[catsoup]

I've got a TTC question: My period over a week late and in that week I've had three negative at home pregnancy tests, including this morning. I've been experiencing a bit of nausea (not much, no puking) and some cramps. I've also noticed some clear to whitish discharge when I wipe. No other symptoms to speak of. In the 8 months I've been off hormonal birth control (after more than a decade on it), my period has never been this late. I'm definitely stressed out (we're buying a house) and think that's contributing to all of this. Any advice? How long should I wait before calling the doctor?

Thanks for any help/reassurance you can offer.

[Fookie]

Wonderful birth story, Apehlendra! Thank you for sharing it.

Michelina, so glad the scan went well. I think of you often and remember how we both despaired so much on this thread and how much both our lives have changed since even a few months ago.

Nicklick and Funny, so good to hear from you. Happy to hear things are going well for both of you. Look forward to hearing more news as these last weeks unfold.

I have not breastfed, but I wanted to jump in with some advice about the thrush anyway if that's OK ... my sister who is very yeasty naturally managed to avoid thrust and diaper rash (also yeast-based) by taking a really good probiotic supplement as suggested by her mid-wife. My best friend's son had thrush that just wouldn't go away ... her pharmacist finally told her to try canesten (yep!) and assured her it was safe for him to ingest. She said it worked like a charm but tasted disgusting (she tasted to see what her son would be tasting). When we brought Finn home he had been on a course of antibiotics for thrush and the bottle was almost empty and he still had it pretty bad. Coincidentally our naturopath had suggested some good quality probiotic powder to add to his bottle to help mature his intestines (he was having horrible evening gas/colic issues) ... she said the probiotic would help prevent the thrush from returning ... well sure enough the thrush suddenly magically cleared up and we've had no issues since (he's still taking the probiotic).

I sadly don't really have time to update but my god do i ever have some updating to do ... Finn is doing fantastic but we've run into some very scary (but so far resolved) issues with the actual adoption. Emotions are stretched to the limit at this point but it seems the outcome will be positive and we will eventually be able to get back to teh business of doing nothing but love our magnificent son.

Oh, and Zelda, thrilled to hear the breastfeeding has gotten easier!

[nickclick]

that's great news delib! i went back at about 25 weeks and she saw that it moved. well, at first she said no and then she said she was thrown off by a muscle contract and said yes, it had moved. i asked my OB about going again but she feels confident in the reading. is 33 weeks another routine scan? OB said i won't be getting a peek at baby again until s/he arrives!

[delibelly]

Nickclick, I just wanted to let you know that my placenta has moved to 6.5 cm (they want at least 2.5) at my 33 week ultrasound. I know you and I both had low-lying placenta and I hope my news will encourage you to think the best. When will you find out?

[nickclick]

aphelendra, thanks for sharing your story! and for sharing your breastfeeding concerns, and to all for sharing your advice. breastfeeding is the thing i'm most worried about doing wrong. i've changed diapers before, but breastfeeding seems so foreign. im gonna print out all of your advice and tuck it away in whatever book(s) i get on the topic. any suggestions?

michelina that's great news! it's really happening! oh the 18/20 week scan is the best. you'll be there for like an hour and see baby from every angle. will you find out boy/girl? we went for a "bringing home baby" class at the hospital the other night and out of about 12 preggos i was the only one waiting for birthday to find out. i'm so excited for the "it's a ____' moment, but i can't help but think baby may be less abstract if it had a name already other than the few nicknames of baby and peanut.

funny, i'm at 30 weeks too! glad you're doing well too and thanks for checking in on me. yes the bumping around is constant now!

speaking of bumping (and grinding), mr.nick and i have been afraid to have sex since i was in the hospital a few weeks ago with minor premature contractions, because of the old wives' tale that sex will help induce labor. we had sex the morning before i had the contractions. so silly right?

[Michelina]

Funnybird, great to hear from you! I cannot believe how far along you are now! Good to hear that babybird is doing well, although it does sound a little uncomfortable.

My scan went great today. The nuchal measurement was nice and low. We still need to wait for the blood test results, but I feel pretty reassured that it will likely be okay. It was amazing to see how much baby changed since 3 weeks ago. I feel so good and excited! Our next ultrasound will be the standard one at 18 - 20 weeks, which will be in October. That feels so far away! At least I'll get to hear baby's heart beat at my next doc appointment in a few weeks. I am so looking forward to feeling movement. Still in shock that this is really happening and not just a wonderful dream.

[zelda]

Funny, so great to hear from you! I can't believe you're almost at 30 weeks! That is so awesome. Make sure you take lots of pictures of yourself. I didn't want any photos of me after 32 weeks because I felt so huge, but now I kind of wish I'd taken one right up at the end when I could barely walk. :-)

Michelina, how did it go? Swimmingly, I'm sure...oh, so soon you'll be in the wonderful second tri - the golden stage of pregnancy! :-)

Aphelendra, bless you for continuing the BFing...I don't think I would have made it given everything you have gone through. Hang in there and know whatever choices you make are the right ones for your baby and you. Remember, you need to take care of yourself, too. Those cracks you are talking about - I had them, too, although mine did respond well to Lansinoh. Screw your neighbors - sun those nips!

Elliott and I are visiting my parents on the East Coast while Mr. Z holds down the fort back home. E is so tuckered out from all the activity he is sleeping from 8 or 9 pm at night until 8 am with only one feeding around 3 or 4 am. Bliss! His colic meltdowns continue to improve and he is doing lots of cooing and laughing. The best part is watching him analyze his hands. He adores them! :-)

[funnybird]

Michelina, how did it go?

Aphelendra, don't worry about hijacking. It's good to have a realistic idea of what's to come - although I know that both my SILs have really struggled with breastfeeding, so already my view is less than rose-tinted. Loved your birth story too.

I'm 29 weeks and 2 days! My back aches, I feel like I have a constant stitch in my side and Babybird hardly ever stops wriggling and kicking. I keep feeling little hard lumps in my bump - at first I panicked and thought I had a hernia, then it moved and I realised it was just a tiny foot/ knee/ elbow jammed against the wall of my uterus.

Nickclick and Luleey, how are you doing?

[Michelina]

Aphelendra, your birth story was beautiful and inspiring. Thank you for sharing it. Sorry to hear that breast feeding is a struggle. It seems that pretty much everyone I know also struggled. I used to naively think that it would be easy as it's natural, but that is so not the case. Good for you for hanging in there and trying. And although I have no advice for you based on experience, I think the Busties here are right that you shouldn't beat yourself up.

Nickclick, glad to hear the diabetes screen was all good. Yay for ice cream.

I have my nuchal scan in one hour. So excited and nervous!!!

[aphelendra]

Ha! Douche canoe! Thanks for the giggle deli, I needed it. And many many thanks to all for their concern. I'm hoping, like you lovely ladies, that something will turn around by the 6-8 week mark. She's about 4.5 weeks now.

I did end up having thrush (stabbing burning AGONY, oh my goodness), so I'm hoping once the incredibly loooooong treatment is over for that things will improve. Mostly right now I'm worried about the incredible cracks I've gotten goin' on. One has been there since she was ten days old and doesn't ever seem to be getting better. There are multiple deep cracks on both sides and I just can't seem to get them to go away, despite all the TLC I can muster. I've tried just about everything I can think of, except for exposing my breasts to sunlight for five minutes a day. I live in the city, and I don't think my ultra conservative catholic neighbors would take kindly to the sight of me sunnin' my nips in the backyard . . . .

We've had our latch checked by both an LC and the CPM who taught my childbirth class, and it appears good. I've tried shields, shells, lansinoh, Dr. Newman's (worked for a while then quit on me), diflucan, air drying, pumping (hurt too much and baby currently won't accept finger feeding or a bottle), ibuprofen, and I've been attending a weekly support group for nursing moms (not la leche but similar).

Sheesh.

Thanks for letting me vent. Just the fact that ya'll took the time to share your experiences and advice means the world.

Pregnant busties, I've hijacked your thread . . . . how are you all?

[julie124]

aphelendra, what a wonderful birth story! Thank you so much for sharing, and congratulations again on your lovely girl. I agree with you, it was a huge help for me that they weren't obsessive about checking my progress, because it meant that by the time things were really intense I'd actually made it almost all the way through transition.

Add me to the list of women who had big-time breastfeeding challenges. Like zelda, it took me probably about 6-8 weeks to kind of get the hang of things. Also, I was fortunate enough to be able to taper off the formula and just go with boob juice all the way now, but I completely agree with zelda's statement that a happy mommy with formula is better than a sad mommy with exclusive breastfeeding.

My nipples hurt like hell too...the ladies had some great advice and I second that, but here are a couple of additions:
-Ibuprofen if your doc says it's OK. I found it really helped me with the inflammation on the nips.
-Soothies - these are these silicone disks that you can put on your nipples if they're really sore. They feel really good if you keep them in the refrigerator
-I can't remember what you call it - I think it's a nipple shield? - but when I was getting Henry back on the breast and my nips were still healing it was a big help. Eventually it worked better to get him on without it, but it really helped me get him on without searing pain every time.
-If you find that it hurts a lot when she's really hungry, try giving her a little from the bottle first, then switching to the boob - I found that made him less likely to practically tear my nipple off.
-If you're OK pumping, sometimes a little break from directly having her on the boob might help. Pumping is, of course, its own whole deal, and I completely understand if you don't want to get on that train.
-Sometimes hanging out shirtless for a day is a real help for healing your nipples. I always felt weird doing it, but it does help.
-Be patient waiting for them to open their mouths really wide...sometimes it feels like all they ever do is that little bitty mouth, and they are furious at you for not getting the milk to them NOW...I know it's hard!
-If they drink from a bottle sometimes, try to encourage good mouth position on that (and on pacifiers too). I was always like, "Where are my fish lips? I need fish lips, buddy!"
-Get someone to give you a break if you can. I found that I was able to cope a lot better when I'd had a shower or a nap or an hour out of the house without Henry...being at home alone with a little bitty one for many many hours has a weird effect on your psyche, I think. Especially in the early days when you're terrified of breaking them and everyone is telling you, "You are the expert on your baby" but you feel like a big dumbass because he has been crying like he's never cried before and you have no clue what he wants, so does that mean you suck at learning your baby? Hmm, maybe that was just me. ;-)

Take care...like delibelly says, it's hard for almost everyone, and most of us have ended up in tears at one point or another. It's okay. You will figure it out, but don't feel bad asking for help, because it ain't intuitive.

How are the mamas-to-be holding up?

[zelda]

delibelly, "a big douche canoe" is my NEW favorite saying! :-)

[delibelly]

I think I mentioned before that I was the QUEEN of breastfeeding hiccups. I've had everything except mastitus.

So...if it hurts when she latches on and you are noticing sores on your nipple, that is a latch problem. some tips:

I have nipples like tea saucers, but still, try to get your whole nipple area (areola et al.) into the mouth. You can try pinching your nipple as Pepper suggested and jamming it in there when she opens WIDE.

Make sure she opens wide by teasing her with the nipple until she does, or by using your pinky finger to drop her lower jaw a bit when she opens her mouth.

If you have sores, I found that this cream, a creation of Dr. Jack Newman (google it) worked great. Before I tried it, my soars would not heal and (one in particular) was just re-opening and re-opening. Argh. Painful.

If you feel a burning sensation on the nipple at first, that tapers off as she nurses, that could be Thrush. They can give you gentian violet (purple stuff) to put on the nipple to take it away from the exterior. You may also want to adopt a sugar free diet for a bit to get rid of any internal Thrush that could be transferred back to baby (vicious cycle.)

If you feel a burning sensation within the breast at let down, baby nurses swiftly and is gaining weight at an extraordinary rate (little chubster), that could be overactive let-down and you may find it helps to nurse while lying on your back until your flow regulates itself.

If you have flat/inverted nipples, they make little discs you can put on the areola that sort of forces the nipple out, so that baby can latch properly.

There it is folks, as much wisdom as I have on breastfeeding. Minus mastitus.


I was thinking about what Zelda said about the cult of breastfeeding, and in my research I found that one in ten women does NOT experience difficulty breastfeeding. NINE OUT OF TEN women questioned reported difficulty with breastfeeding . So, if you are committed to it, aphelendra (and mommies out there who have yet to get to there) make sure to read up about it, see a consultant or join a La Leche League near you. I was very committed to it and after 6-8 weeks I finally figured it out, but you know what? Only a big douche canoe would judge a woman for bottle feeding.

[delibelly]

I think I mentioned before that I was the QUEEN of breastfeeding hiccups. I've had everything except mastitus.

So...if it hurts when she latches on and you are noticing sores on your nipple, that is a latch problem. some tips:

I have nipples like tea saucers, but still, try to get your whole nipple area (areola et al.) into the mouth. You can try pinching your nipple as Pepper suggested and jamming it in there when she opens WIDE.

Make sure she opens wide by teasing her with the nipple until she does, or by using your pinky finger to drop her lower jaw a bit when she opens her mouth.

If you have sores, I found that this cream, a creation of Dr. Jack Newman (google it) worked great. Before I tried it, my soars would not heal and (one in particular) was just re-opening and re-opening. Argh. Painful.

If you feel a burning sensation on the nipple at first, that tapers off as she nurses, that could be Thrush. They can give you gentian violet (purple stuff) to put on the nipple to take it away from the exterior. You may also want to adopt a sugar free diet for a bit to get rid of any internal Thrush that could be transferred back to baby (vicious cycle.)

If you feel a burning sensation within the breast at let down, baby nurses swiftly and is gaining weight at an extraordinary rate (little chubster), that could be overactive let-down and you may find it helps to nurse while lying on your back until your flow regulates itself.

If you have flat/inverted nipples, they make little discs you can put on the areola that sort of forces the nipple out, so that baby can latch properly.

There it is folks, as much wisdom as I have on breastfeeding. Minus mastitus.


I was thinking about what Zelda said about the cult of breastfeeding, and in my research I found that one in ten women does NOT experience difficulty breastfeeding. NINE OUT OF TEN women questioned reported difficulty with breastfeeding . So, if you are committed to it, aphelendra (and mommies out there who have yet to get to there) make sure to read up about it, see a consultant or join a La Leche League near you. I was very committed to it and after 6-8 weeks I finally figured it out, but you know what? Only a big douche canoe would judge a woman for bottle feeding.

[zelda]

Yes, positioning makes a huge difference. I know you are already using the Brest Friend pillow...for me, I HAD to have Elliott in the football hold on the left boob and the cross cradle on the right. It was the only way it would work for weeks and weeks...now I could do anything, but not in the beginning.

Hang in there, aphelendra, and remember you are trying and that's what counts. DO NOT beat yourself up!!

[pepper]

Generally it isn't supposed to hurt if everything is happening as it should but... teeny tiny baby mouth can only open up so wide as you said and that's a factor for sure. When the girl was new I had to be very careful to get a good latch with her, teased her bottom lip until she really opened up, pinched my nipple flat as I could and really jammed it in there. Otherwise I'd feel it in a most unpleasant way for sure! Once I got a blister right on the tip of one nipple, yea Gawds! That was hurty. And once your nipples are tender it just exaccerbates the situation.

Be sure to see a consultant and show them your latch if you haven't already, sometimes we really are doing some small thing that can be adjusted for immediate relief. Also, some babies are better in certain positions (which may change as they grow).

Best of luck, I know how hard it can be so I'm thrilled to hear you're both toughing it out, bravo for you!

[zelda]

Aphelendra...a bit more before I turn in for the night.

Sounds like pain may be your problem. I had very painful nipples, too...I would literally feel throbbing pains through them at night...it was horrible. I would grit my teeth and cry they hurt so bad when I nursed.

A few things that helped...

*Airing them out whenever possible

*Smearing that Lansinoh cream on them constantly constantly constantly

*Using disposable rather than cloth nursing pads (I used the disposable Lansinoh brand)...I found they stuck less to the scabs on my nipples than the cloth ones. I changed out the disposable ones constantly. Around 6 or 7 weeks I graduated to the cloth ones and now my BFing is pretty well established and I don't need to use them at all.

*Ibuprofen for pain

*Really ramming that baby's mouth on there! I found that part of my problem was Elliott's latch was just too close to my nipple. Part of the problem is that a newborn's mouth is really teeny! As they get older and their mouths can open wider, they are so far from your nipple it is not a problem.

*My left nipple always hurt more than my right, so I would always start out on the right side so by the time he got to the left, he wasn't sucking so furiously

You probably already know all this...but I thought I would put it in there. I don't believe those lactation consultants who say BFing is never supposed to hurt. BS! Then how come EVERY WOMAN I KNOW who has breastfed has had some level of pain - some of them LOTS of pain? Makes no sense to me.

Hang in there.

[zelda]

Aphelendra...thank you for sharing your birth story with us! I want to write more but a friend is about to pop in.

I want to let you know that nursing did not come easily for me, either. It took about 6 weeks to feel like I had the hang of things...now it is 11 weeks and it's the easiest thing in the world but it did not come easily! I almost gave up several times, and truth be told, we are supplementing with formula because I absolutely hate pumping and refuse to pump. We plan on giving Elliott formula during the day when I go back to work and I will nurse at night for as long as I feel comfortable. I'm admitting right here and now I was never in love with nursing and still am not and THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT.

Seriously...I spent so much of my soon-to-be-over-with maternity leave fretting about nursing and my feelings about it. I may start a bit of a @#$%#storm with this comment, but frankly, a happy mother giving formula is better than a sad mother giving breastmilk. I truly do believe this with all of my heart, and my pediatrician agreed.

I don't want to tell you to give up...and it does get easier most of the time, but please please please PLEASE don't beat yourself up about having a difficult time breastfeeding. Frankly, I think a cult of breastfeeding has developed that is really, really unhealthy for women and babies. Women feel punished or like failures if it doesn't go smoothly or if they are not in love with it. So ridiculous! Formula is not the devil's milk (my pediatrician's words exactly).

Let me know the trouble you are having and perhaps I can help...you can PM me. :-)

[aphelendra]

So we have been having a very tough time nursing, which explains my absence from the board lately. But I thought I would take this opportunity to share Sarah Marie's birth story with everyone . . . .Nursing may be a total disaster (well, not total, baby is thriving, its just mama who's suffering), but our birth was really beautiful, and I'm hoping that taking a moment to remember it with everyone will cheer me up.

Thursday afternoon I saw my midwife for a 39 week checkup. Dilated 2 cm and 90% effaced. She suggested stripping my membranes in hopes that it would get things moving. I spent the rest of the night being mighty uncomfortable and crampy, but by midnight that night I felt like things had slowed down and resigned myself to being pregnant for a while longer.

Wrong, wrong I was. Friday morning I woke up with contractions and immediately knew that labor had started. The contractions were much different right off the bat. By eight, Mr. was up and found me curled over the side of the couch in very obvious labor.

We labored at home until about noon, by which point contractions were about 3 minutes apart, and then started loading up the car to make the trip to the hospital. Ladies, do not get in the front seat when in labor. It is excruciating to be confined in that position. Yikes.

We got to the hospital around one (took a while to get out the door). Only 5 cm! With contractions so close together I was hoping to be much further along, but it turns out I just had kind of a funny labor. So I walked and rested until about four or five when the room with the birth tub opened up. Warm water is lovely lovely lovely in labor. Labored in the tub until about eight when my water broke with a big pop. At this point I was feeling a little 'pushy', so the midwife checked my cervix again. I was 9.5 with a small anterior lip left. Honestly, if I'd been dilated any less I would have lost it and considered medication at that point. I really believe that the key to surviving without meds is to not obsess over progress . . . . I'm so glad I didn't know how dilated I was and eternally grateful to my midwife for not obsessively checking me. In childbirth class I had been told transition (7-10 cm) was the hardest part of labor, but most of it passed without me even knowing I was in transition.

At this point, I could either wait or start pushing while the midwife held the lip out of way. OHMYFUCKINGGOD. Eventually, I begged her to take her fingers away because I just couldn't stand it (exact words were "NO MORE HANDS! NO FINGERS!). So many people had told me that pushing was a relief after laboring for so long and that it would feel good to push against the pain. Gotta say, not so for me. Maybe I was expecting too much, but I hated hated hated pushing. And it took over three hours to get the little bugs out.

Crowning was not as bad as I expected, and it was strange/amazing to actually feel a baby move through the birth canal. I felt her head pop out and then felt her shoulders slide out and then she was on my belly, nice and pink but choking a bit. Again, I thank the midwife. The nurses almost grabbed her away to start suctioning her, but she shooed them away, saying baby was pink and had good tone and to leave her be, and sure enough she started crying in just a minute. At this point I think I kind of checked out mentally. We have a little bit of video from after the birth and I look absolutely dazed.

The placenta delivery was a bit hairy, I bled a lot and they had to give me pitocin and cytotec to stop the bleeding. I also tore just a bit (recovery from the tear was not bad at all, I promise!) Eventually, the river of blood subsided and we were off to recovery . . . . All in all, it was overwhelming, beautiful, empowering, and everything we could have hoped it to be.

Now we're having a really really tough time nursing, but that's a whole other whiny complainy post to come . . . .

Hope all are well, I'm off to have my nipple chewed up.

[nickclick]

Michelina, normal is good! cramping was normal for me too.

i'm clear on the gestational diabetes and have been eating ice cream like milk is going outta style! phew.

we are checking out a few more daycare options today. mostly centers, but one home daycare provider. i loved her but logistically and geographically, we'll likely pick a center close to home. and we're in talks with the 2 Grandmas about alternating one day a week of babysitting, which will be great and probably just enough for baby, mommy and grandmas.