[chocolatekiss]

quick question, i've been seeing these vibrating rings in drug stores all over and have been wondering if they're any good. they seem so popular, i'm just wondering if they're a gimick to sell condoms or if they actualy work?

No they reaaaallly work

[snow white]

quick question, i've been seeing these vibrating rings in drug stores all over and have been wondering if they're any good. they seem so popular, i'm just wondering if they're a gimick to sell condoms or if they actualy work?

[dayglowpink]

Sststststutter- I have had a lot of problems with orgasming for about the past 2.5 years. I had the same kind of thing you describe, it started taking forever when I was by myself and I usually couldn't get it at all when I was with my guy. He was a new partner at the time, but the problem started before I met him. For me so much of this has to do with emotional issues, stress, and other psychological stuff. There's a book that really helped me called "The Elusive Orgasm" I think. I can't remember the author right now. If it continues to be a problem, I would recommend checking out that book. I am still working on this stuff; unfortunately there hasn't been a quick fix for me.

[erinjane]

Yeah, was the lighting bad? It sounds like his eyes were playing tricks. If it really was blood there would have been some sort of stain.

[bob4both]

I'd say a bad mushroom...

[kissmeducky]

This isn't exactly about sex but I don't know where else to put it. I have something kind of gross to share/ask about.

Last night I was with my boyfriend and we were being silly and he was biting my neck (not very hard) and teasing me about giving me a hickey. Now, obviously I couldn't see what I'm about to describe so I can just relate what he told me. He was sucking on my neck a little, but not hard enough to give a hickey from experience, and then lifted his head up and started freaking out and asked if he was bleeding. He wasn't. Then he told me that when he picked his head up he saw a drop of blood fall and noticed there was about a dime size spot of blood on my neck but by the time he could react and look back at it it was completely gone! He says it was like my neck reabsorbed the blood or something. When I got home I checked and there's absolutely no mark or anything.

What the hell happened??

[Sststststutter]

Well, I feel like I can relate to Courtiegirl in a way, although I've never been on the pill. I went for about a year without having sex before I met my current man and was quite satisfied taking care of my own needs. But recently I've been having a hard time coming--with AND without him--and it's stressing me out. I seems to be taking me for.ev.er. to O lately, if at all. He can get me sooo close, but then I seem to lose it, and the longer it takes, then I start to feel bad... i KNOW, i def shouldn't feel bad, but even **I** don't like to wait that long. He keeps telling me that maybe I need to do some self exploration and show/tell him what to do..and I agree, but the problem is I am having trouble getting my own self off lately without the help of my showerhead. And the tub faucet/showerhead doesn't quite feel good anymore either... its like I need way too much power to even come, which isn't that comfortable, and then when I do, it's not as great as it used to be. Can one overstimulate herself??

Are the days when I could have incredible orgasms just with my fingers really gone? Le sigh...

And sex... well, I don't know if I've ever had an orgasm during sex. I feel like when I'm on top I don't really get that much stimuation, and not enough to come.. maybe I need to try what aural said and use a pillow under his butt. Maybe I need to buy myself a vibe... I'm just feeling so forlorn about this! I've lost my O!

[dani1983]

In my personal experience, I've found that North American guys tend to go "stampeding toward the clitoris".

OMG YES YES!! Like 3 months ago I had sex with my ex, ( I havent seen him for 2 years). First, the whole thing SUCKED. Somehow I created this whole lie in my brain that he was actually big. Well he wasn't. Damnit, strike 1. Strike 2, he suddenly lost his erection! Here I thought I was Carrie with Mr Big, I ended up being Charlotte with Trey! Double damn. Strike 3: while I was trying, with all my heart and soul(and mouth), to make him get hard again by giving him a bj, he started "fingering me". oh no, not fingering. maybe playing morse code with my hoohah would be a better definition . I swear that's what he was doing. It was like TAP TAP TAP TAP, no circular movement, nothing! and the guy has HUGE fingers so I was in sooo much pain! but i was trying to work up Mr Penis, so I was afraid to scare him.

[culturehandy]

Oh gosh, I Loooooooooooove being on top. I have hard squirty, juicy orgasms.

I also love getting it from behind, kissmeducky, I say do what works for you. You like what you like, you come how you come.

All my ex ever did was missionary, it was boring, redundant sex and it's not something I enjoy that often. He was also a cockwad so....

[geekchickknits]

I don't usually feel the top vibe either. Some times it's good, but there are positions I quite prefer. I've also had several partners who can't sustain when I'm on top.

I think my favourite position is on my back with one leg up on a shoulder and the other wrapped around his waist or ass. This is particularly good if his cock curves to one side. Yum!

[auralpoison]

Um, I can't say being on top does that much for me. It only really works for me if there's a pillow under his butt to change the angle & I arch my back really hard. I prefer from behind as well. And there's something satisfying about the weight of a man during missionary . . .

Courtiegirl, I gotta say the OhMibod is not a very good vibrator. The actual vibe itself plasticky & cheap like a grocery store kids toy.

[kissmeducky]

I'm not quite sure what all the hype is about girls being on top. I've read countless tips and stories saying that the only way to have an orgasm during sex if you're a girl is to be on top. I personally hate being on top except for a few out of the blue occurrences and have never been even close to having an orgasm or even enjoying sex while up there. It just doesn't hit me the right way and I become too distracted by being the center of attention and doing all the work that I barely even feel it. I've rarely had orgasms from sex anyways (and it's practically always been my second orgasm after having one during foreplay) but they've most often been when he's from behind. It's the angle that works well. *Shrug* maybe I'm just different.

[courtiegirl]

Courtiegirl, how long have you been on the shot? Did you start taking it before you became sexually active?

I have heard from a lot of women who reacted badly to the shot. Some of them felt a loss of libido & had a lot of difficulty reaching orgasm. Maybe you'd be better off trying a low dose pill instead. Definitely talk to your doctor about this. There are other options out there.

As for masterbation ... well, different strokes work for different folks. Personally, I'm not big into masterbation, so I totally understand your "tickle" comment. Obviously there's a big difference between masterbating & tickling; that isn't your point. The point is that a lot of women just don't really like masterbating themselves with their own hands. They prefer for there to be a sort of second agent involved. That's okay! There's nothing wrong with that! Especially in this day & age because there are a lot of sex toys that can help you along. Some people love clitoral stimulation & vibrators are great for them. If you prefer penetration, then a dildo may work for you. Personally, I would recommend something that offers the best of both worlds so that you can experiment & see which you prefer. If you feel intimidated by using your toys alone, then ask your boyfriend if he'd like to play with them with you.

Thank you for understanding. I went on the shot shortly after I became sexually active, and I didn't know it then but looking back, I can see that I was turned on much easier before hand. And yes, I didn't mean that it FELT like tickling, it was just an analogy. Also, I was thinking about the Mirena IUD- what's your opinion on that? I have an appointment for it in two days; kind of nervous, but they may tallk me out of it since I haven't had children but I know of many others who were still able to get it.

My Boy does the clit stim. stuff real well. I always get almost there, then it's gone and hard to get back again- not that I'm immediately turned off, it just takes longer to get 'almost there.' I may have to try a vibrator, my Boy knows the people who invented the "Oh mIbod" contraption- Ever hear of it? Apparently it has a certain mechanism inside that mimics speakers and the bass in songs (while playing music) but the bass acts as the vibration synth... Sounds awesome to me.

Crinoline- Yes that's the one. I like that one.

[geekchickknits]

Courtie I'm in agreement with everyone else that masturbation is a good thing, and it's nice to not only be able to take care of yourself, but also to be able to show your partner how to do you right.

But there are so many other factors unrelated to BC and masturbation.

In my personal experience, I've found that North American guys tend to go "stampeding toward the clitoris". I've had quite a few international lovers over the past year, and I've found that although they certainly are aware of and enjoy the clitoris, they make love to a woman's whole body, not just her genitals. I don't have the libido/orgasm issues you're having, but perhaps you need some extended foreplay the doesn't focus solely on the sexual bits of your body.

I once had a partner who would start to turn me on (kissing me, my neck, etc.) fairly early in the date and then stop when I would start responding. "not yet" he'd say. He'd do this several times and then when we'd actually get down to business.......HOT DAMN! Because all the sexual energy had been building up, I would come to orgasm faster and more intensely.

Whew. Long post. Hope it helps.

[crinoline]

I guess I'll chime in here. I've experienced a "dulling" of sensation and more difficulty to orgasm since being on the pill. This seems to come and go cyclically, but it is annoying. It's not just with the boy, it's also when I'm by myself. We deal with it by spending more time on me in foreplay, and more clitoral stimulation during intercourse. (the boy has recently been really into going down on me -kinda new for us- and this helps a lot)

Courtie- in this position you speak of, are you lying down on top of him, your back to his front? We like to do that one, because it gives him total access, but he can't go deep enough to, um, "lose it".

[roseviolet]

Courtiegirl, how long have you been on the shot? Did you start taking it before you became sexually active?

I have heard from a lot of women who reacted badly to the shot. Some of them felt a loss of libido & had a lot of difficulty reaching orgasm. Maybe you'd be better off trying a low dose pill instead. Definitely talk to your doctor about this. There are other options out there.

As for masterbation ... well, different strokes work for different folks. Personally, I'm not big into masterbation, so I totally understand your "tickle" comment. Obviously there's a big difference between masterbating & tickling; that isn't your point. The point is that a lot of women just don't really like masterbating themselves with their own hands. They prefer for there to be a sort of second agent involved. That's okay! There's nothing wrong with that! Especially in this day & age because there are a lot of sex toys that can help you along. Some people love clitoral stimulation & vibrators are great for them. If you prefer penetration, then a dildo may work for you. Personally, I would recommend something that offers the best of both worlds so that you can experiment & see which you prefer. If you feel intimidated by using your toys alone, then ask your boyfriend if he'd like to play with them with you.

[girltrouble]

i've never got that self tickling argument, anyways.

the point is not just pleasure, but self knowledge. if you know what gets you off, hopefully you can show your boy how to get you there. cos, i have my sneaking suspicion that you've probably spent more time with yourself than he has with you. just a guess. so, perhaps you ought to try the self tickling. just so you can be a good tour guide.

plus, i might be all on my own here, but sometimes, it's sooo much nicer to just rub one out. no drama, no bullshit, just me making me climb the walls. no having to please anyone, no having to meet so and so, no small talk, just me and my jollys, getting off. thank god for my right hand, for reals.

but that said, there are 1000+reasons why your boy can't take you to the big o. and sometimes it's just not humanly possible. your body may prefer a showerhead, or a "massager" things that body parts can't replicate. but you'll never know until you try, and if you ask me, when it comes to sex-- having a closed mind is the biggest turn off evah.

[auralpoison]

A conversation can't be had unless somebody starts it, Courtiegirl. If you want people in the BC thread's info on BC/libido, you need to ask them specifically. You alluded that your laundry list of new symptoms was bothering you, but didn't really bring home the point that it was the decrease in your sex drive that has you seriously trippin'. If that's what you're really worried about, then ask about it. We're a fairly smart set & we tend to share any info we can.

I may not be able to tickle myself, but I can certainly say masturbation definitely does something for me!

[stargazer]

well, courtie, you could just ask if anyone had libido issues while on BC. i'm don't take BC so i can't help ya out there. i don't think what tes was asking was anything special. it is hard to tell by your post about the pleasure you receive from the positions you hold during sex. and if you cannot get specific, then i may think that you are still learning about your body and how responsive you are to different sex positions. it sounds like you are doing reverse cowgirl...are you on top straddling him with your back to him? plus, do you stimulate your clitoris during sex and/or masturbate? cause let me tell you, masturbating does not feel like tickling to me.

sorry to ask so many questions, but it is the only way you can get some answers to your question. but, if you feel ok blaming it on your BC then that's cool too.

[courtiegirl]

Stargazer said the Birth Control part was better discussed in the other thread. And I did say that masterbating "did nothing for me" meaning it's kind of tickling yourself in the stomache- if you're ticklish and tickle yourself, it just doesn't tickle as much. Ya know?

And on top from behind- It starts off with us both just on our sides- spooning if you will. Then he pulls me on top where it's easier for me to arch my back, and you can take it anyway you want from there. You really should try it. It's delicious.

For now I'm going to blame my BC, and the girls in those threads are more concerned about which methods work better for which people, side affects, etc. I don't think they know how to allude the libido problems.