[karategrrl]

Hey, does anyone know if Paris Hilton really got a boob job or not? I saw it in a celebrity rag last night. Now, I'm not a big fan of Paris or celebrities in general, but I always loved how she flaunted her small boobies, even when she could definetely afford implants. She always made small boobs look HOT. Someone puh-lease tell me it's a lie--that she didn't get them!!

[karategrrl]

Some responses to others' posts:

Anna K: Wow, "exaggerated femininity." I never thought of it that way. Yes, I could see how that would be tough to deal with--how people make assumptions about you because of a large chest. I think that would drive me crazy, too. I appreciate your input and will try and remember that next time I get down on myself.

DJ Biz, you are so right on--the grass is always greener & attractiveness above all comes from inner confidence! Definetely something to meditate on. And yes, there are ass men, breast men, and evrything else--if you love yourself, the ones that will love you as you are will come along.

A Cup Lover, your comments (and your screen name) made my day! No, not that I need a man's--or anyone's--approval, but sometimes it's just really nice to get a compliment!

Lux, I luuuve the list you came up with for your friend. I think some people just don't realize what they are saying. You probably helped her out by pointing that out to her. Sounds like she has some personal things to deal with

[lux]

anna k - maybe came on a bit hars, sorry about that. i just feel like anytime there's any talk about breast, i always get to hear my bustier friends complaining. this just seems to be one of the few places where it's possible to communicate with others that maybe have similar issues with their breasts that i do. sometimes you just need a place for saying that, you'd like to go to any store and just pick up bra and they'd have it in your size. sometimes i just need to say that i'm not all that happy about the size of my breasts, without having to feel ever so grateful for not getting back pains.
or maybe i should just start sending mails to the locall stores and tell them that there actually are people that would like to buy bras in AA sizes:)

the truth is that usually i'm pretty happy with my body, and i try to focus on that when i'm not. sometimes it just a bit hard, because boobs seem to be everywhere. i meen there's so much talk about them, and they are a cultural symbol for femininity. it's kind of hard never to think about them.

dj-biz - i've tried telling that to her, but i don't think she really gets it. she has a tendency to make harsh comments about the way other people look, and then she's wondering why i'm so self-conscious. after the one time i commented her weight, and she got really upset, she dared to say that she never says anything like that about me. so i made her a list of all the things she's said to me. and that's everything from top to toes, all from hair colour to short legs and big hands. haven't heard that many comments after that:) she just doesn't understand how her comments affect me.

ok, now i'm getting into too many not breast related issues.

[knorl05]

dj-biz: thanks for your feedback, i always enjoy reading what you write.

i've got to go into work soon but i just wanted to post real quick about what a big dork i am. so i went to a new gyno today and we were talking about breast exams and i just nervously laughed and said "i dont have to worry about that because my boobs are so small". she had enough sense and maturity to ignore my comment. it's weird tho, i sometimes, not always, but sometimes i feel i need to explain or make excuses for my breast size. it's my damn self-consciousness leaking through when i'm in uncomfortable situations.

[anna k]

I post in here sometimes to cheer you guys on, and to tell that anyone who is wanting bigger breasts the disadvantages of them. I've been busty since I was 13, so I was jealous of smaller breasts and didn't want this exaggerated feminity on me, Jessica Rabbit style.

[dj-bizmonkey]

knorl- i still can't figure out how to get the quote option to work on these threads (i am technologically challenged), but i couldn't agree with you more on every point you made. however, although i agree that breasts are a symbol of feminity, i think their oversexualization and the obession with size is a western phenomena (though the standards of western beauty are spreading, especially in places like China) and not some biologically based drive. since the dawn of human beings existence, men have desired attractive women, but what designated 'attractive,' has always and will always be subject to change. like you said, do you really want to invest any extra time and energy into worrying about what some one (who is so shallow as to only value one part of your body) else thinks of you? you are dead on knorl, there are just so many more important and valuable aspects of being alive.

anna k, as far as i'm concerned, you can post in here all you like. i enjoy hearing what it's like from the other side and it helps to put things in perspective. i have really tried in my posts not to demonize or criticize women who are bustier than me. that's just the way you were made, and just like i don't enjoy being pitied or put down by my more voluptious counterparts, i wouldn't want to do the same thing back to them. some of us may be longing for bigger breasts, but we don't really see what some of the hardships of that might be, such as back-pain, constantly having to wear a bra and never having anyone look you in the eye, or getting called out as a whore just because you decide to show your cleavage. you have every right to wear what makes you feel comfortable or beautiful. i personally have no cleavage and no option to create any, even with the help of a wonder bra. the skin on my chest will fold in two before my breasts will touch! i have two girlfriends with huge breasts, one of whom had a reduction two years ago from a DD to a C. she is so happy now and she has really helped me to appreciate my body more. the irony is, both of my friends always talk about how they wish they had breasts like mine. i've said it before, but the grass is always greener.

i know most of my statements are about heterosexual attractiveness, but that's just my experiental base.

lux-it really sucks that your girlfriend is so negative about they way you look. can you tell her how hurtful it is to hear that and that even if she feels she must make statements to that effect she should at least temper it with something positive about your body?

[lux]

well anna k, since you have the option of showing your cleavage if you so wish, i think your post belongs somewhere else.
i really wouldn't mind having a cleavage, specially since my dear girlfriend keeps telling me that i'd be sexually more attractive if i had bigger breasts. se yeah, gay women are not all fun and games when it comes to breasts. if someone was still wondering about that.

[anna k]

I always felt like big breasts were overrated, and I have D's. I never liked showing them off or trying to use them to be sexy. I often wear tanks underneath shirts that would show them off because I don't like a lot of cleavage, I prefer to keep them for myself rather than stick them out like insane appendages.

[knorl05]

dj-biz: i've found the same thing from a lot of guys and the whole big boob thing.. (not to knock ladies with big boobs) but guys i know have said that after a while big boobs become boring and get in the way. i've also heard guys say that anything bigger than what would fit into a martini glass is too much. and most supermodels have barely there breasts as well. it's weird, i think everyone has issues with their bodies.. some just have deeper issues than others. we can look around and see all these messages that say we're not good enough, or -like you said- we can focus on the positive instead. sure it sucks when we feel we dont measure up in some areas, but if we are strong in others, it really shouldnt matter. i think we also have to look to our own beliefs as a factor in what the comments/reactions say to us.. as though, if we were ok with ourselves, their approval or disapproval wouldnt affect us so deeply. it's just a part of who we are, not the whole.. imo if there are people out there who care that much about that one part, they are obviously not someone i want to interact with anyway so their opinion means shit to me.

i dunno... what is any of this really? the people who truly see me and care about me for who i am dont seem to worry about it, so why have i? it's just a stupid distraction anyway. big boobs, small boobs, whatever.. they're boobs. different strokes for different folks. there's so much other stuff that deserves my attention in life that i refuse to let some misconception society may or may not have about boobs stop me from living how i want to live. so i'm never gonna be a busty babe, who the fuck cares. i'm gonna be a small busted babe, and that determines nothing about my worth or potential or womanhood. period.

a cup: thanks for the feedback, that's very considerate of you.

(ps. i think i touched on my issue with it... i feel like women throughout history have had this very feminine aspect of whom they are bring them power and admiration. and i guess i've felt left out. boo hoo. maturity, sex appeal, confidence, power.. all come from within the individual. and i'd rather be happy with whom i am, than fit into some subjectively idealized picture of human perfection anyway. because like 'a cup lover' pointed out, we may already be perfect in some eyes. and we may be more scrutinized by others, but that's just how it seems to be for people who are strong enough to be their own person.)

[A Cup Lover]

I know that guys aren't really supposed to post here and I really don't mean to troll... but, I just wanted to let you all know that there are a lot of guys out there that find small breasts incredibly sexy. I'm a 25 year old guy and I would much rather be with a cute, intelligent, interesting woman with A cups or less than some gigantic utters. And, I know that there are a lot of guys out there like me. It amazes me that girls would spend so much money to buy special push up bras or get surgery when there are so many of us who love smaller breasts.

[dj-bizmonkey]

i have had similar experiences with karategrrl, though we've talked about it before in this thread and there was some one (who's name escapes me now, so very sorry) who had the most criticism come from women she had been with. i haven't been intimate with a woman, beyond fully clothed flirtation, but for the most part, they have described my breasts as 'exquisite, unique perfection,' among other things.

as for men, i have to say that if you've got small breasts, most likely you won't end up in a long term relationship with a breast-man, ya know? just as if you had an aversion to red-headed guys, you most likely (though there are exceptions to every rule) won't end up getting serious about one. sometimes, you just don't know when you start dating a guy. i dated this guy in college and we'd been together for about 3 months. i was prancing around in just my white cotton undies, examining my form when i said, 'you know, the guy that falls for me won't be a breast man, he'll be an ass man,' because that is a region where god(dess) has blessed me (thanks be to that higher power!). he just shrugged and said, 'i'm a breast man.' well FUCK?! why'd ya have to go and say that out loud. it was exceedingly rude and unnecessary. i wanted to cover up and go hide in the corner. i never shook that comment. needless to say, we broke up, but it had nothing to do with my breasts and everything to do with a litany of other psychological problems this guy had. but, come on?!! i've never thought a man i was dating was perfect, but i certainly wouldn't tell him, 'ya know, i like big dicks, and you just aren't up to snuff.' you gotta keep that stuff to yourself and focus on the POSITIVE.

on that note, the majority of men i've been with have given me nothing but compliments on my breasts. my last serious boyfriend (now ex, for unrelated factors) were having the 'ex' discussion and he was talking about his last girlfriend, who happened to be very very busty. he said out when they first started dating, he was excited, because he'd never been with a woman with that kind of body before. however after fooling around a few times with her, he realized he didn't really enjoy it all that much. he then turned to me and said, 'it was such a let down and now i'd much prefer something like...' and he started flipping through one of my magazines frantically, then looked up, pointed straight at my chest and said, 'that!' how sweet! in fact, i was in a similar situation last summer with my current, non-serious gentleman friend. same type of situation, we were sitting in my room and i was getting dressed, scrutinizing myself because i thought i'd gained some weight in the past month. i knew i was baiting him, just like i had with the boyfriend in college, but i made some comment in passing similar to my first one about breast men and ass men. he waved his hand and said, 'bah, big tits are overrated.'

even though i still remember every rude, unkind comment or criticism some one has made about my breasts, i always try to balance it in my mind with all the positive feedback i've gotten.

it just goes to show, there are different preferences out there, (and this is going to be a very heteronormative diatribe, but that's my main level of experience) breast men, ass men, men who love legs, hips, stomachs, ears, necks, long fingers, big feet, little feet, curly hair, blonde hair, no hair etc. you can't waste your time agonizing about how to please everyone. as lapis said, regardless of where the drive to fit into some modicum of beauty comes from, self acceptances is very empowering. and in the end, NOTHING is sexier than confidence.

oh, and i also found this thread through a google search, it's what got me into the whole bust lounge culture (now i'm addicted, thank you very much.) the worst part of the google search was the fact that i got a warning that i might be innudated with pornographic websites if i used those particular search terms. blegh. so glad i found you ladies, like i said before, it gives me strength to know that you are all out there in the world!

[karategrrl]

I'd be curious to know if anyone here has actually gotten ANY negative feedback from a boyfriend/girlfriend/fuckbuddy/etc. I bet it's really rare!

Actually, I've gotten the best feedback from gay & bi women. Straight men have, unfortunately, been the worst overall in being satisfied with my breasts. I'll NEVER forget two comments from 2 different women I was seeing (I'm bi): One said my breasts were "perfect" (and I couldn't keep her off them!!!) The other said, "Your body is a work of art." Ahh, YESSS! As for the guys, I never got comments like that. I've gotten the "What cute little handfuls" comments (Bleargh!) and my all-time fave, "Well, if you decided to get implants--for yourself, of course--I'd be okay with that." (Gee, thanks for telling me what I can do with my own body. Bleargh! again.)

DessieAnn, I'm SO glad things are looking up for you!!!! We're here for you! One thing I mentioned many, many posts back that bears repeating is, I made a collage for myself of all kinds of beautiful, sexy women--who just happen to be small-busted. It's a big confidence-booster for when I need it, and it might help you as well. Keep your eyes open for pics from catalogues, magazines, even do some internet searches and print stuff out. When I get depressed looking through the Victoria's Secret catalogue, I pull out my collage and feel instantly better!

BTW, I found this group through a Google search. I've found online support groups for many different things through the years. It's amazing what's/who's out there!

Love you guys,

Karategrrl

[lapis]

On to other points I wanted to make:

"But I know people with implants, nose jobs, ect. who are really secure and confident because that surgery was what they wanted to fulfill an image of themselves"

I understand this, but my beef is, WHERE does that image come from? Men who think small is not attractive? The implant manufacturers who just want to make money? There isn't a woman out there who just wakes up one day and says, "I hate my breasts because...because....well, because they are small!" It is this "ideal image" we are fed--in advertisements, movies, music videos, the media--that is feeding us a "bigger is better," "ideal" image to mold ourselves into. Why not change your outlook to embrace the image you were made in, rather than change your image to fit someone else's outlook?

Body images can come from a number of places--beyond or in addition to the media. For example, family trends in body types might inform peoples' sense of what they should have (my family is mostly pretty buxom, except for me), prevailing cultural stereotypes may present in everyday conversations (traveling can bring this out in serious ways when people from a different country notice or comment on your figure), and I truly believe that you can have a sense of who you should have been--perhaps in the same way that trans people might feel that they weren't born into the body they expected and rather choose another form more appropriate to how they see themselves. Really basic notions of sexual difference could make women want larger breasts on just a gut kind of level. It's doubtful that men want big dicks just because of porn or media--there's probably some kind of biological drive behind it. And perhaps media manipulates some of those drives--but people can define beauty and their bodies for themselves, whether satisfied or not.

I hesitate to blame the media for all body image ideals because images and ideals can come from other places, too. This conversation about the media can dovetail some stuff in the "pretty girl" thread because, in my opinion, people have agency to choose their personal aesthetics and aren't always victims of patriarchy or media. People have aspirations and concepts of beauty which transcend what they are exposed to--where did counterculture come from if not from peoples' imaginations? Anyway, I think media can play a role but I believe it gives the media too much power and people not enough to say that our ideal are entirely derivative from media. And disengaging from media, rendering it powerless, can be a step toward self definition and love. Before media existed there were body norms and people who embraced or eschewed them.

Anyway, self- acceptance is a wonderful, empowering thing, and sometimes choosing to modify your body in a way that makes you happy can be wonderful and empowering, too--wherever that "look" comes from. Inside each person exists a creative force powering self-definition, self-love, and even discontentment.

[LilMissStrange]

lilmiss and dessie... i'm jus curious how you came across these forums? i cant even remember how i found bust.

I read BUST magazine and I just happened to check the site out and found these forums!

[DessieAnn]

Thank you, all of you, for those who have responded to my cry for help. I read all your posts and all your thoughts. Thank you, thank you and thank you. You are all right and all brought up valid points. Yes, I have consulted a therapist, and she directed me to finding this thread, she could not remember the name, but told me to type in small breast support groups. I already feel better. You all brought me back up. Brought me to the place where I can finally see what is real, what is important, what I have to be thankful for, that I am ok just the way I am. I'm lucky to be alive for goodness sake, and I want to live long enough to see one of my kids give me a grandchild, even though I will probably be a "younger" grandma. This weekend, my hubby took me to shop for some blouses (that show I have a little cleavage) and pretty under things. He had me model them for him, and he bought the whole lot for me. Then he took me out on the town and said....see.....you are getting attention! It was then that I realized, I don't really need or want another man's attention but his! He thinks I'm beautiful, and I'm lucky. Then another though occured to me and hit me like a lightening bolt.....his opinion IS important to me, but my own is more important. I felt better. Just realizing this, a huge weight was lifted. Then I came in this morning and saw all of you have replied to me, gave me support, words of wisdom and empathy. Bless you all. It brought me to tears. I was really, truely and deeply touched. Thank you all of you. It really helped and I feel so much better. About everything. I am not alone, and their is nothing wrong with me the way I am! Larger breasted women are not superior to me, they are just different. It is the difference between us all that makes the world a richer place. And yes, there are some who use this particular part of their bodies to make themselves feel, look or act superior. And that is their issue. It doesn't have to be mine. So, today, I went and checked out each of my friends who had the implant surgery and congratulated them on achieving for themselves what they wanted. I don't want this for myself. It is not possible, and I no longer want it. I'm just little and small framed anyway - I'd look and FEEL ridiculous if I did it anyway. The world will always throw at us and image of perfection, that most of us will never be able to acheive. But inner peace and happiness and acceptance with ourselves (me, in particular here) - is what is most important to living life to it's fullest. I've been given a "miracle" second chance. Most women never survive Ovarian Cancer. I was lucky. And I am blessed and I'm just going to focus on that. You are all just terrific women, your openness and willingness to share and console me is a gift I am treasuring and cherishing. Thank you all. Big hug to all of you.

[DessieAnn]

I just wanna say I'm so glad I found this forum!

I am the only one whose noticed/experienced this? That all the 'haters' I've experienced through my life are straight women. I've gotten nothing but positive feedback from straight guys and lesbians...people who actually want to see my boobs! And honestly when it comes to sex I don't have problems with showing them, and the response has been 100% so far But put me in a change room with a buncha straight girls and I'm changing in the bathroom stall.
I was eating lunch with my friends in high school and two of them started arguing (one has A cups the other DD). The one friend with big breasts decides to end the argument by saying "Those with B cups or larger raise your hands", so of course everyone shoots their hands in the air (which is fucking sad btw that they felt the need to do that without thinking, as if you can't tell by looking anyway) and me and the other girl are sitting there with our hands down feeling like arseholes. In the end I told them how fucked that was, women turning on each other like that, and ate lunch somewhere else that day.
There's also the random comments while watching tv or a movie and someone takes their shirt off; "She's so flat", "OMG her boobs are so small!" Meanwhile the girl's boyfriend is always like "mmmm....titties" or "I'd like to put those in my mouth", etc.
I also remember my mom talking to her friend in the living room and I was in earshot while her friend was going on about how big her daughter's breasts have gotten and saying don't worry that I am a late bloomer and it will happen eventually. I was 17 I think at that point, and I knew that my breasts weren't going to get bigger. I think my mom said something like "it doesn't matter anyway", but I think to her it kinda did.
This shit used to really get to me in high school but I think I've stopped letting it for the most part.
So just remember, the people you get naked with don't care if your breasts are big or small they just wanna see 'em!

I'd be curious to know if anyone here has actually gotten ANY negative feedback from a boyfriend/girlfriend/fuckbuddy/etc. I bet it's really rare!

[DessieAnn]

I just wanna say I'm so glad I found this forum!

I am the only one whose noticed/experienced this? That all the 'haters' I've experienced through my life are straight women. I've gotten nothing but positive feedback from straight guys and lesbians...people who actually want to see my boobs! And honestly when it comes to sex I don't have problems with showing them, and the response has been 100% so far But put me in a change room with a buncha straight girls and I'm changing in the bathroom stall.
I was eating lunch with my friends in high school and two of them started arguing (one has A cups the other DD). The one friend with big breasts decides to end the argument by saying "Those with B cups or larger raise your hands", so of course everyone shoots their hands in the air (which is fucking sad btw that they felt the need to do that without thinking, as if you can't tell by looking anyway) and me and the other girl are sitting there with our hands down feeling like arseholes. In the end I told them how fucked that was, women turning on each other like that, and ate lunch somewhere else that day.
There's also the random comments while watching tv or a movie and someone takes their shirt off; "She's so flat", "OMG her boobs are so small!" Meanwhile the girl's boyfriend is always like "mmmm....titties" or "I'd like to put those in my mouth", etc.
I also remember my mom talking to her friend in the living room and I was in earshot while her friend was going on about how big her daughter's breasts have gotten and saying don't worry that I am a late bloomer and it will happen eventually. I was 17 I think at that point, and I knew that my breasts weren't going to get bigger. I think my mom said something like "it doesn't matter anyway", but I think to her it kinda did.
This shit used to really get to me in high school but I think I've stopped letting it for the most part.
So just remember, the people you get naked with don't care if your breasts are big or small they just wanna see 'em!

I'd be curious to know if anyone here has actually gotten ANY negative feedback from a boyfriend/girlfriend/fuckbuddy/etc. I bet it's really rare!

[DessieAnn]

I just typed in Support for small busted women. I was looking for help with my issues. I found you all by accident. But I am very glad I found you all, as it has helped me so much. I already feel better and stronger. I'm coming to a peaceful place with myself. You all have helped me so much to see what is real, what is important and that I'm ok they way I am.
Thank you so much!
Dessie Ann

[DessieAnn]

lilmiss and dessie... i'm jus curious how you came across these forums? i cant even remember how i found bust.

karategrrl: yes, women who engage in yoga (people in general) tend to be more at peace with themselves. tend to value their life for more than just materialism and image. that's what i see is the power of spirituality, it transforms people. it tends to lift people higher, allow them to put life into perspective. not to say it's the only way to live a quality life, but i do think it contributes to people being more aware of and appreciative of their Selves and other people and life as a whole.

lilmiss. yes. the insensitive comments. "she needs a boob job" is one that always bugged me. why do smaller chested women need a boob job? that's just mindless ignorance if i ever heard it. you are right, none of the people i've dated/hooked up with have said anything negative about my chest size. if anything, they have said things to build up my confidence and have even thought my preoccupation with my breasts was unnecessary. so i guess it comes down to this.. "those who mind dont matter, and those who matter dont mind"

[knorl05]

lilmiss and dessie... i'm jus curious how you came across these forums? i cant even remember how i found bust.

karategrrl: yes, women who engage in yoga (people in general) tend to be more at peace with themselves. tend to value their life for more than just materialism and image. that's what i see is the power of spirituality, it transforms people. it tends to lift people higher, allow them to put life into perspective. not to say it's the only way to live a quality life, but i do think it contributes to people being more aware of and appreciative of their Selves and other people and life as a whole.

lilmiss. yes. the insensitive comments. "she needs a boob job" is one that always bugged me. why do smaller chested women need a boob job? that's just mindless ignorance if i ever heard it. you are right, none of the people i've dated/hooked up with have said anything negative about my chest size. if anything, they have said things to build up my confidence and have even thought my preoccupation with my breasts was unnecessary. so i guess it comes down to this.. "those who mind dont matter, and those who matter dont mind"