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> small breast support group - (I need it even if they don't)
karategrrl
post Dec 7 2011, 12:41 PM
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QUOTE(KeraBear @ Dec 7 2011, 05:21 PM) *
omg, a Karategrrl sighting! smile.gif
ha ha... I know right? I was thinking the same thing. I almost said, "SHUT. UP." lol But like i said before, 13 is a reaaaallly difficult age, so I showed compassion. smile.gif I needed ALOT of reassurances and encouragement when i was that age. Heck... still do...


kikyochan, just want to clarify, as I certainly want you to feel welcome here.

Some of the ladies on this board (including me) have expressed frustration at times when much younger women (teens, even) have larger breasts. And if the younger woman also feels "small" and expresses sadness at this, it can be doubly frustrating for those of us who would give their left toenails for those "small" breasts. biggrin.gif

That said, another thing we've often discussed here are the messages from media and other sources that seem to constantly bombard people--especially youth--with the idea that there is a very narrow "ideal" of beauty, be it thin/large-breasted, etc, and that one must go to extremes to "fix" the "flaws" to fit into that narrow mold. To be made to feel anything less than the awesome young lady you are is certainly unacceptable, and if you feel that you are too small, then there must be something wrong with the media and/or people who gave you that impression.

No matter what your size, you're most welcome here if you're looking for (pardon the pun) support, and to feel great about yourself! wink.gif You will find an outstanding group of intelligent, witty ladies here. Please feel free to express whatever you need to. <hugs>
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KeraBear
post Dec 7 2011, 12:21 PM
Post #162


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omg, a Karategrrl sighting! smile.gif

QUOTE(karategrrl @ Dec 7 2011, 09:14 AM) *
I've been outboobed again! By someone less than 1/3 my age! Argh!

But seriously, welcome.


ha ha... I know right? I was thinking the same thing. I almost said, "SHUT. UP." lol But like i said before, 13 is a reaaaallly difficult age, so I showed compassion. smile.gif I needed ALOT of reassurances and encouragement when i was that age. Heck... still do...
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karategrrl
post Dec 7 2011, 09:14 AM
Post #163


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QUOTE(kikyochan @ Nov 27 2011, 07:03 PM) *
Hey! I am thirteen, and I am having a diffucult time accepting that my boobs are never going to grow past being a small c cup. (I've finished growing). Any advice on how to accept my body as it is?

I've been outboobed again! By someone less than 1/3 my age! Argh!

But seriously, welcome.
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anarch
post Dec 7 2011, 02:13 AM
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Wondermist -- huh, reading your words and and Skindeep's reminded me of a friend I had in elementary and junior high school, who hit me. She was emotionally really messed up and I was her only friend. I drifted away from that friendship in high school, because she was taking way more than she gave me, emotionally, and I got tired of being (as skindeep puts it so well) her emotional (and physical) punching bag. I stayed as long as I did because I felt sorry for her. In retrospect, it sure as hell wasn't my job to make her feel better about herself when she didn't respect me enough not to hit me. I should have walked away years earlier. Maybe that would have clued her in that asshole behaviour has consequences.

Vendetta -- thank you for posting your portfolio. Wow. What an eye you have. I think that if we were to have a small breast support group meetup and you took photos, you'd be able to bring out the beauty in all of us that we too often think we don't have.

I actually came in here to post this bebe top, which I bought on sale and it arrived today and is indeed tres sexy for my little boobs. So looking forward to warm weather so I can try it out in public. It's got a low back though so I'll need to wear those chicken cutlet things on my boobs to smooth out the headlights (it has a bra shelf support, thankfully).



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KeraBear
post Dec 6 2011, 09:11 PM
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Starship - Thank you for posting!  It was a great source of encouragement to me. I'm 19 and still struggle so much. And knowing that you are 23 and fairly well adjusted, well... it gives me hope! But i suppose i shouldn't underestimate how far i have already come. i've made some serious progress since i started posting here when i was 16 and i was a huge small-boobied mess back then. Wow.

Wondermist - I agree with Skindeep on a lot of points, especially the bit about distancing yourself from her. It doesn't sound like this is a healthy relationship, especially if she is using you as a punching bag. I wouldn't completely drop her as a friend, though. If she is as socially awkward, like you say, she probably doesn't have a lot of those. It sounds like she needs a positive person in her life in some form or another and you totally fit that bill. You are such a warm, caring person! It might be part of the reason why she is so drawn to you... but you definitely need to have a serious one-on-one convo about curbing these violent tendencies of hers. It would have to be a prerequisite for continuing the friendship for sure...

DeeRayy - Good link!  I can always count on you to post a link that is thoughtful and well-written.  I appreciate how the links you pick are more body image oriented more than anything - not just for small busties like us!

To answer the question about feeling pressure to be "sexy."  YES!  I think for me, more than anything, i feel like pressured to find creative ways to compensate for my small breasts. I know, I know.  Wrong attitude. I should feel attractive BECAUSE of my small breasts, not despite them, huh?  That article actually made me sad because of how it talked about how girls barely into puberty are getting "sexualized" and feeling all sorts of these same pressures. sad.gif

Skindeep - interesting about how you feel more pressure to be sexy now that you are no longer single. I would have thought that it would be the opposite, but now that you've explained it, it totally makes sense.

 

 
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skindeep1991
post Dec 5 2011, 01:58 PM
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QUOTE(starship @ Dec 5 2011, 06:47 PM) *
Do any of you use Tumblr? if you follow the right people on there you'll see tonnes of beautiful small-boobed women daily. you start to realise how it's not something freakish or shameful at all



I do have a tumblr but all it's seem to do is find anorexic people or really skinny women I wish I looked like =[ I haven't stumbled across any small breast tumblrs...what is your tumblr I will follow you =]
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skindeep1991
post Dec 5 2011, 01:58 PM
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QUOTE(starship @ Dec 5 2011, 06:47 PM) *
Do any of you use Tumblr? if you follow the right people on there you'll see tonnes of beautiful small-boobed women daily. you start to realise how it's not something freakish or shameful at all



I do have a tumblr but all it's seem to do is find anorexic people or really skinny women I wish I looked like =[ I haven't stumbled across any small breast tumblrs...what is your tumblr I will follow you =]
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starship
post Dec 5 2011, 01:47 PM
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Hi!

I just popped in here for the first time in ages and wanted to say hello. Haven't fully catched up (it's been a long time) but have had a nosey through the more recent posts- I miss this place!

Like Vendetta I used to post on here a lot, but haven't really felt the need for quite a while. I thought it might be useful to let people know this because it shows that just because it is consuming you at one stage in your life, doesn't mean it always will. Don't get me wrong, my breasts can still be an issue and I probably think about their size more than the average woman and get down about it. but...I do feel better about them now and with time have grown more and more comfortable in my own skin.
I've come to realise that having super-small breasts is far more normal than we realise, an often well-hidden secret. We look gorgeous naked and many other people think so too. Do any of you use Tumblr? if you follow the right people on there you'll see tonnes of beautiful small-boobed women daily. you start to realise how it's not something freakish or shameful at all

I'm 23 now and finallyy starting to feel at ease with my body, slowly but surely. Hopefully I'll never revert back to the stage where my breasts were all I seemed to think about and I was often left in tears.

For all those at the stage of complete self-loathing that i was at a few years ago- hang on in there, it does get better!
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skindeep1991
post Dec 5 2011, 01:15 PM
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QUOTE(DeeRayy @ Dec 5 2011, 05:47 PM) *
do you guys feel enormous pressure to be "sexy"? i know i certainly do!


Constantly to be honest, Whenever I go out I feel pressure into competing with all these girls and there good looks. It was better when I was single because I didn't feel I needed to hold anyone's attention as much. But when I'm out with my partner he's quite an attractive boy and I constantly feel like I'm competing looks wise with other girls and sadly a lot of them are a lot more blessed with looks than I am. I've always felt really self conscious though and the pressure to look sexy just makes it worse.

how about you?
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DeeRayy
post Dec 5 2011, 12:47 PM
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hey all! hope everyone's doing well. i just so happened to stumble across an article that i think is very interesting, and relates to boobie issues

http://www.hugoschwyzer.net/2010/11/09/the...ith-obligation/

do you guys feel enormous pressure to be "sexy"? i know i certainly do!
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skindeep1991
post Dec 2 2011, 09:24 AM
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QUOTE(wondermist @ Dec 2 2011, 12:17 AM) *
skindeep, thank you very much for your advice. I've not thought about the losing weight thing in that perspective before, but thank you for enlightening me. How would you handle it when she keeps on denying your statements? Even when we say that she draws well, she always adamantly deny it.

She's socially... awkward.

I don't think I can associate very much with her anymore. She has hit me repeatedly and laughed afterwards, even if I tell her to stop. She would say in her sad voice and face "I'm sorry, do you hate me?" (For both situations where she has physically harmed me or has just upset me.) She has done this and smiled afterwards as if everything is a joke, making me unable to believe if she really is hurt or not.

Thank you very much for your help anyways. It's very much appreciated ^^


People who don't believe that they are attractive or whatever constantly deny it. It's just something they do. It could either be because they want to hear more compliments or people to insist or because they genuinely don't believe that they are any good at it.

Right firstly you should NEVER allow ANYONE to hurt you physically or not. You are not a punching bag for someone elses emotional issues. I don't care if she's your friend or not the fact that she is happy by upsetting you doesn't make her a friend in my books.
Also if you are angry or upset be angry and upset with her, don't pretend everything is fine just cause she puts on that stupid face or voice, Be angry with her let her know that she's officially pissed you off because there's no way she's gonna stop if you pretend everything is ok, If anything she's going to get worse. She's bullying you due to her insecurities no matter how you word it and you shouldn't accept that behavior. shout at her if you have to, put her in her place but don't take crap from her or anyone. Do not feel sorry for her either after she behaves like that, you have to think to yourself that she's enjoying hurting you probably because she's jealous of you. and if that's the case you should say to her 'seriously stop it, I don't care weather you're jealous of me or whatever but stop picking on me and hitting me you're pissing me off' she'll soon be quiet after you mention that she's jealous of you out loud.
Don't let her bring you down sweetie.

I had a 'best friend' exactly like this that used to pull me down literally from when i was 5 til I was 18 ....when we stopped talking she sent me a long horrible message that really upset me at first stating all my flaws. and when we were friends she used to always bring me down cause she was feeling shit, comparing our stomachs telling me I was fatter than her. saying things like 'what does it feel like to have small boobs like a boy? how do your boyfriends act with it?' etc...regardless of there home problems or mental state it is unacceptable to treat you that way especially when you're a friend that tries to help them.
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wondermist
post Dec 1 2011, 07:17 PM
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skindeep, thank you very much for your advice. I've not thought about the losing weight thing in that perspective before, but thank you for enlightening me. How would you handle it when she keeps on denying your statements? Even when we say that she draws well, she always adamantly deny it.

She's socially... awkward.

I don't think I can associate very much with her anymore. She has hit me repeatedly and laughed afterwards, even if I tell her to stop. She would say in her sad voice and face "I'm sorry, do you hate me?" (For both situations where she has physically harmed me or has just upset me.) She has done this and smiled afterwards as if everything is a joke, making me unable to believe if she really is hurt or not.

Thank you very much for your help anyways. It's very much appreciated ^^


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skindeep1991
post Dec 1 2011, 11:06 AM
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    QUOTE(wondermist @ Dec 1 2011, 05:14 AM) *
    Also, if anybody could help me out, it'd be much appreciated :C My friend has blatantly and repeatedly told me in front of our friends as well and in private about how "skinny" I am. I've tried to egg her on to be healthier in healthier ways if she really wanted to lose weight by saying that it's because I eat right and and exercise (which I do, though I do fudge on the eating a bit, haha). She has plantar fasciaitis. When I ask her to exercise with me, she refuses because of that foot problem, making it feel like an excuse. She tends to overeat a bit and leads a sedentary lifestyle. She also has depression and takes medication for it. She sometimes acts out as well, telling us she had to go to the ER after trying to kill herself by punching herself in the head repeatedly or showing us how she cut herself with scissors the night before.

    I'm at a loss on how to help her. I really do care about her, but I think that this may be too serious for me to handle. She has a therapist as well, but she keeps on telling me that it's her medication that is not well enough.


    Although she is a close friend and I'm sure you love her, I completely agree that this is too much for you to deal with especially on your own.

    In high school I had a friend with similar problems. It got to the point that she lied about being pregnant and having a miscarriage. In all honesty this friend of yours could be seeking attention that she feels like she needs, by acting out in such a way. I realize that depression doesn't come lightly and comfort eating is very much linked to depression, She could have reasons for not losing weight that you're not aware of, for example as this book has told me:
    Some women chose not to loose weight subconsciously as they feel like they've already failed because they're 'fat' so no one will expect them to succeed at anything. They will never feel in competition with other women if they are 'fat' so they keep it because its easier to hide behind the 'fat'.

    Personally as her friend and as someone who likes her. The best thing you can do about her complaining about her weight is encourage her to love herself the way she is. Mention all of the things about her that you think are gorgeous. Take her shopping and get her to try on some clothes that she likes but wouldn't ever try on due to her insecurities. Try an encourage her to feel comfortable in her own skin at the weight she currently is because although she says she hates her weight she may not want to lose weight and may just want self acceptance.

    Put yourself in her position if you feel unhappy with yourself and you talk to your friends about your problems, You wouldn't want to be made to feel worse about not dieting or more awkward about what you eat in front of people due to embarrassment you don't want to be hearing 'go the the gym and eat healthy'. You want your friends to say 'you're beautiful you shouldn't feel bad, you have a great ass and amazing eyes.' and for them to take you shopping or take you with them when they get there hair cut just to feel better about yourself as yourself. Not to tell you that you're only gonna be happy if you're someone else.

    You're an awesome friend to be concerned about her like this and I'd love to have friends like you in my life. Sorry if I wasn't much help but I have self conscious friends that I've taken out and we've completely re-vamped ourselves and they've felt so much better about themselves. Hey I've even done it with my mother hah.

    Also I know sometimes hanging out with someone that is depressed like that can bring you down as well so it's good that you have someone outside of your friendship group to talk about this matter with and get any feelings off of your chest because it can be a little full on at times.

    good luck hun xxx
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    wondermist
    post Dec 1 2011, 12:14 AM
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    I hope things perk up for you, Skindeep. Doing that exercise seems very frightening to me, but I'll try working towards it. You're very strong, seeing as I can't even bring myself to do it yet. I feel like we're very privileged that you are able to tell us this.

    Strongirl's article was very wonderful. I think the tips are really great! I've never really thought about body image in this way before. The article hits home. I've almost had every thought listed! The way it ended made me feel happy >u< <3 I feel kind of good now after reading it. smile.gif

    Vendetta, your work is absolutely MESMERIZING! *_*


    My friends think I'm really weird, as I tend to say "I love myself the most" or "I'm my best friend"! Also, if anybody could help me out, it'd be much appreciated :C My friend has blatantly and repeatedly told me in front of our friends as well and in private about how "skinny" I am. I've tried to egg her on to be healthier in healthier ways if she really wanted to lose weight by saying that it's because I eat right and and exercise (which I do, though I do fudge on the eating a bit, haha). She has plantar fasciaitis. When I ask her to exercise with me, she refuses because of that foot problem, making it feel like an excuse. She tends to overeat a bit and leads a sedentary lifestyle. She also has depression and takes medication for it. She sometimes acts out as well, telling us she had to go to the ER after trying to kill herself by punching herself in the head repeatedly or showing us how she cut herself with scissors the night before.

    I'm at a loss on how to help her. I really do care about her, but I think that this may be too serious for me to handle. She has a therapist as well, but she keeps on telling me that it's her medication that is not well enough.


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    strongirl
    post Nov 30 2011, 07:08 PM
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    Oh Vendetta, your work is AMAZING!!!! You are extremely talented and I really enjoyed looking through your portfolio! The first shot with the single eye is incredible. I loved the one of the slide! (you have such a strong vision to see that perspective...I just wanted to slide down it!) Very impressive. Thanks so much for sharing!

    Dear Skindeep, how I wish we could go on a walk together, listen and talk, and I would give you a huge hug! I'm sorry you were reduced to tears. Please please keep trying. Follow the instructions very closely when you do the exercises - it is about seeing yourself through different eyes, without the harsh judgmental filters that we've all been taught to put between us and our beautiful bodies. I remember when I first started doing the exercises and it said to find a part of myself that I liked and focus on that, the only thing I could see without feeling self-loathing was my eyes. And when I looked myself in the eye, it made me cry too. But as I kept doing it, I started feeling the filters drop...and I started liking what I saw, not all at once but in bits and pieces. Please be gentle with yourself, friend, and give it time.

    On the topic of distorted body image, I came upon this yesterday:
    http://www.huffingtonpost.com/margaret-whe..._b_1118627.html

    Click on the link that says "not very often". It's a much more substantial article and wow, eye opening.

    P.S. I may not post much in the immediate future, I'll be traveling in Hawaii and no internet. smile.gif
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    _Vendetta
    post Nov 30 2011, 10:52 AM
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    Hello girls, some of you may remember me. Just wanted to share my photography portfolio with you since I was a serious "poster" on this forum years ago.

    I don't post here anymore but I still feel the same as I did then (I don't think about it that often but I still wish I was different on that department) and whenever I think about it I drag my camera out with me. It has been like therapy.

    Best wishes

    http://dl.dropbox.com/u/4298369/mariarita_portfolio_web.pdf
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    kikyochan
    post Nov 29 2011, 11:14 PM
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    Thank you every one so much for all your replies! They were very funny, witty and helpful. You guys are a great group of gals.
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    KeraBear
    post Nov 29 2011, 10:39 PM
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    Hi kikyochan!

    Hey, wow, i actually think your complaint is common about like 90 percent of 13-year-olds. LOL  Well, except for the other 10 percent that have big breasts in which case they are probably jealous of YOU. While i was complaining about my booblets when i was 13, i had friends who were mortified about their C cups. i think at that age nobody really likes their bodies period. But i would like to echo the thoughts of my friends here in that you are probably not done growing yet.  I was also a AA cup till late high school and i had pretty much given up hope.  But then i went up to an A cup, and yeah, like Doscowombat was saying - Not much, but i was still pretty thrilled! ha ha

    i guess my best advice to you is to read over this forum, and go backwards because there is a looooooot of good stuff here over the months... and years, depending on how much time you want to devote to the archives ha ha.  in the meantime, work on the self boobie love. smile.gif

    Skindeep... hang in there, girl. You're beautiful. Anybody who says otherwise obviously doesn't know you very well and clearly lacks credibility on such matters.

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    discowombat
    post Nov 29 2011, 06:28 PM
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    QUOTE(wondermist @ Nov 27 2011, 08:26 PM) *
    Also, and I say this with a great disclaimer, bodies don't tend to finish growing until 21 or so


    I gotta agree. I had AA cups from the time I was 14 until I was 20 and then they suddenly got quite swollen and sore for about a week. When they stopped being sore I had gone up a cup size, and they stayed that way. I know an A cup still isn't a lot but I was thrilled! The odd thing is that I wasn't on birth control and I hadn't gained any weight. I was a late bloomer, so I guess my body finally decided to finish the job when I was nearly 21. Even being an early bloomer I doubt you are completely done yet and remember there are many girls out there that would kill to have small C cups!
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    skindeep1991
    post Nov 29 2011, 01:48 PM
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    QUOTE(kikyochan @ Nov 27 2011, 07:03 PM) *
    Hey! I am thirteen, and I am having a diffucult time accepting that my boobs are never going to grow past being a small c cup. (I've finished growing). Any advice on how to accept my body as it is?


    Heya hun 13 is too young to say you've stopped growing, You're a gorgeous young lady and you have plenty of time for them to grow and if they don't grow anymore you shouldn't feel bad about them. Small breasts are sexy, Just own those babies.

    on another note guys... I've been reading fat is a feminist issue, There was this exercise to do which was standing in front of the mirror ( I chose to do it naked )and just looking at yourself and not judging ( a lot easier said than done ) and it made me see how I am a lot bigger than I thought I was and its the first time my reflection has reduced me to tears. I don't know if it is a good thing or not but I feel like crap....
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