[pepper]

fun fun fun! i love when the littles get together and "take care" of each other, it's too cute.

hey, baby pepper is 14 weeks old yesterday, i let her lick a slice of apple today. it's not 'eating' it's just 'tasting'. she just keeps watching me eat and smacking her lips, i couldn't resist. at first she was all like "what the...?!" but then she tried to suck on it, ha ha. no real food for a couple more months though. i wonder when she might start reaching for things, she's so not there yet but they develop so quickly. she can get the thumb consistantly now.

fj, i have this cool foam thing for her to lay on for tummy time that is making a huge difference. she can really hold herself up on it and seems much, much happier!

[moxiegirl]

SO, we had the fun of baBYSITTING the BFF's kidlet last night. What a blast! The two kids (2 mos apart age wise) adore each other, and are SO nice and SO considerate. I have to believe that the whole "taking turns" and "hugs instead of pushes" is a big deal at the daycare, as they both just seemed to know those things. They're in the same class at school, too. Speaking of which, FJ, have you found a great daycare for jackaroo yet?

Taking 2 toddlers to the park, what an experience! Running, jumping, "where is X" games for a solid hour. We had to coax them home when it got dark, and they were NOT thrilled to leave. Then, they fed each other snacks. Seriously. We have it on digital film. As soon as they're up online, I'll post them.

Anyway, this morning, I'm thrilled to be momma and auntie and everything!

[falljackets]

pepper. you could say all the same things about my jackaroo, just change out the pronouns . he is smiling and cooing at me right now from the couch beside me. sometimes we just sit and stare and coo and "sing" at each other for hours. i am so in love with him and am thankful that i'm able to spend so much time with him right now.

the biggest news around here is that he has now spent three nights in his own crib!!! it was so much easier than i thought it would be to make the switch and i think it has something to do with me letting him "play" in the crib for the past month. i think he got comfortable with it, so it's not so unfamiliar when i lay him down. of course, he's usually already asleep when i put him down (the boobiemilk stupor). but last night, when his head hit the mattress, he rolled his eyelids up and looked at me for a second before letting out the cutest sigh and stretching into his comfy sleep position. he sleeps on his side and has pretty much since i brought him home. we were turning him back to his back for the first month or so but he just keeps turning to his side. i guess it's more comfortable for him. anyway, i am just so happy he seems to like the crib.

he is seeming to enjoy his tummy time a lot more this week. i don't know what happened, but maybe it's getting easier for him. i even get smiles from him when he's on his belly and he lasts a lot longer than he was before.

[moxiegirl]

moxette was very much like that, pepper. happy, smilie, only cried when she actually wanted something serious. Now, she's willful stubborn and determined, with a wicked sense of humor. I wonder how princess will be as a toddler? I hope as much of a joy as she is now!

[pepper]

well, i'm not a multitasker either. except i am because i HAVE to be. imagine if the mamas here decided that they couldn't do more than one thing at a time? we'd all be living in filthy disorganized houses with dirty, hungry children.
i'd love to be able to focus intently on one thing at a time. wouldn't that be lovely? le sigh.

(eta not criticising, just amazed and maybe a little jealous. can I be your house husband? )

ok, this girl is thrilling me to pieces. i mean, i love and have always loved little like crazy but sometimes i think some of that is due to trauma bonding 'cause he was such a hard baby. with this girl it is all just cute, sweet, snuggley, cuddley, giggley, fragrant, milky baby love. she is just SO nice! i sit for hours just holding and cooing to her and making her laugh. oh, i will do anything for that hysterical giggle!
today she's watching me eat, intently. eyes glued to the fork moving from plate to mouth. she's so much sooner with everything than with little. girls really are so different, it's amazing.

[grenadine]

the thing is, pepper, he's in school right now, and he is not a multitasker. on the plus side his being in school means we don't really need childcare (and it's hardly worth him getting some crap job that earns as much as childcare costs); if the wild SIL idea were to work, THEN i'd be handing him the want ads so he could work those 15 hours per week! i've considered doing it anyway, and just advertising for a nanny to work those hours in exchange for the (very nice) one-bedroom apartment, but it gets complex when you're talking about someone living with you (what if it didn't work out?).

but yes, definitely handing him the vacuum cleaner more often.


p.s. mox, why is she on your shit list? my SIL is just about the ONLY person in the mister's family (or mine) who's never on my shit list...it's not that we're such great friends, but she's pretty inoffensive.

[grenadine]

yeah, i imagine many SILs are flakes, especially young ones ...my own SIL is the opposite: hardly the life of a party, but i'd trust her with my kids. she's a virgo, and a very conscientious person who currently works full-time at a law firm and also babysits ten hours a week for a toddler and an older child (she's done it since the toddler was newborn), so despite being only 23, she's extremely responsible and with it (the virgo). unfortunately, she's also got that resistance to change/new situations, so even though she doesn't have a girlfriend and has complained of being very lonely, i don't know if she has it in her to move cross-country. it would only be temporary, as she starts grad school next year...we'll see.

[pepper]

gren, hand that man the vacuum cleaner and the help wanted section of the paper. geez. is it too much to expect a little help? you have to import another family member...?
i feel for you girl, you're a trooper.

[moxiegirl]

that sounds like an awesome idea...the SIL. Granted, my SIL loves moxette to pieces, but is a flake (she's kind of on my shit list right now). Anyway, my heart goes out to Busy Moms everywhere. That really blows about the unpaid leave. America sucks sometimes.

[grenadine]

because i am the sole wage-earner for my family. no, i don't get maternity leave, or rather i get unpaid maternity leave, which amounts to the same thing.

and i have always been a busy person, so one thing i'm lucky in is that i adapt better to excessive busyness than many; unfortunately, it plays hell on my creativity.

i'm sort of plotting to convince my sister-in-law to leave mass. and live in our downstairs apt. in exchange for babysitting 15 hours a week. she's going to visit us for three weeks starting saturday. of course, she probably won't go for it as she's a very conservative person and it would mean some risk, but i think it'd be great for her instead of just mouldering about in the same college town where she graduated 2 years ago...plus there are lots of cute lesbians here whom she DIDN'T go to college with.

[moxiegirl]

WHy do you have to be a Busy Parent? Don't you get maternity leave? I don't mean to sound like a twat, but being a Busy Parent is likely to burn you out, ya?

[grenadine]

suzuki, the story behind this thread being in the sex area is that it originally was started by someone with an accidental pregnancy, so she put it here. now it's evolved into being mostly mamas of small people talking about related issues. it probably does really belong in friends and family...it isn't the sexiest thread around, unless you find baby poop sexy, but that's just my opinion.

mox! i know just how you feel. lately i have to keep going for meetings at work and taking crabber (yesterday i took my mom to watch crabber in my office while i Presented Literature Student Learning Goals to the Departmental Quorum). even though the bean is doing his best to infuriate me every afternoon, i always miss him after an hour.

unfortunately, inviting him into bed with me would mean i actually had to go to bed. i was reading something recently that said "nap when your toddler naps! don't be a Busy Parent." but, you see, i am a Busy Parent. i am a classic Busy Parent. i used liberally placed clocks to ensure that i do mentally detach from work and pay attention to the bean, but i am never going to take a nap during nap time because i'm trying to grade papers, assemble research, and vacuum. however, i think i've got a handle on naptime now -- i've been so upset because one way to make him sleep has involved holding him physically still and i don't have either then mindset or the ability (with crabber needing me) to do that. so it's just going to have to work out with him electing to go to bed. at least today i have midday office hours and so the mr. will be the one to deal with his rebellion, although since we're all up extra-early there might not be any...

and i would LOVE to yell, and i don't think it's THAT damaging (i remember my mom occasionally yelling and she is not at all a yelling or angry person), but yelling just causes the bean to YELL BACK at me and generally become Junior Belligerent Ass, which a)shows me how dumb i look yelling and b)doesn't get me anywhere. i HAVE been cursing under my breath a lot, though.

i'm thinking of flying cross-country soon. i am tired of sitting in one place, and the golden baby travel time is under three months, IMHO. after that they start actually being awake more...

[moxiegirl]

suzuki...welcome! we talk pretty much about those two things, so you're in the right place! Now, two things...1. Introduce yourself! Who are you? Kidlets? (there is another mom thread for mom's of older kids...we mostly have infants-preschool here). 2. Read a page or two of the archives (bottom of page up) to get yourself "caught up" so to speak.

Welcome!!

So, last night, I had a work event to attend in the late evening. I stayed downtown, as it was downtown, and by about 7pm, I was missing moxette painfully. Somehow knowing I wasn't going to be home for bedtime made it about 100X worse. I had a great time at the event, but I also rushed home afterwards. This doesn't happen when I give myself the night "off"...dinner with a girlfriend, shopping alone, etc. I think it was the missing bedtime.

Gren, sometimes we do just have to yell. You don't have to be perfect to your own standards of perfection all the time. You're dealing with SO much, and you're a superwoman for not wanting to change your reactions to the bean's current behavior. Maybe invite him to nap in bed with you and crabber? Or insist on "quiet time" for 2 hours, even if he doesn't sleep?

[suzukibeane]

hi all,

what, exactly, do we talk about in this thread? I am a mama and i have sex, sometimes...

[grenadine]

again, good luck to you, anoushh! you might consider going standby on an earlier flight to SF if you're worried about connection time -- when i was flying up the coast 2x/week i frequently did this and almost always got on, although it's worth checking, of course.

bean is still being a true crapweasel, resisting naps and throwing everything. i'm at wit's end and trying not to throw *him*, or at least scream at him, which i currently feel like doing. crabber is fussy. i am tired and my sense of humour has gone missing.

[kiss_the_fiddler]

shiny,
how'd lil's procedure go?
fiddler

[anoushh]

I appreciate your thoughts, Aquagirl. My worry is in part because he's almost a year old and it will be hard for him to not be able to crawl around for such a long time. First we fly to SF--just over an hour. Then we change planes and fly to London, which will take nearly 12 hours. We are going to stay at a hotel for the first couple of days before we head off into the midlands.

I so wish we could use the carseat that fits in the stroller. He was too big for that by about 6.5 months, though. That's why it will be such a pain in the ass to get around.

And he resists sleep so much--and no sleep has such a bad effect on me--that I'm really worried about that. I guess we'll manage somehow. Once we get settled I know he'll be fine, though.

And he hasn't been interested in his swing since about 4months old--he wants to be out and about!
Until then it was great, though.

I hope this trip won't bankrupt us. The sterling/dollar exchange rate is worse than ever. Thank god I still have a bit of money in a UK bank. (Though after this trip who knows...)

Ok, should be working. Tons to do and so little time.

But in a "boy, that sucks" note--I don't ahve enough vacation time yet to cover my being gone. This means I will most likely be health-insurance free for the month of november...

[aquagirl3]

Hi all,
Grady's only 12 weeks and I've already taken 2 plane trips with him, one of them alone! That was not fun. But it made the second one, with my husband, seem like paradise by comparison. It actually went pretty well. On this last one, we were renting a car for a week, so we brought and checked the carseat and base. We checked the stroller also (it's the kind that the carseat snaps onto). In the airport, I wore the baby Bjorn. I bring the Boppy on the plane--it is SO worth it to carry that along! It makes nursing so much easier, then he just falls asleep on it, I can still read comfortably, and we use it for a pillow throughout the trip for ourselves sometimes too.
I do NOT understand how people change babies on planes unless you have an empty seat. I have changed him on an empty seat, but other times, just did it in the airport before and after the flight. But how do you do it if your flight is a truly long one??? Dunno. My sister lives in New Zealand and has come back and forth to the US with her 1 year old THREE TIMES now, ALONE. a walking toddler! For 14 hours! Alone! I would kill myself first. I seriously don't know how she did it.
Plan ahead carefully, packing the diaper bag with everything you will need, especially extra burp cloths and at least 2 extra outfits, and don't forget PLASTIC BAGS. If you breastfeed, I HIGHLY RECOMMEND bringing pumped bottles with you--they are a lifesaver in the car, when you can't stop to nurse, and also so much easier to deal with in the airport. Breastfeeding on the plane (with the Boppy) is comfortable and easy, but I didn't want to do it in the airport--too much of a pain in the butt for lots of reasons.
I have another trip with him next week, and then next month for Thanksgiving! I feel like Angelina dragging my kid around all over the place...but it's not so hard when he's still so little. I also feel like Angelina because I look exactly like her and my husband is Brad Pitt.
OH, another thing we did: this may sound extreme, and I scoffed at my husband when he first suggested it, but it turned out to be easy and SO worth it. Grady LOVES the swing. Sometimes when he's fussy, he prefers it even to being held, and sometimes in the early morning, it is a godsend to calm him when he is wiggly and gassy and grunty. When I went on the first trip alone, it was a real problem not having a swing at my mom's house. He didn't nap nearly as long, and was much harder to deal with. So, on this last trip, I went on Craigslist for Seattle where we were flying and bought a swing for $20. I found a guy who lived right near the airport, planning to go there on our way out, and he actually brought the swing to us at the airport! We brought it to the 3 different places we stayed on the trip and it was SO WORTH IT! Then, the day we left, we left it at the hotel and told the manager to lend it out to other people with babies who passed through. I am DEFINITELY doing this again on our next trips. There were so many swings for sale for next to nothing, and it's not like the quality or beauty matters too much for something you're only using for a week or so.

Anyway...off to unpack. Hope some of this advice was helpful.
Baby is jet-lagged! Ugh.

[kiss_the_fiddler]

shiny,
you want me to go with you tomorrow?
fiddler

[shinyx3]

ok, today is hubby's b-day and he is hopefully having a grand time in the swiss alps with his science buddies (he is there to speak at a conference). but i can hardly wait till he gets home. not only do i miss him but i am wearing out on doing everything by my self. it must be crazy hard to be a single mom of two kids. shinyboy is very helpful when i ask him to be but he has a busy schedule with school, tae kwondo, violin, and soccer. those activities take a fair bit of running around and with lil crabby from the antibiots it can be pretty tiring. let alone the lack of sleep factor. also, i am craving adult conversation.

tomorrow lil has his voiding cystourethrogram and i am not at all looking forward to going to that without hubby. and, if there is anything wrong i just have to email him about it. i can't even call. and it is not like this is the only meeting he is going to be gone to either. he is going to san diego next month and to tokyo in dec and back to d.c. in feb. aaarrrgg!

ok, end bitch session.