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> Sex and Long-Term Relationships
midgemcgrath
post Apr 26 2006, 10:22 AM
Post #241


Hardcore BUSTie
***
Posts: 195
From: Vancouver, Canada


missb--

see, i'd really like for it to be like that, but i seriously feel like sometimes i can't just kiss and snuggle with him because then he wants to do it... and he says he likes to just make out, but then when i stop, he seems rejected. and we've actually talked about it, but it's like when we are talking about it he gets it, and then in the actual situation nothing changes!
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treehugger
post Apr 26 2006, 05:42 AM
Post #242


cryostat bitch
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Posts: 1,717


ritzyreese~

I'd vote for the just forget about it and focus on what you have now! You weren't anything official and I certainly wouldn't call it "cheating".

Let bygones be bygones. :-)


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miss_b
post Apr 26 2006, 05:01 AM
Post #243


Newbie
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Posts: 5


Midgemcgrath-
me and Mr B have been together 4 years and only manage it about once a week in a good month. We've found that trying to be more intimate and cuddly, without sex in mind, helps. Also going out and having fun together like when we started dating. I was having trouble relaxing (degree, work, money etc) so I do Yoga and some meditation, and try and view Mr B as a person to relax with not someone who'll stress me out.
It takes time, but I think trying to act/feel like you did when you first fell in love helps. Its helping us so far :-)
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midgemcgrath
post Apr 26 2006, 12:00 AM
Post #244


Hardcore BUSTie
***
Posts: 195
From: Vancouver, Canada


oh my gosh, how did i not find this thread earlier???

gals, it is sooo comforting to know that so many of you are going through the same thing, you wouldn't believe! myself and mr. midge have been together 3.5 years, and have dropped down to 1-2x/wk depending on how busy we are... i know it bothers him somewhat that my drive is not as good as when we first got together, but i have seriously been trying! i have ibs, am on birth control, and am trying to finish my masters degree, and just am not in the mood very much. it would be okay, except when he tries to initiate and i don't feel like it, he takes it really personally. but damn, i can't just turn it on!

has anyone found anything that has helped get more into it after a while?

ps. ritzy--i get sex insomnia too, though not the exact same situation, but often if i have sex right before going to sleep, it totally takes me hours before i can fall asleep...wtf?!
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ritzyreese
post Apr 25 2006, 10:58 PM
Post #245


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My guy and I are about to acknowledge six months of being together. We are celebrating the first time we’d drunkenly made out at a party (shame) as the anniversary date. Following the party night, we had one date and he left town for a week, but we were not considering ourselves ‘official.’ During this week, I stupidly made out with a dude from my past. I’d chosen to forget about this slip-up until my current boyfriend and I are now celebrating the anniversary date as the first time we’d hooked up. Now I am feeling as though I’d been unfaithful to him even though we were not boyfriend/girlfriend at the time. Should I tell him about it and change the date? Should I forget about it, not being a big deal, and love the time that I’m with him now?

Thanks for the reply, Pollystyrene.
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ritzyreese
post Apr 25 2006, 10:58 PM
Post #246


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