[Muffy]

starship, Good luck with the new friend! I don't think there is anything wrong with being a teacher, that's what I'm going to school for. I actually just recently went back to school for secondary education. While money always seems to be on people's minds, I sometimes think following what is going to make you happy and fulfilled should also be in mind when choosing a career option.

thirtiesgirl, I've heard as that one's personality type changes, however I never took one until I was older so who knows what I was prior. I also think one tends to know themselves better as they age... so maybe one can really stop and evaluate themselves better when answering the questions in a personality assessment test?

[neurotic.nelly]

starship, i love your new avatar! (eta: i've been meaning to tell you this for awhile). High fives to you for finding a new buddy that is more like you, that rocks, I so want that right now...

[starship]

!You know what I was placed in a special needs class in kindergarten, because I was slightly younger, I didn't seem to be picking up on things - I actually just had a reading problem, and I was a really shy kid.

This reminded me of the time I cut my head when I was 7. I was so quiet that the paramedic thought I had serious concusion and I ended up in hospital having all sorts of scans and whatnot...

I also got the '..but too quiet' thing on report cards. Every single year, without fail. 'Needs to speak up more in class' or 'should contribute more to class discussions' were also a firm favourites. I think thirtiesgirl is right about the negative connotations of such remarks. The other day I was told by a relative that I was 'a lovely child and so quiet'. It seemed so alien to hear that description of my personality in a positive tone for a change.
And nooo, thirtiesgirl, please don't shut up. Your insight is always fascinating:)

Im a law student but definately dont think an actually law-based career is for me. I'm not yet sure which direction I'll go in. If I was 100% honest my ideal job would be looking after children in some way- a pre-school teacher or something. I've never really talked about it with people but it's always been an idea at the back of my head. For some reason I feel embarassed by this though?! I feel as though I've been pushed into a more 'professional' route simply because I have the capabilities...I don't mind studying as it's been beneficial for me but I can't picture myself at that level long-term

Oh and moving around definately hindered my social relationships knorl. If we had stayed put then Id almost definately have a close group of friends. It's much easier to talk to people you've known a while or share backgrounds with. If conversation gets sparse you can talk about an event from the past/laugh about an old joke/discuss someone you both know. Plus it's hard to integrate into a group that's already established. I think moving away from close friends for the second time depressed me a little and I almost couldnt be bothered to make the effort all over again

I wish I could reply properly to what everyone said but it was so interesting that Ive just spent too long reading it all that now Im kinda rushed...

I met some new people recently! One of them could easily be an honorary member of this board. I'm stupidly happy about having someone as understanding as you guys in real life:). Strangely the fact that he knows how shy/awkward/anxious I am makes me less of all those things when I'm around him. The other's a more romantically-orientated relationship. I don't want a proper bf but the prospect of having a partner in crime to get out&about with is nice...

(((all of you)))

[thirtiesgirl]

Welcome thirtiesgirl, i read your first post and found it very very interesting, indeed. Your posts are very informative and a positive addition to this thread!

I have not taken the Myers-Briggs test, but I will try to find a free one thanks to thirtiesgirl for posting the linky.

Aw, thanks for the positive vibes. I sometimes worry that I'm going to come off as too pedantic, so if I am, please tell me to shut the hell up and I'll gladly do so. I know it's just part of my make up. I didn't become a school counselor for nothing...but obviously, I don't get to do enough of what I love at work.

When I was in elementary school, all of my report cards said that I was "too quiet". I got satisfactory grades, but I was "too quiet". I was never placed in any special or gifted classes, but I remember one year, in an attempt to get my out of my shell, I got to do some art therapy with a therapist once a week. I enjoyed working with her, it was fun, and who knows, maybe it did help because I recall being more vocal and popular in fifth grade than all the other grades.

See, this just confirms how so many westernized societies value extroversion over introversion, ours in particular. Even as kids, being "too quiet" is a bad thing...or, at least, not exactly a good one. It's seen as a problem, rather than encouraged. Teachers rarely say of the quiet kids, "I know Nelly's thinking very deeply about what we talked about in class, and when she's ready to give us an answer, I'm sure she'll be very perceptive." It's always "speak up," "give me an answer even if you don't think it's right," etc. Which is often not helpful for introverted kids, and teaches them that their introverted nature is 'not good.'

That's cool you got to do art therapy, though. I studied it a little in grad school and it sounds like a lot of fun.

[neurotic.nelly]

Welcome thirtiesgirl, i read your first post and found it very very interesting, indeed. Your posts are very informative and a positive addition to this thread!

I have not taken the Myers-Briggs test, but I will try to find a free one thanks to thirtiesgirl for posting the linky.

When I was in elementary school, all of my report cards said that I was "too quiet". I got satisfactory grades, but I was "too quiet". I was never placed in any special or gifted classes, but I remember one year, in an attempt to get my out of my shell, I got to do some art therapy with a therapist once a week. I enjoyed working with her, it was fun, and who knows, maybe it did help because I recall being more vocal and popular in fifth grade than all the other grades.

But really, I remember having quiet periods and feisty periods all throughout school. I am still the same way today. I can be really loud and gregarious and really really quiet and awkward with people. My family is loud and gregarious, so no matter how gregarious and loud I am, I am still an overwhelmingly quiet person compared to them, and I have always felt out of place because of this. My mom is a social butterfly, always talking and laughing and telling jokes and making friends, and I think I probably take after my dad, who was an artist and somewhat pensive and troubled. I was raised primarily by my mom, so I'll never really know how much I take after my dad or his family. But, that little description of him is more like me. My mom is none of those.

lilacwine, double good luck vibes to you on the job hunt. A career in Archeology sounds like fascinating and appropriate fit for an introvert. Yay! for choosing a career that sustains and supports you! I know, that I had better choose my career appropriately because I get severely depressed if I have to work a job and deal with people that I loathe.

See, I am not sure what I want to do, yet, 100%, but most people don't either. I have decided to do what feels right, and I know I will be led to my life's vocation. I am a late bloomer and it's cool with me.

Knorl05, I have thought about a career in art therapy too, but I never really dove in because I don't know that much about art, and I have been floundering on my big career move. I know the healing arts is going to be IT, but I am not sure which one to grab by the horns yet.

freckleface, this, "of course, I also have always wanted to move to a cottage on Lake Michigan or the ocean, and be semi-reclusive & maybe open a small bookstore w/ a cat & a fireplace & only sell books I like" sounds amazing! One of my dreams is to have a small farm in a small but cultured town, and raise some goats and chickens, and have some horses and dogs. My boyfriend and I would be authors, so we could sustain our small farm. Then we'd go to art galleries and music shows at night.

I want to write more, but i am pooped and this is long enough... so I will save it for later.

(((socially awkward busties)))

[thirtiesgirl]

I took the Myers-Brigg test and it says I'm an INTP, with very strong introverted tendencies. It also says I tend to be quiet and hard to get to know well, which is true. I think I took it once before in college, but all I remember about that outcome is I scored very highly for being an introvert.

Lilac, you might want to read about your personality type on this link and see if it still fits for you. The link also has information on what careers might be good for different personality types, which might be good for you to check out since you're currently thinking about careers.

Our personality types often change as we grow and change as people. That's why I suggest reading about your type again to see if you feel it still fits you. If not, you might want to retake the test and see if you get a result that fits you better. There are links to several free tests on this site. Scroll down the page and you'll find them.

I took the Myers-Briggs test a few times in high school and college, and always tested as an INFP (Introverted iNtuitive Feeling Perceiving), but when I read the descriptions of an INFP, it didn't really seem like me. Years later in grad school, I took the test again and scored as a INTP, which (if memory serves) I felt described me best. The last couple times I've taken the test, I've scored as an INTJ, which I don't feel fits me as well as INTP, but maybe I'm at a point in my life right now where I'm using my skills of judgment more than my skills of perception. Maybe you're at a different place in your life now, too.

[Muffy]

I'm INFJ

knorl05, Good question. When I was a kid I wanted to be a dancer or a fashion designer or a model... I went to college for art and graphic design. I had a few jobs as a graphic designer, one as a photo assistant, a few jobs as a waitress, and one as a gallery associate. Right now, I volunteer at a different art gallery and work as their public relations person and I work retail. I'm also a painter. Despite having problems making friends and meeting people, I've been told I'm good at these very socially related positions. I think when I'm at work or even volunteering I go into 'work mode' where I do it because that's what I have to do. If I'm out and about I kind of go into my own little world, especially if I'm out minus friends. I'd really prefer to have a studio in my house and just paint. I can't decide if I want a commune in the middle of nowhere or if I'd like to live in a big city where I could walk everywhere and wouldn't need to kill the environment with having to drive everywhere - I have to get in my car to go anywhere because I live too far to walk anywhere now.

"life is the journey, not the destination" good motto.


lilacwine13, Good luck with the job hunt, it is awful out there! You know what I was placed in a special needs class in kindergarten, because I was slightly younger, I didn't seem to be picking up on things - I actually just had a reading problem, and I was a really shy kid. My parents were not informed when they pulled me out, which I don't think would happen now. I told them, though I had been in the class for like a month before I told them. I didn't understand at the time it was a special needs class, I just know it was different and I didn't like it and we didn't do much art, which really pissed me off. My parents had to sign all kinds of paperwork to get me out of the class and back into a regular classroom.

[lilacwine13]

Wow, there is a lot to respond to.

So I'm back in my hometown, and I'm being a recluse. I don't feel like going out and there really isn't any place for me to go that isn't a bar or a store. I miss Arizona a little bit, and am trying to find a job so I can leave or at least pay off some bills. (The company I was working for laid me off.) I know of a couple of people I was friends with in high school in the area, I have their numbers, but I'm scared to call them.

Job-wise, I'm starting out a career in archeology. I'm good at finding stuff, I like the people I've worked with, and the work itself seems to be a good fit with my personality. However, it involves a lot of trying to make business connections, schmoozing, and I'm not good at either one of those things. My previous jobs were office jobs, then there was a ton of odd jobs I worked before that, mainly seasonal, mainly hospitality, half the time I just wanted to go to someplace fabulous and live there for a summer. I feel like I've figured out what I want to do, I just hope that I'm taking the right path to it and that I have enough time to complete it.

School was kinda funny. In kindergarten, because I didn't speak a lot, they put me in the special needs program for a while. When they noticed that I did speak up there (smaller group, more individual attention), they pulled me out because while I may have problems interacting socially, I didn't have any problems learning. The next year, they tested everyone to see what grade level they were performing at, then I was put into the gifted program because I tested high. It didn't make me any more outcast than I already was, so I'm pretty much neutral on it.

I took the Myers-Brigg test and it says I'm an INTP, with very strong introverted tendencies. It also says I tend to be quiet and hard to get to know well, which is true. I think I took it once before in college, but all I remember about that outcome is I scored very highly for being an introvert.

[knorl05]

ah! yes, me too freckleface! retail, service industry, independent shops, direct care, real estate... searching and trying to find my niche. and shit, i'm still figuring that out..

"small green-goods type store, cottage on Lake Michigan or the ocean, to be semi-reclusive, maybe open a small bookstore w/ a cat & a fireplace & only sell books you like, or to be a lifestyles-type collumnist"... all amazingly worth-while endeavors, definitely of which i can relate. my good friends have always given me the same advice, and although it's not as easy as it sounds, it's still good advice nonetheless: just do it. i've noticed, when i support my friends and their ideas, i'm always like, YES, go for it. but for myself i feel it's not as simple, i think because i make things too complicated sometimes. someone once told me >> dissect your goals down to workable steps. and i can totally dig that - to have a specific idea of what we want, and then to break it down to simpler parts, makes the overall goal much more attainable. i think as long as we stay focused on what we want, and enjoy ourselves along the way, we are able to create a very fulfilling human experience for ourselves. because if we live our lives according to our own ideals, we will always find new goals of which to strive. and we've all heard it before, but i feel it necessary to repeat, "life is the journey, not the destination".

oh ps. one of my girlfriends has decided that her love for fashion and writing will best be applied to fashion journalism. i think it's important to not only know what we like and what we're good at, but also to be able to meld our interests into workable goals. for instance, i feel my love for art and helping people, will best be applied to being an art therapist. now if only, i could stay dedicated to it!

((socially unique busties))

[freckleface7]

hey, all who wander are not lost.

have i already addressed this question: what do all the socially unique do for a living.. and how closely does that match up with your dreams.. or what you wanted to be when you grew up?

I love that knorl, and so True.

right now I mooche off the mr, but in the past I've worked retail, and as a florist, and as a wine seller, and way before that as a Grist Miller/historical interpreter and a special ed teacher's aide, all very outwardly interactive jobs. I also went to, but did not graduate from, Real Estate school ( I am an architecture junkie) however, the older I get, the less patience I tend to have to work so "out."

what I want to do, which currently I cannot for some complicated reasons, is to be a lifestyles-type collumnist for a newspaper.
after the mr retires from the Army (4 years next month!) maybe open a small green-goods type store with him, but I don't see that as a reality bc it would cost so much and we have NO idea yet where we may end up moving to.

of course, I also have always wanted to move to a cottage on Lake Michigan or the ocean, and be semi-reclusive & maybe open a small bookstore w/ a cat & a fireplace & only sell books I like.
le sigh.

[knorl05]

ty starship.. that was neato. i'm just interested to hear the background of others with whom i can relate. it's amazing how both nurture and nature seem to play large roles in our individuality.. as well as the aspect of self-determination. i think as kids we're more at the mercy of our circumstances simply because we dont know any better. i've noticed in many of my friends that things like moving around a lot, parents getting divorced, or growing up in a rural town tended to leave them feeling fragmented &or isolated. and i totally understand about starting habits of not speaking in certain situations.. especially when you feel like all the normal, surface stuff is just not that important (or its downright boring). and then, if you didnt grow up with a group of people and dont have a whole ton in common with them, it's difficult to get on the same page. i notice that still.. when i make friends with people who have a large clique of friends, i tend to feel a bit awkward looking for something to talk about with all of them because i work better having one-on-one conversations. perhaps i developed that habit as a kid? or maybe that's just the way i prefer to interact... i like conversation to be progressive, which can be difficult when everyone is talking about something else. i also like to gain insight from different types of people, so i wont lock myself into only one group. that transcends into my interests as well. so even though i'm rather content with how i am, i get down when i feel everyone else seems to have such specific ideas of what life is about, while i'm left searching.. but hey, all who wander are not lost.

kon: "..by the time she finished telling me about everything, my face was red as a beet." oooh. sorry dear. i have been there as well.

faerietails: yeah i guess i'd be an avocado whore then. mmm. yummy buttery goodness. with salt sprinkled on top. i can eat a whole avocado like it's a fruit. (oh wait-eta: apparently avocado is a fruit/berry, but i've always considered it a veggie. ha).

have i already addressed this question: what do all the socially unique do for a living.. and how closely does that match up with your dreams.. or what you wanted to be when you grew up?

[starship]

if you havent mentioned it already, what were your peer relationships like in school?

When I first started school I always played with the boys. I had a brother and boy cousins at home so i guess that was more natural to me. Plus I was the stereotypical blond hair/blue eyed/freckled little girl so usually had a 'boyfriend' to hold hands with on the carpet during storytime lol. Then I got glasses and Im guessing the boys no longer wanted to play with me because I seem to remember hanging around with the dinner-ladies a lot. At the time I was content with that though and didnt even think I was different:/. Junior school (7-11) I was actually in the popular group and although I was quiet didnt really care what people thought still so got on fine. Then we moved towns but I managed to make a group of really good close friends. A few years later we moved again. I was 14 and found it tough and went into my shell. I still somehow had a group to hang around with as well as friends in each class. But I'd literally sit with them all lunchtime and not say one word- I have no idea how or why they put up with me. It was like that for my last two years at school, I really liked them but felt kind of intimidated plus it was a bigger group than I was used to so I just erm became an honourary mute. I think those two years really knocked my confidence and started some bad habits of just not speaking in certain situations

yikes, sorry for the life story:/

freckleface- I think they can have both positives and negatives. A lot of the other kids in the group bonded through being pushed together and told they were similar, but at the same time ostracized themselves from the rest of their peers by becoming a more compounded group. Personally I didn't feel I had much in common with the other people in the group- they were very focused academically and enthusiastic about the whole thing. I on the other hand didn't see why I should be punished for doing well (that's how I saw it at the time). Kind of emphasised the fact that I didn't fit in anywhere for me. And as Someone already struggling to fit in at the time I didn't really appreciate the overt distinction made between me and most of the people I was trying to be friends with. I don't think the fact that we were rewarded with extra trips etc helped matters particularly. I'm sure there were a lot of students who had worked harder and deserved those privileges more than me so I thought it was kind of unfair (as I'm sure they did). To be honest I think it depends on the particular school and the degree of emphasis they put on the segregation of the 'gifted' students. The rest of the group made some friends and I played it down to my friends so its effect on me was minimal. Education-wise such programs can probably be beneficial but socially they're more of a hinderance. I noticed the other kids became deterred from friendships with people outside the group which probably disadvantaged them both outside of the classroom and after leaving school
I doubt my limited experience of it has been much help but it sounds an interesting paper nonetheless. What were you main arguments?

[konphusion26]

Yesterday was pretty awkward. Had some folks come over after church. A few of which we've never hung out with before. They're a pretty wild couple. I just felt out of place in my own home. I'm not a loud person, I don't do small talk well, I'm not very open about speaking of my sex life. And they were all into that kinda stuff. I'm just like whooooa! lol Don't know if we can be around them too much. The woman did invite me to her bachelorette party which will include a sex toy presentation and a stripper... by the time she finished telling me about everything, my face was red as a beet. I think they may be a little tooooo wild for me. But if that's what they like, and they are comfortable with themselves - so be it. My husband is more sociable than I am, but I could see the look on his face when the guy was talkin about strippers at his bachelor party. He's just not with all that. So I guess he was pretty uncomfortable too. He really doesn't have any friends here, except maybe 2 or 3 (if that). And he was interested in getting to know this one guy so they could hang out and do "man things" while the women hang out. I just don't know if he and that guy will connect like that. They're polar opposites. They do have computers and electronics stuff in common. That's about it.

[faerietails]

lol, pugs! i've done that before, saying "i've become a zucchini whore" (meaning i've recently become obsessed with eating and cooking zucchini). the looks i got from those people...

lately at work i've been looking at numbers on the register (when i'm supposed to announce the total to the customer) and just been like, "ummmm...can't. understand. what. these. numbers. mean." (while they're looking at the price on the other side of the register). i feel like such a loser when that happens. i'm such a spazz.

[knorl05]

lol LMP! i have a similar story. in hs spanish class i had to make a sentence with the verb, to blow. i was at a loss - i wasnt sure what soplar meant, so the classclown whispered to me "yo soplo mi perro", which translated into english means, "i blow my dog". ahh. we all had a good laugh at that one.

freckleface7: i have heard that argument before as well.. that to exhault the children, or somehow make them different, leaves them vulnerable to isolation, teasing, misunderstanding, etc. in addition to leaving the "normal" kids feeling unseen or not special. i would be interested to hear any research or thoughts that would go along with that..
and sorry to hear you are not feeling well. not everyone gets into meditation, but i swear by it. helps to clear out the garbage that we pick up on in the day to day, which can leave us feeling a bit overwhelmed. that as well as positive reinforcement.. if not only from your loved ones but also from yourself: positive self-talk does wonders.

starship: i could see how a one-on-one session could help, especially if the rest of the class was at a different level, or the class curriculum was not challenging to you. my grades were always good/average but the special attention i got was for my art. not as a program or anything, my teachers would just take me aside and have me work on special projects for them for the class. i liked it. and i was never teased or picked on in grade school either... i was just fine being the eccentric kid, well-adjusted, bright, and weird, because it was fun. but middle and hs were a different story: the concerns that adolescence brings can make girls pretty mean/catty/jealous, and it didnt help that i hung out with some of the girls that would tease other people and couldnt trust them. makes me wish i just stayed true to being a weirdo and associated only with other weirdo artists and creative types. gah. the more you know...
if you havent mentioned it already, what were your peer relationships like in school?

oh and thirtiesgirl: i have also previously taken the test.. but i'll have to retake it. think i was like INFP or something?
(eta: after retaking, "Your Type is INFP Introverted Intuitive Feeling Perceiving")

[LoveMyPugs]

today at lunch, everyone was passing around their cellphones with pictures of their dogs. i was just oooo'ing and ahhh'ing and squealing at all of them. one of the guys was like, "I'm just not a dog person."

I replied (not thinking I know), "I'm a total dog whore." MEANING I LOVE ALL DOGS!! NOT THAT I LIKE TO FUCK DOGS OR ANYTHING!!

Well, of course I got a look from him, and the dude three seats down was like, "That was totally random."

Whatever....I'm a social dork I know.

[freckleface7]

this is going to sound bizzare.. but my Sr year (high school) Term Paper was ' The Negative Affects of Gifted & Talented Programs.' and I knew what I wanted to say.. but could not articulate my arguments well enough to support it and resulted in getting a D- on the paper, really, a gift, bc it Was written badly. however- I always felt I was on to something so I am really curious about your response starship. (it's ok to prove me wrong too)


I am doing ok.. got some meds that are working so/so and enough that I can leave the house for short errands now which is progress but the rest? meh. not so hot.
I feel like humpty dumpty all scattered into pieces.

am going to re-take that meyers briggs test later, to see if I score differently Now as opposed to before ( I think I was INJE or something like that).

muffy: "One of my professors was telling the class one day that they actually teach children social skills in schools now... like AS kids or other children that may have learning problems and being social. They end up making friends with each other so at least the kids aren't left out entirely. I don't think it would be an entirely bad thing to teach all kids social skills." that is so refreshing to hear. i'm glad that the importance of social skills is being addressed in schools, and that not all emphasis is being placed on memorizing facts. it's good to see that kids will be able to leave the school system with some usable information to apply to their interpersonal relationships.

starship: what did that label do for you? being put into the 'gifted' group.. did it make you feel good to be included in that unique group or did it make you feel ostracized from the rest of the class?

[starship]

People have talked about that test on here before but I could never find a link to take it

I am INFJ (& 100% introvert lol)
'Life is not necessarily easy for the INFJ' sheesh, tell me about it. I'd say most fo what I read was pretty accurate. Thanks for the link:)
Oh, and we've only had one season too which makes a nice change. It amused me how most of my peers related more to Penny and I was left sympathising with the nerdy guys

Knorl- it wasn't really a big deal at the time, I just found it a little odd. We weren't so much segregated into another group but were made members of. We had to meet for either 1-on-1 sessions or as a group and were given extra assignments or projects. I didn't consider myself particularly gifted though; just did well in exams. I think they just felt guilty because my school wasn't a particularly good one and so we were often left working at a lower&slower pace for the sake of other students. I've just realised what a miracle it is that I was never bullied- shy, quiet, skinny, pale kid labelled as 'gifted' :/

[thirtiesgirl]

For anyone interested in further information on whether you're introverted or extroverted, or maybe somewhere in between (most of us have a little of both, and there are times when I can extrovert myself, depending on the situation), check out this link. (I'm a school counselor, so it's ok. I'm not making you click on anything bad.) It's the typelogic.com webpage. If you scroll down the page to the Tests section, they have links for a couple of different free tests you can take to check out your "personality type." I prefer the 72 question Jung typology test (the first one on the list), but if you'd prefer to try a shorter test, the last bullet point (the Bloginality test) is I think only 4 questions long.

Each test will give you specific results based on your 'personality type' revealed by your answers to the test. The results are based on the 16 Myers-Briggs personality types which some of you may have studied or heard of before. Myers-Briggs personality types are discussed in many school programs, and often used on job sites by some corporations or at professional development seminars. According to Myers-Briggs, there are 16 personality types, such as INTJ, ENFP, INST, ESTJ, etc. Each letter stands for a particular attribute. In the past several years, I've most frequently tested as an INTJ, which stands for Introverted ~ iNtuitive ~ Thinking ~ Judging. The first letter of your personality 'score' will tell you whether you're more Introverted or Extroverted. If I was an *E*NTJ, my personality type would be Extroverted ~ iNtuitive ~ Thinking ~ Judging (they use N for iNtuitive, so it doesn't get confused with the I for Introverted). S = Sensing, P = Perceiving, F = Feeling, etc.

You can find some descriptions of the 16 personality types with this link, without having to take a test if you're not into that. Enjoy!

[knorl05]

yeah i have found i really have no trouble making small talk.. i can do it, i just prefer not to. usually i focus on the other person's interests and let them lead the conversation. some times i'll end up having some pretty great conversations with complete strangers. once, during a late night run to ram's horn, i ran into an older woman who gave me some pointers on saving and investing money. mind you, i did not go into ram's horn with the desire to do anything more than order my food and go.. but i was open to her curiousity and conversational advancements, and i left feeling pretty good in the end to have made a connection that i would not have, had i gone in and simply ordered my food.

since i began working in the service industry/sales/retail.. dealing with the general public.. it allowed me the opportunity to develop my social skills. i put myself in positions which forced me to break out of my shyness. i got to the point that i was considered very outgoing, but as with the difference between introverts and extroverts (which thirtiesgirl pointed out).. it really drained me. now, being 30 and working less stressful positions, i have returned to my introverted nature and been allowing myself to go with whatever i feel i need as an individual. my priority is not to make something work that isnt working (ie, to follow conventional social roles) but rather to refine my gifts, cultivate my soul, gain life experience, connect with others deeply and genuinely, etc.

muffy: "One of my professors was telling the class one day that they actually teach children social skills in schools now... like AS kids or other children that may have learning problems and being social. They end up making friends with each other so at least the kids aren't left out entirely. I don't think it would be an entirely bad thing to teach all kids social skills." that is so refreshing to hear. i'm glad that the importance of social skills is being addressed in schools, and that not all emphasis is being placed on memorizing facts. it's good to see that kids will be able to leave the school system with some usable information to apply to their interpersonal relationships.

starship: what did that label do for you? being put into the 'gifted' group.. did it make you feel good to be included in that unique group or did it make you feel ostracized from the rest of the class?