[neurotic.nelly]

and to both you & n.nelly: can you elaborate on your feelings of being an Only Child please?
I am curious, and did your feelings change as you grew up?

As an only child I got really comfortable with being alone. I was a little bit on the shy side as a child. I learned to appreciate my alone time, where as some of my friends from larger families found it harder to be alone.
Here is the double edged sword that I deal with: Positive: I didn't have to deal with someone bugging me, messing with my stuff, challenging me. Negative: I didn't have to deal with someone bugging me, messing with my stuff, challenging me.
I was lonely a lot, too. So, feeling lonely as an adult isn't as bothersome to me, as being irritated by someone. I have a low tolerance for annoying people, places, and things.
As a child, I was more flexible about friendships, as a teenager I was more flexible about relationships, and as an adult person, I am more "stuck in my ways" and comfortable with myself, so I am more picky about who I date or befriend.

[lilacwine13]

(((stargazer and nelly))) I've been there, still am.

And I hate it when people hover over the toilet seat. Of course, this is coming from someone who is comfortable peeing in the woods, so what do I know?

Confession: I feel sick and I'm using that as an excuse to sleep and watch TV instead of sending out resumes. I wasn't sick enough to go shopping, though.

[culturehandy]

(((((zoya)))))

I am lost.

[zoya]

I'm taking a sleeping pill tonite because I just don't want to have these dreams any more.

[pherber]

confession:
I sat in pee (allll over the seat) on the toliet seat at the movies this afternoon, and saw the woman who came out of the stall before me as I was leaving and wanted to beat her ass. bad.
to say the least, that'll learn me to squat next time.

Aaaaarrrrghhh!
That happens to me so often!
It's my absolute No1 top pet peeve!
I work in bars and live venues, and sometimes I'm in such a rush, because it's busy, so no time to check the seat...

Why, oh why can't they put the seat up like guys, when they're squatting?
(I can't seem to squat- it must be my back, or something...)

[freckleface7]

confession:
when I buy people presents, I cannot STAND waiting to give it to them, esp if it's something really super good. I do dumb things like drop ridiculous hints & then gets fits of hysterics & giggles and try to clumsily cover my tracks bc I know that on a mature level : waiting is better.

example of this: for Father's Day I bought the mr ( & frecklette, bc they play together) the super ultra version xbox 360, bc they've been wanting it forever & we always wait & wait til the price comes down, but by then the newest Next Best Thing is also out and you know we're just kinda dorks when it comes to that stuff, so I bought it.
hugely pricey, but damnit. he's deploying again & they can bond over this all over again the last weeks he is home.
we're poor til payday again, but my family is happy.

confession:
I sat in pee (allll over the seat) on the toliet seat at the movies this afternoon, and saw the woman who came out of the stall before me as I was leaving and wanted to beat her ass. bad.
to say the least, that'll learn me to squat next time.



thank you star, that was really sweet of you to say. hugs to you. and I am taking your advice & putting some emotional space between that friend & myself, which I am sure she has noticed as we were emailing every day, sometimes twice and have not written her back sinse I said my piece about her continuing on in a bad situation. however- does That not come across as controlling too?
it's not passive agressive on my part and do not want it to be mistaken as such.

and to both you & n.nelly: can you elaborate on your feelings of being an Only Child please?
I am curious, and did your feelings change as you grew up?

[neurotic.nelly]

confession: I get slightly horny in the middle of the day, everyday. If I were able to, I'd go rub one out right now, and have a smoke. Ahhh, that'd be nice. But, I am at work, so I can't.

(((((stargazer)))) - i am an only child too. i can relate...

[stargazer]

((zoya)) i agree with what freckle said. she just put it better.


((freckle)) that sounds like one complicated friend. i don't think you would be a witch if you cut and run. if anything, maybe put some distance there. unless you just feel better cutting things off completely. can i say that i've always appreciated your honesty in this thread? for whatever that's worth.


confession:being an only child, i've been too ok with being alone and avoiding my own loneliness. and i'm trying to say i'm ok with it but it is tough. and i'm not cool or tough enough to say it doesn't bother me anymore or that i'm really need this time for myself. it is a struggle. i am trying to shift my focus to the latter of focusing on getting myself settled, but damn, it was tough walking the trails on sunday and seeing alot of couples spending time together.

[freckleface7]

I have renewed a formerly old and close friendship from high school on myspace;
it's cool in some ways bc we've known each other more than 20 years and apparently, I am someone still fairly signifigant in her life as all her current friends already know about me.
the downside now is, she's making some hugely big mistakes right now.. dating a married man who has some obviously controlling/abusive tendencies, threatening to kill both his wife & then turning around and talking about killing Himself to her whenever they have a disagreement.
she only just started to see this guy & imo is not so far in that she can't 'get out' and save herself a LOT of heartache or worse but she doesn't want to.

I am so frustated that I am wanting to cut the ties already. - *I* am not so deeply invested back into the relationship w/ her that it would be so devastating to do so right now. frankly? I don't need or want the drama; there's enough on my plate already.
I hate to see her hurt and told her, in Plain English that I won't be a witness to her self-destruction bc I know she's worth more than that, even if She doesn't see it.

all her friends back home are encouraging this relationship & behavior;
am I total witch if I cut & run ?

zoya: screw what anyone else says or thinks. you are not acountable to anyone in this world beyond yourself or your (future) partner.
I was the most un-motherly (except for my cat) girl growing up.. never wanted kids.. always even pretended to be the 'neighbor lady visiting' when we kids would play house, but never-ever the mom.
I met the mr & decided that yah, down the road, a kid or 2 would be ok, and then Boom, frecklette was on the way after 1.5 years. she's 14 now & still the coolest kid I know.
live your life on Your terms and don't look back w/ apologies.

((((((zoya))))

[zoya]

after years of telling people that I was pretty ambivalent about having kids - if I do I do, if I don't I don't, and either is ok with me...I suddenly have a new view on where my life is at - and I'm no longer ambivalent about it. I want em, and it feels totally right. How the hell do I explain that to people? (well it's not like I ever said I DIDN'T want em, just that well.. I didn't care so much)

[lilacwine13]

I received a friend request on myspace from an old coworker who was having problems at home and I didn't respond right away because work has been brutal and I didn't want anything else to deal with right now. Today I noticed it's gone, and I feel guilty for not saying anything sooner. I hope she's okay.

[starshine]

I skipped out on my ten year highschool reunion dinner at the pub that is threee blocks from my house (we were too lazy to have anything big) to stay in listening to the breakup music I listened to when I was 16, do laundry, and read. But it's been a rough week and my first night alone in days.

[geekchickknits]

I am utterly procrastinating when I have SOOOOO much work to do, and I know I'm going to feel shitty about procrastinating in about an hour and a half.

I am also in the process of building a harem of men for my sexual pleasure.

It gives me a smug sense of joy when I think about the fact that one of the reasons why my ex and I broke up was that he felt like he hadn't been with "enough" women, and used to talk about having a harem all the time. From anything I've heard, he's got back together with a girl he used to date. Yeah, buddy, way to jack up those numbers. Meanwhile, I have two local guys on speed dial, and think I may have found a third......

[culturehandy]

There is a manI work with who I'm now aching to fuck. The chances of me being back at this office are slim after I come back here for two weeks, so why the hell not have some fun.

[freckleface7]

confession: I dusted off my flute this morning and gave my puppies an impromptu concert;
instead of them being scared & running away ( I haven't played in 3 or more years now) they sat raptly at attention and then licked my toes in approval.

I use fancier looking toliet paper in our downstairs 1/2 'guest' bath than I do the rest of the house.
(I have become the type of person who notices that.. time to kill myself!)

[pollystyrene]

((mouse))

I made brownies and brought some to work to share. I had one myself, but didn't have any milk....there were some of those little cups of cream (like what they give you in restaurants) in the fridge though. I had two, just enough to wash down the brownie. They were from a big thing of coffee someone else brought in yesterday, so at least I knew they were fresh.

[mouse]

i just got an email from an ex saying he's moving. we haven't been in any kind of contact for about three months, the last time i saw him in person was december, we stopped sleeping together a year ago and technically stopped being boyfriend & girlfriend *three* years ago. i'm over him and i know we aren't right for each other but i found myself crying.

i think it's because i feel bad for cutting him out of my life so sharply, but if i hadn't i'm pretty sure we'd be on year FOUR of not-dating-just-fucking and it would be wretched. i think it's also because i was waiting to find a new boy before i launched into friendship with him again (and we never were just friends, we started dating pretty much immediately after we met) and that hasn't happened and i feel sorry for myself and also regretful for missing the chance to be his friend. i know he didn't really make a lot of good friends out here and never liked it (we moved out here together), and i have done the total opposite--i have more friends here than i've ever had in one place, and i love it here.

it's astonishing how strong an attachment you can develop for someone who is not right for you, and how long it can stick around even when you think it's gone.

[lilacwine13]

The hotel put me in a smoking room and I don't smoke. I should ask to be moved, but I'm too lazy to move all my shit to a nonsmoking one.

[deschatsrouge]

After not Belly Dancing for five months I perform, without stretching first. Mrs. Rouge said I didn't look out of practice, and I didn't look like a fool. But damn! My muscles ache like a beeyatch. I have no one else but my self to blame.

[grrrlyouwant]

the first several weeks in my new place, when i was on my own, i was coming home after work every day and fixing myself a big drink. like regular tall water glass big, sometimes two. now that my daughter's moved in and i'm finally out of jack and bacardi, i kind of miss it, and i try not to look at the three full bottles of tequila i've got left. i think that if my natural stinginess when it comes to spending my own money ever fails me, i could easily become an alcoholic.