[Vendetta]

I know and we all know that these breast issues don't make sense. Of course I shouldn't have them because I'm the one he loves and I'm the one he has chosen to stay with and bla bla. He can't say he's a man to whom breast size doesn't matter because he has been attracted only to bigger before he met me. He once said small breasts didn't attract him. So, he's obsessed with breasts, as he has once said too, how come he's not obsessed with mine? I am a big turn on to him, no doubt about it, but breasts are not included? He can point out at a porn star and say that those huge saggy breasts are his type of breasts and I have to be alright with that? He can drool over beyonce's side-boob-bounce at "a beautiful liar" videoclip and say "shakira's fine but doesn't have boobs" and I have to be alright with that. He can tell me to take 5 boxes of bc pill for my boobs to grow or make fun of me "you're so happy you've gained side-boob" when I wasn't even thinking that I already had "side-boob". He can say that if I'm a headache being this good-looking, I would be a nightmare with boobs. Is that supposed to be a compliement? He doesn't get why I freaked out, after 9 or 10 months living these kind of situations? He doesn't get why I can't get undressed now in front of him. This was the way my head found to self-protect itself, if I feel like shit when having sex with him, then I don't want to. I lost my libido. Shit, I'm sick.

[honeybunch]

My boyfriend doesn't like how I feel about my breasts either. He hates when we even get on that subject. He swears they are fine, but he doesn't pay much attention to them. He says I have a self-esteem problem. I admitted that I do have body image issues. He once threatened to start askin random people what they think about my breasts since according to him I care so much about what people think. We haven't had much sex lately, and I'm sure he doesn't think how I feel about my breasts is a turn on.

What really gets me is that he just doesn't seem to get why I would feel self-conscious. This is a guy who occasionally reads Maxim and Playboy and who has hung around porn stars with very big boobs and VIP rooms. Hmmmm... Can you say dense?

[neurotic.nelly]

Vendetta, relationships are just so hard to begin with. Do you really love him?? He shouldn't have said those things to you in the first place! Sounds like your in a rock and a hard place.

[Vendetta]

I know. I have been a "sex queen" my whole sex life, without the boobs. But now I can't, I'm obsessed. We didn't have sex that night and had only on the next morning with me feeling terrible, as it has been the last few times. We argued and almost broke up. I can't forgive and forget and that is costing me my relationship. Shit.

[neurotic.nelly]

Vendetta, have a good sexy time tonight with your bf!!! you deserve it!!! remember, sexy is a state of mind, it doesn't come from the boobs. Once you've got this in your consciousness, it'll exude from you like an irresistible aroma, that no man can resist.

[Vendetta]

So here I am getting dressed up for a hot night with the boyfriend, since the relationship has been so bad that we have got to plan that... and I pick up my favorite bra that I bought when was a 5-months-A-cup and stopped using since deflation... And I look into the mirror, terrified. There's air all over the place. I look like a 12-year-old. Well, I tried, but I have to give that bra away... I know I have other good assets but geez... getting sexy without the boobs is plain hard...

[neurotic.nelly]

karategrrl, that tiger striped bra and thong - hot!

ditto on the sales lady being a straight bee-atch! *rolls eyes*

Back to what I was saying earlier, "small breasts are all too often fetishized with preteen or barely legal material".

This can kinda work in my favor, as I like to dress in a preppy punk school girl look or (no prep or punk) regular school girl look that accentuates my more womanly curves of my legs and bottom or the sexy tomboy. Think skirt with knee high socks and mary-jane shoes with any kind of top you like that match the socks. Or japanese school girl look or the gothic lolita look.

If you have something that is considered a "negative" (not really, but you know what I mean - lil boobies rule!!) then turn it into a sexy positive. You can play with your looks! I do not dress like this all the time, but sometimes. Its fun and sexy!

[karategrrl]

http://www.campaignforrealbeauty.com/dsef07/t5.aspx?id=7380

OMG, that quiz--and especially the short film right after--were incredible. WOW. Thanks for sharing!!

[Vendetta]

http://www.campaignforrealbeauty.com/dsef07/t5.aspx?id=7380

[honeybunch]

this morning i teased my bf that he was probably watching (porn) girls with big tits, and he probably was, which is why he got mad at me. the amount of porn out there is astounding. small breasts are all too frequently fetishized (sp?) with preteen or barely legal material. *more later on this i have to get ready for work!!!*

That must be why everyone thinks I'm 16. Hmmm...

I do hate how some people equate bigger breasts with being more womanly. Grrrrrrrr!

[starship]

woah i've missed alot

you all rock. boobies or not
*gets reading*...

[karategrrl]

Your hubby sounds super-sweet! What brand was the bra you found?

He has his moments.

It was a Candie's bra, and it was in what looked like the teen-to 20-something section.

No, that sales lady was definetely not cool! "Bee-atch" is more like it!! And, like, seriously, SO many bras out there say "A cup" or "AA cup" or whatever but they just are NOT for that size breast, case closed. WTF??!!

[edie52]

Great, karategrrl. Your hubby sounds super-sweet! What brand was the bra you found?

When I get a bit more money I'm going to go down to the big dep't store here and look at the Calvin Klein bras, and also ask the saleslady if they carry any AA bras, or if she knows which brands make smaller-cut A cups. And I will stress that I DO NOT want to be pointed toward the teen section (not that there's anything wrong with shopping there... but I've had a bra lady smirk and tell me to go there and look at training bras, not cool).

[karategrrl]

the amount of porn out there is astounding. small breasts are all too frequently fetishized (sp?) with preteen or barely legal material.

True on both counts! The only women I've seen w/body types similar to mine (besides Lou Dillion) are on those "teen fetish" sites. When I actually was a teen, I was harassed like crazy on the street by men. Ugh.


Cute story: I went bra shopping yesterday at a dept. store (to try and find "grown up" bras rather than my usual teen bras). I actually found a cool tiger-striped bra and thong set that FIT ME!! (Even more shocking is that I also managed to NOT fall into any negative thinking like I usually do when looking at my torso in the dressing room mirror. I am proud of myself for that. I credit my "positive thinking" of late.)

But I digress...Anyway, I got home and showed hubby my find. I said, "I actually found something sexy in my size!" To which he replied, "Your size IS the sexiest size!"

He got a big kiss for that!!!!!!

[neurotic.nelly]

karategrrl, i only found the trailer on google video, and then there were some other snippets, but it looks good, similar to 'the secret'. if you've seen "the secret", i think it is worth noting that someone got cut out of the finished version, there are two version floating around out there in the world. esther hicks and abraham got cut out bc of legal differences. she channels a group of beings that claim to be co-creating with us. strange and beautiful, but you can google her or look her up on youtube. she is more "la-la-spacey" than louis hay!

back to small boobies,

vendetta, you are laughing out loud! yay! you either laugh or cry about this kinda thing.

this morning i teased my bf that he was probably watching (porn) girls with big tits, and he probably was, which is why he got mad at me. the amount of porn out there is astounding. small breasts are all too frequently fetishized (sp?) with preteen or barely legal material. *more later on this i have to get ready for work!!!*

[Vendetta]

This girl from my class says she's an A cup and she hardly wears any bra... no wonder I'm an AA cup, that is a lot of breast tissue comparing to me! lol

[karategrrl]

Thanks! Glad it was helpful. Thanks for the tip about Google video!!

I'll share a tip, too: I find great deals on CDs, DVDs and books at www.half.com. Dont' know if they ship outside the U.S., though.

[neurotic.nelly]

I know this is a little off-topic and maybe a bit "la-la spacey," but I've been feeling much more comfortable in my own skin from what I'm learning from the movie/book/CD and I thought someone else here might find it useful as well.

You are right on topic! We are talking about self-esteem here, and Louis Hay is the queen of positive self talk and affirmations, it's a shame that the masses find this kind of thing hokey, or "la-la spacey", but hey it's their loss. I did not know there was a "kit" or that there was a movie. *logs off and goes to google video to find it* Thanks karategrrl.

[karategrrl]

If your views of breasts are skewed by looking only at your own in the mirror, then comparing them to the ones in popular media or porn...

OMG, you are so right, strongirl. Thanks for the reminder! I really need to keep this in mind. We should be careful who who compare ourselves to...not that, of course, we should be comparing ourselves to anyone at all.


On a somewhat unrelated topic, I've been meaning to mention here a really great thing I discovered that's doing a lot to improve my self-esteem, including the breast issue. I happened upon a movie called "You Can Heal Your Life" by Louise Hay. It made such an impression on me that I went and bought the book and then the affirmation kit, which has an audio CD in it, which I've been listening to in my car during my commute. It's kind of hard to explain without it sounding hokey and contrived, but it's about how to change and improve your life by replacing all those self-depreciating thoughts with positive ones. It's like recognizing that those self-fulling negative prophecies actually do come true so you might as well replace them with positive ones. It's not like saying, "I have a million dollars," and "poof!" there it is, but more about recognizing that your thoughts, words and attitudes have power and when you align them with the way the Universe works, you really can feel better, have a better life, etc.

I know this is a little off-topic and maybe a bit "la-la spacey," but I've been feeling much more comfortable in my own skin from what I'm learning from the movie/book/CD and I thought someone else here might find it useful as well.

[strongirl]

I love your jacuzzi story, karategrrl!

I have spent many happy hours at baths and clothes-optional hot springs (in both women-only and mixed gender settings) and I sincerely recommend it to anyone who wants to improve their body image issues. Most clothes-optional hot springs are NOT about sex or hooking up but are family-friendly environments that emphasize BODY ACCEPTANCE. It is wonderful to see people of all ages, shapes, sizes, and colors feeling comfortable in their own skin. It is wonderful to see nude bodies in a natural, casual setting, not just used as meat for the marketing mill. If your views of breasts are skewed by looking only at your own in the mirror, then comparing them to the ones in popular media or porn, then go to a clothes-optional hot springs, I urge you. You'll see a much greater range of sizes/shapes than you ever knew existed. And no one makes a big deal out of it. It's very enlightening and uplifting (no pun intended)! Celebrate diversity!