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> small breast support group - (I need it even if they don't)
babyblue
post May 5 2011, 06:26 PM
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QUOTE(DeeRayy @ May 4 2011, 11:12 PM) *
haha, welcome back baby blue! i was wondering where you went. I'm really surprised that you have entered a support group thread for small breasts because you seem very together. i admire your upbeat attitude smile.gif


Thank you! smile.gif I have good and bad days... I always try to remain upbeat, though. When I was in my teens/early twenties, the bad days occured exponentially more often than the good ones. As I've learned more about myself, I've found that if I can focus on the things I love about me, then the things of which I'm less fond (*cough* boobs *cough*) don't hold as much importance. I don't have many girlfriends, but I have noticed an overarching theme through all of the female friendships I've had: Even the girls who have the "perfect" bodies that I would DIE for have what they consider to be a "problem area." My gorgeous, lithe, full B-cup BFF hates her thighs and wishes she had more muscle tone. My model-thin, C-cup sister bitches about her "flat ass." Of course, we're our own harshest critics. For this reason, compliments can definitely take us by surprise. The lady in the bathroom who told you that you're pretty, DeeRayy, was simply viewing you from an outsider's perspective. People won't always be so forthcoming, but I'm sure plenty of people share that woman's opinion!

Don't let all my positivity fool you, though. I can be a real hot mess sometimes! wink.gif I joined this group because I've always felt alone in my breastless frustration, and it is such sweet relief to know that I'm not.

As for the swimsuit issue, I see small-breasted women rocking the padded, push-up bikini tops on the beach, but I have never seen any such thing in my size! I stick with the unlined triangles, like strongirl mentioned. I LOVE Target (in general, but also for swimsuit shopping) because they actually allow you to purchase tops and bottoms separately. They don't always have XS tops, but I find that their Small size is usually perfect for me. Also, their bottoms are cut nicely for the most part. I'm not feeling the impossibly high-cut briefs with the 25-inch crotch... Who looks good in those?? I used to go for the more modest tops (as if I was really covering up the fact that I'm built like an adolescent, haha) but I've realized that the tinier triangles actually work to create the illusion of cleavage! I lived in the Miami area for 12 years, so I have definitely done some major swimwear experiments! Pretty sure South Beach is my own personal hell, though. EVERY woman seems to have canteloupe-sized implants, and many of them roam around topless. I went there with a boyfriend once, and I have never more strongly yearned for the ability to melt into a puddle of liquid WTF and wash myself away from a situation. Ugh, just thinking about it makes me feel stabby to this day...
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strongirl
post May 5 2011, 07:36 AM
Post #562


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Thanks, Kera! smile.gif

Deeray - so glad you're having a good week! Yay!

A couple thoughts for you. Compliments can't substitute for self-esteem but they can help build it, especially when one's self-concept is negatively distorted to begin with - take it, enjoy it, use it to get in touch with the reality of how beautiful you really are. And be generous with the compliments you give out, too.

Just a thought re. the counselor, who sounds clueless when it comes to your issues - it may be more empowering for you to fire her than go again. Think about it at least.

On swimsuits, yes, I have problems wearing swimsuits...because I'd rather be naked at a clothes optional beach, LOL! But if I do have to wear one, I go for the skimpiest, least constructed little numbers to show off my toned body and lack of stretchmarks. On top, I love triangle tops and they're really popular right now - I go for unpadded but I find that the slight "bunching" or vertical wrinkles of the fabric (since the cups are always too big on me to be smooth and tight) gives the illusion of just a bit more size to my boobs.
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DeeRayy
post May 4 2011, 11:12 PM
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haha, welcome back baby blue! i was wondering where you went. I'm really surprised that you have entered a support group thread for small breasts because you seem very together. i admire your upbeat attitude smile.gif

i also receive comments on how i look young for my age, especially when i'm not wearing any makeup or when my hair is left in its natural curls. i haaaate it now that i'm only a teenager but i just keep saying to myself "when i'm older, i'll love those kind of remarks!" and p.s. kera, i used to milk it too by buying youth admission tickets to the movie theaters. muahaha!

well this week has actually been a good week for me. the first good week in a while, as a matter of fact! i just got a new hairstyle and i've been getting lots of compliments, which is nice. some random lady at denny's even told me that i was pretty in the bathroom, which never happens to me! haha. but it still feels weird taking a compliment, and i try not to rely so much on other people's appoval. nonetheless, it's quite nice to hear.

but anyways, i'm also benefiting from a student health organization i'm involved in that has recently been putting on a lot of body image events lately. the most recent one that i volunteered at was a dive in movie, where "hairspray" was being shown on a screen next to one of the campus pools. now i am not trying to stereotype [excuse me if I offend anyone with this next comment] but the majority of students at my school are asian, and sooo i saw many girls there that were petite up top, like me. and i guess admiring the beauty of their bodies helped me see that small breasts are just as beautiful as any other kind. just seeing so many body types period made me feel better. i still wouldn't wear a swimsuit in public, but i'm working on it!

but uggghhh i have my next appointment with my darn counselor again this friday. this may very well be my last appointment with her if it's anything like last time.

i will leave here with my usual question for the group-
swimsuit season is coming up. do you have any problem wearing one? especially since they are all so low cut? and, what kind of swimsuits are best for small breasted women?
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KeraBear
post May 4 2011, 07:52 PM
Post #564


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Yeah, Strongirl! Still rocking it at almost 50!!!!!!! smile.gif

I think i mentioned this before, but when I was a freshman in high school, I would always be handed kids menus when I was out at restaurant. Embarrassing? Hell yeah! But not gonna lie, it was easy on the pocketbook. smile.gif
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strongirl
post May 3 2011, 09:08 PM
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Hi Babyblue, welcome back, glad you're able to contribute again!

Houdini boob effect???!!! LOL That's too funny. Mine have always been "now you see 'em, now you don't" since I can gain and lose almost a cup size with hormonal changes, not just weight gain/loss.

As for the "youthful" look, I've never disliked it but as the "granny" of this group at almost 50, I REALLY appreciate it now. I consistently get mistaken for being in my late twenties or early thirties (happened earlier today with my mom's doctor). It's pretty sweet. I think I'd look more matronly now if I had big boobs.



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babyblue
post May 1 2011, 05:23 PM
Post #566


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I feel as though I've missed so much!!! I got locked out of my account somehow, and BUST sent me a series of non-working passwords. Mega annoying!

I know I'm a bit late on this, but...

QUOTE(DeeRayy @ Apr 22 2011, 05:35 PM) *
I went ahead and told her why I came and we started talking about my issues with my breasts and why they affect me so much and she says this to me,
"I can see why it's such a struggle for you because often times breasts are what separates women from men."

but what do you guys think? am i just being too sensitive?


*z-snap* *helicopter neck* Oh HELL no! I reckon I would have closed-fist punched that counselor in the face! I'm happy to hear that you've found such an empowering image. It's nice to know that there's actually a porn star out there with a relatable body type who isn't solely billed as a "naughty schoolgirl" or whatever.

Just to throw in my two cents on the fitness issue, I most definitely experience the "Houdini boob" effect when I lose weight. I was on a major yoga and diet kick a couple years back, and while I LOVED the full-body results, I went from a 32A to a 30AA in a matter of months! It's tough for me to strike the right balance.

Count me in on the "real women have vaginas" campaign! While it's nice to see another societally "frowned-upon" body type get some positive attention, the message is definitely alienating to those of us who are just naturally petite/small-breasted/thin. As I creep closer to 30, I have begun to enjoy the fruits of the "you look so young for your age" comments (which I always used to hate). However, I would love to be described as "womanly." Just once.

You ladies are all so fantastic and inspiring! Passwords be damned! I'm back! smile.gif

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KeraBear
post Apr 27 2011, 05:32 PM
Post #567


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QUOTE(strongirl @ Apr 27 2011, 09:40 AM) *
Kera, with your intelligence you should probably go into medicine or physics or computer science but geez, girl, if none of those pan out you have a sure shot at a career in stand-up comedy! You crack me up on a regular basis! biggrin.gif And I thank you for it!


Hey, thanks. Usually I don't feel like I really have enough life experience to give good advice. But I can always make someone smile. smile.gif A comedian? Sort of like another small-breasted superstar that I know - Sarah Silverman!

QUOTE(strongirl @ Apr 27 2011, 09:40 AM) *
Deeray, I think it's totally healthy that you are using that image to challenge the (false) belief planted by your ex-bf that small-breasted girls are less sexy. I think you are getting far more benefit from that than from that clueless therapist.


I was thinking this exact same thing. Your guy friend and his suggestion seemed to do way more good than the "professional." ...... oh yeah, and I second the idea that he may just have been flirting with you. YOWZA! wink.gif
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discowombat
post Apr 27 2011, 04:25 PM
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QUOTE(strongirl @ Apr 27 2011, 09:40 AM) *
Over time we've mentioned a number of small-breasted porn stars in here. It would rock to have a compiled list with links. Not sure I'll get time to do that soon - anyone else want to give it a go?


I don't have time to make a whole list but I can add one to it: Misty Mundae! My fiance doesn't watch a lot of porn but he has let me know that he is a fan of hers. She tends to do spoof porn too like Spiderbabe (Spiderman) and Lord of the G-string (Lord of the Rings). I'd be willing to bet that her body is similar to a lot of us here.
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strongirl
post Apr 27 2011, 08:40 AM
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Kera, with your intelligence you should probably go into medicine or physics or computer science but geez, girl, if none of those pan out you have a sure shot at a career in stand-up comedy! You crack me up on a regular basis! biggrin.gif And I thank you for it!

Re. the fitness versus boobs thing, I tend to lose boobage with weight loss. And I have wrestled some with the fact that I know certain people (my parents especially) prefer me on the plumper and bustier side. But I just feel so much better within myself when I'm lean and strong, which is how I am most of the time. And this is my personal esthetic preference. When I've looked at implant "before and after" pics, my two strongest reactions are 1) most of them looked better before than after, and 2) they could have made a bigger improvement in my opinion by losing weight and getting in shape. Plus it would have benefitted their health rather than put it at risk, so win-win!

I totally agree with Angie re. the sincere smile. I also think flirting is becoming a lost art and that anyone who has the hang of it is in a totally advantaged position regardless of what they look like.

Over time we've mentioned a number of small-breasted porn stars in here. It would rock to have a compiled list with links. Not sure I'll get time to do that soon - anyone else want to give it a go?

Deeray, I think it's totally healthy that you are using that image to challenge the (false) belief planted by your ex-bf that small-breasted girls are less sexy. I think you are getting far more benefit from that than from that clueless therapist.


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angie_21
post Apr 27 2011, 06:52 AM
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DeeRay, it's almost impossible to predict how your body will respond, exactly, to losing and gaining weight. It turns out, I can gain or lose upwards of 20 pounds, and my breasts stay pretty much the exact same size. They're a touch smaller now, but it barely makes a difference. So for me, it's not much of a question. If they grew significantly when I gained weight elsewhere, no way I'd want to lose it lol. But one thing for sure, I felt so much better, inside and out, after losing weight last summer. It had a lot more to do with being stronger and tougher and having more energy than it did with how I looked (though I liked that too!). All those things helped me really stop worrying about how I looked so much.

One thing I can tell you, no matter what weight I've been at, the number one thing men respond to in all my experiences - a big, genuine smile.
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karategrrl
post Apr 27 2011, 05:29 AM
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QUOTE(DeeRayy @ Apr 27 2011, 05:46 AM) *
i'm gonna start a body image movement called "real women have vaginas"! it'll catch on, you'll see.

LOL!!!!!

OMG, you ladies are cracking me up totally this week! Love it, love it!!!
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DeeRayy
post Apr 27 2011, 12:46 AM
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QUOTE(buttercups @ Apr 25 2011, 12:36 AM) *
I hate hate hate the "real women have curves" campaign too because once again it's alienating another group of women.

Why does a body type have to define what a "real woman" is?? I am all for being supportive of curvy women, but not at the expense of everyone else.

We all need to be supportive of each other. I can't wait until that happens. I also hate being referred to as boyish or how my body type is labeled as boyish figure in magazines. I am not curvy, but why does that automatically mean I am "boyish". I wish we could get rid of that crap too!



my goodness i didn't see your post buttercups! i totally agree with what you said about the "real women have curves" thing. people are always talking about what the "average woman" looks like, how the "average woman" is a size 12 and 5'5". and it makes no sense. there is no way to accurately describe what the average woman looks like because we are all so unique. and those are just numbers that do not actually describe the variation between each and every woman. technically, if you have two women, one 5'4" and a size 10, the other 5'0" and a size 6, then the "average" between them would be a 5'2" woman who is a size 8. Now, does that mean you have two 5'2" size 8 women in front of you? No! you still have two completely different women in front of you. looking at the average means nothing,especially since there are so any other factors to appearance besides height and weight. there's the distribution of your weight, your natural body shape, your skin tone, your hair color. the list is infinite. there's no such thing as the average woman, every woman is different. and the media needs to stop trying to tell us otherwise.

and i tooootalllyy agree on the magazine thing. glamour supposedly preaches postitive body image among women (and i'm going to give them credit and say they're doing a way better job of that than any other mainstream magazine i've seen). yet, when i get to the whole "dress your body type" section there's four choices at the most and i can't decide whether i'm boyish or petite! so you're not alone there. those pieces are bull in my opinion because they often teach you to disguise your natural body shape instead of embracing it. they always tell the "boyish" women how to fake curves, or the pear-shaped women how to give the illusion of symmetry. i say wear what you like and what you feel good in. don't let a magazine tell you what you can and can't pull off.

so buttercups, you have a fellow "real women have curves" opponent.

i'm gonna start a body image movement called "real women have vaginas"! it'll catch on, you'll see.
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DeeRayy
post Apr 26 2011, 12:36 PM
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QUOTE(angie_21 @ Apr 26 2011, 04:23 AM) *
And might I add, I am not quite a full a 34A - my breasts look a lot like that Dani Jensen girl's, and on top of it I have cellulite and a bit of a belly (which she certainly doesn't) and ALL those things are OK!


Angie, i can tell you that i've got pudge on my tummy too and that's probably my second big insecurity because even though i'm not large i still manage to have some cushion there. when i said her body type is a lot like mine i meant petite and small breasted. she just looks a lot more like me from the neck down than any other porn star i've ever seen. you've posted in here about how you've lost weight, so what can you say to someone who wants to lose some but is afraid of losing the little breast tissue that she has? because although my tummy doesn't bother me nearly as much as my breasts, it still bothers me. but i get afraid of becoming comleeeetely flat. i might get scolded for that last comment but it's still a fear i have about starting a weight loss regimen.
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karategrrl
post Apr 26 2011, 11:00 AM
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QUOTE(KeraBear @ Apr 26 2011, 02:23 AM) *
The next time that little voice comes into your head. Take a deep breath... and go Achmed the Dead Terrorist on its ass!

"SILENCE!!!!! I KEEL YOU!!!" laugh.gif


LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! laugh.gif laugh.gif laugh.gif laugh.gif
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angie_21
post Apr 26 2011, 06:23 AM
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Ha! I thought that too, Persi!

DeeRay, don't beat yourself up over how you feel. Everyone's got some insecurities, everyone wants to be beautiful. For me, the only way to stop caring about my breasts was to really, really start loving the other parts of my body. You aren't being shallow or silly for wanting to feel worthwhile and attractive, however, I think maybe I can teasingly tell you it might be silly to think you aren't those things already... I focused on what I did like about my body, and what my body can do for me, and also on other people's responses. No one ever looks at my little boobs and acts all disgusted, you know why? because they're actually quite nice! And I get long looks from a good percentage of the guys I walk past in a day. My guy friends compliment me on how I look, sometimes to the point of being inappropriate. And might I add, I am not quite a full a 34A - my breasts look a lot like that Dani Jensen girl's, and on top of it I have cellulite and a bit of a belly (which she certainly doesn't) and ALL those things are OK! Because I am happy and confident, and dress to show off what I have, choosing only clothes that fit with my frame, I never walk around feeling ugly anymore. (well never is a strong word, but compared to how I felt in the past - I felt a lot like you did, knowing I should be happy but not being able to). It took time, and it took my focusing on a lot of other things in life that make me feel like a strong, intelligent, and beautiful person. And at some point, I not only "accepted" my breasts, but started loving them as much as everything else. They are perky and bouncy, I have adorable tiny pink nipples, and they never get in the way when I am lifting weights or wall climbing! They never overpower an outfit I wear, I can wear low-cut sexy tops without attracting TOO much attention (if I want too much attention, then I throw on a miniskirt too. Ha!)

Sorry for rambling.. I'm late for work and no time to say anything coherent. I just want to say DeeRay, I am so glad you have the right idea and know in your head that you don't have to judge yourself for your breast size. Don't get too impatient with yourself - these things take time. Glad you're here!
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Persiflager
post Apr 26 2011, 12:08 AM
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*delurks*

DeeRayy, might your friend have been subtly hitting on you?

*relurks*


--------------------
“Logic is the art of going wrong with confidence.”
Morris Kline (mathematician, author) 1908-1992
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KeraBear
post Apr 25 2011, 09:23 PM
Post #577


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QUOTE(DeeRayy @ Apr 25 2011, 05:19 PM) *
so, i know it shouldn't have such a big affect on me, yet it still does. i guess i just need help silencing the little voice in my head that tells me i'm not enough.


The next time that little voice comes into your head. Take a deep breath... and go Achmed the Dead Terrorist on its ass!

"SILENCE!!!!! I KEEL YOU!!!" laugh.gif
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KeraBear
post Apr 25 2011, 09:18 PM
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oooh... speaking as a fellow "boyish" sistah, I also hate the "Real Women Have Curves" message!! BUUUUUUUT.... I do like this video from Dove that I found on YouTube. I don't really see much of the "war on skinny" here, and it is more warring against the beauty industry in general. It's great! HOWEVVVVVER, I recently learned that Dove and Axe are owned by the same freakin' company! If you've ever seen an Axe commercial, you know what I mean. *rolling eyes*
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discowombat
post Apr 25 2011, 06:35 PM
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", i realized that if a man were to ever look at me and say "the only way i can truly accept you is if you get implants," i would kick his shallow keester to the curb in a heartbeat. so, how would it be fair for me to say that to myself? it's not."

Amen DeeRayy! I couldn't have said it better.
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DeeRayy
post Apr 25 2011, 04:19 PM
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karategrrl, thanks for the positive feedback!

i agree with you that i'm not a complete mess when it comes to this issue. it feels like there are two sides to me when it comes to the issues i have with my breasts. there's the logical, mature side of me that says that i really shouldn't be experiencing this much grief over the mere fact that i'm not busty. but then there's the self-doubting, overly emotional side of me that can't seem to get over it. so, i know it shouldn't have such a big affect on me, yet it still does. i guess i just need help silencing the little voice in my head that tells me i'm not enough. and i don't see my small breasts as a flaw, i just get really nervous about what guys think about them, and i just really don't want what happened in my last relationship to happen again. so there's a fear in my heart that the next guy i end up dating won't be satisfied with my breasts either, and that i'm going to feel completely helpless and inadequate all over again. and that's what most of my insecurity comes right down to- this fear of guys judging me. i know it's not right to be wary of all men just because of one guy, but it's difficult not to sometimes. and i know i shouldn't be so concerned with what guys think of me in the first place, but i'm working on that as well.
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