[karategrrl]

Then when I became of drinking age (30 years ago) I went to a strip club and noticed that "hands down" the smaller breasted women made a lot more money.

I know I may regret responding to this, but I can't help myself...

This guy doesn't sound like he's been to a strip club since then. Even if that were true, it sure ain't the way it is now. That's why implants are pretty much a requirement if you want to make $$ stripping.

Pollystyrene:
Yes, at this very moment, men (many with large afros, European accents, and that smell of cheap cologne and breath spray) must be writing down this web addy from a lonely bathroom stall somewhere...

Ugh.

[Persiflager]

*sneaks across from boingy boobed central...*

Lightchested is right (below) - more attention from men? Definitely. More attention from men you'd want paying attention to you? Not so much.

I haven't come over to be all 'poor me', just to say that the opinions of idiots shouldn't be allowed to count. If we lined up a selection of smart, hot, non-chauvinist men I suspect the lascivious glances would be much more evenly spread around. Actually, that's quite tempting...

I also totally agree with all the media bollocks, they're all about the cleavage. But River Tam is hot and kicks ass.

*swings boobs over left shoulder, checks left and right, and crosses the road back to home*

[auralpoison]

Of course he is, 97.8% of the time those are the only two forums MWETS frequent to give us silly little wimmins the benefit of their vast knowledge of all. The so-called "help" in the depression thread was an anomaly.

[culturehandy]

He's in the oral sex thread, too.

*snorts at polly's comment*

[Vendetta]

They must think they are doing us a favour!

[Vendetta]

Is there a link to this thread written on a wall in a men's bathroom somewhere?

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

[auralpoison]

Le sigh. *head meet desk* Repeat as needed.

[pollystyrene]

Is there a link to this thread written on a wall in a men's bathroom somewhere?

[mynameislala]

Now for the issue you brought up: that you perceive a competitive disadvantage for a smallie to catch a mate with all of our boingy-boobed counterparts habitating our same earth. Yes, I'll admit, that is very annoying. Those Boingy Boobs not only seem to collect men like loose change at the bottom of a purse, but they have the nerve to complain about "unwanted male attention". My sister is one, in fact, and while she gets tons of "unwanted male attention", I "enjoy" the gift of being invisible. If only I could turn it into a superpower somehow and save the earth with my powers of invisibility amongst mankind. But I stray.

I will admit, I do think we are seen (or not seen!) differently because of our "light of chest" situation. My Boingy Boobed sister and cousin told me over Christmas that they have NEVER been written a ticket (e.g. for traffic violations), though they've been pulled over plenty of times. Hmmm. I spent December 18 in a Detroit court fighting for my right to text while driving (I lost. There goes $160 worth of bra money. At the La Senza sale in Canada right now, that could have bought me 16 bras!)

Yes! I thought I was the only one who though that the "Oh, honey, I get so much UNWANTED ATTENTION! You don't want that!" was annoying.

How do they know what we want? At the very least, while I wouldn't like unwanted attention all the time, I'd like to have big breasts sometimes only to feel a bit more secure if my guy would ever take a peek at one of those who don't want the attention, yet wear low cut or very tight tops. How pathetic is that? that sometimes I'd like to have big ones only to feel I'm not competing?

In my opinion these women (ok, some of these women...) do want the attention but say they don't only to not end up seen like whores. Because really "I don't want the ATTENTION! Oh, poor me!" but there she is wearing HUGE cleavage. I'm not saying all big breasted women are like this, but a lot of them are. Gee, enjoy the advantages you have. Like the speeding ticket thing. It can't be just a coincidence. And if you don't want the attention then be a woman and go to the pervert, look up to him and tell him something like "Stop looking at me you sick pervert! I'm not a piece of meat!".

I'm sorry if any big breasted woman thinks I'm bitter, because I am. I'm sorry if I offended you, but these days I've felt pretty bad about my breasts (which aren't that small - a small B). If I lost weight to be as acceptable as Hollywood girls, then I'd be flat! You know, these women are stick thin with big B or C cups. Which is unattainable for most of us anyway. So I'm not gonna go and lose weight. Because big breasted women always say "Oh, but look at sitcoms, most actresses don't have big breasts". Yeah, right. They may not be Ds or DDs, but they usually are like Cs which is BIG compared to what most of us are. Sure, I may be a B, which is a bit more popular on TV. But women with small breasts who complain about not being represented are right. How many AAs or As do you see on TV? How many of them are portrayed as sexy characters with a lot of luck in their love lives? Now, how many flat chested jokes do you hear when such a woman is in a show?

I'm starting to believe that nowadays, even Cs or Ds are small... because people have grown so accustomed to seeing DDs or above. Trust me, some people (men especially) are starting to think that Ds are average or medium sized... and some people claim that Cs are SMALL. Since WHEN?

And Jesus Christ, some men talk the same bullshit. Like "oh, but women in shows aren't really big breasted!". Yeah right. And also, it's not only about shows. What about Axe ads? What about shows like Two and a Half men? What about stupid movies like Bachelor Party 2? Or shows like Girls Next Door? What about Maxim? God, what about those magazines in the UK or Australia (can't remember) where they had a contest to win a free breast augmentation for your girlfriend? What about this stupid website, AskMen.com, where they had an article on how to convince your girlfriend to get a boob job, and another "brilliant" piece where a man said that in reality (and God forbid he was actually admitting it) breast size doesn't matter, especially when your "cat whipped" but that when you're single, of course it's all about big breasts? And of course their galleries...

And you have the nerve to say that most media portrays small chested women. Give me a break!

Yeah, being invisible is great! Because trust me, nowadays, even a B cup is invisible. Again, i'm sorry if I'm angry, bitter and offensive. But these are my feelings. Just as I have to "accept" and "deal with" the media's depictions of beauty and sexiness, and men's like for it, men and big breasted women will have to accept my feelings of inadequacy and hostility to their stupid crap.

Done, this feels much better...

(BTW, I sense there might be a new MWET around...)

[RandyBrador]

OK, my first entry on my first day here. I don't know where all the generalizations have come from. Not everyone likes pizza, not everyone likes the beach, and not everyone likes big breasts. I'm one of those guys that was never quite amused by enowed women. (Sort of like the women that may not be so engrossed in an endowed man.) Then when I became of drinking age (30 years ago) I went to a strip club and noticed that "hands down" the smaller breasted women made a lot more money. I realized that I wasn't a freak at that time and we just all have preferences. In closing, I guess I believe that we are all different for a reason and I think we all search for the things we prefer. But what we are not the right fit for one, we will be the perfect fit for another.

[lightchested]

Vendetta,

Heavy.

I know where you're coming from, and there's no more I can say than what you already did.

And I hate when men try to silence us for speaking our minds, spitting out the word "feminist" as though it's a synonym for "bitch".

Karma. It's all we've got. Maybe they'll be women in their next lives. Maybe then they'll see why we say these things, because they'll be saying them too. (Not that it does us any good now.)

[Vendetta]

Yes... when I get pissed off at some "boingy boobs" (lightchested!) walking around some crap on tv, I'm accused of being a men-hater, feminist, etc... and generally we end up pissed off at each other. The problem is that I know that when that happens, it's almost always breast-related. He knows that too and it pisses me off even more. But the other day we were watching the movie "Blindness" and there's this part where the dominant group claims that women from the other groups have to offer themselves in exchange for food and well.. we get to see them going to their room and being taken advantage from all these pigs (one of them even gets killed) and my heart was like trying to pop out of my mouth and I started calling men pigs and such... "there you go with that men-talk!" he claims. I'm sorry but... would women ever think or do the same?...

Who are the rapists?
Who are the sexual offenders?
Who are the pedophiles?

Men.

Men-hater? Perhaps.

[neurotic.nelly]

Hey karategrrl - There is a bigger issue for guys, and it isn't necessarily the size of their dick, because they aren't the first thing we see nor are they the first thing that attracts us. Guys don't go around getting women by flashing their huge peckers. The bigger issue, for men, it would seem, is balding. Oh nothing smells of insecurity more than a balding man, especially when it's premature. It's heads above the rest (pun intended, i am horrible with jokes).

[lightchested]

Mindy82-

I know where you're coming from, but try to be strong and push through the fear. You can leave this guy and find another, and don't worry that the next guy "might be worse" (as I often do) because if he is...he will become part of your past faster than this guy did. Each guy only gets more suited to you than the last, because I think a person does a kind of "natural selection" in which she doesn't let herself go backwards in terms of what she will accept. Your mind just won't allow it- it will weed out dickweeds much quicker than it did the first time it ran into similar specimens of dickweed. So that fear (if you have it, as I always have) can be put to rest: the next one will not be "worse".

Now for the issue you brought up: that you perceive a competitive disadvantage for a smallie to catch a mate with all of our boingy-boobed counterparts habitating our same earth. Yes, I'll admit, that is very annoying. Those Boingy Boobs not only seem to collect men like loose change at the bottom of a purse, but they have the nerve to complain about "unwanted male attention". My sister is one, in fact, and while she gets tons of "unwanted male attention", I "enjoy" the gift of being invisible. If only I could turn it into a superpower somehow and save the earth with my powers of invisibility amongst mankind. But I stray.

I will admit, I do think we are seen (or not seen!) differently because of our "light of chest" situation. My Boingy Boobed sister and cousin told me over Christmas that they have NEVER been written a ticket (e.g. for traffic violations), though they've been pulled over plenty of times. Hmmm. I spent December 18 in a Detroit court fighting for my right to text while driving (I lost. There goes $160 worth of bra money. At the La Senza sale in Canada right now, that could have bought me 16 bras!)

I could not complete this entry earlier because a coworker was eating stinky food so I went to Canada to pass the time. I got detained by customs on the way back and wondered if my sister would have been waved on through??? I couldn't help laughing at the "Welcome to the United States" sign on the wall, with instructions on how to be fingerprinted on that same sign (instructions in English, French, and two languages I didn't recognize that don't use our same alphabet). Yeah, I felt real welcome, sitting on a hard plastic chair while bomb sniffing dogs searched my car and customs officials went through all the photos in my phone to see if I had taken any shots that were a threat to national security.

But to your point, from which I continue to deviate, I do suspect that we don't have the same vast selection of male sex partners that the "boing of boob" have, but maybe our smaller selection contains a higher combined average of niceness? And since small ones are used in art, we may get the more artistic guys. How many implanted women have you seen in artisitic nude photographs? (I'm not talking about the porn websites that call themselves "art nudes"...I'm talking about in an art gallery, or in photography books)

A particularly honest friend of mine recently told me that he would not feel comfortable with a girl with large breasts because he'd be overwhelmed by her "womanity" (womanliness). So maybe for men who aren't the smash-the-beer can-on-the-head types, "too much woman" may not be a good thing. This particularly honest man said that he wants a girl that lets him feel like a man, and big knockers would be a confrontation to his manhood. This may sound ghastly to the more feminista of readers, but this guy is NOT overly "manly" in the stereotypical way. He is manly because he expresses his feelings (tears and all) often, without fear, and with scant apology. I appreciate that kind of manhood. He doesn't let himself get boxed into the stereotype of a "real man". As such, I think he doesn't want a woman who is the stereotypical "uber-woman".

I thought his observation was interesting...perhaps remotely ( ) insulting if one reads into it, but interesting.

[karategrrl]

i was kind of erm testing the waters with this guy today by mentioning how I'd thought about getting a boob job in the past- "why? small ones are the hottest" eee. chichis a-go-go.

MARRY THAT MAN IMMEDIATELY!!

Okay, a few random replies/thoughts:

treehugger: I salute you for working in a male-dominated trade. I know I'd get so infuriated on a daily (or minute-ly) basis with all that male posturing bullshit I wouldn't last a week. I bow to you, O Amazing Woman. (Side story: I know someone who is a female electrician. I swear, she LOOVES her job not so much for the work itself, but for the fact that she looooves being the only woman, and all the attention that she gets from it. When I asked about her work, I expected her to talk about...er...electrical work! But no, I got a 30-minute monologue about how great it is to have men staring at her all day. Complete attention ho.)

But I digress...I've had those "so glad I don't have big knockers" thoughts in similar situations: working on my house, doing martial arts, etc.

mynameislala, I really feel your pain. Men really DO NOT understand what it's like to be an intelligent, small-breasted woman and see women portrayed in the media that way. It is an argument I've had my the hubby many, many times and I get similar reactions. "It's no big deal," he insists. YET.....we were watching the Sex And The City movie and there's that scene with the hot naked guy taking a shower outside, with all the close-ups, and my hubby was like, "Oh, puhleeese....!!!" Too funny. I LOVE that they showed a man like that--and not even for the eye candy, though he had a nice body--just for some fucking EQUALITY, finally!!!! Oooh, I could go on and on with this topic for hours, but I won't. It's not fair, it IS a big deal, and they can't understand unless they're walked a mile in our moccasins and been personally, repeatedly treated like pieces of meat. End of fucking story.


For everyone, just a thought...

Ya know, men or whoever will criticize us for making such a "big deal" out of a comparitively small (no pun intended) area of our body, YET....aren't men famous for making a huge fucking deal (again, no pun intended) about their dick size???!! I mean, really, it's a major part of what they think/talk/obsess about: "Does she think it's too small?" "Is it too small?" "Is his bigger?" "Will a man with a bigger cock steal her away?" "Can I last long enough?" "Will I be able to get it up?" etc. etc. ad nauseum..... So any man has no right whatsoever to criticize our preoccupation with breast size. Really, think about it.

[treehugger]

Y'know,

I think I've come to terms with my boobs, for the most part. The only time I really get infuriated is when I try to go bra shopping.

Just in case some of you don't know what I do for a living, I work in a male-dominated, physical trade. I repair refrigeration systems, of all kinds. Yesterday I was working with a guy on a really large centrifugal chiller and we had to change some belts on the motor. I was bent in a really awkward angle trying to reach into this cavity and stretch the belts over the pulley, and...

my. boobs. got. in. the way.

I never, ever in my life thought I'd have that problem. Heh. Good thing they AREN'T "average" sized...I'd never be able to do my job!

[mynameislala]

Oh God... so much to talk about!

I hope PLR doesn't come back. I also thought he was "apologizing" like:
"Yeah, yeah you girls, you will NEVER understand because I'm a man, oh, girls, can't you read?".

Well, can't YOU read! Sure there are posts about men, yes, mostly about men putting down small breasts, but it's NOT ABOUT MEN. What is so hard to understand that breasts aren't really sexual, and that they are part of women's anatomy. I think he should read a post that lightchested left about how shw struggles with her small breasts daily. It's not funny. There are cancer worries, bra worries... not just "oh-wonder-if-he'll-ignore-my-small-breasts-if-i-have-a-tight-vagina" worries! Breasts are so complicated and need such care, and are so tied to women's view of themselves, to their emotional health. why do you think women who've had mastectomies suffer so much? Because it's a part of their femininity that's GONE... Christ...

Anyway, moving on...

Starship - that's great! It must've felt great to hear that.

Vendetta, Nelly (all of us really) - I have also suffered breast related irrationality. In my mind they are breasts, parts of my anatomy and femininity, but I've had crazy thoughts about them. For example today, i was watching TV with my boyfriend. This comedy show. It started as a very, very funny stand up show. Then they moved on to stand up and sketches. Now it's the same, but as we're in summer right now, the hired a woman, ONLY to be shown as eye candy. She never has lines, and she's just there wearing almost non existant clothes, with huge fake implants. I got so pissed off. Of course there were breasts close ups. And he sensed this. At first he was supportive and told me "Oh, but I love you, you're so gorgeous, why do you get upset? It's meaningless". But to me that felt like lies. So I told him "Oh, but you don't get it do you? You're a man, of course it doesn't bother you like me, because you enjoy it and also because men are never shown like pieces of meat!". He got upset and...

1) Accused me of being vain, insecure and shallow. He said that I'm a fool for spending so much energy worrying about other girls who're paid to look like that. That I'm foolish and childish for thinking that my physique is so important.

2) Judged me on my past. In the past (before I met him) I was, um, promiscuous? He seems to think so, but I don't. I did make out with strangers and had a friend with benefits (no sex, though, I was young). But who doesn't? Well he hasn't. So he thinks I have double standars because in the past I made out, no strings attached, with older guys I had just met, yet I complain that women are shown like pieces of mean in the media. Well, i'm sorry but it's not the same, and I don't think I have double standars. For one, those guys chased me, asked me for my number and I refused/gave them fake numbers. If anything, I used them, and no, I'm not proud, but it's done already. But on TV, women are shown like lifeless T n' A dolls, only for male pleasure, and guys are ugly, but they are the "cool ones".

So yeah... I still feel awful sometimes watching TV even though I know I shouldn't because it's meaningless and I can't do anything other than complain about it, and that won't change anything.

Mindy - I can understand why you feel like that. But please, try not to. If this relationship isn't making you happy, then it should end. Is it ending because of your breasts? If it is, then maybe he's not worth it. If it isn't, and there are deeper issues, then do what's best for you. But let me tell you something, while it's going to be hard to be on your own, you will have a chance to get to know yourself better. Plus, I'm sure there will be a guy who will totally be into you, because he'll think you're hot, he'll think your boobs are hot. There are such guys, hard to find, but great guys are hard to find. Have fun, spend quality time with your girl friends. Being single can be a lot of fun. It's cliché, but when you least expect it, he'll come. I've met a lot of small breasted girls with lots of guys chasing after them, and some bigger girls with very tough luck in love.

Anyway, chin up! We're all beautiful.

[Vendetta]

Sure, and that's the reason I came here in the first place. Because before someone mentioned that breasts were that important, I simply had never bothered about that. But two years after that, shit, I still have my insecurities but I'm a rational person and I know how to separate insecurities from reality. I wore myself in such a positive way that no man (before "him") has ever said anything about it and I believe my lack of boobs was never a problem to any of them. And when I suffered from the guy loving big boobs I avoided thinking every man feels the same. I just tell myself "let's be rational". Men are pigs but not THAT much. I don't know, maybe I'm just thinking this way to feel better about myself?

I'm saying this and I still want to have boobs. I simply believe me wanting to have boobs has nothing to do with men, those basic creatures.

[neurotic.nelly]

yeah, it's wrong vendetta but if you look back most of us here have been guilty of breast-related irrationality at some point. yourself included?

I know, it's like the pot calling the kettle black.

[starship]

I'm sure he'll pop up again in a few days to tell us how wrong we all are. le sigh

i was kind of erm testing the waters with this guy today by mentioning how I'd thought about getting a boob job in the past- "why? small ones are the hottest" eee. chichis a-go-go.
i find it kind of sad that i still feel the need to ease my boobs in to a sexual scenario rather than just chucking them right in there

many things cross my mind when deciding to end a relationship, but my boobs arent one of them mindy. i like having at least a few months break between bfs anyway. especially if it's been a long/difficult relationship. gives me time to find myself again and enjoy all the perks of being single. but if you do want a new man then dont let small breasts hold you back. any difficulties are more likely to be because of your attitude towards them and lack of confidence rather than the boobs themselves. and like the other ladies have said- a decent guy who isn't hung up on cup-size if worth waiting for if you ask me;)

yeah, it's wrong vendetta but if you look back most of us here have been guilty of breast-related irrationality at some point. yourself included?