[taracat]

Since it is the weekend I must pose another disgusting and wonderous siutation. It appears that my HB cannot wipe his own ass properly. As I sit in dismay over his underpants, I am in awe of what I always find. Do his balls just simply hang over his ass so that he cannot possibly fully wipe? I have purchased wet wipes, dry wipes, ass spray, you name it, but he is entirely comfortable with the fact that he has skid marks. I, on the other hand am not. Since he has no idea that I routinely shit my pants (I never leave evidence, nor do my super special undies contain any left over remenants), I wonder if I am alone in this ........

[taracat]

ggg- well, the truth is this... HB had no shit spray. I had the bag, (I actually wiped with coffee filters, no choice, and I put it outside in the trash, however, he smelled it when he got out of the shower, and I.... blamed the dog. ugghh.
Now on another side note, I fully believe someone on here has a voodoo shit doll, because when I was logging on here this morning, a little poo came out and that is the god's honest truth. What the hell?????

[luleey]

i wonder how old those eggs were. it's like a mean joke from the easter bunny.

[herculesgirl]

Indeed we are.

[jemisoutrageous]

I have been majorly hungover and shat liquidy pooh while in the shower more than once. I was also once super hung over and the toilet was clogged so I hung my ass over the tub and shat Bud Mud into a plastic bag and then bundled it up and took it to work and threw it in the dumpster.

The smokers lurking outside were all ,"What the hell is that?" This was the job where I was (also) so hungover I called in and said that I had been sprayed by a skunk so as to avoid a Friday night rush with the shakes, explosive diahreah and while vomiting up cheap Jello Shots from the night before.

I'm so pleased that my tales of shitting myself enroute to the terlit the other morning has led to all these sordid confessions. You are all my sisters. ((((((dirty-ass grossie girls))))))

[puppykitty]

Yo - you guys reminded me of the time the toilet got super duper clogged, and I had to poo really bad, so I laid a huge turd in a styrofoam takeout box full of half-eaten chicken fried rice.

I took it out to the dumpster right away. But I told one friend about it who reminds me of it all the time.

[epinephrine]

i had a major grody gross-out this afternoon. i was at the sally ann and i saw a bag of beautiful ukrainian painted eggs in the glass display counter, so i asked to take a look at it. they appeared to be quite old, and i noticed one was broken and there was something inside it. the lady opened the bag and this rotten wave of fishy garbage stench rushed out. the broken egg had a large, chunky brown ball inside it - the eggs had never been emptied before they were painted. over the years, the contents of the egg had simply congealed and dried into this evil, stinking little ball. i picked up one of the intact eggs and felt another one rattling around inside. i had a knot in my stomach for hours after i fled the store.

[luleey]

well, if you're me, and for some inexplicable reason have just pooed in a bag in a parking lot, you scamper out of your car and slam it in the trash can outside the convenience store. no WAY was i driving home for 30 minutes with that thing next to me.

i never knew i'd have so many partners in poo crime.

i think i was praying, too...maybe i should behave myself more. it could come in handy in these sitches.

[hellotampon]

I've shit in a bag too!

[msgoofball]

omg....taracat you have my sympathies....honest....but we have to know...where did the poo bag go?

[auralpoison]

Oh, I gotta know. How did you dispose of the poo filled bag?

[yummymum]

Ohhhhh Taracat, I'm sorry to laugh. But that is quite the humorous situation. Now what the hell did you do with the bag???

[taracat]

If my HB ever reads any of this, I may as well drop dead of shame, but here goes. While I was dating him, I went over and spent the night. One bathroom of course. He is in there showering and here comes the wave of feverish, crampy, shit your pants treachery. I have nowhere to shit. Dear lord, (always pray to God to hold shit in my ass, not sure why)Should I Shit in the yard like a dog??? No can do, neighbors. Grab a friggin Walmart bag and go in his pantry and shit like a mad woman. Imagine holding a plastic grocery bag up to your spewing swamp ass and go to town. Horrible, horrible, horrible. 13 years later, I am still traumatized.

[puppykitty]

Last night my friend told me that her mastiff has a sebaceous cyst on her hindquarters that is open and oozing grossness. I couldn't get her to share details other than that she squeezed it and "a lot of gross shit came out."

I will see her tomorrow at work and will probe her for more details like color, consistency, smell, etc.

[herculesgirl]

LOL...funnel cake!

PK, I had to clean the rat up because I didn't want my dog eating it (he does that)...otherwise I would have let the crows have their lunch. Boy, were they mad at me for taking it away! I guess for them it was like getting the bum's rush at a nice restaurant...

[msgoofball]

today i took a pooper...and it reminds me of guess what.....funnel cake. i kid you not...now i can't eat funnel cake for a while..sorry...my bad.

[glassk]

puppykitty... i guess that was gross. but that last sentance was better than a unicorn chaser.

[puppykitty]

Herc - Heikki and I once found an injured squirrel in the yard. I think it's back was broken. It was struggling to move, but only its front legs would move. It was horrible. We called animal control, but they said they couldn't do anything. Hours later, it died.

We just left it in the yard. Everyday, Heikki would ask, "Ya wanna go look at the dead squirrel?" so we would go out and look at it in different stages of decomposition. Bloating, maggots, the works.

Finally, it was just a skeleton. But Heikki wanted to check it out every once in a while. Everytime we looked at it, he would look up at me with big, round, sad eyes and say, "poor squirrel."

[luleey]

yes msgoofball, i was TOTALLY in plain sight! and NO ONE SAW ME!!! in a parking lot no less. at least, i think no one did...all i can say is i hope nothing like that ever happens again ;)

[herculesgirl]

Today's grossness:

I went out in the backyard this morning and noticed something moving in the open grass. It was a rat, and because it didn't try to run, I assume it was sick or injured, left it alone and went back in the house, hoping it would go away. After an hour or two I went back outside, and the crows had found it, and killed it. They had moved it to one of the shale stepping stones in the yard and were eating it. They had opened it up and made a big mess, which I had to clean up. It was pretty nasty, there was blood and guts all over the place. Crows are messy eaters.