[karategrrl]

Ladies I also have a Boobie related question for you all.....
During sex or playtime with a partner, do you find that your Breasticles are a little bit ignored?

Overall, no, they're not ignored. If anything, sometimes I want him to ignore them because they're too sensitive at that particular time and I need more foreplay. He often doens't "get" that there needs to be a little more workup than instant nipple sucking; I'd like for him to work his way around the entire booblet first. He's done that a time or two and I let him know that was GOOOD. Funny you ask--today, laying in bed after sex he kept on playing with one of them.

But I will also say that he never compliments them either--or any particular body part--so you're actually making out better than I am in that regard. He says I'm hot, and says it fairly often, but the closest I'll get to a compliment on a specific body part is when I complain about my "fat" ass and he says he likes it just fine. (A bit of an ongoing joke...I complain about my fat butt, he complains about his fat gut.)

Reading about neglected nipps and booblets makes me sad. Sending much LOOOOOVE for all the sweet, beautiful booblets feeling neglected today. <3

[skindeep1991]

i don't have much advice to give on this one because it's something i still struggle with, and right now i'm dealing with it by just keeping them hidden away under my bra.

It's sad to hear that you're that uncomfortable with showing your breasts during intimate moments. I don't hide mine from partners because I have the frame of mind that if you love me you love ALL of me. I hope you don't hide them away forever you're a wonderful girl and sex is about being vulnerable with someone else. He probably has his insecurities too. I hope you learn to love those gorgeous boobies. I find if you say it enough to people about how awesome your boobies are you'll start believing it too x

[DeeRayy]

Ladies I also have a Boobie related question for you all.....
During sex or playtime with a partner, do you find that your Breasticles are a little bit ignored?

skindeep, i actually make sure my booblets are ignored. i absolutely refuse to take my bra off during sexytime. i just feel more comfortable with it on. my current sexual partner seems to be an ass man, much to my relief. he occasionally tries to maneuver his hand or mouth towards them but when that does happen i direct his attention elsewhere. any attention paid to my boobs only reminds me how insecure i am about them, and that just kills the mood for me.

my last partner didn't grope them much but he liked to play with my nipples in his mouth a lot. i know what you're feeling though. i just never got the sense that he was really enjoying them. i don't have much advice to give on this one because it's something i still struggle with, and right now i'm dealing with it by just keeping them hidden away under my bra.

[skindeep1991]

Stronggirl, I've bought that book =D I'm waiting for it to be posted should be here next week, I'm looking forward to it tbh. I finally decided I need to do something about my situation.

Ladies I also have a Boobie related question for you all.....
During sex or playtime with a partner, do you find that your Breasticles are a little bit ignored?

Not always but my partner plays with them for about 2 seconds compared to everything else. Especially if I'm on the bottom (tmi i know) but they tend to look a lot flatter when I'm lying down. When I'm on top they get a little more attention but generally not much, it's just guys make such a big deal about breasts and my partner says that he finds small ones really attractive when I mention my insecurities.
But when it comes to complimenting my appearance (which i generally have to fish for) they are NEVER mentioned...EVER....he'll say that he loves my bum and my back etc...but he never mentions my boobies, which makes me think that he just says he likes them so I don't feel bad. Especially the lack of interest in them during play times.
I don't know if any of you ladies experience this but it's just got me thinking...

[Anne_Ecdote]

Kathy Griffin and her lovely little boobies.

[anarch]

Well, I'm glad you're sharing about it here, skindeep.

People are often too worried about their own looks to notice other people's. The few who do put down others' looks (silently or verbally, doesn't matter) can go fuck themselves. Like FUUUUUCCCKKKK YOOOUUUU!


On topic: I thought this ask metafilter thread posted by a small-breasted woman about looking sexier (without the predictable miniskirt + heels) had some good advice.

[skindeep1991]

WOOT welcome back all!

(((skindeep)))

Haven't been around much lately but I want to give you supportive hugs.

How are things for you now?

I'm doing a little better I think I've stopped starving myself and purging for a couple of weeks but I've found that I don't want to leave the house at all really and I quit my jobs months ago and i haven't gone back to pick up important forms yet just because I'm terrified of people thinking that I've gained weight.
I pretty much feel fat all the time but I haven't really spoken about this for a while, I guess I'm just pretending like everything is ok =/

Thank you so much for the support though ladies, I really appreciate it especially seeing as it's not little boobie related issue.

[anarch]

I hope you don't judge me too harshly for this =[

(((skindeep)))

Haven't been around much lately but I want to give you supportive hugs.

How are things for you now?

[KeraBear]

The site's baaaaack! ))))))

YAY!

I HATE it when that happens though. It seems like EVERY time we start getting some positive booby momentum, it gets squashed!

[karategrrl]

The site's baaaaack! ))))))

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[karategrrl]

First of all, let me say how amazed at am at this little corner of Cyberspace, and you ladies. Skindeep and DeeRayy (and everyone), you are all so amazing and strong. We're not all perfect and free of issues, and none of us will ever be. But guys have the courage to pour your hearts out here and ask for help and insight. That alone is an incredible strength--to reflect on what you're feeling, put it into words, and put it out there, even in an insulated forum such as this where we're basically as anonymous as we choose to be. Wow. I am strengthened by you ladies every day. But I digress.

Skindeep, I've never struggled with an ED so I think strongirl is most qualified to offer help, but one thing I know I have to share from my own experience is the tendency to go down those little mental roads you kinda know you shoudln't---like an accident at the side of the road...I shoudln't look...I loooked! Oh God, I wish I hadn't looked... I, too, have had those challenges big-time--checking out the exes on FB, etc. It has taken me a looong time and I DO still backslide a bit but overall I find that I've identified the road signs, if you will, of my own little personal "roads to misery" and find that I'm much better off if I dont' go down them to begin with. For example, I find that for some reason I'm more prone to worry and anxious thought during the night/early morning. So I think to myself, "Ok, I really need to sleep now, so I'll worry about this during the day." And then in daylight I say, "Why was I so bent out of shape over that??" I dont' know if this example really applies to you but what stuck out at me was the MENTAL process that brought you to this recent feeling shitty/purging episode. You know the pro-anorexia site and FB didn't do you any good. Maybe it would help to identify some "alternate routes," if you will, when you get the urge to do those things? Sounds like you really did try an "alternate route" by talking to your partner, but unfortunately that did not help in this instance. Maybe a girlfriend could offer a better perspective? Force yourself out to take a walk or meditate or something? Youknow what's best, not me. I AM very sorry you've in a shit place right now, and I hope I've offred a shred of something that might help. <<hug.>>

Oh, and please keep in mind: I used to model too and believe you me, they're not all that! I've been in dressing rooms half-naked with models male and female and everyone has fricking cellulite and moles and stuff, and half of them are so wrapped up in appearancs they are fucking stunted in personal development that to try and carry on a conversation with any of them is like trying to converse with a shoe. No, not all of them, but I've seen it 8 days a week. <yawn.>


DeeRayy, yes, that has happened to me. When I feel down about my boobies or I'm mad at hubby, I can't enjoy breast play, or even sex much. I bet this guy thought your nips were hot if he took one of them into his mouth. He may be feeling anxious about some part of his body, too, you never know. Give yourself some time and self-love, and don't do anything that you're not really into. It's YOUR bod, girlfriend.

[DeeRayy]

on another note, i had a very frustrating experience last friday night concerning my booblets. i've already told you all about how i was struggling with the idea of casual sex. well, i ended up messing around with the guy that has been pursuing me. we didn't actually have sex, not even oral. but we did fool around quite a bit.

anyways, this is significant because it was the first remotely sexual encounter that i've had with a guy since my last relationship. considering that last statement, it went rather well. however, i noticed that i no longer enjoy breast play. every time the guy's hand tried to go over one of my boobs i would panic and redirect his hand elsewhere. and then when he took one of my nipples into his mouth i was so overcome with anxiety that i didn't really feel any physical pleasure from it. this is very upsetting for me, because i used to love breast/nipple play and now i feel basically numb to it. it's like i'm being turned off by my own breasts. has anyone here ever encountered anything like this?

[strongirl]

Skindeep, no judgment here - I have walked a mile in your shoes. I struggled greatly with an eating disorder when I was in college, which could easily have killed me if I'd persisted in the binge/purge behaviors for more years. Apologies to those of you who have read this before, sorry to be repetitive, but I strongly urge you, Skindeep, I implore you, I beg you, I INSIST! you get a copy of Susie Orbach's "Fat is a Feminist Issue" IMMEDIATELY. Read it, do the exercises (mental exercises, not physical), then re-read it, over and over, do the exercises more...and I am very confident that you will get over your eating disorder, be healthier, be happier, and (as a side effect) look better. I am not kidding when I say I believe this book saved my life.

The thing is, the social and psychological influences that cause women to have eating disorders are incredibly strong and very pervasive. We can tell ourselves and our friends to cheer up, work out, eat right - but for a person really struggling with this stuff, as I did, that's just not enough. You need something as strong as the negative influences are. For me, Orbach's book was it - the insight to understand why I was behaving that way, the compassion to help me not feel like an idiot for it, and the practical, powerful exercises to reinforce my own strength to change and get healthy, mentally and physically.

Do it now and spare yourself years of self-inflicted torture. I'm glad I did and I wish the same relief for you, dear Skindeep.

[DeeRayy]

So I've fallen back into a bit of a rut, I've started purging which is awful and I'm really ashamed of myself for doing this. I really hate myself when I'm like this. I'm not a pleasant person to be around at the moment and I'm scared of pushing the people I love away but I'm also willing to do anything to loose the weight. I know it's wrong and I don't recommend it for anyone and It makes me feel like a hypocrite because I'm the first person trying to talk people out of the stupidity....I just really don't know what to do.

i'm very sorry to hear about your struggles, skindeep. i dealt with weight issues this summer because of medical reasons and it really does suck. all i can say is that patience is your best friend right now. i can not even begin to tell you how difficult it was for me to lose the initial five pounds during my weight loss journey this summer. but what really helped me was the fact that i was losing weight not just for aesthetic reasons, but for my health as well. it can be very frustrating when you've been dieting like crazy the whole week only to find out that you've lost little over one pound. but if you want to permanently lose weight, it must be at a slow, controlled pace. i really do recommend that you focus more on exercise than on extreme dieting. it's good for both your physical and mental health. believe me, i was once in a similar position just four months ago, and now i'm twenty pounds lighter than i was as a college freshman. i still have a bit more to lose and i still have my days where i feel dumpy and pudgy, but you have to be patient with these things. you can't just expect your body to change overnight. it takes hard work and time.

[secretsights88]

skindeep1991, your message was very touching. Please, don't feel stupid. Personally, I've never dealt with an ED, but I've dealt with very poor body image and I still struggle sometimes. I really wish I could help you more, but I just wanted to tell you not to feel stupid, or like a hypocrite. Trying to talk people out of this doesn't make you a hypocrite, far from it, it means you care about others and that you don't wish them the same you've struggled with. I know how hard it can be to compare yourself to an ex's new gf, and sometimes it's something that we just can't help. I'm sure that all lovely busties will support you, if you feel down and need to talk about it, no one will judge you here. I'm sure we all just want you to be happy and to feel great, and this is why we support each other.

Hugs!!!

[skindeep1991]

Heya ladies, I know it's been a while but recently I've been having a rough time, its not really boobie related but I needed someone to talk to.
I was sort of starting feeling comfortable with myself but a couple of things have spun me in the opposite direction. I stumbled across one of those pro anorexia websites and out of curiosity I took a look, I used to have an ED back in high school and I've been doing quite well up until this point. so anyway I was feeling okish about my weight but after looking at the website and all the tips I started thinking differently, about my thighs and stomach and my neck... I feel like I could do with losing quite a bit of weight in all honesty, I'm a size 10-12 UK sizes which is an 8 - 10 in American sizes. And I used to be a lot slimmer and it's really started getting to me. I've cut down my meals considerably and I'd started just eating salads, fruit and fish. Which isn't a bad thing. But I felt like the result is taking a long time...So it's been getting me down. I told my partner that I was feeling down about it and he said for me to just go to the gym, which wasn't very helpful (he's not good with these kind of things).
So anyway last night I stumbled across my ex's Facebook and saw that he had a new girlfriend and I realize that this is a big no no but I couldn't help but snoop on her Facebook to see what she was like...and turns out she's an actual friggen model. Who is a lot slimmer and prettier than myself. I don't really know what to do but that made me feel even worse, I don't know why because I have no feelings for him anymore I just don't want to be seen as the 'ugly fat ex girlfriend'...So I've fallen back into a bit of a rut, I've started purging which is awful and I'm really ashamed of myself for doing this. I really hate myself when I'm like this. I'm not a pleasant person to be around at the moment and I'm scared of pushing the people I love away but I'm also willing to do anything to loose the weight. I know it's wrong and I don't recommend it for anyone and It makes me feel like a hypocrite because I'm the first person trying to talk people out of the stupidity....I just really don't know what to do.

I'm really sorry for the long message guys and I hope you don't judge me too harshly for this =[

[karategrrl]

As for knocking things off the table...is that why they call them "knockers", LOL?

...

Crossing my fingers...if I get that "flap" effect, I might be the first B cup woman to get a breast reduction, LOL!

LOL!!!

[strongirl]

Hi Kera - you were reading it wrong, or I didn't articulate it very well. He definitely CAN keep his hands off them - he doesn't seem to like them as well as my normal small boobs or he's worried they are sore or something. We haven't really had a conversation about it, too much other life stuff going on. But yeah, no love for my bigger boobs from the bf, which is OK for a short time but if it keeps up we'll need to talk. Cuz big or small, my girls need love and affection!

There really hasn't been much "adjustment", Kera - it just doesn't affect very much in my life. As for knocking things off the table...is that why they call them "knockers", LOL?

Yeah, the menopause thing, sigh. I remember years ago when I was joking with a couple of my older friends about getting a boob job, they said "Don't do it! First of all it will make you look matronly. Second, you're probably going to get stuck with bigger ones anyway when all that estrogen dominance stuff hits you." Or something like that. I thought "Terrific! Bring it on!" Now, not so much.

I've gained a few pounds in the past 6 months but so far holding my own with healthy eating and exercise. The thyroid imbalance didn't help any. But the boob increase isn't just weight gain, it's hormones. My breasts have always varied a lot in response to my monthly cycle. Only now it's not a reliable monthly cycle, so when I skip they just keep getting bigger. I doubt this size is a permanent thing, mostly likely they'll go back down again when I have another period, assuming I do. I sorta hope they do go back down to my normal 34A but it's not a huge deal to me either way.

And Karategrrl, yes, the skin on skin thing....eeecckhh, gives me the heebie jeebies! Happily I still pass the pencil test - they are oddly perky so far. Crossing my fingers...if I get that "flap" effect, I might be the first B cup woman to get a breast reduction, LOL!

[KeraBear]

Strongirl, I was about to say congratulations... but now I guess not so much?? Funny... when i first got here, I was all "I want bigger breasts! I neeeeeeed them!!" But now it's deeper than that. Now I strive to see the beauty in my booblets and myself both inside and out. Don't get me wrong though, I still think it would be nice to have bigger boobs!! And I still have a good number of "bad boobie days" where i just feel like crying, but being here has certainly helped my perspective.

I didn't know that sorta thing happened at menopause. Interesting. You get your period and then grow boobs (that's how it worked for me anyways). You stop getting your period and then grow boobs. hmm...

What has been the biggest adjustment to having your new pair? I always thought that if I suddenly grew boobs overnight, I would knock things over with them, like the salt shaker at the dinner table or something, because I forget they were there. LOL. But it doesn't sound like they are THAT much bigger though, ha ha. What do you mean by your bf cannot keep his hands off from them, but yet is put off by them? Don't those contradict each other? Or was i just reading that wrong?