[Laurenzorro]

Big temp drop this morning and then my period.

Well, I'm glad that the waiting is over and I at least have a result.

Thanks ladies for your help and support!

[Cristine]

funny, I can speak for the U.S. in saying that yes we do use that phrase. I will be keeping fingers crossed for both of us in the coming week!

[funnybird]

I'm glad it's not just me being cranky and bitter about my friend because she's super-fertile (she's the one who conceived on her honeymoon and was pregnant again within a year of giving birth) and I'm, well, not. I've decided to give her the benefit of the doubt and believe that she doesn't remember the conversation we had about names - it was about 6 months ago. Although if she ever gets pregnant again I'm keeping my mouth shut around her!

Cristine, I'm sorry you feel low. I'm feeling the same - like it's just never going to happen for me and AB. I'm 9DPO, so we're nearly in sync this month and can help keep each others chins up (do Americans and Canadians say "keep your chin up", or is that really British?).

Nickclick, did I forget to congratulate you? I'm always composing posts in my head that I never get to post, so I can't keep up with what I've said to who. Anyway, congratulations!

[aphelendra]

Lauren - I had a similar experience a while back. Lots of funny symptoms (nausea, headaches, general ooky feelings), a missed period, and a negative pregnancy test. Turns out I had an ovarian cyst . . . . For two weeks I had been convinced I was pregnant, and I remember it being strange and dissappointing . . . .

That being said, it's probably nothing to worry about if it is a cyst, although I more than understand the disappointment. I conceived in October via a follicle on my right ovary, and at the time I had a 2.5cm cyst on lefty.

Hope this isn't the case for you . . . . (the part about the cyst, not the conceiving!)

Funnybird - I totally understand your frustration, it seems awful . . . .er . . . something that both of this friend's names have been suggested by other people. Did she think you guys just wouldn't notice ????

Michelina - IVF!!!!!!! Exciting!!!!!!

The latest info I had found during my internet travels (so take with a small grain of salt) was that with ICSI and assisted hatching, success rates can be as high as 50%. Kinda kicks IUI in the butt . . . .

Have you heard of ARC (advanced reproductive care, inc.)? We looked into it when we were considering IVF, it allows you to make a payment plan instead of paying everything up front. I think they even have some sort of rebate policy where if you pay a certain fee up front, you get some kind of refund if you go through three unsuccessful cycles, which was a very enticing option for us . . . .

I hope money isn't too much of an issue for you guys, but for us we wouldn't have ever been able to consider IVF without this program. Just one of the lovely downsides of being 23, halfway through my education, very very broke, and preparing for not only parenthood but the cost of infertility treatments as well. . . . .cruel cruel world!!!!

Hope everyone is well out in bustie land . . . .

[pepper]

she really wished she'd learned more about the birth management options before the birth so that she could feel better about the decisions...her big regret was that she really kind of felt bullied into some of the decisions and the OB who was on call with her (not her regular OB) really talked down to her and her husband. She felt that if she'd picked her doc more carefully (including the on-call situation) and was better informed about everything from epidurals to c-sections, she would have felt better about letting go of her plans to have an unmedicated birth.

I know too many women who ended up feeling bullied and choiceless because they didn't know enough about their options. And not just with a hospital birth either, one gf had a nightmare experience with a midwife! It's so important to be in the know about proceedures, you nearly have to become an expert yourself to navigate the system these days, be it with a doc or a midwife. I do believe that you can still get your best possible scenario out of it but it's hard to advocate for yourself and deal with opposition or friction while you're in the middle of giving birth! A good birthing partner is invaluable.


delibelly, sometimes second births are easier but then again, you just never know how it's gonna go, you've got to be mentally prepared to repeat that intense experience if that's the way you want to go. It's great that your midwife is open to discussing options with you.
My second was faster but more intense, like the experience was just doubled up into a smaller space of time KWIM? Still managable but STRONG! She was a bit bigger too.

eyelet, a friend laboured for so many hours on end until she ended in emerg c-section for her baby boy who was TEN-FOUR!!! I'm amazed that she lasted as long as she did, that baby was never coming out the natural way. But then my littlest sister had a fairly short and easy delivery of her boy who was way over 9 lbs and her first too so you are totally right, you just never know. There is no predicting and you have to be ready for anything, it's so true.

funnybird, that would royally piss me off. I mean, really, that's the height of inconsiderate if it was done purposefully. But maybe it's for the best, the name may not have suited another child. Once a friend told me a funny story about naming her boy River but feeling weird about calling him that for weeks and weeks until she had a dream that changed everything. In the dream "River" was talking to her and saying "Mom, why do you keep calling me that? My name is Cory, C.O.R.Y. Cory!" So they changed his name. Made me laugh.

[Cristine]

Congratulations nickclick! I had a feeling...

funny, I'm at 7 dpo & don't know what to feel anymore. I don't get hopeful anymore, I'm always looking ahead to the next month asking myself if we can do this again. Sorry about the name thing, we intentionally keep all our names secret since EVERYONE else is having kids and apparently we can't.

Michelina, sorry to hear the news this month but very excited about your upcoming IVF... regardless of what anyone at your work or elsewhere may think!

[nickclick]

((lauren))) keep us updated of course.

~~~~~more positive vibes for Michelina ~~~~~~ i don't think i would be able to wait around either without doing SOMETHING.

funny, ugh. that's rude AND uncreative. i never shared that i wanted to name a girl after my grandma Charlotte, and my cousin had a girl last summer and named her after her grandma (Stella). different grandmas but even if i do i will seem like a biter to our family.

but i do have to admit that mr.nick and i both like Elliott for a boy......

[Michelina]

Lauren, the fact that you had strange symptoms and no period now is very strange. And blood tests are highly accurate so it seems unlikely that you are pregnant. I definitely think you should go back to your doc if you still haven't gotten your period within the next couple of days. Sorry that you are going through this. Thinking of you...

Funnybird, I would be irritated too! Mr M and I haven't shared any of our favorites, and I am glad we haven't when I hear stories like this.

Thanks for all of the positive energy from the Busties! My 2ww is now over with a negative test. I saw my doctor yesterday and she made the referral for the Calgary clinic. I am so scared and so excited. Our journey will likely begin this summer. In the interim, we may do some more unmedicated IUI's just so that we are doing "something" while we wait. But my doc doesn't want to see me pour a bunch of money and energy into meds with Mr. M's numbers the way they are. I completely agree. And the wait to begin IVF begins! I will need a lot of positive energy.

I am dreading telling my work. My manager has been fantastic, but some of the people in my department are not supportive of IVF. And we are already short staffed. But this is my life and my chance. Work is not my priority anymore. Must keep reminding myself about that.

[funnybird]

Lauren, how was your temperature this morning? Do you have any other symptoms?

Can I just have a little rant here? I need to get something off my chest. I have a friend who is 7 months pregnant with her second, a girl. When her son was born two years ago my SiL (who is also her friend) was annoyed because she (the friend) gave the baby my SiL’s favourite name, which she’d been hoping to use for her own child. This was before SiL was pregnant herself, but she was still talking about it recently when she found out she was having a boy so was obviously still irritated. Well, I saw on facebook this morning the friend is planning to call the girl MY favourite girl’s name! Now I know how SiL felt! I know I’m being completely irrational, seeing as I’m not even pregnant (and slowly losing hope that I will ever be), and it was probably me that gave her the idea in the first place by talking about how much I like the name. But still, it makes me sigh. I worry that all the names I like will have been used by our friends by the time we get the chance, if we ever do.

Michelina and Cristine, how are you both doing? Are you TWW-ing?

[Laurenzorro]

Yeah, i was wondering that too zelda. When i was given the results it sounded very final which kind of made me angrier! My ovulation was probably the clearest it's been this month, my temps don't often match up with the rest but there was a definate temp shift... The only possibility is that it was earlier which doesn't help the situation. I'm becoming more anxious as time passes, i had a dream that i had a miscarriage last night which was quite traumatic and disturbing. I'm also having a lot of trouble dealing with the emotional swings every day too. Answers soon please!

[zelda]

Wonder if your doc ordered a qualitative or quantitative blood test, Lauren...

http://wiki.answers.com/Q/Who_has_had_a_fa...n_fact_pregnant

[zelda]

Lauren, I'm sorry you're going through this agonizing wait. I have heard of very rare instances where blood tests are wrong, but usually they are right. (I am hoping your test is wrong since I know you want to be PG so badly!)

It could be a very off cycle...where you stressed out or traveling around the time of ovulation? Remember stress cannot delay a period, but it CAN delay ovulation which then triggers a seemingly late period (although your luteal phase stays the same).

Thinking of you...please keep us updated.

[Laurenzorro]

Yeah at the doctors. She was pretty vague and basically told me to wait it out if the bloods were negative so i haven't been back. I'll do another test on sunday and just try to chill out in the meantime since there's not really a whole lot i can do. I guess if there is still no result by next week i'll go back and look at other possibilities. Ah! The wait continues!

[funnybird]

Laurenzorro, did you have the blood test at the doctor’s? Did they have anything to say about it being negative? As far as I know, the only thing other than pregnancy that can cause 18 days of high temps is an ovarian cyst. If your temperature is still raised tomorrow I’d definitely give them a call.

I’m sorry this is happening to you. I went through pretty much the same thing last year and the suspense and uncertainty sucks. I’m thinking of you.

[eyelet]

Wish I had more time to read thoroughly and to write more, but I have the opportunity to get some really good sleep right now if I jump on it, so I'm going to. But must jump in momentarily.

Welcome to all the new people in this thread!

Just wanted to say that I tried to have a home birth and after 20+ hours of hard labor we had to change course and go to the hospital where I got a c-section. I don't recall ever really feeling fearful and I was truly prepared to continue, but after pushing for 2 hours, my cervix began to swell and my 9lb baby and her very large head would not come out. The midwife said the baby was having irregular heartbeats so that decided it. As some of the women on this board will recall, I grieved over it mightily afterwards. I had put so much into it to still end up in the hospital. Eventually I put it all in proper perspective and recognized that I had the most amazingly happy and healthy baby and that it didn't matter how she got here.

In retrospect, I would have done two things differently. I would have chosen a birthing center over birthing at home (for various reasons it might have made things easier both during birth and when I came home), and I would have asked my midwife not to delegate so much to her apprentice. Hard to say if it would have changed anything, but it's possible.

I don't plan to have another child, but not because I don't want to. It's because I'm 43 and by the time I would be able to plan it I would be 45 and I am afraid of the risk. But if I were in a position to have another child, the second time I would try for VBAC and I would have an epidural. Even if I did have to have another c-section, I would try to labor for as long as I could first because as I understand it, all the contractions helped my daughter with clearing her lungs and receiving necessary stress hormones to help her once she entered the world.

If my labor had ended after the first 12 hours or so, I would have forgotten the worst of it and recommended the experience to anyone. The pain was intense, but so much so that it sent me into a sort of forgetful trance state, so it was almost a natural twilight drug. But when the extreme fatigue and dehydration set in (I couldn't keep anything down) I felt the birth I'd imagined slipping from my grasp, and it was very hard emotionally.

I think deciding whether to go drug-free is a very personal one and that there are pros and cons to both. I'm more rabidly pro breast feeding than I am pro natural childbirth and will argue its merits all day. But as much as I worried that the drugs would hurt my wee baby, we had no choice but to have them, and she still came out bright eyed and rosy cheeked.

Delibelly is right that everyone's journey is different. And in all likelihood, no one's is exactly how they envisioned it during the nine months of preparing.

Still following this thread despite never having much time to comment. Good luck to all TTC and with the pregnancies!

[delibelly]

I just had my first Midwife's appt. today - sort of deciding whether I was going to use one again as I did with my son - my big thing was: I'm not sure I can do unmedicated again. I thought midwives were not able to assist at births where epidurals are used. Anyway, she cleared that up. I liked her because I worried it's a sort of sacrilege to say 'I might not be able to go "natural"again' with a midwife and she just put me at my ease.

For my son, my unmedicated childbirth was not the empowering experience I had hoped for. "Transition" was terrifying. I was in so much pain that I couldn't be aware of who was around me or what they were doing, and I felt completely alone. It was pure torment. And it 'only' lasted for two hours. Despite that, I'm still on the fence! My son was born healthy and well, I hate that slippery slope of the epidural, then the pitocin, then the catheter, you know? I wish there was something in the middle. A sort of semi-epi.

Anyway, motherhood has cured my of all (well, most) judgement. Whatever you have to do to give birth to a healthy baby, that keeps you feeling safe and sane. Do it. Also, every experience is unique, every mother feels things differently. Transition was hardest for me, but pushing was a piece of piss. I've heard other people say that pushing was hardest for them. Some people just have an "intense" experience. Some people have incredible pain. And different labours for the same woman can take different paths.

I dunno. It sucks that there's no way to predict.

[julie124]

Congrats to all the pregnant mamas! Just dropping in from Mamaville to put my $0.02 into the birth discussion, in case you're interested....

Books: In preparation for birth I read The Birth Book by Dr. Sears and found it to be REALLY helpful. It definitely encourages women to consider an unmedicated birth but the emphasis of the book is really on helping you have a positive birth experience no matter what route you decide to take (or have to take), and it includes stories from women across the spectrum, everything from an unmedicated birth at home to a c-section in the hospital. They also reinforced a lot of the stuff I learned in my unmedicated childbirth class about breathing techniques, comfort measures, etc. I'm a fan (as you can tell).

I actually wasn't a big fan of the The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding before I had Henry because I felt like a) it spent way more time than necessary talking about why "breast is best" [I was like, hello, I bought your book, I'm already sold on breastfeeding] and it felt like it was not very supportive of women who chose to go back to work or who otherwise were not going to be breastfeeding on demand for a year. And when I was having breastfeeding challenges I think I projected some of my challenges onto the book (like, "great, I'm doing it all WRONG, thanks a lot for making me feel worse") but now that we're on track I find it a handy reference book.

Personal Experience: As I shared with folks here, I had Henry in a hospital with an OB/GYN and without medication, and honestly it was an amazing experience. (I'll spare everyone the repeat story...but I love talking about his birth so I'll gladly share with anyone who is interested.) I recently had a little reunion with some of the other women from my unmedicated childbirth class - in fact, we went to share some of our stories with the current class - and it was fascinating to me what different experiences we all had. One other mom had also gone natural and had a good experience but a faster labor than me, another had to be induced and ended up getting an epidural (because her labor dragged on for over 24 hours), and another had a really stressful experience where she was at one centimeter for 7 HOURS, finally got talked into an epidural to help things move along, dilated to 4 and stayed there for 6 HOURS, then had to get an episiotomy before finally delivering. Her take was that she really wished she'd learned more about the birth management options before the birth so that she could feel better about the decisions...her big regret was that she really kind of felt bullied into some of the decisions and the OB who was on call with her (not her regular OB) really talked down to her and her husband. She felt that if she'd picked her doc more carefully (including the on-call situation) and was better informed about everything from epidurals to c-sections, she would have felt better about letting go of her plans to have an unmedicated birth.

Sorry, that was a book! Good to see this thread so active. yumyum, I can't believe how close you're getting, you must be so excited. zelda, it feels like just yesterday you got that positive test...enjoy kicky time with Ponyo! Michelina, Fookie, Cristine, funnybird, all the other TTC Busties, I am thinking positive thoughts for you!

[Laurenzorro]

ok extra quick note.. Negative blood test and i'm now at 17dpo. What does this mean? Do i just keep waiting and testing? This makes no sense to me! I read that you can confirm pregnancy if you exceed 18 dpo with high temps... So confused!

[Laurenzorro]

ok extra quick note.. Negative blood test and i'm now at 17dpo. What does this mean? Do i just keep waiting and testing? This makes no sense to me! I read that you can confirm pregnancy if you exceed 18 dpo with high temps... So confused!

[zelda]

Super fast more later...but to answer your question aphelendra, I am at 26 weeks and Mr. Z just now started to be able to feel the baby on the outside and see my belly move. My BFF felt it on the outside around 24 weeks, but her hand happened to be in the right place for a POWERFUL kick...more powerful than usual.

As for feeling movement myself, for a few days I doubted myself ("Is it gas? Was that it?")...then it was like he was moving like crazy and I had always been feeling him move! Overnight, practically. :-) This was around 19 weeks or so.