urban Outfitters (the triangle-style ones) were too big. I'm not surprised. I'm tired of letting all these memories bother me.

As for posture, I'd be interested in what others say. My posture blows.

[strongirl]

So now it's my turn for a question to all of you.

Has anyone dealt with having bad posture and been successful at improving it? If so, what did you do to make it better? I want specifics - specific exercises, or techniques, or gadgets (a corset?), etc. I need to do something.

My posture sucks, mostly due to the fact that I've spent most of my waking hours working on a computer for the past 3 decades. I think not only my breasts but my whole body would look better if I could improve it in a lasting manner, plus I'm worried it's going to become more of a health problem as I age. The best its ever been was when I did yoga and maybe I should just get back into that but I'm interested in all and any suggestions.

Thanks in advance!

[strongirl]

Hi Kera - It's funny, I didn't have any negative feelings about my small breasts until I was much older and big boobs and implants became so much more the "market standard" of what it means to be attractive. It wasn't really like that when I was your age (in the 1970's). Being thin was the ideal and going braless was the fashion, so as a slender girl with small, pert breasts I thought I was quite lucky!

The only time I ever really felt dissatisfied was about 10 years ago when the big boob thing really started to reach absurd levels and it warped my head along with everyone else's standards. At that time I started thinking about implants...but when I did the research and started seeing "before and after" pics, I found that I liked the "befores" better! Then I learned about all the complications and problems that can happen (including the fact that about 1/3 of all women with implants had to have a repeat or corrective surgery within 3 years) and I went, uh, no thanks.

[KeraBear]

Here's a question. About what stage in your life did you all become "aware" that you were gonna end up smaller than your peers? And when did it start to "bother" you? I was looking at old yearbook photos, which got me thinking about all this. Sooo many good memories of elementary school, but junior high was just the worst. Probably because while all the other girls started getting boobs, all i could manage was two puffy nipples. It wasn't until the summer between 8th and 9th that somebody could look at me (with clothes on) and say, "hey, little Kera is starting to get breasts". btw that happened to me at a family reunion. I've always had a bit of a complex about being seen as my age (now 17) and not a little girl. Certainly not helped by not getting my first period until i was 15. And the endless teasing from classmates about my booblets and being short. The problem was that for the longest time i associated having a chest and periods with being a woman. But i've come to the conclusion that being a woman is far more that just boobs and blood, it's a mentality. After all, i know 11-year-olds with both and i know i am way more woman than they are! So.... yeah... it's been a rough go for lil Kera since junior high. High school has gotten better for me since i've reached this realization. I just wish I could go have a time machine so that I could go back and talk some sense into junior high Kera. Gotta keep rocking these booblets with all i've got! Anyways, just thought I would share. You ladies have been AWESOME for me. Thanks.

[spot-on]

Hi busties!
Back from a great vacation over thanksgiving, now cleaning and doing laundry and all that crap lol. Had a great time, didn't think about boobs hardly at all over the trip except where I was freezing my ass off in the morning and decided not to remove my t-shirt to put a bra on and went out to walk the dogs braless Sure I had on a t-shirt, sweater and coat but hey the intention is there! Hope you all had a great thanksgiving!

[buttercups]

I second what Aithinne said, I am so thankful for all of you! Happy Thanksgiving!!

[Aithinne]

I just wanted to wish everyone an early happy Thanksgiving, because I probably won't get around to getting online tomorrow.

I am certainly grateful for this haven of amazing women, and thank you all for being awesome!

[karategrrl]

As for the wrath of moms, I go out of my way to make myself ooze confidence. When I see her, I wear my bralette with a pretty shirt. Then, I turn up the charm and the smiles. She'll stare at my chest the entire time, and make some well-meaning compliments/advice, and I don't listen to her at all. No acknowledgement,no back-talk, nothing. She says what she wants to say and goes "you know?" "...you know?" "....I'm just trying to help, you know?" And I'll just smile. When she changes the topic, that's when I start talking again. It's my way of standing firm about my decision to refuse implants. I refuse to let her see me sad. Because if she sees me sad she says she'll call up her old doctor and pay for my consultation, or some other BS. What helps me out the most is to flash my well-endowed smile. But it can be hard sometimes, to see such disapproval. It's the only way I can get her to STFU.

Grrl, I am so in awe of you. You are handling an exceptionally difficult situation with grace, strength and self-respect. Not to mention, I know there are lots of moms out there whose daughters want implants but they're (the moms) trying to do everything they can to discourage it. Most of the TV shows I've seen where girls get implants have shown the moms trying to talk them out of it. Not to diss your mom, but WTF!!!????

And sheet yeah, I wish we could all meet, like a smallie convention or something. Now that would be totally freaking awesome.

And one more random thought--I was totally getting off on the sight of my husband's mouth on my breast the other night. Good feeling.

[angie_21]

I agree, everyone here rocks wish I could meet y'all in person, I'd love to buy you all a beer lol It's nice to be able to talk with so many girls who are supportive and fun, and smart too.

strongirl, do you have a link to that study? It doesn't make sense to me. I mean, I always thought that people responded to photos (of anything) differently than they responded to things in real life, so of course men would respond similarly to a photo of a woman as they would to a photo of whatever else, especially if it's a photo of a stranger. I also agree with your boyfriend's point. Men are subjected to advertising with women in skimpy outfits 24/7, and just because they may automatically respond a certain way to a photo of a woman in a sexual pose and semi-sexual outfit, doesn't mean they respond the same way to real women, in real life. Did they test how women react to photos of shirtless male models in tight jeans? Studies like that not only sell men short, they also give men an excuse to act stupid and treat women badly, so I hate it when scientists and the media sensationalize their work just to make it sexier or more controversial. spot-on, female chimps are just as promiscuous as male chimps, so the biological idea doesn't work... men have no excuse! or maybe women should just have more fun!

[spot-on]

nbdx - good for you for standing up to your Mom! And yay for new undies

cleavage - um yeah, put me down as a skinny boob bump "cleavage". I *can* get my boobs to touch, IF I lie down on my side with my arms in certain positions (otherwise the lower one sinks into my armpit the joys of aging!). But seriously it's not a very sexy position to be in and very unnatural looking! Also if your ex had bigger boobs than you then that just means he was fat *sticks tongue out and blows raspberry* Ha! Take that Fatty! When my man puts on weight he gets moobs (man boobs) and we've laughed that his were bigger than mine. They were but they also sagged and had no shape. And hello you've put tons of weight on (car wreck, pain killers and no exercise while his back recovered)!

Kate Hudson - ok before that article I had total respect for her, but to hear she even thinks about implants both releives me and disgusts me at the same time. Conflicted here. I look up to women like her, it means I'm normal. It means I can acheive anything because here are these kick ass women making names for themselves with small boobies in a plastic world! I dunno, I really hope she doesn't get implants EVER. She's a roll model for millions of girls out there with small breasts, do you think celebs realize this when they fake themselves?

Starship - yep the photoshopping is totally out of hand, and yes they look like cartoons. But then thats what some women seriously look like now. With all the fake blonde hair, fake tan, fake enormous boobs, fake faces and more botox than Joan Rivers. Some of them look frankly ridiculous. I mean there is NO WAY some of these women have seen their belly buttons/coochie/feet in a long time other than looking in a mirror. And this is what young guys of today are jacking off to? No wonder girls have self esteem and body issues!

Also on an unrelated note, in that article starship posted did anyone look at Nicole Kidman? Wow can she not move her face anymore? Serious lift, peel and botox goin on there I think! I heard she had implants too, though can't tell from that pic. I thought she was a smallie though? Could be push up bra I guess

Strongirl - you BF forms an interesting point! But without knowing what part of the brain was stimulated by the images years ago we can't form a correlation either way. Maybe they've always reacted that way, or maybe it's a learned behavior due to the photoshopping and faking of women? Also I think it would depend on whether they were thinking of the women sexually or with a view to a relationship. men as we know tend to have problems controlling their sexual parts so I think also there is some element of "don't think of her like that, you'll get an erection" so maybe that has something to do with it too? They are just stimulating a certain part of their brain in order not to get a hard on? Also on the flipside, if they've always had this stimulation of the brain (and we can't say for sure either way) then maybe it's a primal issue, we're meant to mate and men were ones to do the copulating with multiple women, perhaps it stems from that in order not to form multiple attachments?

Wow rambling and LONG post. I should be packing, lol!

[strongirl]

Wow, too many great posts in here to even digest properly! What an incredible, intelligent, insightful group of powerful women y'all are!!!!

It's almost like there's a phenomenon in this forum where amazing women have attracted other amazing women and now we've got this rockin' group that's just in a synergistic groove! I stand back in awe.

nbdx, my bf also has great pecs and more lying down cleavage than I do. And I also get that in-between skin ridge you describe, when I'm at my low boobage times of the month. But neither my bf nor I are bothered by any of this. We both like our own and each other's stuff, so it's all good. I doubt your bf has any issues with it, so you should just let it go. Poof! Good-bye, silly issue.

Spot-on, YAY! for you on pointing out how good it is to compliment other women. I do it too and I love it when it is done to me. It can help one make a HUGE mental shift from viewing other women as "competitors" to viewing them as our sisters and friends. It's such a great thing to do, not just to make someone else feel good but for your own mental health as well, to come from a position of generosity and kindness.

On the photoshopping, a while back I saw some study where they hooked men up to MRI's and showed that men's brains reacted to looking at photos of models in bikini's as if they were looking at inanimate objects. The article was basically saying "see, men view women as sex objects". But when I mentioned it to my bf, he disagreed and said that maybe the reason they reacted that way is that the women had been implanted and photoshopped to the point that they WERE inanimate objects! That on some level, the men realize that these women are not real and their brain waves reflect that. I thought that was a very interesting point.

[nbdx0645]

Hey Starship, I feel you. I think Kate Hudson's dress is very pretty on her, and she looks presentable for an awards ceremony. That's exactly how I would look in that dress, too. It really bothers me that they chose the worst photo of her as the article's cover-shot. She's a very pretty girl. I also can't stand the way they write about small breasts. She handles the talk so well. She's my hero! It's celebrities like her who are helping out women from doing harm. I posted a comment on that site, giving my opinion.

As for the wrath of moms, I go out of my way to make myself ooze confidence. When I see her, I wear my bralette with a pretty shirt. Then, I turn up the charm and the smiles. She'll stare at my chest the entire time, and make some well-meaning compliments/advice, and I don't listen to her at all. No acknowledgement,no back-talk, nothing. She says what she wants to say and goes "you know?" "...you know?" "....I'm just trying to help, you know?" And I'll just smile. When she changes the topic, that's when I start talking again. It's my way of standing firm about my decision to refuse implants. I refuse to let her see me sad. Because if she sees me sad she says she'll call up her old doctor and pay for my consultation, or some other BS. What helps me out the most is to flash my well-endowed smile. But it can be hard sometimes, to see such disapproval. It's the only way I can get her to STFU.

She might push harder, my mom got me a VS gift card and (in front of my boyfriend) said "You can get a nice push-up bra, they make the best ones" and I said "I can't fit into VS bras" (they don't stock AA's at their store, from what I've seen they're online only) "...but I can get a ton of super-cute undies and fragrance" *Thumbs up from the boyfriend accompanied by a big smile" Every 'negative' is made positive. And the best part is that it will make you feel better because you're 1.) standing up to a bully and 2.) you're using positive reinforcement.

I run into the frustrating issue of my boyfriend having larger 'breasts' than me. I've had this issue twice before. One used it to his advantage when we broke up and told all his buddies. The other didn't care at all and thought I have a great body. When my boyfriend lays on his side in bed he has 'cleavage.' I don't even have cleavage by laying on my side! If I try to push my breasts together, I have a long, skinny little 'hill' where the 'valley is supposed to be'. So, for me, it's boob ---> skin bump ---> boob. I can't help but stare at his chest at night. So...jealous...

Has anybody else had this issue? My current BF isn't heavy like the other two...it's because he's got great pecs. I really don't mean to make such long posts.

[starship]

I know my mothers wrong that all celebs get it done and i know that if I can make some sort of cleavage then it's not gonna be hard for someone with a natural b-c cup to do it, heck ive seen for myself paris hilton's boobs going up and down like nobodys business. She didnt seem to believe me though. i dunno what issues she has herself but shes alwayss commenting on peoples breasts- seriously, if we're talking about a photo of someone or an outfit theyre wearing or even just someone we havent seen for a while, its always the boobs she seems to remark on. drives me insane. and the worst thing is is that i know there are other people out there who think like her too (regarding her stance on boobjobs as a necessity). I mean, just look at this article from today- http://www.mailonsunday.co.uk/tvshowbiz/ar...-cut-dress.html ...the way it says she wears low tops 'despite' her small chest, as though she should be busting out the polo-neck all year round cos theres nothing to see here folks. and how it focuses on the fact that she hasnt had breast enlargement yet like its a suprise that she didnt head to the surgeons office with her first paycheck and get it sorted pronto. This whole kind of attitude reminds me exactly of the things my mother says and how she thinks. Even when it's not said outright theres all these underlying implications and assumptions. I think my she's just another sad victim of the media, swallowing everything they churn out without even questioning it.

some of the photoshop stuff you've all been talking about actually suprised me. I looked on one of youtube the links that spot-on gave and ended up watching lots of 'related' videos showing photoshop transformations of perfectly normal women into oversexualised non-human creations. probably videos made by the same sort of desperate guys who sit at home getting off over anime porn (no offence to anyone who's into anime porn ). the end results were literally just cartoons and i expected to read lots of comments saying how ridiculous it was but instead there were plenty of pwoars and wows and other comments to the general efffect of 'my, what a great improvement youve made there'. sometimes i feel like banging my head against the desk. or perhaps just someone elses head. I think overtime things are only gonna get worse for 'normal' women in this sense, like youve all pointed out with the photoshopped movies n stuff- things are getting crazy and some people are completely losing a grip of reality, because they hardly ever get to see it!

Buttercups I agree with everyone who's said youve come really far and made loads of progress! everyone has bad days, I usually just come on here to talk it through with these wise women and let out all my insecurities, then put it to the back of my mind and try hard not to let it consume all my thoughts. Im totally with you buttercups on the 'if i have a daughter..' thing. ill definately be learning from my mothers mistakes and i think that because ive had these issues and ended up talking to you guys ive become so much more educated on the issue of body image and learnt so much. hope i dont sound like a traitor here though, but i really hope any daughters dont get thier boobs from me. i mean, no matter how supportive id be i still wouldnt be able to hide them from all the boob-orientated media out there and they'd probably end up going through a similar sort of battle as most of us have done. Have any of you busties had daughters and had to deal with these issues with them?

I saw the episode of Will&Grace this morning where grace gets a water bra to impress some guy she thinks is only into boobs and ends up springing leaks all other place . i love watching that show. it's nice to see that 'one of us' can poke fun at herself and still stand proud and confident (and braless) afterwards, totally unfazed

angie-21 you're awesome:)
as are all you ladies:)

[spot-on]

Yay Angie for getting hit on! I do find that there is a big portion of men that like the natural and athletic look so it doesn't surprise me on bit that they found you attractive! It sounded like you were comfortable in what you were wearing and probably feeling confident because of that, and relaxed after finishing the exam! You go girl!

Yep movies are just insane now, not only with the make-up, lighting etc but now with photoshop. It's crazy. There are laws going through in the UK to try and stop PS on ads aimed at minors, and to disclose PS on other ads. It's kinda ironic to me that ads for wrinkle creams etc have the wrinles PS'd out of the models. So not right and I am totally agreeing that something needs to be done. More awareness of PS and before and after photo sites will help but we need full disclosure of the stuff that is done on ads so young girls realize what they are looking at isn't real.

they brush out the freckles cos we're all meant to have perfect flawless skin, be blonde with big boobs, have full hair, no wrinkles, and nothing out of the ordinary. Which would make us all stepford women! I am far from that thank heavens!

[angie_21]

spot-on, I just looked at the first set of before and after photos, and I have to say, why one earth did they airbrush away those girls' beautiful freckles?! that is just kinda sad.

[angie_21]

((buttercups)) like enfemera said, you're doing great!

Sport-on, it's even worse now that they have the budgets to photoshop movies not just for special effects, but also for people's appearances. My guy says he hates watching high budget movies these days because the actresses are hot, but they're so photoshopped it's like you're watching a cartoon and you're supposed to think it's sexy (also he hates the movies because well, they just generally suck, but this was a reason too lol). He always prefers the girls in the old style movies where every girl actually looked different, and you were supposed to see her personality. yes, that's right, he's a guy and he thinks personality is more important to attractiveness than physical looks. gasp. I just wish there weren't all the other people out there who do buy into that stuff. Also, I loooove PS disasters! so funny.

well last night I went out after writing an exam I've been studying for weeks to write, and decided to celebrate. I went straight after the exam, no make up, no push-up bra, and still wearing my t-shirt and sneakers, but still ended up with a guy at the bar asking for my number. I also discovered I'm a lot older than I used to be, because I used to be just entertained and flattered by the guys who try to dance too close, and now I just feel awkward and a bit annoyed. Honestly, a girl can't dance with her friends without it being assumed she's just waiting for a guy to come up and grind with her? and to think I used to roll my eyes when some of my friends complained about this 5 years ago.