[pixiedust]

freckle, reading your post made me cry. It wasn't that long ago I had the same thoughts. I hope things get better, or you find a way to make things change. You are a ridiculously cool Busty and I hate that we are powerless to help you.

[lot49]

I am a total liberal snob. I look down on people who have never questioned their religious beliefs. I still hold a huge grudge against everyone who voted for Bush.

(((busties)))

[freckleface2727]

I don't think this is a new or original confession, but, I sleep w/ a small stuffed animal.
when the mr was gone, it was the teddy bear in dessert cami's he gave me the night before he left, and now he's back but things are so shitty, so I have Smedley Sue, my tiny white & black pound puppy an old boyfriend my sr yr of hs gave me. Smed has been w/ me the first time I ever gave blood, and when I gave birth to frecklette (I bit him on the ears thru my contractions and you can still faintly see the teeth marks to this day). except for the years he was lost in frecklette's toybox, he's always been there for me and here I am at this age and I need him again.
I also have a fist sized jade budda ornament I am keeping close at hand, rubbing his belly, just bc it seems to also give me some sort of deep comfort though know virtually nothing about Buddism.

I am still a total wreck though no one, including my utterly clueless mr, seems to realise it.

[rantrave88]

I'm scared of most people I meet, and it takes quite a lot to ease those fears. I'm pretty much scared of anyone who isn't a close friend (as well as many who are)

Every day I wait for life to begin.

I'm really really fucking lazy. I was almost too lazy to post this.
I'm making myself do it. I'd rather lie down and do nothing.

[doodlebug]

When things are going well with my job, I feel like I'm on top of the world. When things feel like they are in the toilet, *I* feel like *I'm* in the toilet. I know this means that I still have way too much of my identity and self-worth tied up in my work, but knowing it doesn't seem to be helping me change it.

I feel like I am in limbo. I know I need to leave my job, but there is still work I need to finish up before I can leave. I also need to feel confident that when I leave, the women who inherit the Centre are going to be able to keep it going. AND I am kind of terrified of the prospect of having to find another way to support myself, and especially, finding a way to support myself without having to move to a big city and/or take on this ridiculous level of responsibility.

I am a horrible procrastinator, and I keep getting myself into the same messes over and over again because of it.

[battygurl]

I moved out of my parents house to another city almost 3 years ago, and I have not been homesick once. I do not miss my parents at all. I miss my kitty cats, and my sister who still lives with them, but that is it. (For the record, this is not the house I did most of my growing up in, so I have no attachment to the place.) I feel like I should feel guilty about that, especially since I know my Mom misses me, but I can't even bring myself to feel that.

[pixiedust]

I cackled with glee when I put heffalump on my ignore list. Mr. P thought I had gone mad!

[punkerplus]

I saw the person I lost my virginity to last night. At the end he treated me badly and used me and yet I was happy to see him.

Because I didn't feel a thing

I didn't hate him or care about him in any way good or bad. I didn't even have that slight moment of panic I usually get when I see an ex. I didn't feel a thing. He could have been anyone.

And thats brilliant.

What makes it better is that he was blatently trying to take me home with him and I got the chance to walk away.

[pollystyrene]

I had a dream last night about giving my boyfriend's ex-girlfriend/my ex-best friend a vicious verbal beating (I dream about her at least once a month, even though they've been broken up for nearly six years and I haven't felt insecure about her for more than four.) I woke up with a big smile on my face and can't get her out of my head now. I looked up her younger brother (who was actually a very nice kid) on his college's directory. I'm in a stalker-y mood and seriously considering driving past her parent's house,, since my boyfriend is gone for the night. I don't know why I'm so obsessed with her. She probably doesn't even live there anymore.

I want her out of my head!

[roseviolet]

I fear that Condi Rice will become the first female president. It's such a shame because, if you'd asked me a decade ago, I'd have been thrilled by the idea of a black female in the White House. Now it frightens me.

[zoya]

I was potentially offered a job, I will find out this weekend if the offer is firm. I told them I defnitely wanted it and it sounds like it's going to be offered to me and that they are already making plans for me. Now after some thought, I don't know if I want the job. It's with a very big organization in my field. I don't exactly know what to do. I'm scared.


Some of these thoughts have to do not only with me wanting to make a go at my own thing, but also some social plans and possible visits from and to boys.

[punkerplus]

I don't want to go to university, because I don't want to do the course I've chosen. I don't want to tell my mum because I know she'll be disappointed in me. I don't want to feel like this because I don't have the qualifications (or talent) I need to do the type of course I'd like to. All the courses I want to do don't have solid job prospects.

I want to move to Brighton to set up a 50's style diner with one of my BFF.

I worry all the time that I will hate what I've done with my life and who i've become, 10, 20 or 30 years down the line. I'm not even who I want to be right now. I worry too much about other peoples opinions of me.

I suck. Or at least I feel like I do.

[saktii]

I have not had a real period since early April, yet all 3 pregnancy tests I've taken have been negative. I'm secretly disappointed, because all I really want is to have a normal happy family complete with loving husband. Though if I were to become pregnant, I'd probably abort because the idea of actually having to be pregnant actually terrifies and repulses me.

[zoya]

I had sex without a condom because it felt good. And it wasn't just for a few seconds and then condom. I stopped us before he came. I went and got the morning after pill afterwards. I know. Not good.


I can't stand the co-manager I've been put with on a project I'm working on. I actually wrote more but I took it off because well, I don't wanna put it out there. Suffice to say I can't F***ing stand the guy.

[auralpoison]

What? YUEFIE! You're SICK cute! I ain't stoopid! Um, that's a WILD post that will take me a bit to respond to.

[yuefie]

Um, not only do I agree with Yuefie, but she's hella hot. Babe, you could never be ugly in my eyes. You could burn down my house & I'd be cool with it. *wolfwhistle*

*blushing and batting my eyelashes*

Why lil' ol moi? Tee hee, thanks Aural!



I too get off on having people towed. But last weekend I was so tired that when I came home to no parking because of all the unauthorized cars in the lot, I actually broke down in tears of frustration and drove the 2 miles to my sisters to sleep there. It was late, I could hardly see and I felt like a giant wuss for some reason. I hate when I feel like that, like I used to when I didn't know how to stand up for myself.



When I was younger I worked for this wretched bitch who used my low self esteem to her advantage. She hired me, semi trained me and then crowed to anyone who'd listen about the "faith" she had in me when I had "no work experience at all", save for all the babysitting I did growing up. Once I was finished with the required schooling and had some practical experience under my belt, she forced me to do the majority of the work while she took all the credit. She mostly sat at her desk with her feet up, licking lolipops while playing games on her ancient computer or chatting on the phone, all while I illegally taught a classroom full of 3, 4 and 5 year olds, with no help. If I had to go to the restroom, I had to wait until she felt like mozying herself back in to relieve me. And to top it all off, I was on salary, and working for a church, so if you broke down what they were paying me for the number of hours I put in (not including the weekends spent santizing the classroom, and shopping to restock supplies), I was making something like $2.25 an hour. She was embezzling from the preschool, and was awful to the kids, but of course nobody believed me. When I went to the Pastor, he accused me of being "hysterical" and "overly emotional". That's why it was so hilarious to me that when I quit, so did she. My last day there, she left early and I was later told never came back. She and I built that school together, from the ground up, while she got all the glory. In the end, she knew she couldn't do it without me, because she didn't really know what to do. Her fancy degree did nothing for her practical knowledge of the job, and she was terrified of being there with someone else she couldn't boss around. The reason I finally left that job was because one of the parents that befriended me outside of work, told me that I was letting her treat me like that because of my own issues with self esteem. She began volunteering in the class with me and noticed who was really doing the work and who the kids really loved. She said to me "I don't know why you are so afraid of her, what is she going to do to you? Pull your pants down and spank you?" This made me crack up, but has also stuck with me. Whenever I am afraid of someone I ask myself that. It has helped me stand up to many a bully and develop my fuck off and kiss my ass 'tude I sport (mostly) today.



I heart this thread and all the posters in it. A heeyoooge group hug and boobiesquishin's for all!

[pixiedust]

I want in on the group hug! Can we add a little boobiesquishing just for fun! I haven't had me soem boobiesquishing in a while!

[agent_wasabi]

*waves* hi!
agent_wasabi = island_girl. i couldn't get my old username to work, so i changed my name. just wanted to clarify my secret identity because i think there used to be a wasabininja on the boards, but she's a different wasabi.

Wasabi is back! hi!

[auralpoison]

Um, not only do I agree with Yuefie, but she's hella hot. Babe, you could never be ugly in my eyes. You could burn down my house & I'd be cool with it. *wolfwhistle*

Jebus, why couldn't you have made me a charming & persuasive dyke instead of a lovelorn hetero geek magnet?

I get off on having people towed. The super cute tow boy knows me by name. When I had whomever towed last night, I came down & presented my parking permit to super cute & he just waved me away. "If he'd just have said it was Aural we wouldn't have needed to go through all this. You know what to do." He really is cute, though.

P.S. It's not fair that I'm not a fag either, because Mr. Magnetic Fields/Merrit is one of the boys o' my dreams.

[mornington]

*flings both arms around yuefie*

Can I admit to feeling the same?