[chachaheels]

Freckle, I've lately come to experience similar things when my MIL is visiting with her husband. He's lovely, and rarely does or says anything to piss me off...but my MIL "builds" to a point in our visit when she just seems to look for ways to set me off. They usually stay over a week when they visit, which I must say is far too long, and they love to come in September, which is really the "beginning" of the year for me--so it's tough to juggle my own plans with extended stay guests.

This year I planned things so that I had escape days--I changed none of my appointments with patients; I kept arrangements in place to travel on my own so I could be away from home so I could get some of my own things done without wondering how the hell I was going to catch up after they left; and I made my husband book the time off so he could take his mom around on his own at least once during the visit.

I make no apologies for doing these things, I hardly even make mention of them. Once my MIL said, "We missed you today while we went to .....fill in the blank tourist spot....", in what looked like a guilt-induction attempt, and I just responded with, "Oh, aren't you sweet!" and turned the conversation back on her. Things went smoothly until just before they left, when the woman finally got me, and I let some steam escape from my ears.

My confession, at the moment, is that this year we've decided to spend Christmas with my MIL at her house. Where we will see who is the guest with license to speak freely--and who is the frazzled hostess, without such license. For a change.

[llamas]

Pepper, there's one of those at my office.

So I've been informed that the guitar boy of a local band rather wants me, and I know I will use said knowledge to torture him every chance I get. I know it's mean, and I know why I do it, but I just can't help myself!

[freckleface2727]

confession:
I so loathe my in-laws that are arriving later today, that I want to do mean and terrible things, like cook, but then uh, use dirty utensils while doing so.. and I've already been letting my dog roll around on the old sofa the old man will want to sleep on. I mean this is Way beyond over-waxing my foyer w/ old english in the hopes the old man will take a spill and have to leave, I'd really like to do them some damage. sick I know.
I never liked them much before, but now I REALLY can't stand them, but yet have still been busting my ass cleaning the house as an over compensation. evil (bc right now it's stronger) is wrestling w/ good and truthfully I don't know which will win.
after the disagreement w/ my m-i-l over the mr's g'mother still driving (scary & awful & a total danger to society) I want to ignore her just the same way I pointedly ignore the mysoginistic him.
I think I feel some sort of ~illness~ coming over me that will keep me in bed & away from them, til I miraculously feel better in time for them to leave Sat & for me to go to the training.

[toastybean]

i felt like that too tyger....but i tried to convince myself it was right. Had our future planned out according to his wants and convinced myself i would be happy with it. but all i needed was for him to bring up that i couldnt be happy that way...and i agreed. we're done...im sad and lonely. i feel so pathetic that all i want right now is his arms around me.

[tyger]

I feel like this:
http://xkcd.com/c17.html

[pepper]

i would like to socially sabotage a woman i know who puts on the act of a lovely human being when she is really a low down dirty rotten asshole. '
i have a hard time keeping the faith that people are finding out who she really is on their own, even though i meet those who have regularly. it happens, just not fast enough. i confess that i would really, really like to add some accelerant to that stinky tire fire.

[anna k]

I always wanted to be an 80's skanky party girl sleeping with hair metal bands and having big hair and short skirts and rocking it until dawn.

[missladyj]

I must confess that I have always wanted to be one of those fly girls on In Living Color

[crazyoldcatlady]

i'm looking at an old old ex best-boy's screen name on my buddy list and i want to IM so bad. it makes me sad that his profile notes that he still talks to our old old mutual friend. i wish we could be friends again. and maybe hook up once in a while. like old times.

[knorl05]

confession: i act like i dont care what people think just because i do care what they think. and i think that annoys or confuses a lot of people.

[pixiedust]

I have been trying to stay positive and upbeat because things have been going so much better for me lately, but this time of year always gets to me...and today I just don't have it in me to be cherry and happy.

[erinjane]

(((Awesome Busties)))

[bunnyb]

thanks for the hugs.

I was in my pjs all weekend and today I smelled. A shower felt oh so good, but that was only because I was going out; I coulda happily stayed in the pyjamas albeit minus the body odour. eugh.

I forgot how to spell "could". That may have been due to inebriation.

[sassygrrl]

((kittenb)) ((annak))


Erin Jane, I understand about your depression. It seems one of the only people that I can talk to about it is my therapist. For instance, today I had the whole house to myself (a rarity), and I just cryed for about 2-3 hours. I then realized that this was the first time I had been by myself in over 3
weeks maybe more (with all my health issues lately). It was healing, if that makes any sense.

((bunnyb)) I really miss my grandmother (on my mom's side). She always gave awesome advice on everything.

Confession: I ate half a pint of Haagan Daas ice cream today, and I have not been out of my pjs all day, and it 7:11 pm as of right now. And I don't really care about getting out of them until tomorrow...

Confession: Even though this freaking scary house has NO heat right now, my room is my own space. And that's awesome.

[kittenb]

You're right, anna_k. I am being hard on her. I try so hard to hide my concerns from her. The last thing I want is for her to figure any of this out. I am happy that she has more of a social life than I did at that age and I know there is some weird jelousy on my part. I do love her very much and I just want the best for her. Maybe I need to stop assuming that I know what that is.

[anna k]

My sister is 25 and reminds me of the women who worked with us when we worked as summer aides at a special-ed school. These women were overweight and middle-aged and crabby and obnoxious to listen to. My sister may become that someday. She's quick to judge people, has become very overweight in the past couple of years, doesn't read much and isn't aware of world events outside of reading People magazine or watching The Daily Show, and can act like a complete jackass. She graduated with honors, yet didn't do anything with her life, just lounging around my parents' home for three years getting fat and lazy and pissing her life away. She only moved out now because my parents moved away, yet she had a year to find a new place and didn't do it until a month before they moved. Her life is better now with her own place and a steady job, but I still think she's a pain in the ass who could grow up to become a bitter old hag.

My sister also doesn't read much apart from buying Star magazine, especially if it features something about weight loss on the cover. She can be so vacous and stupid, and say nasty stuff about people who are "fat hicks," yet if she didn't have my parents' financial support she wouldn't be any different. She curses a lot, and it sounds lazy and immature coming out of her. I'm two years younger, yet feel like more of an adult because I managed my own life's direction while she just let it sail by.

We hung out this weekend, and I tolerate her, but can't stand how judgemental and immature she can be. She calls any woman who does something snide a bitch immediately, like "Ew, what a bitch!" She makes "ew" faces to me when we pass homeless or dirty-looking people, is impatient and prone to whining, and can just be a whiny bitch herself.

kitten, when I was 15 I was a geek who read a lot, didn't have any friends, didn't have any chance of dating guys, and lived like I was in a cocoon. Sometimes I wish I was a happier teen, dating boys and being cute and well-liked, but I wasn't. My life is much better at 23 than it was at 15.

[kittenb]

This is a big one for me but sometimes I worry that my youger step-sister is going to grow up to become someone I will not like or have a lot of respect for. I feel that if she was not my step-sister, I would think she was an idiot. She cannot spell, and it seems to be a choice with her. For example, when she emails me, she spells "girl" as "gurl" and cannot put together a coherent sentence. Now I am not the best speller, but even at 15 I could express myself somewhat articulately. I don't know how to share these concerns with her without making her feel bad. I already get the impression that she wants boys in her life b/c they can buy her things and all of her boyfriends are these scrawny, greasey-haired, chin pube sprouting hicks that do nothing but remind me why I never dated in high school.
Is it me? Is it her? How can I help her from becoming just another casualty of the pretty-girl mentality that some man will take care of her? All she talks about is Paris Hilton and Nicole Ritchie and bling. She hates to read and has nothing that really intrests her other than boys.

Have I just gotten old and is that what 15 is supposed to be about? I know that I was a basket case at 15. I was a geek and was not pretty so my experience has been very different than hers (she is gorgeous.) However, I just want her to stop being such an...airhead.

I feel like a bad step-sister that I think all of these things about her but it scares me what she will become. A good portion of my strength of character is from the books that I read. I had influences like Laura Ingells Wilder and all of Judy Blume characters. With her, if it's not happening on Hanna Montana or That's So Raven (both good shows, I admit) I don't think she notices it. And her mother is a good mother but she is also uneducated and does not seem to care about the things that she does not know. I just don't understand.

[wombat]

Why, thank you, chacha! And I will check out that book! Right now I'm sitting in a library because I need to reconfig my new computer to my new phone # in my new house!

So -- I mean "check that out" literally!! Ha ha!

BunnyB -- and others -- well, I feel the same way, because we went to my boyfriend's Dad's nursing home yesterday with some great fall flowers. I feel bad we don't visit more often, so does the boy. His dad's a tough old mix of Passamaquoddy and German. He was living alone and doing all his own stuff till about two years ago when he fell on the ice and got braindamaged. He's still got all his hair and teeth and is a real sweetie. He's getting pretty demented, but we just sat together on the screened porch and watched the sky change and looked at the orange and bright green autumn leaves and the birds.

We picked the place for him because the people were nice and the views and nature -- we knew he would like them. He would have needed 24 hour supervision and a trained nurse for care -- just no way we could do it.

It's sad to see the person that way, it's not the nursing home, it would be just as sad if he or she were sitting on your couch.

In 'dads' case, I think he wlll be happy to go when it is his time.

EJ, I second people who tell you not to let people shame your negative emotions and the process you need to go though. Unfortunately, people do that all the time, even here on the Bust board. You're not sick or mean to have negative emotions, they are an APPROPRIATE and NECESSARY response to negative events.

[chachaheels]

Oh ((((((Erinjane)))))). It is never too late to talk about what you need to express, in fact it's absolutely necessary for you to do this, especially if being silent about it only compounds sadness.


Wombat! I've missed you, girly. I will pull out all my teeth with a corkscrew before I ever think about North America or even the USA being "Jerry Falwell's country". Sheesh.

Have you ever read that book Reading Lolita in Tehran? Amazing look at women (and their families) forced to live in a theocracy. Like an autobiographical version of The Handmaid's Tale, which I believe is the North American woman's (fictionalized, but, really, only for show) account of living in a theocracy we don't want to admit exists.

[knorl05]

why do we apologize for feeling bad? i know i've done it, i know i've felt like a burden when i really needed to talk about stuff. is it because society tells us that it's not ok to feel upset?

erinjane: dont apologize, we are all human, we all have emotions... some people just experience more extreme circumstances that have a lasting affect on their overall well being. it helps to be in touch with how you feel- putting it off because you dont want to burden others with your concerns, only prolongs the pain. i'm sorry some of your friends can have a tendency of not being supportive. i know how isolating that must feel. i'm sure you know you've got love here whenever you need to vent, so dont feel bad about it.