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> small breast support group - (I need it even if they don't)
strongirl
post Jan 30 2012, 05:53 PM
Post #121


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"Sometimes it's hard to be body positive, but it is possible. I've learned to appreciate all kinds of beauty, and the hardest one to appreciate has been my own. But I'm getting there smile.gif"

That is just so...what this forum is all about. Big electronic hug out to you, Secretsights!



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KeraBear
post Jan 30 2012, 11:55 AM
Post #122


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wooooo!! Welcome back Secretsights88!!! smile.gif

QUOTE(secretsights88 @ Jan 28 2012, 01:53 PM) *
I hate when people feel the need to put one group of people down just to bring others up. I don't question that curvy women like Marilyn Monroe or Bettie Page were beautiful - they were. But so is Keira Knightley. I am curvy except for my small breasts, I have thick thighs, wide hips, a big butt and a small waist (therefore a low waist to hip ratio), but I don't think I'm superior or hotter than thinner women with their delicate, *feminine* bodies.... both curvy and delicate (as I like to call it) are sexy and feminine. Proof of that: I was just watching "Catch and Release", with Jennifer Garner and Juliette Lewis... and god are they beautiful and SEXY... especially Juliette... that woman always takes my breath away.


I know!! I enounter this all the time. Especially in the "body image" message boards on some teen web sites. If a gal posts something complaining about her small boobs, someone will say, "be glad you don't have big boobs. They are ugly and saggy" OR if a gal comes on complaining about having big boobs, it turns to comments like, "well just be glad you aren't flat!" It's just such a backwards messed up way of looking at things. sad.gif
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secretsights88
post Jan 28 2012, 01:53 PM
Post #123


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Well, long time no see ladies.

I agree about "Evo Psych" being crap. If what they said was true, then beauty standards would be universal, and tribes in Africa would value what our culture values... same with tribes in Brazil and other countries. I think it's really sad that we've been taught that "science" has the ultimate truth, when it doesn't. After taking a course on Scientific Research I learned that it's pretty easy to manipulate studies to get the results you want in order to pursue some sort of agenda... so I'm really skeptical now whenever someone mentions "scientific studies" to prove a point... especially when it comes to the human psyche, which is something you can't really measure or generalize upon, since we're all unique.

Recently a Facebook "meme" really pissed me off... there were several pictures of Keira Knightley, Nicole Richie, etc (though there was a pic of Heidi Montag post implants, which I'd taken out). And then there were pics of Bettie Page, Marilyn Monroe, etc... with a caption that said "When did this?" (over the pics of thin women) "Become hotter than this?" (over the pics of "curvy" women). I hate when people feel the need to put one group of people down just to bring others up. I don't question that curvy women like Marilyn Monroe or Bettie Page were beautiful - they were. But so is Keira Knightley. I am curvy except for my small breasts, I have thick thighs, wide hips, a big butt and a small waist (therefore a low waist to hip ratio), but I don't think I'm superior or hotter than thinner women with their delicate, *feminine* bodies.... both curvy and delicate (as I like to call it) are sexy and feminine. Proof of that: I was just watching "Catch and Release", with Jennifer Garner and Juliette Lewis... and god are they beautiful and SEXY... especially Juliette... that woman always takes my breath away.

As a woman, I think "ethnic" noses as you called them, DeeRayy, are really gorgeous and bring uniqueness to a face... I've realized that not everyone has to have typical "feminine" features to be gorgeous. Sometimes an ethnic nose can bring more beauty than if it were smaller... I've always liked Middle Eastern women's noses... I don't think a naturally small nose is better than a bigger one. They're just different, and just as beautiful.

Likewise I've had acceptance issues with myself. Like I have a strong jaw. I always felt it looked manly and ugly, but for example, Olivia Wilde has an evern stronger jaw than mine and she is beautiful too. Same with my eyes, I have brown eyes and hardly ever get compliments for them, as oppossed to my friend with big green eyes, who always gets compliments on them. But I've learned that any eye color can be pretty... maybe brown eyes are more common where I live so they don't stand out, but it doesn't mean green eyes are better. And that's the way it happens with everything.

Sometimes it's hard to be body positive, but it is possible. I've learned to appreciate all kinds of beauty, and the hardest one to appreciate has been my own. But I'm getting there smile.gif
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KeraBear
post Jan 27 2012, 09:26 PM
Post #124


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I agree with Strongirl and call BULLSHIT!!

Dee, I am equally astonished that your roommate would be so insensitive...
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skindeep1991
post Jan 27 2012, 11:46 AM
Post #125


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Hey ladies this is off topic just quickly wanted to leave this link here to cheer some of you up:
http://www.reddit.com/r/gonewild/comments/..._angel_breasts/

=] see we are attractive... (those aren't my boobies btw haha)

also there is a whole sub reddit called http://www.reddit.com/r/xsmall that is basically dedicated to the appreciation of small boobies =]... have a look through ladies and cheer yourselves up =]
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strongirl
post Jan 26 2012, 10:00 AM
Post #126


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OK, I've gone off on this in here before I know but it's been a while. Cue rant.

DeeRayy, those "studies" come from the field of Evolutionary Psychology. This field is so questionable that there is an entire Wiki article devoted to "Criticism of Evolutionary Psychology". The article is pretty dry and adademic but the main thing to note is that the material generated by "Evo Psych" is NOT regarded as valid science, not widely agreed upon, and in the view of its many critics, simply reflects the cultural and social biases of its researchers.

That stupid waist to hip ratio thing has been kicking around for ages even though it's been seriously questioned by other studies and found to be highly influenced by culture and ethnicity. Like many of the "studies" done in that field, it seems to serve primarily to validate the prejudices of the researchers themselves - big shocker there.

You say it bothers you that "that these concepts are being taught to university students as simple facts of life". Well, sister - it ENRAGES ME!

If you want more ammo against this crap, the book "Sex at Dawn" by Ryan and Jetha, is a juicier and more in-depth read than the Wiki article. It serves to answer some of the same questions as Evo Psych but in a much more rigorous and un-biased manner. Throughout the book, the authors skewer the faulty science and bias-laden logic of conventional Evo Psych. As a long-time skeptic of Evo Psych, I couldn't stop smiling while I was reading it! They are not without their own biases, but they recognize this and try hard to get past it. A recommended read.

But whether or not you read the Wiki or the book, just take this with you: those "studies" are not based in valid science and say absolutely NOTHING about you or your attractiveness. They're bullshit and should be called out as such.
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DeeRayy
post Jan 25 2012, 12:04 PM
Post #127


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rant!

so i'm sure you guys are familiar with those studies on "attractiveness" and what makes us attractive from a biological standpoint. well, it really irked me when my roomate came home talking about how in her sociology lecture they went over what is supposed to be attractive in a woman from an evolutionary/biological standpoint, which is a small nose, larger eyes, a small chin, and a low waist-to-hip ratio. my roomate is very...well, she likes being told what to do and what is right/wrong and so she totally ate it up. these studies have always ticked me off because i am basically the antithesis of these features. i have a prominent ethnic nose, small hips, and small boobs so it really bothers me when these studies basically tell me that i am the total opposite of what men naturally find attractive. and it bothers me even more that these concepts are being taught to university students as simple facts of life. i don't want to sound overdramatic, but it's things like these that make me feel like i inherited no physically attractive features whatsoever =/
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KeraBear
post Jan 21 2012, 09:07 PM
Post #128


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Thanks Deerayy. Your response really hit the mark. i do feel better about things now. You rock. smile.gif
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DeeRayy
post Jan 20 2012, 12:03 AM
Post #129


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QUOTE(KeraBear @ Jan 19 2012, 05:43 PM) *
I have a quick question. When you have a bad boobie day, do you ever experience feelings of... guilt? Whenever i get down on myself I sometimes feel even worse because I think about how I have this healthy body that lets me do such amazing things! Like what would a crippled person think about my talk of struggling with such an insignificant thing? I dunno... I sometimes feel like a bad person. Is that silly?


I definitely know what you're talking about kerabear. sometimes i just feel so ridiculous for letting my boobies get to me so much when there are so many people out there who would give the world just to have a working, healthy body. i think that you should keep that in mind just for perspective' sake. but i don't think we should feel like bad people for struggling with our bodies. it's not like i wake up and say, "yup, i'm gonna continue feeling ashamed of my boobies today!". i truly wish i could just snap my fingers and make my problems go away, but i can't. it's not something we do on purpose, and i think considering the society we live in it's not very far fetched to struggle so much with one body part. and my boobie issues go much deeper than just aesthetics. they are much more about feeling like a woman, and to a slightly lesser extent, feeling desirable. i think that those are things that almost every woman wants to feel. so yes, we should be thankful for being healthy but i don't think it's good to beat ourselves up over emotional issues that we don't have complete control over.
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KeraBear
post Jan 19 2012, 07:43 PM
Post #130


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I have a quick question. When you have a bad boobie day, do you ever experience feelings of... guilt? Whenever i get down on myself I sometimes feel even worse because I think about how I have this healthy body that lets me do such amazing things! Like what would a crippled person think about my talk of struggling with such an insignificant thing? I dunno... I sometimes feel like a bad person. Is that silly?
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KeraBear
post Jan 17 2012, 11:18 PM
Post #131


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QUOTE(strongirl @ Jan 17 2012, 10:39 AM) *
I think it can be very helpful to use another person's view to help bring ourselves into touch with reality. And when I tell my inner critic to listen to his worshipful appreciation...it shuts the bitch up!!!


LMAO!! This is so great!!! smile.gif

QUOTE(strongirl @ Jan 17 2012, 10:39 AM) *
And do take good care of yourself, girl - be gentle and nurturing to DeeRayy. She deserves it!


Hear! Hear!
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strongirl
post Jan 17 2012, 10:39 AM
Post #132


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Awww, DeeRayy, (((((big hug)))))!

I don't know this guy nor do I know enough about him to predict his reactions. But I want to mention some possibilities. As painful as this was for you, Kera is right - you're talking about it and that might be a good thing. I think most of the women who post in here have had similar experiences when we've been with a guy, even our partners, and had something trigger our insecurities. While some of the resulting conversations reported in here have been hurtful, many have been helpful, some even on the level of "personal breakthrough" in terms of helping us get over our issues. My boyfriend has helped me so much - not even intentionally for the most part - just by adoring my breasts and being totally turned on by them. And also in the things he's said which I have gradually come to truly believe - that "boobs are boobs and he does like them all", but he particularly likes mine. That implants and big boobs can be eye-catching but there's no way mine could be "improved upon". That even apart from me, he really does have "a thing" for smallies, as demonstrated in his "porn collection". That once a man is touching a woman's breasts, their size isn't even entering his mind, it's the woman's reaction to being touched that he's focused on. (As a bi- woman I can confirm this from my own perspective when I've been with other women.)

There's a tricky line there - no one can "fix" another person's problems and you don't want to give away your power by having your self-worth determined by another person's reactions to you. But our insecurities are distortions. I think it can be very helpful to use another person's view to help bring ourselves into touch with reality. And when I tell my inner critic to listen to his worshipful appreciation...it shuts the bitch up!!!

The reality is that this guy is attracted to you. If he wasn't, he wouldn't be getting erections and you wouldn't be having sex. Whether or not your FWB arrangment survives this somewhat more psychologically intimate exchange, and your own "end it before it gets too uncomfortable" reaction, remains to be seen. But consider the possibility that this "setback" may be an opportunity. And do take good care of yourself, girl - be gentle and nurturing to DeeRayy. She deserves it!
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KeraBear
post Jan 17 2012, 12:11 AM
Post #133


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awwww Dee, so sorry to hear about your bad boobie day! Yes i can understand how that might throw you off your game a bit. (((big hug!!!!))). Ahhh yes, the ol' boobs are boobs and i like them all line... but you know what? i think there really is something to that. I think most guys are satisfied to get their mits on any pair. At least you are talking about it now though. That might be a good thing? unsure.gif
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DeeRayy
post Jan 16 2012, 07:39 PM
Post #134


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hey ladies.

sooo i experienced a setback this weekend. i had a bit of an episode about my boobies in front of my fwb. while we were discussing body image today in the car the subject of implants came up and it totally triggered me. he didn't even say anything that positive about them, just that they look cool sometimes but feel weird and that he associates them too much with trashy porn women. but of course i started thinking about my booblets and got very quiet for the rest of the ride home.

he eventually wanted to know me tell him what was wrong and i simply can't talk about that subject to someone else without crying, idk why. so started tearing up and briefly explained to him that boobs are a sensitive subject for me because i've struggled with that part of my body for a long time and that I've had some pretty negative experiences before. i also admitted that that's why i don't take my bra off with him. he was pretty surprised that i actually cry over it, and so he hugged me and told me not to let it get to me and gave me the old "boobs are boobs and i like them all" line. so at least he tried to help, and i wasn't expecting him to know what to say anyway. i (obviously) wasn't in the mood for sex after that so i went back to my apartment.

i really don't want to let me distance myself away from him all because of my boobie issues, because i know i have a tendency to do that. the sex is great and even though we're not serious it would be really stupid for me to stop seeing him because of that. i'm kinda embarrassed that he saw me like that and idk if it's gonna effect our sexual chemistry. before this happened i was able to ignore my boobie issues for the most part. and now that it's out in the open i'm afraid i'll be even more inhibited. i don't have a specific question for you all, I just came on because it's been a bad boobie day for me. i just really hope this gets easier for me with time. hope you all had a great weekend though! mine was pretty nice if you exclude today.
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discowombat
post Jan 14 2012, 10:50 PM
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This is a bit off topic but clever nonetheless http://vimeo.com/34813864
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discowombat
post Jan 14 2012, 10:49 PM
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This is a bit off topic but clever nonetheless http://vimeo.com/34813864
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KeraBear
post Jan 13 2012, 09:12 PM
Post #137


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QUOTE(strongirl @ Jan 11 2012, 05:07 PM) *
"Is it wrong to actually enjoy having small breasts and wanting to show them off?"

No, it's not wrong, it's very right, and don't let the stupidity stop you from enjoying and sharing your body! I won't if you won't! Deal-io?


Count me in! Pinky swear. (titty swear?)
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KeraBear
post Jan 13 2012, 08:47 PM
Post #138


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Hey... yea! Fuck those companies and peddling those fucking stupid standards upon small breasted beauties everywhere! It's no wonder why so many of us are so fucked up in the head over this stuff!! Natural, unenhanced "as they are" booblets are fucking awesomesauce!!! Fuckity fuck fuck fuck!!! .......... *phew* ..... sorry. All this profanity in the forum lately has been... inspiring. smile.gif
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karategrrl
post Jan 13 2012, 08:08 AM
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QUOTE(strongirl @ Jan 12 2012, 05:14 PM) *
Oh my god, Karategrrl, I just fuckin' love you!!!!! (((((((hugs!)))))))

I love you MORE! XXXOOO

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strongirl
post Jan 12 2012, 12:14 PM
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Oh my god, Karategrrl, I just fuckin' love you!!!!! (((((((hugs!)))))))
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