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> A day to remember......the wedding thread.
aphelendra
post Feb 26 2011, 01:01 PM
Post #1


Hardcore BUSTie
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Posts: 145
From: Chicago, IL


congrats on the venue reservation!
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kittenb
post Feb 25 2011, 07:57 AM
Post #2


There is nothing ironic about Show Choir!
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Posts: 3,261
From: Chicago


Thanks, Polly. I told my Man of Honor that he was going to have to take me to that store. I've got a few David's Bridals dresses bookmarked too. None are over $250. I don't mind being a budget bride. It's just hard to set a budget when I don't know what I'll be earning.
In much better news, The Geek got a great bonus & raise this year after working A WHOLE FREAKING LOT! So we are going to use his bonus to cover the downpayment on our venue!!! It could cover the whole amount but there is no real reason to pay it all at once (and a few good reasons to not do that) so we are going to do payments. I'm so excited!!! As soon as we saw this place we both knew it was what we wanted. It needs no decorations or anything.
Welcome back, aphelendra!


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In times of destruction, create something.
MHK
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aphelendra
post Feb 20 2011, 04:28 PM
Post #3


Hardcore BUSTie
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Posts: 145
From: Chicago, IL


So I'm finally poking my head back in here, as it appears we are finally (maybe) planning a wedding. Hello to all! And my apologies for busting in here (no pun intended, I swear) and then disappearing. As it turns out, having a baby, planning a wedding, and attempting to finish school at the same time was not.the.best.idea.

Poly, I checked back a bit to see how everything went. Sorry about the family dramama! But on the other hand I must say, the idea of a barn wedding sounds so fantastic I think I might entirely scratch what plans I have. Ha!

No, but seriously, we might have to. A friend's parents offered us their house in the Dunes. It's a big house, but not so big that it can accommodate the 140+ (holy shitballs!) currently on our list. For reals. What the heck am I supposed to do? Just cross my fingers and hope 50 people don't show up? So we're having a tough ass time here, trying to cut down this list. Unfortunately Mr. Aphel's family is enormous, there's 50 people just from his side. And we're talking brothers, sister, aunts, uncles, first cousins, and that's it. Gah . . . .

Kittenb (and all), I've been all over Etsy, for wedding stuff that won't make you faint. I'm terrible at posting links (as in, I don't even know how), but there's a store called whiteromance that has some awesome dresses, all for under 300$. I also found a few stores that make tissue paper pom pom ball thingamajiggers for cheap, 40$ for 20 of 'em if I recall correctly. In the meantime, I hope the Job Gods bless you with new employment soon. Mr. A is also on the hunt after a less than stellar year doing remodeling and such. 'Tis tough.

Divala, I am off to check out that wedding planner. Probably best to purchase something along those lines, as my brain somewhat resembles pea soup as of late.

Luck to all! And I'll be back . . . .
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pollystyrene
post Feb 18 2011, 07:40 PM
Post #4


Too many mutha uckas, Uckin' with my shi-
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Posts: 4,631
From: Chicago


((kitten))

My new co-worker got married last July and she got her dress here. It was brand new, would have been $1800, but she paid $50. I guess the place gets lots of wedding dresses, even new ones- apparently, there are women out there who can just buy a few wedding dresses and donate the ones they end up not wearing. blink.gif

Don't worry, something will come along.

Divala, how are things going? It's getting close! Oh, those last couple months are so much fun. wink.gif


--------------------
You went to school where you were taught to fear and to obey, be cheerful, fit in, or someone might think you're weird.
Life can be perfect. People can be trusted. Someday, I will fall in love; a nice quiet home of my very own.
Free from all the pain. Happy and having fun all the time.
It never happened, did it?
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kittenb
post Feb 18 2011, 04:30 PM
Post #5


There is nothing ironic about Show Choir!
***
Posts: 3,261
From: Chicago


Divala - I'm with you on not wanting strapless. I also cannot wear halter dresses, another big trend in dresses. They hurt my neck & give me bad headaches.

It has been ages since I've been here and I cannot believe I am about to type the same thing I typed last time I was here: I need a fucking job to plan my fucking wedding! We have ideas, we even have an unpaid hold on a venue (I love that they were willing to do that.) We even have a preferred date (March, 2012.) But I don't want to put money on anything until someone hires me. There were several weeks that even thinking about my wedding made me burst into tears because I feel guilty about not having a job. So now I need to apologize to my future mother-in-law because I think she thinks I blew her off. She has some requests for the guest list and throwing me a shower and I was so overwhelmed when she brought it up that I didn't know what to say. I told we would talk about it after Christmas and then...I got really depressed about everything and I didn't follow up with her. Clearly I have a life-time to make it up to her but she is very sensitive (and out of town) so I need to figure out how to apologize without bursting into tears. Although that would at least make it clear how stressed out I am.

I just want to get to the wedding planning. It looks like fun. All I can do now is look at price tags and try not to faint. Everything seems to expensive.


--------------------
In times of destruction, create something.
MHK
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Divala
post Dec 9 2010, 06:39 PM
Post #6


Hardcore BUSTie
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Posts: 1,009
From: Minneapolis


Congratulations on your engagement! I know you haven't set a date yet, but do you have any idea when the wedding might be?

I bought one of those binders awhile back with the folder flaps and tabs and all the bells and whistles in it. It's "The Complete Wedding Planner and Organizer" by Elizabeth Lluch. It's spiral bound, too, which helps. Some of their budgeting advice I've found to be off, but at least it's a place to start. Also, the Offbeat Bride book has some good tips for planning inexpensively and a lot of DIY ideas. It wasn't really my thing because it assumes your friends and family are all talented at something that has to do with your wedding, which my friends and family are totally not.

~~~~~job hunting vibes~~~~

I'm still trudging through the planning. The wedding is 4 months from today, and I wish I could stretch it back to 8 months. All the really big stuff is done and my dress came in yesterday, so I'm going to play hookey from work on Tuesday to try it on with the alterations lady and also see about getting some invitations made. I need to have wide straps added to the dress and a bolero jacket made, since I need that kind of a safety blanket because I've never exposed my upper arms to anyone besides my fiance and health care professional. I just don't understand this trend of strapless dresses lately. What happened to sleeves?


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"After all those hours of concentrated effort, I come home pure as the driven snow." -Gidget
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kittenb
post Nov 21 2010, 11:52 AM
Post #7


There is nothing ironic about Show Choir!
***
Posts: 3,261
From: Chicago


Thanks Persi. I'm in a much better mood than I was in before. It seems that The Geek has some grander ideas than I had but had even less idea of what it would cost. However, we had a fun time on Friday talking about ways to really personalize our wedding, things that we both wanted. I proposed a budget amount for us to aim for, he was suprised at how low it was but I think it gives us some room to wiggle and work with. So I guess we will see. We have an approximate date in mind and it gives us a few months before we even have to put money down on anything so.....SOMEONE PLEASE GIVE ME A JOB!!!!! biggrin.gif


--------------------
In times of destruction, create something.
MHK
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Persiflager
post Nov 20 2010, 02:08 AM
Post #8


Hardcore BUSTie
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Posts: 721
From: Babylon


Could you plan based on the assumption that you don't find a job soon? It would make you focus on the things that are really important to you both, and then when you find a job you can spend more on those things (which will be less depressing than having to cut back).

I don't mean to be pessimistic! But I do have a couple of friends who had to do their weddings on tiny budgets, and they worked out brilliantly because they were so personal and meaningful.


--------------------
“Logic is the art of going wrong with confidence.”
Morris Kline (mathematician, author) 1908-1992
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kittenb
post Nov 19 2010, 10:23 AM
Post #9


There is nothing ironic about Show Choir!
***
Posts: 3,261
From: Chicago


I bought the bridal planner that I had my eye on. It is both helpful and useful but it doesn't seem to cover the one thing I am stuck on right now: how do you decide on a budget? Currently, I'm unemployed and my job prospects are depressing. And I don't know how to talk budget with The Geek. I've mentioned it a few times that we need to set a number but he never follows up with the conversation. This tells me he is either uninterested or not ready to set a budget. Do you ladies think I should wait unitl I'm employed to start planning or should we plan with the expectation that I will get a job (I can't be unemployed forever, right blink.gif) Since I am unemployed I have far too much time to think about what I want but no concept of what he thinks we can afford. The frustration is compounded by the fact that my unemployment is depressing. Yesterday I was in a fine mood until The Geek called to say that he was going out with drinks w/coworkers. Normally no big deal as Thursdays are a time we normally don't see each other much. Last night, though, I cried for 20 minutes. My job situation is making this engagement stuff not feel as great as I expected it would.
In funnier news, I've realized that my ring is a little too big. I don't want to bother with a resizing until after Thanksgiving so I wrapped it with yarn. So now my gorgeous ring looks like I'm wearing my high school boyfriend's classring. I actually had to pull up a website on how to wrap a ring. The bottom looks ridiculous and cheap but it fits so much better now.


--------------------
In times of destruction, create something.
MHK
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kittenb
post Nov 15 2010, 01:44 PM
Post #10


There is nothing ironic about Show Choir!
***
Posts: 3,261
From: Chicago


Thanks everyone! I can't believe how many, "Have you set a date?" questions I've already gotten. I've been a fiancee for about 72 hours and I graduated from grad school over the same weekend so, no, we have not set the date. rolleyes.gif
After my graduation ceremony, The Geek & I went out to eat with our parents and some friends. Apparently, he had intended to propose this weekend w/out knowing that my family was going to be able to come to my ceremony. That was all last minute. So, my mom & his mom spent the whole dinner talking about the wedding and what I was going to want and how it should be and so on. I could see The Geek just shutting down from the pressure (he hates shopping and this was beginning to sound like one long shopping trip.) After we ate, I sent him home, alone, to play Dungeons & Dragons while my mom & I went to Macy's and looked at wedding magazines. I did find a very cool planner w/attached accordian file that I am buying soon. I need to start organized, I know this.
Afterwards I told him that, as great as his plan was, he just didn't anticipate the impact of proposing while we still had 48 hours of family time ahead. On the nicer side, though, I don't get to see my mom that much and we were able to talk a lot about what we could do (w/The Geek playing DDO the whole time tongue.gif)


--------------------
In times of destruction, create something.
MHK
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auralpoison
post Nov 15 2010, 07:47 AM
Post #11


Big Fat Bitch
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Posts: 4,932
From: Citizen of the world


Oh wow! Congrats Kittenb & the Geek!


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"You're cute, like a velvet glove cast in iron. And like a gas chamber, a real fun gal."
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Persiflager
post Nov 15 2010, 05:00 AM
Post #12


Hardcore BUSTie
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Posts: 721
From: Babylon


Congratulations!


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“Logic is the art of going wrong with confidence.”
Morris Kline (mathematician, author) 1908-1992
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pollystyrene
post Nov 13 2010, 11:55 PM
Post #13


Too many mutha uckas, Uckin' with my shi-
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Posts: 4,631
From: Chicago


OMG! Congrats to you and The Geek, kitten!!!


--------------------
You went to school where you were taught to fear and to obey, be cheerful, fit in, or someone might think you're weird.
Life can be perfect. People can be trusted. Someday, I will fall in love; a nice quiet home of my very own.
Free from all the pain. Happy and having fun all the time.
It never happened, did it?
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kittenb
post Nov 13 2010, 09:03 PM
Post #14


There is nothing ironic about Show Choir!
***
Posts: 3,261
From: Chicago


The Geek proposed to me today. biggrin.gif


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In times of destruction, create something.
MHK
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Divala
post Oct 6 2010, 02:59 PM
Post #15


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Posts: 1,009
From: Minneapolis


Our date is April 9, 2011.

Yeah, we're definitely going to make sure that whatever store we buy our liquor from will take back unopened bottles/cases, and I will make absolutely sure to tell the bartenders about that. I'm waffling between buying fewer bottles, but larger ones to get a better deal, or buying more smaller bottles so we don't end up with 3/4 of a bottle of something we don't drink left over. For the beer, we're going to buy bottles instead of do a keg so there won't be a risk of us having to waste half a keg if nobody drinks it all. Besides that, we won't have to pay a tap fee at our reception place. I'm less concerned about the wine, since it keeps well. I may try to buy a lot of it at the sales going on at my local liquor stores. Some of the deals have been as good as 2-for-1. I'd really like to order some cases from some vineyards I've visited, but it's really not worth it once you consider the cost of shipping.



--------------------
"After all those hours of concentrated effort, I come home pure as the driven snow." -Gidget
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pollystyrene
post Oct 4 2010, 01:18 PM
Post #16


Too many mutha uckas, Uckin' with my shi-
***
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From: Chicago


Sounds like things are coming along! What's your date again?

Buying your own booze definitely saves money. Will you be able to return anything that's unopened? If you can, make sure whoever's bartending knows that. My in-laws didn't mention it to the bartenders and they de-foiled all the bottles of wine to save themselves a step when they were serving...because they were de-foiled, we couldn't return any wine. My in-laws are still drinking wine from the wedding (and they drink a lot of wine!)


--------------------
You went to school where you were taught to fear and to obey, be cheerful, fit in, or someone might think you're weird.
Life can be perfect. People can be trusted. Someday, I will fall in love; a nice quiet home of my very own.
Free from all the pain. Happy and having fun all the time.
It never happened, did it?
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Divala
post Oct 4 2010, 11:45 AM
Post #17


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Posts: 1,009
From: Minneapolis


Hi, everyone! Long time no post!

Congrats, Polly! It sounds like everything went really well. And you were totally not a bridezilla for trying to keep on schedule, just assertive. The family drama sucks, though. I'm hoping our only drama will be my cousins from Chicago, who I can't stand, not coming. One of them got married over the summer, which I didn't attend, and hope to Maud that they won't come to mine. I don't want to pay for them to eat, drink, and be entertained when we don't even speak. I'll send an invitation, though, just to be polite and not stir the drama myself.

A lot has happened since I last posted here. We've got pretty much all the big stuff set. The ceremony is going to be in an arboretum with this 22-foot high glass fish sculpture which is located in a sculpture garden, which we can also use for photos since it comes with our permit from the parks board to use the ceremony space. The only problem with the space is that we can only seat about 1/2 the people we're inviting. I figure they'll only be there an hour or so, so they can suck it up, since the reception is going to be fantastic. We're renting a mansion-type place, which is one of those things I wouldn't compromise on. The crazy thing is that this one is cheaper for the whole place than it was for just a couple rooms in most of the others we considered. Catering comes with it, which at first I had wanted to hire an outside caterer, but now I'm pretty happy that I don't have to make that decision. We're also doing an open bar, since that's the only way this place allows it because the giant and I have to provide all the liquor/beer/wine/mixers/sodas for the event, which will actually save us a couple grand, so that's good.

I just bought my dress a few weeks ago. I'd done all my shopping on my own and had pictures taken of me in the dresses I didn't hate, but I let my mom come with me to one store that specializes in plus-size bridal. I got my dress from there, and I love it. All the other places tried to put me in poofy princess dresses that were uncomfortable and made me feel stupid. They barely even had anything available to try on without mountains of crinoline. The dress I did get has no crinoline whatsoever. It's an ivory strapless sweetheart neckline dress with a full scalloped lace overlay with a detachable train. I'm going to have straps added and have a bolero jacket made. Even though I'm a big girl, I wanted something that fit a little slimmer than the typical a-line, since those tend to stumpify and widen me. I just want to look and feel tall on my wedding day, for once in my life. I'm even wearing 5-inch heels, just to guarantee I'll be taller than the 12-year-old junior bridesmaid.

So, we've got venues/catering done, FI's friend is a photographer who's giving us a 25% discount, my dress is paid for and ordered, music is contracted and deposited (I splurged to get the best cabaret singer in Mpls to sing at the ceremony - I've been going to see her for probably 9 years and we're friendly acquaintances), and we're having a mosaic cake made by a local indie baker, which I'm the most excited about. Big white monster cakes really aren't my thing, so we're having a hand-pieced 4-5 tier (narrow tiers) mosaic cake in our colors with our graphics (initials and simple birds) worked into the design. It actually came in under budget, so I'm pretty excited about it.

Currently, I'm working on getting a florist and we're going to start on our paper projects momentarily. Except for the guys, who will rent tuxes, everyone else can wear what they want in the specified color and length. Since you can't rent a bridesmaid dress, I figured I'd rather have them buy something from a regular store that they'd shop at anyway for their dresses. That guarantees they'll be usable again. I figure I should book a hair/makeup/tattoo coverup artist pretty soon. I think I'm going to probably end up wearing my hair up, and I don't want to even try to mess with that myself. I'm also not one who usually wears makeup, so I want someone else to do that for me, too. I don't want to look awful in these pictures, so I figure it's worth the investment.



--------------------
"After all those hours of concentrated effort, I come home pure as the driven snow." -Gidget
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pants
post Sep 21 2010, 04:04 AM
Post #18


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Posts: 106
From: London


I totally agree with Polly, Kitten, it is very possible to have a budget friendly wedding. You just need to be creative about some things smile.gif We were able to keep costs on ours down by using friends to help design the invites (I worked at an art school at the time so had a pool of cheap talented labour) and luckily my cousin had just begun setting up her own photography business so she was psyched to take photos for us as it helped her build her portfolio (I still paid her obvs but she asked for considerably less than another photog would have)

Also, we decided to go back to my hometown for the wedding rather than doing it in Chicago, where we were living at the time. By choosing a much smaller town, all the costs dropped considerably, the reception site cost a quarter of what a similar place in the city would have run.

I also mangaed to find an awesome vintage party dress for $97 rather than going for a full trad wedding dress (which is not everyone's cup of tea, but worked really well for me, white washes me out, yo)

It's not for everyone, but I had an awesome time hunting up deals and finding fun different ways to make the wedding our own. I do come from a long line of hagglers though so maybe it was all genetic


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I am not a reliable narrator
This is a place where I talk about other stuff, and try to make it interesting.
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pollystyrene
post Sep 20 2010, 07:32 AM
Post #19


Too many mutha uckas, Uckin' with my shi-
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Posts: 4,631
From: Chicago


Aww, thanks, kitten! I can only attribute the perfect weather to all those goats we sacrificed to Ra. tongue.gif

It's very possible to have a budget-friendly wedding that is still nice- I think it's all about the personal touches to create the mood and then making sure your guests are comfortable and having fun. A gourmet burger bar sounds amazing! All that food we had (not including the cupcakes)- less than $20/person! And we had a lot of leftovers- Mr. Styrene and I are still having ribs, pulled pork, mac & cheese, baked beans for dinner every now and then!

I have a copy of this book, the 2009 edition, if you want it!


--------------------
You went to school where you were taught to fear and to obey, be cheerful, fit in, or someone might think you're weird.
Life can be perfect. People can be trusted. Someday, I will fall in love; a nice quiet home of my very own.
Free from all the pain. Happy and having fun all the time.
It never happened, did it?
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kittenb
post Sep 19 2010, 08:59 AM
Post #20


There is nothing ironic about Show Choir!
***
Posts: 3,261
From: Chicago


Polly -Having been at your wedding, I had no idea there was any confusion or drama at all. It all seemed so seamless. I would love to know what sort of sacrifice you made to get such great weather. Whatever/whoever it was, totally worth it. We had a great time and that weekend is one of my fav memories from the summer. happy.gif The food was fantastic. It also made me think that my fantasies of having a gourmet burger bar at my wedding not impossible after all.

I am not a Bustie bride, yet. The Geek has promised he will ask me, says he has something planned. Don't know what he is waiting for but that might be a conversation for another thread. Anyway...I believe him so I am starting to look for ways that we can have a nice wedding that won't put us in the poor house. I am job searching/temping right now so I do not know when I will have a steady income. I love some of the DIY stuff I've found on-line but I am worried about taking on too much. It is not uncommon for my crafty eyes to get way bigger than my actual skills.


--------------------
In times of destruction, create something.
MHK
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