[DarknessbUnnie]

First time poster but I've visted this place for years and now feel the need to get something off of my chest once and for all.

I'm a tiny girl too but within that, I'm a tiny girl within the black community, community that seems to love to hang onto the sterotype that all minority women MUST be of one size to be deemed 'black' and in this case, that size is plus...which I am not.

This...just burns me from the inside out because looking from where I am, I do feel like the oddball out. I really do feel like I am the only black woman in my city with AA breast and a weight of only about 110 pounds or so. (I don't know really. I don't own a scale because I don't really care) I get all sorts of comments about the way I look, about how I shouldn't give in to the 'white standard' (which makes me want to pound my head against a wall) or have complete strangers 'pray to god for my weight' Really, its wearing my nerves down because...well, I really have no other place to vent besides the lounge. If I were to complain elsewhere or just out in the open, I wouldn't get such a, well, an understaning ear I guess.

And the thing is, I really wish people, especially women and minorities, would just drop this 'mah weight is better dan yours' shit because its not helping ANYONE. I mean, what is so empowering and productive about tearing someone down because of their weight, big or small?

I don't know. It just makes me wonder if some of these people acting like this really hear themselves. Why can't I just live my life comfortably without having someone else tell me that I am not living up to the norm of what is deemed 'right'? Why have we let ourselves becoming so indludged in being 'different' that when we are different from our own 'rules' we are suddenly outcast? Really, I have had a bad day and it doesn't get any better when while walking through the book store, I saw this...even though its been out for like forever right?

[img]http://images.barnesandnoble.com/images/14620000/14624979.JPG[/img]
http://books.simonandschuster.com/9780743244565

Can't we all just get along?

[thirteen]

for all the petite Busties: I just found a shopping site that has asian (Japan, South Korea) clothing. The sizing is much smaller than American, look at the measurements. I'm hoping that this can be a new source of cheap, cute, contemporary petite clothing!
Yes Style

Many thanks for this information-- I am a petite woman (5'3", 98 lbs.) and have a tough time finding clothes that both fit and are sophisticated & pretty. Also the clothing at Yes Style is quite affordable-- hooray! An additional plus is that I can buy online and thus avoid going to the mall, which is usually quite a harrowing experience!

[foryoursplendor]

hey snow white, that sounds YUM! I would really like some mcdonalds right about now... ahh, a mcflurry sounds perfect.

[snow white]

i just had a cheeseburger from mcdonalds and it was so GOOD! seriously. i am trying to gain weight which leads me to a diet of donuts and fast food, which everyone tells me is so bad for me, and them i do get sick of it and end up going overboard on cream of wheat and consequently losing some weight again to which everyone says, eat a cheeseburger! *sigh*

but it was so good, i just want to say that!

[crinoline]

for all the petite Busties: I just found a shopping site that has asian (Japan, South Korea) clothing. The sizing is much smaller than American, look at the measurements. I'm hoping that this can be a new source of cheap, cute, contemporary petite clothing!
Yes Style

[snow white]

thanks

[auralpoison]

We do have archives, Snow White. In the future, I suggest you start there or the Forum if you have questions about possibly pre-existing threads. I bumped the tummy ills thread for you.

[snow white]

is there a an IBS/Crohn's disease/UC thread around here? it seems like more and more ppl i know have one of the above.

i have UC and have been having alot of complications from it this year, it's been a rough year. i just got out of the hospital 2 weeks ago and i've lost even more weight. i feel like crap about myself and just kinda want other ppl to bitch with... i've been trying to eat donuts and stuff like that to gain some weight.

i'm not looking forward to summer of "don't you eat?" comments, like one i just got from a co-worker recently, which totally floored me b/c i'm a nurse, and so is this woman. nice...

le sigh

[Aithinne]

Oh, I was going to comment on how much I liked the picture!

What are you going to do with men, eh? *shrugs* LOL.

[anna k]

No, that's Anna Karina, the Danish actress, in the picture, hence where my name came from. My pictures are in the Say Cheese thread.

I don't always know what guys want either.

[Aithinne]

anna k, is that a picture of you? I've been wondering...

I guess the only thing to say is that different body types have different advantages and disadvantages. Women with my body type may be able to wear certain styles of clothing, but dang it is frustrating when you can't fill things out. So it just depends on the kind of clothing you're talking about, as to which body type fits it better. On the other hand, curvy ladies always look womanly, so really, there is no body type that is 'better', which is a horrible thing to say anyway. Regardless of looks, no one is better than anyone else.

I've actually noticed that guys go for women who may not be considered thin either. So they may like thin girls with T&A, as you say, but I think they also notice the not so thin girls too, average women, really. From this side of the line, it seems like they like women who aren't on the thin side, but I'm sure that the curvier girls would refute my statement and explain their perspective of men's behavior. So, who knows really? I guess I don't really know what they like cuz I'm a chick. But I know what I'd go after if I was a guy, and it would definitely be the curvier girls, the beyonce types.

[anna k]

(((((Aithnne)))))

I'm on the other side of the fence, a curvy girl of 5'4 and 130 lbs with triple-D-cup breasts. And I always wanted to be smaller, to not have big noticeable breasts and be thinner. And I assume when men say they like curvy girls it's more like thin girls with T&A, and I'm average-size, not thin but not fat either, in between.

I hated that movie title, too. The idea of being a "real" woman with an hourglass shape is just sexist and stupid, and a lazy way of thinking.

I get embarassed about my shape sometimes, not wanting to have big breasts or think that I look like a caricature of a woman sometimes. It's not always great to have big breasts or a curvy figure, especially if you take a ballet class or want to wear a cute dress and not have big tits stick out. Be proud of yourself, Aithinne, you sound really unique and interesting.

[Aithinne]

OMG I had no idea this forum existed!! I was hanging out in the small boobie support group! But my body issues are much more than just having a small chest. I'm also very thin and not very curvy. 5'2", 110 lbs, and 34B. I've experienced the same comments of ridicule for thin women as well as you other ladies. Annoys the hell out of me. This is my natural body type, and I don't gain weight no matter how much I eat. It seems like these days people are bashing thin people to boost larger people (as if all women who are thin are that way because they have an eating disorder...riiiight). It just seems like a bully tactic.

My whole life I've thought the more volumptuous women were the most beautiful, the most womanly shaped and sexy. Meanwhile I'm over here with very little curves and feel like an adolescent. These days it seems like whenever you ask men what type of bodies they like for women, it's always the curvy girls. I almost feel like they don't feel they can say they like thin women because they might be considered to be shallow and mean. But then, I feel bad because my whole life I've thought no one would want me because I didn't look feminine or curvy. I just wonder if there are men out there who would be attracted to me because of my petite-ness, be attracted to me even though I wasn't curvy. I've never felt that womanly or that attractive because of my natural body type, and that is sad.

And don't even get me started on that movie "Real Women Have Curves" UGH!!! The movie is good, but the title pisses the hell out of me... to oblivion. So what, AM I NOT A REAL WOMAN? Give me a break!! That just reaffirms every insecurity I have about being thin: you're not womanly, not feminine, therefore you are not beautiful or sexy and no man is ever going to want you unless he's a pedofile. GRRRRR. Why is my body type so unacceptable, and why do people feel that they have permission to comment to me about it? I have NEVER commented to a larger woman about her size. EVER. It is so inappropriate and rude, regardless of body type.

It also seems to me like if you talk about your small size with other people and try to discuss how it could make you have self-esteem problems to be so thin, they look at you like you're an idiot and have no idea what you're talking about. You're just a 'skinny bitch' for having a single problem with your supposed "perfect" size. They are completely baffled as to how a thin woman could be insecure and have no interest in listening to the reason WHY. At least larger women do not feel like they cannot claim their status as WOMEN. They may or may not feel unattractive in their own skin, but at least they see themselves as WOMEN. I sometimes feel not only unattractive, but an unattractive BOY, or unattractive non-entity. I feel bad when women who are larger don't even want to listen to me, or even try to understand me. It makes me feel like because I have a certain body type, that I'm not worth empathizing with. And it's hurtful because I have always tried to understand and empathize with other people.

I would love to be pretty and curvy and womanly. But I'm not (according to social ideals) and it's not my fault. I shouldn't be ridiculed for it. The grass is always greener on the other side, but in reality, every natural body type should be appreciated and seen as attractive and womanly. Just because some of us aren't very curvy doesn't mean we're not 'real women'. *end rant*

[girl_logic]

HT, maybe you should look towards getting affordable dresses tailored locally. Dry Cleaners sometimes have this service at affordable rates, and you could try your local craigslist too for seamstresses. Shortening hems like on that dress you liked shouldn't be too crazy expensive. Should it?

[strawberry_love2...]

There's a lot of places in the mall where you can buy cheap dresses. I'm 5'3 and I shop at forever21 and Macys for clothes/dresses. They're really cute and inexpensive. It should fit you real good.

[hellotampon]

No this was at Target, but I've had the same problem in pretty much every store I've ever been to.

[ketto]

Is that at Old Navy, tampon? I get really annoyed with them because they definitely vanity size. I'm usually a small but I always have to wear xxs at old navy. I had the same thing happen recently with the dresses, seems like you need to be at least 5'5 for them to hang right.

[ketto]

Is that at Old Navy, tampon? I get really annoyed with them because they definitely vanity size. I'm usually a small but I always have to wear xxs at old navy. I had the same thing happen recently with the dresses, seems like you need to be at least 5'5 for them to hang right.

[hellotampon]

I'm 5'3", fairly thin, but I have big boobs so I can't fit into children's sizes. Every dress I try on is an awkward length. And the straps and armholes and what-have-yous are too long. Like I tried on a sleeveless dress the other day that actually fit in the bust and the waist, but it came down to my calves, so it looked "off." And it was an XS. I looked on the website to see if they have sizes for short people and saw the same dress on a model and the hemline was over the knee and it looked so much cuter. Now I know that I'm no model but still...

[Allison-Shine]

yes to TJ Maxx and Marshalls, sometimes it's all crap and sometimes it's treasure.
I live in a not so big city and there are not many sources for petite clothing, especially at low prices.

HT - I have worn Old Navy children's clothing, which fit my PP body surprisingly well, and it's very cheap!

I was going to mention Old Navy but I dind't know how teeny-tiny some of the posters were, LOL