[KeraBear]

Secretsights88 - So much good advice on here that I don't feel like i have anything add. Except I concur! ha ha I can offer empathy though since my little sister has is two cup sizes bigger than i am (it's no secret though because i am always bitching about it on here. LOL!!!). I think a lot of it depends on your sister's maturity level. I agree with karategrrl that you should tell her everything that you have written here. If you don't feel like you can talk to her, maybe write her a letter? I've tried talking to my sis about my issues with her teasing me many times, and for a while it gets better but she inevitably goes back to her old ways. But lately as she has gotten older, it has gotten better. I believe her maturity is finally catching up to her cup size.

DeeRayy - Yeah, karategrrl is right. Regardless of whether you decide to accept the booty-call or not, you should feel good that this guy totally wants you - booblets and all! It is, after all, Hispanic Heritage Month. He is just showing his appreciation of sexy Hispanics.

The world needs a small boobie appreciation month. Am I right?!?

[karategrrl]

my bigger breasted friends comment on how they are jealous that I can wear low cut shirts and make it look classy because if they wear anything like that they just look like a whore. Small breasts definitely are sexy in their own right (especially if you own them and love them) and have serious advantages!

Thank you for this reminder. People have told me this too. I can actually get away with wearing v-necks almost down to my bra (where the cups connect in the middle) at work! Hey, I will take any and every bit of encouragement I can!

[waterstreet]

No one was making comments about my breasts, but I wear the T-shirt bras that have a little shaping (light padding, I guess, though not a push up or the add-a-cup type) and as I was driving or sitting and eating or whatever, I was just really aware of the fact that when I get into certain positions, I can feel how I'm just not filling up the cup--I can press on it and it goes in, empty. No social pressure, just an self-induced annoyance.

I hear you on this one karategrrl. I coach swimming and some of the girls on my team are "growing up" and now there are a few 12 year olds who have bigger breasts than their coach : ( sigh. Just like you said, no one making comments, no social pressure, just me being annoyed by it.

And secretsights88- that is no fun having your gay friend make jokes about your body. Things said in jest can be shaken off but it still might get to you after awhile. I bet he would understand if you explained to him that these things were legitimately hurtful (gay men go through a lot as well, hopefully he can see that these types of jokes are not welcome).

Other than my annoyance that the 12 year old girls on my team have bigger breasts than me, personally I have been doing really well with accepting my body and loving my boobs lately. I think it has something to do with my overall self esteem. It's not a matter of big vs small breasts, but a matter of loving myself as a whole person and loving the small breasts BECAUSE they are connected to that person. It makes me me, it makes me unique and special. Also, when I wear the crazy padded victoria secret bras I DONT liike the way it looks on me, I am just not comfortable with big boobs- I quite enjoy having men look me in the face instead of making me feel objectified by staring at my breasts. So secretsights88, YOU actually have an advantage over your sister and her friend in that it is probably easier for you to get taken seriously and you can wear certain clothing without looking slutty. Some of my bigger breasted friends comment on how they are jealous that I can wear low cut shirts and make it look classy because if they wear anything like that they just look like a whore. Small breasts definitely are sexy in their own right (especially if you own them and love them) and have serious advantages!

Yay for loving little boobies. And again, I think it all starts with security about who we are and then security about what we happen to look like will follow.

[karategrrl]

God, I fucking LOVE this place. Thank you, thank you, all of you, for helping to keep me sane. Seriously. That said...

"At least you can dump stupid boyfriends, but you can't dump family or friends, especially the ones you love so much (because despite making my friends/sister sound like tit obsessed morons here, they're great with me in other areas)."
Secretsight88, we must be synching up (are you having premenstrual cramps too?) b/c it was kind of a tough weekend for me too. No one was making comments about my breasts, but I wear the T-shirt bras that have a little shaping (light padding, I guess, though not a push up or the add-a-cup type) and as I was driving or sitting and eating or whatever, I was just really aware of the fact that when I get into certain positions, I can feel how I'm just not filling up the cup--I can press on it and it goes in, empty. No social pressure, just an self-induced annoyance. And I'm all muscular and ripped and shit (my upper body, anyway), but I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror Sat night with this little nighttime top on that I thought might look all sexy and all I could see was muscles in my chest and where my chest and shoulder muscles meet. Mind you, that is cool but it would be nice to have that AND some more breast tissue. On most days I strongly feel that I could never do implants b/c I would like REAL breast tissue; yesterday I actually thought for half a second that I'd even settle for silicone gel just to experience the feeling of having SOMETHING to put in a bra. But even as I type this, I'm thinking of all the people in the world without arms or legs who'd give anything to experience the sensation of a limb, or women who identify as men who'd give anything to experience the feeling of having a penis. I don't have anything intelligent to add. Just random thoughts I'm sharing!

Secretsight, can you show your sis your post or email it to her? I mean, you really did spell out your feelings very well. Have you considered not going out with this particular group to clubs, where there's a more-likely-than-usual change they'll be doing/saying all the things that are upsetting? Or invite another non-busty friend along who understands? Also, I have to say that what you speak of disgusts me a little. I feel that it's good for everyone to feel confident about whatever it is about themselves that they like, but the idea of using it to consciously manipulate another just sounds like a selfish, immature power trip to me, and the men who respond to it sound like morons. As a woman, the only counterpart to the "busty women flaunting it" bit is when men are muscular and built nicely and they wear tank tops or skintight muscle shirts when it's freezing out. Puh-leese. You can still tell when someone's built nicely when they're wearing more appropriate clothing. To me, it's more attractive when there's still a sense of a little mystery and modesty. But that's just me!

"the thought of sex is very tempting because it would be nice to feel wanted by a guy again. i know i'm very young and probably not ready for casual sex but it is still tempting nonetheless. i'm just curious about your thoughts on this matter."
OMG I can so relate. Well, I'm not a casual sex girl either but I once slept with a friend whom I trusted for the exact same reason--just to feel desired; I hadn't had intercourse in 5 years (!). The sex was OK but the aftermath was a distaster b/c he ended up telling someone whom I did not want to know. It was even worse b/c I also worked with the guy and the one he told. (Mind you, this was someone I TRUSTED totally and really had thought this through carefully and still thought it was safe to go ahead.) Only you can judge this situation, but I'd say tread carefully if you think he might be one to blab about you being "easy" or about how you were in bed, etc. Men do that shit. And consider this: you obviously already ARE wanted by a guy; feel good about that fact and sleep with him--or not (and practice safe sex if you do)! <hug>

[DeeRayy]

They don't know I feel like this, and I can't imagine telling them. When I've said stuff like "oh come on girls, stop boasting, some of us don't have that much" they just make the typical "feel good" comments like "but your face is very pretty" or "you could wear a push up" or "yours aren't that small" (which is a lie). I know this is my insecurity and that I shouldn't let this get to me, but it's so hard.

secretsights, have you tried talking to your sister in private about this? you say that they don't know how insecure you are about your breasts, so maybe if your sister knows then she can help out and steer the conversation away from breasts when the others start talking about it. i'm dealing with similar feelings right now. my roommate has lovely breasts that, while not extremely large, do make me feel bad about myself. however, she's catholic and very conservative so i do not have to deal with the conversations that you have to deal with.



i also have a question for the group. have any of you ever used sex as a way of feeling better about your booblets? i know this might sound really bad, but lately i've been having bad boobie days because of my roommate situation. and just recently one of my male friends in my housing facility has been, ahem, inviting me over late at night when all his roomates are gone (booty call). now, i don't see myself dating this guy but i do find him attractive. i haven't took him up on any of his offers, but on my days when i feel especially bad about my boobies the thought of sex is very tempting because it would be nice to feel wanted by a guy again. i know i'm very young and probably not ready for casual sex but it is still tempting nonetheless. i'm just curious about your thoughts on this matter.

[secretsights88]

I'm having a bit of a problem accepting my breast size lately. I think we've all dealt with morons when it comes to this, be them other women or men. But what's really sad is when you have to deal with yourself, because it's your friends and family who're (unknowingly) making you feel bad, and you have to find a way on your own to make the hurt go away.

My sister and I have always been very close. When I broke up with my ex, she was there to help me pick myself up, dust off, and move on. She introduced me to many great girls, who're now my friends and who were also very supportive, in a time in which after a long, tough relationship. I'd isolated myself from other people. I love my sister, and my friends.

But the "problem" is that my sister is quite busty. A new girl who's been hanging out with us, is also very busty. They like going to clubs and stuff, and they make a point of always wearing low cut tops. ALWAYS. They make jokes about it. They comment how men react to that, and well, they like it, they like having that "power" over men and stuff. We have a gay male friend. He's as gay as gay can be. But he's also obsessed with breasts, and he likes to joke around breasts/cleavage when we're all together. It's like he boosts this whole "having cleavage is so COOL" thing. I feel uncomfortable and bad, because they talk about this crap so much!

I mean yesterday we were hanging out, and my sister and our friend were talking about how funny it is when men talk to their cleavage instead of their eyes, because it makes them look so dumb and stupid or something like that, and that they can get away with things with certain men in such situations. I just rolled my eyes or something, and our gay pal said something like "Yeah, if I were in the need I could use you two to get my way with some men". Then he said something about me having the smallest breasts of the bunch, to which I replied with "Oh come on, cleavage is so overrated, it's not that great", to which my sister and friend kinda disagreed, and our gay friend said "Well, you look like you're ten, what did you expect?". He likes to joke around with me like that, 'cause he knows I have little tolerance for juvenile jokes, but he doesn't do it with the intention of making me feel bad. I don't think anyone (save my ex) knows just how insecure I feel about my breasts.

I don't know why this gets to me so much. I mean, of course it annoys me that my sister and friend make such stupid comments and assumptions that big breasts/cleavage is what men prefer. It's also that they share this "bond" over having big breasts that I just can't share, and it makes me feel excluded and unfeminine. And when we go to clubs, they always show off their cleavage and get more attention and that gets to me too, because not only do I have to make a huge effort to try to ignore the media as bullshit, seeing it in real life just makes it harder to ignore, especially coming from people who I love so much and who are so close to me.

They don't know I feel like this, and I can't imagine telling them. When I've said stuff like "oh come on girls, stop boasting, some of us don't have that much" they just make the typical "feel good" comments like "but your face is very pretty" or "you could wear a push up" or "yours aren't that small" (which is a lie). I know this is my insecurity and that I shouldn't let this get to me, but it's so hard.

At least you can dump stupid boyfriends, but you can't dump family or friends, especially the ones you love so much (because despite making my friends/sister sound like tit obsessed morons here, they're great with me in other areas).

[ptolemyZ]

Any preferences I have probably control the order I notice people in a new environment. I'm likely to notice those who match some of my preferences first. In practice I'll check out everyone else too.

My opinion ends up being academic; I very quickly start guessing whether anyone would be at all interested in talking to me!

[KeraBear]

lol, well none of them exactly have "big" boobies. they're all around a b cup or small c cup, which is bigger than me but not particularly busty-thank goodness! i only noticed because i seem to be the most petite one there, so i look the youngest out of all of us. sigh, it's pretty tough being petite sometimes! you feel (physically) so small and childish compared to other girls.

ahhh, okay. That's manageable.

And, I so know what you mean. For the longest time, I was absolutely convinced that I was single because no guy wanted to date a girl who looked like his little sister.

Have you thought that maybe your roommates might actually envy you because you are the most petite one there? The grass is always greener...

[DeeRayy]

Good luck!! Hopefully they are not the type that flaunts their big boobies around the house...

lol, well none of them exactly have "big" boobies. they're all around a b cup or small c cup, which is bigger than me but not particularly busty-thank goodness! i only noticed because i seem to be the most petite one there, so i look the youngest out of all of us. sigh, it's pretty tough being petite sometimes! you feel (physically) so small and childish compared to other girls.

[karategrrl]

Strongirl, I also loved that story about your dad. So cute.

I just googled Holly Madison and I'm SO not impressed. <yawn.>

[KeraBear]

Of course we all want to be valued for who we are within and that is what ultimately matters the most in a relationship. And truly, based on my life experience, physical preferences are malleable and can change with time or recede in importance. But that doesn't mean they don't exist or matter at all...and I don't think having them or basing dating decisions on them means a person is bad or wrong. They can be part of the magical mix that is romantic attraction...like my dad's "thing" for redheads resulting in a happy 50 year long marriage with my mom. Even though her hair is silver now, he still sings this old song to her about wanting a redhaired woman, and she still giggles and blushes and loves every minute of it. Nothing against blondes or brunettes...he just loves red hair, and she loves that he loves it. Just like she loves dark-haired, exotic men, and he is that for her.

That was beautiful, Strongirl. Thank you for sharing that story.

I'm probably gonna be posting on here a little more often than before, i just moved out for the school year and out of all of my roomates, i'm sporting the smallest boobies so that'll probably get to me from time to time. wish me luck you guys!

Good luck!! Hopefully they are not the type that flaunts their big boobies around the house...

[DeeRayy]

Rather than ignore or feel bad about our specific preferences, I think we should be encouraged to embrace and honor them. The thing that scares me is the opposite - when media or social pressure forces people to lose sight of their own personal preferences and go with the herd in liking what everyone else likes or what they think they're supposed to like. That's part of how I think we got into this whole big-breast obsession and implant craze to begin with - thanks a heap, Hugh Hefner. Not all guys actually prefer busty blondes like Hugh does...but after a few decades of Playboy and porn, it's difficult for guys to admit it if they're not attracted to Pamela Anderson or Holly Madison. That's what I meant when I decried the "societal pressure" to get implants as opposed to an individual decision. And I'll stand firm on saying that I really think that's unhealthy, for all of us.

Strongirl, you make a very good point. I don't think it's wrong to have preferences or specific things that you find attractive in the opposite sex. I also don't think that there's anything wrong with dating anyone who doesn't fit those preferences. I, for example, love curly hair yet my first boyfriend had stick-straight hair. I also love colored eyes yet he was brown all over, just like me. I feel that if you are attracted to the person as a whole then the other parts of them that you weren't so crazy about before should become more attractive to you. and if you really can't find someone attractive because of one body part that doesn't fit your preferences then you probably didn't really like that person as much as you thought you did.

I admit i'm very sensitive to the issue of "preferences" given my experiences. Due to the circumstances you've just listed, it's very hard to imagine that a man could actually have a preference for small breasts. so i really do appreciate any story of such guys and would love the girls on here to keep posting such encouraging stories- because i really don't think i could ever date another "boob guy" again.

I'm probably gonna be posting on here a little more often than before, i just moved out for the school year and out of all of my roomates, i'm sporting the smallest boobies so that'll probably get to me from time to time. wish me luck you guys!

[85testing58]

Hey Guys,

Pretty small breast girl pics :

http://www.lustgirlnextdoor.com

[strongirl]

Wow, what a great forum to challenge ourselves and each other to be kind, compassionate, and clear-headed about tough, tricky issues. I wish all of y'all would run for public office (I can't - too many photos out there of me naked, LOL).

I agree, Karategrrl and Kera, we really do well. I am grateful to have a place where I know I will be supported when I feel hurt and called out when I say things that might be hurtful to others. It's like family, only way less dysfunctional.

Coffeebean, you really nailed it with your comment about trying to find that balance and support each other without making anyone else the "other". It makes total sense. And while you and Deeray said that I don't owe anyone an apology, let me at least thank you all for holding me and each other to such a pure, high standard. I WANT to be called on it when I say something that might be destructive rather than constructive. Even if I just didn't word things well, I want to know the impact I'm having and be encouraged to make sure it's positive. Thanks and keep it up!

One thing that didn't get really addressed in all this (though we have addressed it in the past) is that there is a legitimate issue of "preference" that can be difficult and even painful but shouldn't be ignored. My friend who didn't want to date the woman with implants really is a good person - he simply has a strong sexual preference for small, natural breasts. The woman he ended up marrying is gorgeous in my opinion but wouldn't be picked by Playboy - she is quite small-breasted and at the same time cutely chubby and full through the hips and thighs. They're totally happy together. He never said anything bad about the friend with the implants, he genuinely liked and respected her, but in a move that I think was wise given his preferences, he opted not to date her. Like those of you who have wished guys who prefer big breasts wouldn't date you in the first place, he made a similar choice not to get in deeper.

Of course we all want to be valued for who we are within and that is what ultimately matters the most in a relationship. And truly, based on my life experience, physical preferences are malleable and can change with time or recede in importance. But that doesn't mean they don't exist or matter at all...and I don't think having them or basing dating decisions on them means a person is bad or wrong. They can be part of the magical mix that is romantic attraction...like my dad's "thing" for redheads resulting in a happy 50 year long marriage with my mom. Even though her hair is silver now, he still sings this old song to her about wanting a redhaired woman, and she still giggles and blushes and loves every minute of it. Nothing against blondes or brunettes...he just loves red hair, and she loves that he loves it. Just like she loves dark-haired, exotic men, and he is that for her.

Rather than ignore or feel bad about our specific preferences, I think we should be encouraged to embrace and honor them. The thing that scares me is the opposite - when media or social pressure forces people to lose sight of their own personal preferences and go with the herd in liking what everyone else likes or what they think they're supposed to like. That's part of how I think we got into this whole big-breast obsession and implant craze to begin with - thanks a heap, Hugh Hefner. Not all guys actually prefer busty blondes like Hugh does...but after a few decades of Playboy and porn, it's difficult for guys to admit it if they're not attracted to Pamela Anderson or Holly Madison. That's what I meant when I decried the "societal pressure" to get implants as opposed to an individual decision. And I'll stand firm on saying that I really think that's unhealthy, for all of us.

[karategrrl]

I know that I am constantly struggling to find a balance between supporting each other without making anyone else the 'other' if that makes sense.

I totally feel this way too. It seriously is a fine line, and I have to say that with all the fricking issues that breasts really do touch on, directly, and indirectly, I admire all of you ladies so much for treading these delicate waters so tactfully. We really do well.

And yes, we should all feel grateful. So easy to forget that!

[skindeep1991]

SO well put DeeRayy. when my friend said that about the girl with implants I did take it as good encouragment not to get them because mine were to small but I did also feel a pang of ..."oh man, how would she feel if she knew he was saying this right now?" no matter what the reason, it just sucks to put down a part of a womans body.

I can honestly tell you I have never in my life met an 'Ugly' person, everything is a matter of opinion like waterstreet stated with the implants. But honestly everyone I look at has a beautiful quality about them, because everyone is beautiful... They may have things about there appearance that you might not necessarily like but there will definitely be people in the world that will like it. Like our little breasticles, there will always be someone that doesn't like them, but then there will always be people that love them... I don't think people should get disheartened about things like this...it's just like some women prefer men with beards and hairy chests and others hate chest hair, I know the way my boyfriend feels about being topless because he thinks his hairy chest is disgusting and people will say horrible things to him is silly, but everyone has insecurities...even the people that put us down.

As for small breasts, the original comment you posted waterstreet would indicate to me that you want to learn to accept your body the way it is and not have to change it.
Before I got on here I was playing with the idea of getting implants but I thought to myself that I really am not one of the worst out there for self confidence and although I have bad days I also have a lot of good days... which is why I came here.
But maybe it was different for these girls maybe everyday was a bad day and they were seriously depressed about it, It does really affect some women especially if people comment about it a lot and if they're constantly thinking about it. If they felt like they needed implants to be happy then that's all that really matters...

Personally if I'd gotten implants, I wouldn't have come back here either... Not because you'd all post horrible comments and what not but because I'd see this as somewhere women go to make themselves feel better about what 'god gave them' and I wouldn't feel like I'd fit in that category tbh, Also I'd have found it hard to give advice to women on how to feel better about themselves naturally when I'd have implants. I'm not saying that implants are wrong and I think it would be good to see the other side of the small boobie outlook on here and I think it would be nice to hear how these women actually feel since and what not, but I know I wouldn't have wanted to stay...not because of any of you or the comments, just cause I wouldn't feel right telling women to love themselves how they are.

I realize I am not really 'how god made me' with piercings and what not and I understand that piercings and tattoos are also a form of altering your body to make yourself feel better about your appearance, so please don't shout at me for being a hypocrite. I was just saying how I would feel if that was me and maybe trying to shed some light on why these people did leave and why they did get implants?...

xXx

[waterstreet]

i might be sounding a little defensive here but i feel that if we try not to put down large breasted women in here we should also try to be a little more sensitive to the issue of implants, because not every woman gets them for attention or for pure vanity(.....)i would never call my breasts "better" than anyone else's, and that includes ladies with implants.

....isn't a recurring theme on here that a man should be more interested in you as a person than what's underneath your bra anyway?

SO well put DeeRayy. when my friend said that about the girl with implants I did take it as good encouragment not to get them because mine were to small but I did also feel a pang of ..."oh man, how would she feel if she knew he was saying this right now?" no matter what the reason, it just sucks to put down a part of a womans body.

[KeraBear]

Yay! It seems that we have reached an understanding! Good discussion.

I know that I am constantly struggling to find a balance between supporting each other without making anyone else the 'other' if that makes sense.

Oh totally. When it comes to body image, I don't think there is really any such thing as an "other", because as Skindeep helpfully pointed out, most women likely have issues with their breasts in one way or another and that alone should bind us together. But since this group is so specific, I can see how it can easily spin into an "us and them" mentality.

Feel free to disagree with me, but I feel like we handled Spot-on's decision to get implants fairly well, all things considered. I can totally understand why she ultimately didn't feel comfortable here anymore though.

SD - It's good to have a "be grateful day." That should be every day, shouldn't it? And yes, i was disturbed by that link. Deeply.

[skindeep1991]

i hope my opinion didn't offend anyone in here. i do agree that any story that showcases how not all men exclusively like large breasts or implants is beneficial here. i just don't like putting down other women in order to do that. while i don't agree that women should get implants simply to be bigger, i totally support their right to do whatever they please with their bodies.

I don't think you offended anyone really, I think we're all guilty of putting down other women to feel better even if it's not intentional or directed at anyone...It just happens when a group of people with similar opinions on things or thoughts get together.

Personally I think there are worse things in the world than breast size, there are women out there that would kill to have our sized breasts because there breasts are too large and cause pain, Then there are women like some of us that don't feel 'womanly' or 'normal' because we don't have larger breasts... and then there are the women who have 'average' sized breasts that want them to be larger because they believe it will enhance their appearances, not to forget all the others in between...basically everyone has issues with breasts *shrugs* too big, too small, too pointy, too flat, too round, too long, two different sizes... end of the day, we are all very very lucky... we all have loved ones who love us and support us, even if they are on here =D we are able to lead normal day to day lives, we're all beautiful and successful and breast size isn't a handicap or a deformity, it's just a little number... and if you aren't happy then do what makes you happy even if it means implants, piercings, tattoos...whatever.

I think sometimes we've got to stop and think about how lucky we actually are for even the little things...
http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_wSGz6WKOUfo/SGA4...cEvoy-thumb.jpg

Sorry if that has upset anyone but i'm having one of those 'be greatful' days

[DeeRayy]

That being said, I personally find the SOCIETAL pressure to have large implanted breasts to be almost overwhelming at times. Women with implants do not need to come to this feminist small breast support group forum to find validation for their choice...all they have to do is look at the magazines at the grocery store checkout, or turn on the TV, or go to the gym, or surf internet porn. So if we can't voice resistance to that pressure in here, where can we voice it?

Strongirl, i apologize if you felt i was targeting you in my comment. i only quoted your particular anecdote about implants because it was the most recent one. i do agree that we're bombarded with images of large breasts, but then again we're also bombarded with photoshopped images that make actresses appear thinner than they already are, which i can bet frustrates women who naturally are a little softer and fleshier and will never (healthily) be that thin. i totally agree with you that the pressure that is put on women by society is unfair and that we shouldn't have to defend ourselves for not getting implants. i just didn't like that lately there were posts about how bad it is to sleep with a woman with implants. it seemed very similar to the way the plus size population states that "real women have curves". that was simply my personal opinion.

I support a woman who has augmentation to REPLACE what existed pre-mastectomy, or if she has breasts very different in size and just wants to be able to buy bras with two same-size cups fer god's sake, or a woman who has reduction b/c the weight of her breasts is giving her health issues, for example. But I think most of us fall within a "normal" (wide!) range, whether we're "large" or "small," and women who get either surgery to feel "normal" b/c they feel like they're not when they already ARE makes me sad.

this is my view as well, and this is what i meant when i said that some women get them just to feel normal. i wasn't stating that implants were normal, i just meant that a lot of women actually do have these problems. and that's why i didn't like the comments that had been recently made because when we put down implants, we are also putting down these women.

i hope my opinion didn't offend anyone in here. i do agree that any story that showcases how not all men exclusively like large breasts or implants is beneficial here. i just don't like putting down other women in order to do that. while i don't agree that women should get implants simply to be bigger, i totally support their right to do whatever they please with their bodies.