[babyblue]

auralpoison, how about an app that identifies dickheads and sounds an alarm? Apparently they have one for ghosts; why not pervy asshats?

Haha!!! I love it! Although I'd be afraid that it would just sound continuously, much like the alarm of an unattended vehicle. Dickheads are taking over the world!!!

On another note, I had a phone consultation yesterday with the woman who sold me my wedding dress. I am scheduled for a fitting in a couple of weeks, and was just calling to confirm my appointment... She said that she had a seamstress coming to the boutique to take care of the alterations and to "add the cups into the top," to which I replied, "Excuse me?" "Oh," she said, "I thought we had talked about that before. Because of your bust measurement, I figured you would want to add a little 'oomph', so we can get some pads sewn in there for you!" Boy, was I livid! I politely declined, and instead of shutting the f up, she told me "we" would still "keep it in mind." Now, I also practically fought with this woman over the length of my dress, as she was insistent that I wear heels since I'm 4'11". She actually refused to order the dress in the correct length, because she told me there was "no way" I would find low-heeled bridal shoes. I can't wait to march in there with my adorable Kate Spade flats and lack of "oomph." I mean, it's fine for me to wish I had bigger breasts, but for some reason, it is completely offensive for a virtual stranger to assume that! Maybe I'm being too sensitive. It wasn't the mere suggestion, it was the way she worded it and her tone of voice that really had me heated. Naturally, she's about 5'9" with huge boobs...

[karategrrl]

[color=#FF0000]This is very high in my top ten list of demented shit of the week: iPhone app that augments breasts. Of course, it's free & more men than women are downloading it. I can just see a table full of giggling asshats taking iPhone pics of women as they step onto the patio at happy hour & then playing with their dimensions like pervy Viktor Frankensteins.

Ha, I think Keira Knightly looks SUPER as-is, in their "before" pic.

auralpoison, how about an app that identifies dickheads and sounds an alarm? Apparently they have one for ghosts; why not pervy asshats?

And feel free to vent here anytime. It's one of the few places we can do it with others who really GET IT.

[karategrrl]

On the swimsuit issue, I've found that it can be uber-challenging to find one that fits properly and is flattering and makes one feel great. It is time-consuming, but finding a brand that works for you is half the battle, I think. Lately I've been happy with one found through Venus (if you can get through looking at the suits on their busty models on their site and catalog). I just came back from an island vacation and was surprsied to really LIKE the way in looked in the suit I bought from there (when I saw our pictures). I got the enhancer top (it comes padded and also with humungo removable extra pads, wchich is dumbass...I removed the extra shit and was left with a flattering, slightly paddded top that made it look like I really and truly had bigger breasts, not just craply-shaped wannabe padding). Also they have lots of cuts of bottoms, which I like b/c I need a higher-cup bottom with my shortish legs. Only drawback was that the padded top retained water a bit.

Also I like some from Newport News--much cheaper. Also you can find swimwear enhancers (I think they're called "Bravo"--available online) that you can insert in any top or suit. Nice, b/c then you dont' have to rule out an otherwise cute suit just b/c of no contouring/shaping. Let me empahsize that I typically don't like PADDING, just a tad of shaping/contouring--I find that even like 2- or 3-eighths-of-an-inch-thick shaping can make a huge difference in how a top drapes/fits. Plus it provides a tad of modesty for my highbeams.

[strongirl]

Ha, when I was in college a male friend told me I had "big ovaries", ie. the feminine equivalent of "big balls". I liked the expression and have used it since to compliment other women on their confidence...and it always gets a smile or a laugh.

On the "real beauty" event, I'll use an expression I got from my teenage son: Represent!!! It seems like a perfect opportunity for you as a petite woman to speak up and point out that body acceptance goes both ways - if it's ok to be "curvy" then it ought to be ok to be "skinny" too. Or whatever. Body acceptance means just that.

Represent, DeeRayy!

[DeeRayy]

strongirl, boy have you got some balls! if i can attain half the confidence you have by the end of college i'll be set

i'm scheduled to volunteer at that dove "embracing real beauty" event. the speaker is going to be stacy nadeau. i looked her up and it actually made me feel less intimidated about going. she's actually kind of petite too! if she shares anything particularly helpful i'll be glad to share it with you guys. i'm still expecting the event to be catered towards curvy plus size women, but i'll just have to wait and see what it's like for myself.

[strongirl]

I was offended by the thought of the app (I didn't read it cuz why torture myself?). I wasn't offended by AP because I trust her intentions and Deeray made it clear that she wasn't offended by AP, either. But I do think that Deeray made an excellent point in that it's not particularly constructive for us to focus on that sort of thing. And when someone is having a "bad boob day", coming across something like that can really hurt.

We go to a lot of effort in here to debunk the myths that big boobs are better, including the myth that all men like them better than small boobs. Stuff like that app does the opposite - it reinforces the myth. While I think AP's reaction of outrage is very appropriate and shared in here, I personally don't think it's all that helpful for us to spend too much time in that headspace. As Anarch pointed out, the group evisceration can be therapeutic and it's helpful for the outraged person to get support, so I wouldn't want to "squelch" people posting things like that in here when they need that kind of support. But at the end of the day, our mental health is better served by reinforcing positive messages about small boobs, and body acceptance in general, rather than working up a head full of steam over stupid stuff like that app.

Kera, re. "rocking it" at clothes optional beaches and hot springs - thanks! But really, the places I like to go are all about body acceptance and are family-friendly, naturist-oriented places, truly the opposite of a meat-market, swinger, competitive scene, so "confidence" isn't required as much as simple appreciation of the beauty and variety of the human body, including mine. That South Beach scene mentioned by babyblue sounds like Hell on Earth. No thank you!

Although I must confess to occasionally going topless at regular public beaches and parks, pushing the envelope of legality. We haven't discussed the topfree rights movement in here that much but I do think it has relevance.

[anarch]

I was interested in AP's link. I may be misremembering, but I think the links posted here have often ranged from positive to outrage-worthy. I've found our group evisceration of the outrage-worthy ones to be therapeutic.

I want an app that passes judgment on men's body parts. Two wrongs don't make a right, but I think fewer men would feel entitled to pull this shit if they knew what it was like to be on the receiving end every day, everywhere. NOTHING teaches like experience.

[DeeRayy]

on another note, i saw fast five this weekend and i thought i was going to have to cringe and look away from a pair of implants every five minutes since it's a guy movie, but i was pleasantly surprised! all the actresses in that movie were small breasted hotties! besides 300, it's the only guy movie i've seen like that!

[DeeRayy]

kera, i see your point now about her needing to vent too. i guess i'm just easier to upset than others. i wasn't trying to attack her or anything, i was just voicing my personal opinion about those posts.

[KeraBear]

Strongirl, I am envious of your ability to just rock it out at a clothing optional beach. That is like the ultimate in confidence right there. If I ever reach the point where I can just chill on the beach buck naked without freaking out on the inside (and out!)... that's when I know I've made it!

[KeraBear]

I want to design an app that is a "Fuck YOUR app!" app so that we can let the people that peddle this crap know what we think about it.

LMAO!!!!!! I can totally get behind this!

I wasn't really offended really. I mean, that's just AP being.... AP. She needs a place to vent just like we do. I can appreciate where you are coming from, though, DeeRay.

[DeeRayy]

no offense auralpoison, but if you have a feeling that these articles might offend or upset the small breasted gals, then why do you post them on the small breast support group? we're supposed to be encouraging each other on here, not reminding each other of all the negative crap out there in the world. we already know that people can be insensitive jerks when it comes to women's bodies. i've encountered those kinds of people and like to avoid them whenever possible. i know you probably mean well, but do we really need you informing us when something like that iphone app happens? honestly, what good does it do here? i go to this place when i need to feel better about myself, and i certainly never feel better after reading those articles. this is supposed to be a place of positive energy, support, and strength- not a place of anger. once again, no offense.

[auralpoison]

This is very high in my top ten list of demented shit of the week: iPhone app that augments breasts. Of course, it's free & more men than women are downloading it. I can just see a table full of giggling asshats taking iPhone pics of women as they step onto the patio at happy hour & then playing with their dimensions like pervy Viktor Frankensteins.

I swear, some days I just want to run around slapping people that need it, like whoever decided this was a good idea. Seriously. Line. Them. Up. My pimp hand is strong enough for everybody.

ETA: Again, I did NOT post this to upset anybody or make anybody feel bad. This kinda stuff just sticks in my craw so much & I wanna share the goddamn outrage. I want to design an app that is a "Fuck YOUR app!" app so that we can let the people that peddle this crap know what we think about it.

[babyblue]

haha, welcome back baby blue! i was wondering where you went. I'm really surprised that you have entered a support group thread for small breasts because you seem very together. i admire your upbeat attitude

Thank you! I have good and bad days... I always try to remain upbeat, though. When I was in my teens/early twenties, the bad days occured exponentially more often than the good ones. As I've learned more about myself, I've found that if I can focus on the things I love about me, then the things of which I'm less fond (*cough* boobs *cough*) don't hold as much importance. I don't have many girlfriends, but I have noticed an overarching theme through all of the female friendships I've had: Even the girls who have the "perfect" bodies that I would DIE for have what they consider to be a "problem area." My gorgeous, lithe, full B-cup BFF hates her thighs and wishes she had more muscle tone. My model-thin, C-cup sister bitches about her "flat ass." Of course, we're our own harshest critics. For this reason, compliments can definitely take us by surprise. The lady in the bathroom who told you that you're pretty, DeeRayy, was simply viewing you from an outsider's perspective. People won't always be so forthcoming, but I'm sure plenty of people share that woman's opinion!

Don't let all my positivity fool you, though. I can be a real hot mess sometimes! I joined this group because I've always felt alone in my breastless frustration, and it is such sweet relief to know that I'm not.

As for the swimsuit issue, I see small-breasted women rocking the padded, push-up bikini tops on the beach, but I have never seen any such thing in my size! I stick with the unlined triangles, like strongirl mentioned. I LOVE Target (in general, but also for swimsuit shopping) because they actually allow you to purchase tops and bottoms separately. They don't always have XS tops, but I find that their Small size is usually perfect for me. Also, their bottoms are cut nicely for the most part. I'm not feeling the impossibly high-cut briefs with the 25-inch crotch... Who looks good in those?? I used to go for the more modest tops (as if I was really covering up the fact that I'm built like an adolescent, haha) but I've realized that the tinier triangles actually work to create the illusion of cleavage! I lived in the Miami area for 12 years, so I have definitely done some major swimwear experiments! Pretty sure South Beach is my own personal hell, though. EVERY woman seems to have canteloupe-sized implants, and many of them roam around topless. I went there with a boyfriend once, and I have never more strongly yearned for the ability to melt into a puddle of liquid WTF and wash myself away from a situation. Ugh, just thinking about it makes me feel stabby to this day...

[strongirl]

Thanks, Kera!

Deeray - so glad you're having a good week! Yay!

A couple thoughts for you. Compliments can't substitute for self-esteem but they can help build it, especially when one's self-concept is negatively distorted to begin with - take it, enjoy it, use it to get in touch with the reality of how beautiful you really are. And be generous with the compliments you give out, too.

Just a thought re. the counselor, who sounds clueless when it comes to your issues - it may be more empowering for you to fire her than go again. Think about it at least.

On swimsuits, yes, I have problems wearing swimsuits...because I'd rather be naked at a clothes optional beach, LOL! But if I do have to wear one, I go for the skimpiest, least constructed little numbers to show off my toned body and lack of stretchmarks. On top, I love triangle tops and they're really popular right now - I go for unpadded but I find that the slight "bunching" or vertical wrinkles of the fabric (since the cups are always too big on me to be smooth and tight) gives the illusion of just a bit more size to my boobs.

[DeeRayy]

haha, welcome back baby blue! i was wondering where you went. I'm really surprised that you have entered a support group thread for small breasts because you seem very together. i admire your upbeat attitude

i also receive comments on how i look young for my age, especially when i'm not wearing any makeup or when my hair is left in its natural curls. i haaaate it now that i'm only a teenager but i just keep saying to myself "when i'm older, i'll love those kind of remarks!" and p.s. kera, i used to milk it too by buying youth admission tickets to the movie theaters. muahaha!

well this week has actually been a good week for me. the first good week in a while, as a matter of fact! i just got a new hairstyle and i've been getting lots of compliments, which is nice. some random lady at denny's even told me that i was pretty in the bathroom, which never happens to me! haha. but it still feels weird taking a compliment, and i try not to rely so much on other people's appoval. nonetheless, it's quite nice to hear.

but anyways, i'm also benefiting from a student health organization i'm involved in that has recently been putting on a lot of body image events lately. the most recent one that i volunteered at was a dive in movie, where "hairspray" was being shown on a screen next to one of the campus pools. now i am not trying to stereotype [excuse me if I offend anyone with this next comment] but the majority of students at my school are asian, and sooo i saw many girls there that were petite up top, like me. and i guess admiring the beauty of their bodies helped me see that small breasts are just as beautiful as any other kind. just seeing so many body types period made me feel better. i still wouldn't wear a swimsuit in public, but i'm working on it!

but uggghhh i have my next appointment with my darn counselor again this friday. this may very well be my last appointment with her if it's anything like last time.

i will leave here with my usual question for the group-
swimsuit season is coming up. do you have any problem wearing one? especially since they are all so low cut? and, what kind of swimsuits are best for small breasted women?

[KeraBear]

Yeah, Strongirl! Still rocking it at almost 50!!!!!!!

I think i mentioned this before, but when I was a freshman in high school, I would always be handed kids menus when I was out at restaurant. Embarrassing? Hell yeah! But not gonna lie, it was easy on the pocketbook.

[strongirl]

Hi Babyblue, welcome back, glad you're able to contribute again!

Houdini boob effect???!!! LOL That's too funny. Mine have always been "now you see 'em, now you don't" since I can gain and lose almost a cup size with hormonal changes, not just weight gain/loss.

As for the "youthful" look, I've never disliked it but as the "granny" of this group at almost 50, I REALLY appreciate it now. I consistently get mistaken for being in my late twenties or early thirties (happened earlier today with my mom's doctor). It's pretty sweet. I think I'd look more matronly now if I had big boobs.

[babyblue]

I feel as though I've missed so much!!! I got locked out of my account somehow, and BUST sent me a series of non-working passwords. Mega annoying!

I know I'm a bit late on this, but...

I went ahead and told her why I came and we started talking about my issues with my breasts and why they affect me so much and she says this to me,
"I can see why it's such a struggle for you because often times breasts are what separates women from men."

but what do you guys think? am i just being too sensitive?

*z-snap* *helicopter neck* Oh HELL no! I reckon I would have closed-fist punched that counselor in the face! I'm happy to hear that you've found such an empowering image. It's nice to know that there's actually a porn star out there with a relatable body type who isn't solely billed as a "naughty schoolgirl" or whatever.

Just to throw in my two cents on the fitness issue, I most definitely experience the "Houdini boob" effect when I lose weight. I was on a major yoga and diet kick a couple years back, and while I LOVED the full-body results, I went from a 32A to a 30AA in a matter of months! It's tough for me to strike the right balance.

Count me in on the "real women have vaginas" campaign! While it's nice to see another societally "frowned-upon" body type get some positive attention, the message is definitely alienating to those of us who are just naturally petite/small-breasted/thin. As I creep closer to 30, I have begun to enjoy the fruits of the "you look so young for your age" comments (which I always used to hate). However, I would love to be described as "womanly." Just once.

You ladies are all so fantastic and inspiring! Passwords be damned! I'm back!

[KeraBear]

Kera, with your intelligence you should probably go into medicine or physics or computer science but geez, girl, if none of those pan out you have a sure shot at a career in stand-up comedy! You crack me up on a regular basis! And I thank you for it!

Hey, thanks. Usually I don't feel like I really have enough life experience to give good advice. But I can always make someone smile. A comedian? Sort of like another small-breasted superstar that I know - Sarah Silverman!

Deeray, I think it's totally healthy that you are using that image to challenge the (false) belief planted by your ex-bf that small-breasted girls are less sexy. I think you are getting far more benefit from that than from that clueless therapist.

I was thinking this exact same thing. Your guy friend and his suggestion seemed to do way more good than the "professional." ...... oh yeah, and I second the idea that he may just have been flirting with you. YOWZA!