[deschatsrouge]

Don't you just love it when pets do stuff like that, I love it when they puke on the floor at night then I get to step on it in the morning, I also love it when they make a point of licking their balls in front of the dinner guests.

[fuego_lento]

I did laundry earlier in the week and left one of my white T-shirts to dry on my bed. Since my roommate and I each have a black cat, I left the shirt inside-out so that if the cats slept on it the fur wouldn't show when I wore it. I picked it up two days ago, intending to wear it, and noticed a small smear of cat poo on my shirt where one of the cats must've either been bathing or, uh, not bathing carefully enough.

Needless to say, that shirt is back in the laundry basket.

[taracat]

Holy Mother, I HAVE to tell you all what just happened.
HB says, I have something brewing on my back and you are going to be sooo happy. I get some tissue, put him in position, and start to pop this enormous monstor on his back. He was squirming like a girl, so I moved onto one that wasn't quite so big.
OMG, When I tell you that it popped all over my face, that would be an understatement. In my eyelashes, hair, (shudderssssss..) on my LIPS. ahahahahaha. Even me, the most foul, disgusting lovin' creature, almost chunked it up. Now, did I stop, of course not. I cussed, ran, washed my face, and then went right back for round two. Out of that same pimply, out comes a splash of blood, all over my face again!!!! Now, I have virtually no skin left on my face as I have scrubed it all off. Wonder if all the gooey will make me get zits?
grosszilla- LOVED that game. My hand hurts from squeezing them all. And too think that he doesn't even flinch.

[quietmadness]

Well, hell.

Since I had to have my septic tank drained, and a new drain field installed 2 years ago, to the tune of about 3 thousand dollars, I've made the family make the transition to not flushing so much of the paper products, too!

It is particularly gross, I'd say. But then, I scoop out the cat litter into that same trash can. So my trips to the dump are particularly refreshing, to say the least! (Thank God for pick-up trucks!)

Oh, yeah: I had a sore nose the other day. Every time I'd rub it or whatever, it'd just feel a little sore. So, I decide to look at it in the mirror, to see what's up. It's not particularly red, or anything.

I go to work on it, and the first time I give it a lil' squeeze, THREE separate, firm "eggs" just POP out. POW! POW! pow!

No pus, no weeping skin. Just those three orbs. And I didn't even have to squeeze, really. I can't figure that one out. There wasn't really even any swelling before hand.

?

[jemisoutrageous]

Frankly I'm shocked that it took you this long, Aural.You drop that public ass,girl.

[bklynhermit]

congrats!

welcome to the shit & split club!

[auralpoison]

Y'know what? After reading the most recent issue of Bust & talking with all ya'll, I can poo in public with no shame. I now shit & split. I may make a big production out of gathering the TP if I'm noisy, but I can dump in public. Sweet.

[grosszilla]

I came out of lurkdom for this!
This is the best game...
http://www.lilgames.com/acne_zit_popper_game.shtml

[deschatsrouge]

Has anyone ever puked after watching their dog/cat puke?

[plynn]

I can't bring myself to actually share any horror stories, but I can say that over the years I've learned to pay very close attention to even the slightest twinge of *gotta poop* feeling. I don't seem to have a 1-10 scale of 'no big deal' to '!!!dear god!!!" I have to take the initial warning as a level 8, because things escalate fast. I have no idea why.

I've stormed in and used the bathroom in a fascinating variety of places, from public washrooms that were more like crackhouses to one of Budapest's finest restaurants. Just last week I had to ditch my running group and head to the nearest gas station because there was no way I was going to risk making back in time.

[bklynhermit]

haha! taracat, my zits make popping noises, too. especially the larger ones, with the really good heads on them. not sure whether they would be audible to someone else, though.

i think i am going to throw all reason to the end and get McDonalds or some other greasy fast food tonight. Maybe it will finally make me regular.

[taracat]

OMG strangegirl! I thought I was the only one with someone weird (namely my own mother) who behaves like a bag woman. There was a root growing through the sewer line at my parents house that I grew up in, and if you used too much toilet paper, you would have to snake the thing to the edge of the earth. Well, no paper in the toilet,EVER. She had a little sign.. (this is so very traumatic), on the back of the toilet that told people we had issues and not to flush any paper. (Picture this.. three friends sneaking in my bathroom to smoke a little doob, and suddenly they spot the sign, uggh) Well, my freaks of parents moved from that house 3 years ago, and my mother still throws shitty toilet paper in the trash can. Damn dog goes in there all happy.
She asked me last night to take some trash to my house because the can was full, so she get's it all together and presses down on the bag... you have no friggin idea what sulfur, funk ass stink emitted from that bag. I am gagging and my mother get's hysterical laughing because I am sick from the smell. I had to take that bag and put it in my trunk and drive home with it. Glad I didn't get pulled over

[taracat]

bklynhermit, my poor pal. I am with you sister. I wanted to write yesterday and inform that after I pooed, and went into the bathroom sometime later, there were.. about 20 peas floating around. I swear I chew my food, but for some reason, out the asser it comes, undigested and in it's original form.
On another sickening yet lovely note, did I mention that when I pop my zitties, they make noise? I thought it was in my demented head, but the professional zit popper I pay, mentioned that she can hear my pimplies pop. Hahahahaha. I make her show me any good ones. She says I would make a fantastic esthetician. I am dying to get her to get on here and tell us some of her nasty ass stories.

[bklynhermit]

oh. goddess.

not to beat a dead horse or anything, but i figured i ought to turn shit lemons into shit lemonade and share with all my grossies.

for the past several days, i have been shitting pure, unadulterated and virtually undigested vegetables. multiple times per day. huge salad craps.

i mean, seriously. i took a good look this morning, and saw COMPLETELY WHOLE DICED BELLPEPPERS (!!!) in there.

What. The. Fuck.

I thought salad was good for you. I don't usually eat much of it in the winter, but now that it's warm, I've been craving leafy greens and raw veggies like nobody's business. So I had a nice big salad for dinner Sunday night and another for lunch Monday afternoon.

Here it is Wednesday and I am literally shitting vegetation.

Is this some kind of sign of the apocalypse? Am I dying? Has 25 years of nonstop junk food caused my body to invert and only digest McDonald's french fries and Pop Tarts, whereas eating nutritious organic salads now makes me sick?

I'm really starting to worry, now.

[bklynhermit]

i had something like that in one of my nipple hair follicles, once. the most satisfying thing about it was that when i was checking it out, i pulled a little on the nipple hair in question, and the entire hair came out with a HUGE clump of goo on the end. so satisfying.

and yes, i have nipple hair and i'm not afraid to admit it. personally, i'm just hoping we can stay off the subject of poo long enough for me to get over this four day case of the shits...

[pollystyrene]

I get those underneath my breasts, like in the crease- it's like a little ball of wax. I've never had the scab form though. It starts with just a slightly irregular looking pore, a little raised and whitish (but not inflamed or irritated). I'll squeeze it and this ball of goo comes out and it's bigger than the pore, so it really has to squeeze out, almost like the pore is giving birth to it! Once you've got it out, there doesn't seem to be anything else in there, it's very dry. Yeah, and it's sort of like a pod- there's stuff inside that has a different texture.

I get them a few times a year and they're very satisfying!

[tyger]

so, for months and months and months (i honestly can't remember when it wasn't like this) one of the pore-type things on my areola has been extra-large. like, sticking out at least twice as much as my other ones (you know how they're all bumpy anyways). so for a while i thought it was maybe just clogged, so every once in a while i'd try squeezing it, but to no avail. so, i resigned myself to having an extra-large bump on my nipple.
today, though, i noticed it had a scab on it (it's never hurt or been itchy or anything), and i figure, hey, let's give it another try. so, off comes the scab, and a very little bit of pressure later (i hadn't got to the actual squeezing part yet) and two blobs just pop out. upon further squeezing, out pops a third. the second two were pure white, creamy, and very squishable. the first, though, was odd. it was like, a ball, with the creamy white stuff inside and an outer layer of something slightly stretchy/rubbery. it was quite a fulfilling experience

though now i'm torn between wanting it to heal up properly and wanting to have this chance all over again...

[tiramisu]

OMG! This is the most deliciously nasty thread I have ever seen! I have lurked around here for awhile, not really having anything to say, but now...well.

My DH has a tempramental gallbladder, and about 5 years ago, he ended up in the ER, thinkin he was dying. By the time my 10 year old and I got there, they had already given him 3 hits of drugs, without much relief. He wanted to go home to be miserable in his own bed, so I helped him get up. That's when the poo hit the fan, (sorry, I couldn't resist). Mount St Richard exploded from both ends. He was bent over the waste basket, puking, while the vilest, rankest substance I have EVER smelled oozed down his jeans. I had to hold a wad of tissues over my nose to keep from joining him at the trash can.

Unfortunately, I didn't think to send my son out of the room right away, so he's been traumatized for life. When DH finally quit erupting, I went out of the room - a room that had a door, thank God - and called the nurse over.

Just approaching the room, she could smell it, so she wouldn't come very close. When I asked her for some kind of garments, she dug into a closet and came out with paper pants. I took them in to him and helped him out of his jeans. He threw his jeans, underwear, socks and his workboots all in the trash can on top of the puke. I was secretly thankful that I wouldn't be washing it all later.

Finally, he was ready to hobble out of there. When we left the room, I called the nurse over again, and apologized profusely for leaving her such a God-awful mess. She just looked at me for a few seconds and said, "Child, you don't honestly think I am going in there, do you? That's what we have housekeeping for!"

Thankfully, we've never seen anything that bad, since, knock on wood. But every once in awhile, he'll mention that he knows I really love him, having stuck around after that experience.

[strangegirl]

sorry, double post

[strangegirl]

i don't post very often-

some member of my extended family used to throw used toilet paper (as in post-wipe) in the trash can instead of flushing it in the toilet at my grandmother's house. i used to beg my parents to find someone else to babysit me when i was little and they never could figure out why.