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> "I bet I could bench-press you": the tiny girl thread
angie_21
post Oct 27 2009, 05:11 PM
Post #21


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I don't know if what I have to say will be helpful to this conversation or not. I'm not a tiny girl by any means, but I have been slim most of my life (teetering on the brink of being a bit chubby now I'm afraid) with a small chest, the voice of a 12-year-old, and giant round cheeks with dimples. I've been described as cute very often.

I'm very comfortable with my physcial cuteness, and often use it to my advantage. Having a cute, flirty smile is a guaranteed way to get what you want in the world, from both men and women. And in my experience, guys tend to find it very sexy. The key, in my view, is to realize that if your personality is more than cute, if you're sassy or sexy or a bit bitchy in your actions, all those things show through and make for an awesome combinations. Being cute, you can get away with a lot, and it's very easy to be sexy without coming off as slutty. You come across as being likeable and sweet, which makes people want to help you out, and guys loooove to help girls. Another thing I like is that it makes you seem less threatening, and people can underestimate you, which often gives you an advantage. Some of these things may not make you feel sexy, but they can and should. Just remember - cuteness as a physical trait can always be used to your advantage, while cuteness as a personality trait is much more difficult to swing. Don't mix up the two, and never underestimate the power of cute!
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ketto
post Oct 27 2009, 10:10 AM
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Athinne, I'm going to forever be 'cute' myself. I used to hate it, but now I've sort of settled into it. I think it has a lot more with how you see yourself than how other people see you. I'm only 4'11, fairly petite, round face and I'm 24 but I look about 14-16 (I've gotten as young as 13 with an average of 16). When I was 22 I was even accused of being under 18 and playing on a women's soccer team. When I was younger, I found that going out with friends made people think i was younger than I was and i got ID'd constantly. Oddly, whenever I went out on dates I almost never got ID'd no matter who I was with.

I don't think there's any way to make the shape of your face look different. I think you need to accept what you have and work within that. I found that by changing my hair and doing my eyes a little more dramatically I felt a lot sexier. People still call me cute, but I see myself as sexy and beautiful (and a little cute) and I know that's how my partner sees me too. People find confidence sexy, it's true. The more confident you are in yourself, the more attractive you tend to come off. I really do think it's all in how we see ourselves. My mom was getting ID'd on her 35th birthday when she had 3 kids and no sleep, so I expect people to find me 'cute' and youthful for many many years to come. I like how I see myself and I care less about how others do.


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spot-on
post Oct 27 2009, 09:42 AM
Post #23


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Aithinne, to get to your cute vs sexy debate: I come from England originally, moved to the US in 2001. I had never heard the word cute used in the way it is here in the US. We have a single guy friend that we used to go out with occasionally (he's attached now) and we'd mention any unnattached women in the restaurant/bar and he often says "yeah she's cute". I took this as he wasn't that interested when in fact he was. I associate cute with 'nice but not for me thanks I prefer ...' . I don't know why, I just don't associate 'cute' as a come on. I'd never heard the term before I came to the US though
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Aithinne
post Oct 26 2009, 05:50 PM
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Thanks angie for the push.

I'm not lying when I say I have about a million reasons why 'cute' makes me insecure. I think I'll stick to the short of the current manifestation of my insecurity of the word. Basically, I was looking at pictures and found one of my half-sister and I that was taken about a year ago. Let's just say that if I wanted a picture that made me look pretty, a picture with my sister would definitely make it so I might as well not be in the picture at all. My chipmunk cheeks make me look like a cute 5 year old, and her stunning self carves my own name in the plain jane block.

If anyone has any makeup tips to make my cheeks look smaller and my face less round/more angular, it would be greatly appreciated. I would very much desire to break out of the 'cute' pigeon hole somehow. Unfortunately I don't know any other way to stop looking 12 with my face shape, without going under some type of cosmetic surgery, and the idea of that is not appealing at all. Besides, most facial plastic surgery ends up looking VERY bad.
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angie_21
post Oct 26 2009, 04:17 PM
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*bump* for Aithinne
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Eris_Sweetleaf
post Sep 3 2009, 11:42 AM
Post #26


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I have something that may be worth some thinking;

I know this 'all natural' movement is still going on but what I don't get is that when a slim woman has something proud to say about herself, why do some people knock it for vanity? If this is supposed to be about respect and whatnot what does all this hostility towards smaller women supposed to do? Is it not disrespect to constantly belittle someone just because you THINK they have an eatting disorder and is it not disrespect to imply that everyone has the right to feel good about themselves UNLESS you're a thin woman?

Why am I asking this?

Because I was told that I don't have the right to feel good about myself because I'm a skinny bitch.

Natural movement and love your body my ass. The only thing this 'movement' has done is allow people to be more vocal about their hyprocritical bullshit. I can understand that larger women get shit but I think its rather sad that they actually try to block out my insecurities only because they want more people to feel sorry for them, because I guess I've had it easier or something, never mind I've gotten shit for being small most of my life, especially when I got older into 'womanly' territories. I guess I got the 'easier' of being insulted or something.
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ketto
post Aug 6 2009, 12:56 PM
Post #27


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Hehe, this reminds me of something funny my boyfriend told me when we were first dating.

He showed my picture to a woman he works with and she said, "Oh, she looks so cute and innocent...but I bet she's not." Too funny. I've never met this woman, but I like her.


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KeraBear
post Aug 6 2009, 12:44 PM
Post #28


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QUOTE(Aithinne @ Aug 6 2009, 10:51 AM) *
I've had a hate relationship with the word cute too. I think because all I get is 'cute'. If I knew someone thought of me as 'sexy', 'hot', 'beautiful', etc, then being 'cute' every once in a while wouldn't be a bother. As long as you know that the person knows you are an adult and sees you as one, then cute loses much of its offensive, condescending, i-don't-see-you-as-a-sexual-being, power.


Oh yes, this! I guess i am sorta self conscious because i already look really young (the AA cup breasts don't help) I know i have a different experience, being younger (and actually "jailbait" and al, ha ha) and all, but i desperately want to be seen as a young adult. Sometimes people treat me like a junior higher, and I'm almost 17!
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Aithinne
post Aug 6 2009, 09:51 AM
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Oh boy, CUTE. I've talked about that word before, I tell ya! It's hard to not be seen as an adult when you are one. You aren't taken seriously and I think you're less apt to be approached by men because they think you're illegal. Or you wonder if you are approached if they came up to you because they thought you were jailbait. So frustrating to be sure of someone's intentions unless you're at a bar and have a drink in your hand, which clearly puts you over 21.

I've had a hate relationship with the word cute too. I think because all I get is 'cute'. If I knew someone thought of me as 'sexy', 'hot', 'beautiful', etc, then being 'cute' every once in a while wouldn't be a bother. As long as you know that the person knows you are an adult and sees you as one, then cute loses much of its offensive, condescending, i-don't-see-you-as-a-sexual-being, power.
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Allison-Shine
post Aug 5 2009, 04:17 PM
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QUOTE(KeraBear @ Aug 5 2009, 11:08 AM) *
UGH... i am also get the "tiny and cute" references a lot- (5'2'', 105 pounds, 16 years old). In fact, i mostly despise the word cute. Little girls are "cute" you know? I totally know what you mean about the elementary pictures. I had to go through that, too! I was 5'0'' until 9th grade. I didn't even get my first period until 15 and a half. I wonder how much that has to do with low body weight?

I also so feel you on the anorexia comments. It is maddening. If anything i want to gain weight, but my body doesn't seem to be wired that way. But you are right, 13, there is nothing to be ashamed of. These are our bodies, the way we were meant to be. And it's a beautiful thing. I do believing that. But I stioll have a long ways to go.



I'm 23 and still get the cute label a lot. It's like gee Ive been an adult for five years and I am a college graduate. I know I look younger for my age but I don't look 12 or anything.

Maybe its better than being called a fat cow or a dog but still I'm not some little girl.
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KeraBear
post Aug 5 2009, 10:08 AM
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QUOTE(thirteen @ Jul 28 2009, 01:00 PM) *
Though I have not ever been bench pressed either, I get lifted up quite a bit by my friends (male and female alike)-- one of whom recently locked himself out of his house and asked me to come over and climb through a high-up window, so I could unlock the door from the inside. It was funny because perhaps 5 minutes before he got locked out, he had picked me up and couldn't believe how easy it was to do.

I used to be uncomfortable with people lifting me up, grabbing my "bony" wrists, calling me tiny and cute. In elementary school I was always the shortest and lightest one in the class & had to sit in the front row for our class picture or else you could not see me! Until I was 18 or so I was 5'1", maybe 5'2", and then slowly inched up to 5'3", where of course I'm staying (being almost 26 years old). My weight has steadily remained at under 100 lbs.-- 97 or 98-- and it drives me insane when people ask if I have anorexia, because I eat normal portions, very healthy food, and I am small but not sickly-looking!!

Now I've really embraced being petite & see there is nothing to be ashamed of; it's a beautiful thing.
13


UGH... i am also get the "tiny and cute" references a lot- (5'2'', 105 pounds, 16 years old). In fact, i mostly despise the word cute. Little girls are "cute" you know? I totally know what you mean about the elementary pictures. I had to go through that, too! I was 5'0'' until 9th grade. I didn't even get my first period until 15 and a half. I wonder how much that has to do with low body weight?

I also so feel you on the anorexia comments. It is maddening. If anything i want to gain weight, but my body doesn't seem to be wired that way. But you are right, 13, there is nothing to be ashamed of. These are our bodies, the way we were meant to be. And it's a beautiful thing. Deep down, I do believing that. But I still have a long ways to go.
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Allison-Shine
post Aug 5 2009, 05:25 AM
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QUOTE(hellotampon @ Aug 4 2009, 11:18 PM) *
I'm 5'3" and 115 too.

I can lift and move 150 lb people though! I have old ladies my size or smaller than me get all awed at how "strong" I am- it's funny because I lift people way bigger than them.



That is impressive, do you work out or do you have natural strength? There are smaller, slimmer people who are like you and have amazing strength for their size.
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hellotampon
post Aug 4 2009, 10:18 PM
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QUOTE(Allison-Shine @ Jul 21 2009, 09:57 PM) *
Well, you certainly belong in this thread then, lol.
Like you and stereotypical, I'm 5'3" as well and have filled out more since my teen years, I'm 115 now. I was 100-108 in high school/early college.

I have never been bench pressed surprisingly, hahaha. But my 16 year old sister lifted me up as I held her hands and balanced my feet on hers as she raised me up, she's a good 20 pounds on me and got pretty strong in the past few years. Doesn't always take a guy to lift me either.


I'm 5'3" and 115 too.

I can lift and move 150 lb people though! I have old ladies my size or smaller than me get all awed at how "strong" I am- it's funny because I lift people way bigger than them.
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Allison-Shine
post Aug 4 2009, 05:56 PM
Post #34


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QUOTE(thirteen @ Jul 28 2009, 01:00 PM) *
Though I have not ever been bench pressed either, I get lifted up quite a bit by my friends (male and female alike)-- one of whom recently locked himself out of his house and asked me to come over and climb through a high-up window, so I could unlock the door from the inside. It was funny because perhaps 5 minutes before he got locked out, he had picked me up and couldn't believe how easy it was to do.

I used to be uncomfortable with people lifting me up, grabbing my "bony" wrists, calling me tiny and cute. In elementary school I was always the shortest and lightest one in the class & had to sit in the front row for our class picture or else you could not see me! Until I was 18 or so I was 5'1", maybe 5'2", and then slowly inched up to 5'3", where of course I'm staying (being almost 26 years old). My weight has steadily remained at under 100 lbs.-- 97 or 98-- and it drives me insane when people ask if I have anorexia, because I eat normal portions, very healthy food, and I am small but not sickly-looking!!

Now I've really embraced being petite & see there is nothing to be ashamed of; it's a beautiful thing.
13



Well its nice that you size can be used for good sometimes, lol. I eat normal amounts of food too and have next to no worries of gaining a lot of weight. Maybe someday though that could change for the worse, my metabolism changing or whatever. I do count my blessings at times for being the weight I am. Weight control can be elusive to many people.
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thirteen
post Jul 28 2009, 12:00 PM
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QUOTE(Allison-Shine @ Jul 21 2009, 02:57 PM) *
Well, you certainly belong in this thread then, lol.
Like you and stereotypical, I'm 5'3" as well and have filled out more since my teen years, I'm 115 now. I was 100-108 in high school/early college.

I have never been bench pressed surprisingly, hahaha. But my 16 year old sister lifted me up as I held her hands and balanced my feet on hers as she raised me up, she's a good 20 pounds on me and got pretty strong in the past few years. Doesn't always take a guy to lift me either.


Though I have not ever been bench pressed either, I get lifted up quite a bit by my friends (male and female alike)-- one of whom recently locked himself out of his house and asked me to come over and climb through a high-up window, so I could unlock the door from the inside. It was funny because perhaps 5 minutes before he got locked out, he had picked me up and couldn't believe how easy it was to do.

I used to be uncomfortable with people lifting me up, grabbing my "bony" wrists, calling me tiny and cute. In elementary school I was always the shortest and lightest one in the class & had to sit in the front row for our class picture or else you could not see me! Until I was 18 or so I was 5'1", maybe 5'2", and then slowly inched up to 5'3", where of course I'm staying (being almost 26 years old). My weight has steadily remained at under 100 lbs.-- 97 or 98-- and it drives me insane when people ask if I have anorexia, because I eat normal portions, very healthy food, and I am small but not sickly-looking!!

Now I've really embraced being petite & see there is nothing to be ashamed of; it's a beautiful thing.


13
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Allison-Shine
post Jul 21 2009, 04:57 PM
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QUOTE(sillygrrl @ Jul 21 2009, 05:01 PM) *
After watching me devour a dessert one night, my ex said I was the skinniest fat girl her ever met. 5'3", 95 pounds and I can eat like a 14-year-old boy sometimes. He used to bench press me too hahaha


Well, you certainly belong in this thread then, lol.


Like you and stereotypical, I'm 5'3" as well and have filled out more since my teen years, I'm 115 now. I was 100-108 in high school/early college.

I have never been bench pressed surprisingly, hahaha. But my 16 year old sister lifted me up as I held her hands and balanced my feet on hers as she raised me up, she's a good 20 pounds on me and got pretty strong in the past few years. Doesn't always take a guy to lift me either.
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sillygrrl
post Jul 21 2009, 04:01 PM
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I can't stand when people tell me they will feed me or ask what I eat. Would they ever say that someone who is overweight? Absolutely not, so why is it OK to say those things to me?

After watching me devour a dessert one night, my ex said I was the skinniest fat girl her ever met. 5'3", 95 pounds and I can eat like a 14-year-old boy sometimes. He used to bench press me too hahaha


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stereotypical
post Jul 16 2009, 11:25 AM
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At 25 and 5'3", I just hit the 100lbs mark last year.

As much as I hated the comments about my weight and people assuming I had an eating disorder (most recently my new doctor) it has become such a huge part of my identity that when I'm not the smallest in the group, I'm lost.
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angie_21
post Jul 5 2009, 01:28 PM
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Hey guys, I just started reading this thread and haven't gotten very far back yet, but I just wanted to say hi. I've been on both sides of the fence in my life (was bugged a lot about being skinny in high school, now I think I'm average even if my BMI says I'm dangerously bordering "overwieght" pfft. what a load of crap). But I will say that a ot of things were easier when I was too skinny than they are now when I'm too "fat."

Anyways, I wanted to comment on what was said a little ways back, that guys say they like curvy girls but what does that mean anyways. In my experience, it's something guys say when they want girls to think they are open minded and nice. It doesn't mean a whole lot of anything. Or sometimes, it might mean, "I like girls who like to show off their bodies," or even "please don't go on a diet because I hate when girls do that and then glare at me for eating a hamburger." Sometimes unfortunately it just means "I like big ole titties." Doesn't matter, a lot of guys prefer skinny girls, it all balances out in the end, especially because mostly, guys just like girls who are willing to go out with them. No matter what we look like, we still have the power, I wish more girls realized that!
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thirteen
post Jul 4 2009, 10:41 PM
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Darkness-- I completely sympathize with you & am sorry that you are not being accepted for something that is entirely out of your control... and a perfectly lovely way to be, besides. There is nothing wrong with you, and do not let anyone convince you that there is. Ever.

Though I am very petite, my treatment has been admittedly different since I am of Russian descent and small size is seen as par for the course in those with a Slavic background. Still, I get extremely frustrated by all those ridiculous people saying that the only "real" women are the ones with curves-- and what's worse is that if you complain to a woman of "average" or "plus" size, she will often give you the most frosty look on the planet, or at least make some little joke that is impossible to respond to. We are all just going around in circles... and wasting our precious time.

People need to get over appearances, honestly, but I doubt that will ever happen. What truly matters is what is inside, in the soul. What matters is that you live your life with integrity, that you have compassion and honesty and learn as much as you are able to during your stay on Earth. That is what makes a person "real"... no matter what her shape may be.

I cannot stand those who need to mock others and minimize their pain (or at least discomfort, anyway) in order to feel happy and to vent. I mean, it hurts to be treated like you are not womanly or sexual or desirable just because you have a small bum and small breasts and are short. Sometimes I feel as if there is some revenge being taken out on us, as society has become more accepting of larger women.

Why cannot women of all types be respected at the same time? Or is that too tough for our narrow-minded world?

Everyone on this planet of every size is capable of feeling sadness and deserves to be treated kindly, but our society is so toxic now that empathy and intelligence are becoming awfully rare indeed.
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