[lapis]

Hi moms,
I just wondered if some of you had really quiet newborns who probably would sleep through the night if given the chance. She has good color and isn't really lethargic but just seems really chill. I mean, i thought she would cry all the time...maybe later?

[moxiegirl]

Well, since we had moxette in her crib/room at 3 weeks old...we've never had sex with her in the same room. That being said, I'd say once they don't sleep through everything. I'd hate to wake a kid up.

Aqua...that is a HUGE milestone for the family. Good luck! I had many a 3,5,7 and 10 minute seperated posts here at 2-5 AM when we were transitioning from every 2-3 hours eating/coming whenever called to learning to self-sooth. Like all else in life, it is a skill. And its a skill more easily learned by some rather than others.

Car...moxette is a rough and tumble kid, too...and a biter in the same way. Tonight, very excited, CHOMP into daddy. He firmly told her no biting, which made her cry (she genuinely gets upset). I asked her if she bit daddy, she nodded. I said, why don't you go draw daddy a picture to make him feel better. Dude...totally worked. I get big momma points for that one. Generally, (and this is also what they do at daycare with 12 1-2 yr olds), we tell her biting isn't nice, and to go give whomever she bit a hug instead. Usually works like a charm.

ETA...I meant to get on here and congratulate lapis! 40 hours! I hear you! WOW!

[shinyx3]

wow lapis! congrats to you and your girly

[anoushh]

Yes, congratulations indeed.

Look forward to seeing you around here.

[aquagirl3]

CONGRATULATIONS!

[lapis]

Hi all, I am officially a mama! She was born at home last friday--after 40+ hours. I am still recovering but loving her...See you soon!

[aquagirl3]

Thanks for the input...I think I've just been really freaked that it was so abrupt, with no tapering off whatsoever. Well now, after 2 nights of waking up every hour and a half, I've decided if he's changing things up, I'm going to too. Soooo...NO MORE SWING FOR NAPS! NO MORE CO-SLEEPER FOR NIGHTTIME! Now he is in his actual crib! He cried for a long time, with me checking on him and feeding him in the middle, this morning, and then eventually napped for half an hour...now, he is napping after only about 10 minutes of crying. This is huge! I'm going to be firm this time. I'm ready to make it stick.

One time, I looked in and he had wiggled over to the side and his face was pressed against the bumper! It scared me! I moved him back, but what do you do about crib bumpers in the middle of the night??

Another question. Not that I have ever done this or ever considered doing it. But hypothetically, how old would a baby be before you wouldn't want to have sex in the same room as him or her? My friend wants to know.

[tart]

If it's any consolation Anoushh, Tartlet still cries when we drop him off at his grandparents' for the day, and when I drop him off at DCP - not when Daddy-o drops him off, mind you, just me And you have my utmost empathy re: a dynamic baby... Consider it a sign that you didn't rot his brain & have a strong-willed, intelligent little guy who will likely not be one to just sit back & let life happen... We had a lot of success in house-proofing the baby, vs baby-proofing the house - we put a lot of energy into setting boundaries in terms of what he was & wasn't allowed to touch/do, and gave lots & lots of feedback (heaps of praise/physically removing him from the no-no areas & redirecting). I know you're flying solo a lot of the time, so this may not be as practical a solution for you, but it's paying off in spades for us now.

So. We have 4 molars! Woot! Looks like they finally just came in all at once, after how many weeks of low-grade crappiness... We also had our 18-month check-up last week, and weighed in at a truly embarrassing 23 pounds - we slipped down another percentile to 15th, despite shoveling anything we can into his tiny belly... Fortunately New Doc is in no way distressed, and just encouraged us to keep up the good food & whole milk... looks like we're destined for a stringbean, at least until puberty.

So very very close to weaning. The added teeth are making it uncomfortable for both of us, and I've started rocking him back to sleep the rare times he wakes in the night... he's not happy about it, but it's only taking 5-10 minutes to get him back to sleep, instead of the 45 it used to take, so it feels like progress. On the wait list for several daycare centers now - current DCP is just spending too much time ferrying other kids around, and not enough time getting Tartlet the exercise & stimulation he needs. It'll be at least 6 months before we can get him placed anywhere else, but at least we have a game plan...

Work is taking up way too much of my time & energy, but Tartman just scored a hot new job with the local college, so there is now the option for me to start looking elsewhere... I'd really like to get back int eh food industry, but it's not kind to family dynamics, so we'll see...

Love to all my mamas - just 'cause I never post doesn't mean I don't lurk & check up on y'all

[grenadine]

yay for your own house! hope you find something great on the housing search.

a word of advice: i would visually inspect all areas, especially exterior closets/walls, damper areas, etc. for mold. also worth considering whether the ground slopes toward or away from the foundation -- ground that slopes toward the foundation directs water into it, creating a drainage issue. might be worth having a mold inspector/drainage contractor do an inspection if you make an offer -- given that you're in the pacific NW, land of rain and rain.

i took the bean to his playschool today. he was almost ok when i left (he's getting more assertive and liking it more and more) but then his face kind of crumpled and he said, "want mama to come back!" i'm trying to spend quality time with just him at least a little every day, but it's hard with the other demands. man, how i envy those mythical 50's housewives with their ability to dedicate themselves to ONE job!

miss crabber enjoys eating constantly. actually, she'll eat constantly for two hours, then sleep for two. not such a bad deal but tough when my dept. is hounding me to come up with a syllabus for the new course i'm designing, i have 75 papers to grade, and the bean needs "mama time" so he doesn't feel neglected or resentful. not to mention the vacuuming! i've realised the real issue is not that other people aren't willing to vacuum (the mr does it when i asked and the SIL did it unbidden this week!) but that they don't do a good job. gah.

[car]

Aqua, I totally agree w/the other mommas...totally normal. I remember with both kids, as they got bigger they a) nursed faster and got much more distracted by other things. This was often to my embarrassment when nursing publicly, as they would be latched and discreet, then suddenly WHOOM! they would snap their head to look at something and I'd be quickly trying to cover up.

Anoush, I can totally hear you on the "wow, that is reassuring" and "whoa, so this is the lot we carry" feeling. Been there, done that.....but I do wish you luck on the transition to a new home!

Bones is an incredibly strong (both physically and stubbornly), active kid -- he pushes at the playground, throws toys, and bites. Not all the time, but when he is tired or frustrated, he does. We also call him BamBam, because he has brute strength and lifts things that his big brother definitely could not. I love how physical he is in some ways (he can manipulate objects and has incredible dexterity), but I also shudder with embarrassment when he gets rough with other kids. I mean, he's 18 months old, and we are doing everythign we can to thwart those behaviors, but he's obviously not mature enough to understand consequences. We never experienced this with Coop, who has always been mild-mannered and more cerebral than his brother.

[anoushh]

That's a really good point, Mox. He sounds right on schedule, doesn't he.

Ok, one thing I learned on our trip (or should I say, was reminded or reassured)--where I was suddenly around a lot of babies--was that it's not my imagination. Notbob is a lot harder work than a lot of babies. He's way more active, more energetic, more "busy," resists sleep, sleeps less well, more into things, etc, etc, etc. And who knew babies were so STRONG?

In some ways I find this reassuring--ie, that I'm not just a weenie of a parent.

In some ways of course it's discouraging, too. I'm really hoping that if we can get into our own house things will be a bit easier. At least then we can childproof more rooms so I'm not having to spend the whole time running after him every single second.

And right now he's at daycare for the first time in a while. I stayed with him for a while to adjust, which helped. (He cried as soon as we pulled into the parking lot. He totally remembered.) Of course he cried when I left, which is killing me. I'm sure he's fine now, but I'm not.

Only a bit longer now, though. *sigh*

[moxiegirl]

aqua...we bottle fed moxette, but somewhere right around 4 mos she went from "eat anywhere" to "distracted everywhere". It got to the point where even for mid-day, non napping bottles we had to do the quiet room, quiet place routine just to get her to eat. Its normal. Suddenly, and for the first time in his life, somethings besides the boob are super cool. Like his own hand. Or a toe.

[anoushh]

What Gren said. He'll tell you if his needs change again and he needs more, but for now he sounds just fine.
It can be hard to get used to those abrupt changes, but it keeps happening, so use this as practice!

[grenadine]

aqua, don't worry! they get WAY more efficient timewise as they get older (with nursing). also, he has just passed the fussy first three months, so he may just not need the sucking the way he used to. if he's pooping and you're not getting mastitis, it's all good. stop desperately trying to make him nurse longer and start desperately trying to find a replacement for that long reading time!

[aquagirl3]

"I'm NAKED! Now we can PLAY!"
That's funny, I say that to my husband all the time.
Another funny kid line: my friend's 4 year old said to a waitress yesterday, "When I get big I'm going to have LOTS OF BABIES! Babies STACKED UP TO THE CEILING! I'm going to be having babies all over the place!"

I need help...Grady has gone from nursing for 30-40 minutes to 5-10 TOTAL, switching back and forth, trying desperately to keep him on as he tries to pull off. It was totally abrupt and he's been doing it for 5 days. He appears to be satisfied in between feedings, and still has enough poopy diapers, but it boggles my mind that it would be so abrupt. It worries me. And now I feel bad for wishing he would hurry up with nursing. I can't believe I used to have to have books, phone, magazines, remote control stacked high before I could even think about nursing...now it's just tense and anxious and I'm stressed and trying to keep him on..he certainly sucks hard and I can hear him swallowing...but isn't this TOO fast??? And why so abrupt? There was no slow decrease in duration at all.

We have stopped giving him bottles, because several learned opinions have suggested that the bottle is too easy for him to use, and he might be growing to prefer them.

Any reassurance for an anxious mommy? (Oh, he's almost 4 months now)

[pepper]

oh shiny, you have my little as a baby! seriously, cried ALL the time, non-stop, nothing worked to get him to Shut Up! and he never slept. ever.

it passes my girl. the first three years aged me ten but he's awesome now. snatch a catnap whenever you can and leave the dishes be, they'll still be there later on and you might even have the energy to do them after a snooze.

oh mamas, i dream of a utopia where each new birth gets you assigned a temporary help-mate, gov't issue, who does all that crap and lets you rest up. if only...

eta, i'm at the library, my computer crashed so i won't be around much for a while. so sad. some days you are my only company! i'll miss you *sniff sniff*.

[shinyx3]

sadly he hates the front snuggly. i can put him in a sling for fairly short periods of time though. if it stops raining i will pack him up in the car and find a good trail to walk on. i have decided that sleepis totally over rated any way. i should probably look for a sitter too. that would make me more sane.

[grenadine]

gnomes with diapers!


yeah, the SIL thing will be interesting. at the very least it will give the mr more diversified responsibilities (i.e. a job) and us the opportunity to go out on a date once a month, which would be about 6x as often as we have been going. plus in spring i'm teaching the same night we have our coop meetings, so she'll be a big help with that as we won't have to find an outside sitter. plus she thinks the bean is hilarious. (of course, the bean IS hilarious. quote of the morning: "I'm NAKED! Now we can PLAY!!")

i got the bean several pairs of awesome striped tights. his new outfit is long shorts, striped tights, and brown ankle boots. very 19c schoolboy, minus the suspenders.

we're finally pushing potty training. basically, the bean is totally trained if he's not wearing pants. if he's wearing pants he goes in his diaper. so starting today, he's not wearing a diaper; he's wearing underpants. i'm expecting that after he's peed his pants a few times (we're just calmly changing them, no negative reaction) he'll figure out that it's not THAT onerous to take off his pants before using the potty. when we have success at home we'll try it in the world...

meanwhile, crabber gets her chinese name this weekend at the one-month party. i'm naming her after madame chiang (kai-shek), who was kind of badass.

shiny, don't be so hard on yourself! you can always go walking with the baby (both of mine love that). and there will be time to work out when you're more caught up on sleep. (and how is lil if you wear him? i always get good results by just putting the baby in a front pack; you can cook, walk, clean the house...)

i walked to the store the other day with the bean on my back (in carrier) and the baby on my front (in snugli). the bean loved it. we were like a giant turtle!

[shinyx3]

omg gren, working out is soooo good for my mood. i am having rather low self esteem and being able to do something about the baby fat sure helps.

we are in a fussy week. lil has been extra needy. wants to be held all the time. screams when i put him down to do anything. haven't really gotten much done this week. we have spent a fair amount of time driving around because he likes that. last night i was so tired and cranky myself by the time the mr. got home, it was pretty much a recipe for an instant fight. fortunately we apologized so the evening was not bad. i can't figure out what is up with lil though. he doesn't seem to feel bad, just fussy when i put him down. i am willing to let him cry too for a short period of time if i know that nothing is wrong. (not wet, hot/cold, hungry etc.) but only occasionally does this end up in anyything other hthen him crying the whole time and me cring the whole time then going to get him again. i am hoping for a better day today.

[moxiegirl]

Yeah! for SIL mocving out there! I think that should help, even if its just for non-attached child time.

This morning, moxette insisted on putting diapers on all her stuffed animals. I'm imagining a gnome inspired winter.