[Aithinne]

"When I reacted from that insecure place, he had no room to be down, grumpy, un-sexual or angry without triggering me to have a self-esteem crash, which felt to him like he had to suppress his problems. That wasn't fair to him."

VERY good point strongirl... We should all think very long and hard on those words of wisdom. Surely no guy would want to be emotionally intimate with you if he felt like he couldn't express himself without opening up a can of worms that really has nothing to do with his problem.

[strongirl]

Buttercups, in the earlier years of our relationship my bf and I had fights where I reacted like that. Not so much thinking it was my tits per se but having the suspicion that he was picking a fight with me so we'd break up and he could be with someone younger, hotter, cuter, prettier, thinner, bustier...I have a whole laundry list of things that my "insecure self" thinks compare badly to other chicks. After voicing that to him a couple times, with his patience and excellent ability to communicate. he was finally able to get across to me that that viewpoint was really quite self-centered and immature on my part. After that I'd remind myself to really listen when he was upset and try to see it from his point of view and to tell myself "Everything is NOT about your looks, silly girl!" When I reacted from that insecure place, he had no room to be down, grumpy, un-sexual or angry without triggering me to have a self-esteem crash, which felt to him like he had to suppress his problems. That wasn't fair to him. Now we've gotten pretty good about letting conflicts really be what they're about.

Of course it's harder to do when you're drunk (been there, too). You'll get there. You're further along than I was at your age, by a long shot. Sending you positive energy and hoping this is just a minor bump in the road for you.

[lightchested]

Buttercups-

I have been in your position so many times!!! Not EXACTLY your position...it wasn't always due to being in a fight because I don't generally get in any arguments, but I can't count how many times I've thought that men would not be able to resist me if I were armed with the full arsenal of woman parts.

I feel for you. I've been there so many times.\ I HATE THAT FEELING!

I don't know what to tell you because I'm still not above having that happen to me. It just happens to not be happening right now. My sister has hugees and from what she tells me, they do live a charmed life, the boobed. If they are the boobed, what are we? The unboobed? Sometimes I get so negative.

Okay, this surely isn't helping.

You and I both know he was mad. He was probably shocked that you 'turned it into' (as he'll call it) a boob thing. But I so see how you did! I would too. It's such a horrible feeling to have your womanhood rejected. And that's what it feels like, doesn't it? But surely he'll say that's NOT what he was rejecting!!!

We are sensitive. We make connections they don't make.

Still I can't help but wonder how would it be if we had big ones? Would that have gone differently? Sometimes I just don't know. I'm sure guys have the best of intentions when they tell us "it has nothing to do with that!" and they might even think they mean it, but honestly, do they really know how they'd have reacted if we had big ones?

Who knows.

But here's the good news: he loves something about you because he's with you. He probably loves a lot of things about you! He may even love THEM. It is very possible. I do see how small ones can be great.

In fact, here is a song for you:
Lil Diddies

click on it

[buttercups]

Thanks so much ladies, ugh I was feeling so good but then again I do experience setbacks like you say edie52. I went out tonight and got a little tipsy and I'm a pretty happy drunk, but somehow me and my bf got in a fight. I stupidly tried to use my feminine wiles to win him back and have passionate hot makeup sex- but he was having no part in it. I was all dressed up and feeling pretty decent about myself, but anytime I would try to come-on to him he would just push me away, nothing worked. I know that he was mad at me and maybe I should just take this to mean that he's not a sleaze-bag who just wants to have sex, but instead I had to make it all about my body and my breasts most of all. My playful mood was soon turned after being pushed away for the 50th time and I got really angry and started yelling at him that he must not be attracted to me. Then I went on some crazy girl rant about how if I had big boobs I'm sure he'd be all over me and because I have none of that good stuff to force in his face I must be easy to reject. I demanded he bring me home and was almost in tears- it must have been a mix of the alcohol and everything but part of me really does believe that if I only had at least something more than these AA's I could get him to want me even if hes in his most pissed-off mood. He dropped me off at my house and I stormed out of the car even though he was calling me to stop and talk and so here I am now. ugh i hate how insecure i can be at times. I just wanted him to be unable to resist me I guess, even if he was mad. I just want to be like every other woman who easily has the upper hand and can properly seduce a man. I'm sure once I fully sober up I'll have a different take on this, but when I get rejected I instantly blame it on the boobs (though i should blame it on the booze like the jamie foxx song...). anyways, im gonna try to go to bed and not talk to him til tomorrow. I still want to keep it positive and I'm trying so hard not to hate my body- so no one think I gave up! I hope someday I can be as inspiring to someone as you all have been to me. And I can already say those pics of Milla are cheerin me up a little bit already. Bet she can woo any man without shoving anything in his face...

[edie52]

Oh, and congrats, buttercups! You're really coming into your own very quickly! Even if you do experience setbacks, you've made so much headway that you'll be able to get through it. I hope your relatives are getting the message that it's NOT OKAY to make comments like that, because they're generally hurtful to women and specifically to you.

[edie52]

I love Milla Jovovich's look and her confidence. She already appeared/posed nude a bunch of times. NSFW!

hi
dude
bombshell

[purplestain]

All the guys I know are going nuts because the GORGEOUS Milla Jovovich supposedly gets naked in The Perfect Getaway. Now, I'm not saying you should go out and see the movie, because it looks terrible, but let's add another one to the small-hotties list.
http://wallpaperbase.com/wallpapers/celebs...jovovich_10.jpg
http://chud.com/articles/content_images/5/millajovovich.jpg
http://mytakes.files.wordpress.com/2009/07...red-dress-2.jpg

[crinoline]

that's awesome, buttercups! It's good to see you be so positive!!

I went to the beach recently with a group of friends and all of us were A or AA cups. I kept looking around and thinking how beautiful the other girls looked in their bikinis (I'm still sticking to my one piece though lols). We definitely caught some male attention too (not that that's the point, but it was nice to be appreciated). My boyfriend kept saying how happy he was to "show me off". It was nice to see small breasts on all different body types too.

((((good booby vibes for all))))

[angie_21]

((buttercups)) super-awesome! good for you, and I hope you had lots of fun!

It could have been one of us in that bikini that you guys defended, lol (not me, sadly I was working all last week *sigh*)

[strongirl]

Yippee, Buttercups! I can't tell you how beautiful and inspirational it is to read of your beach vacation and freshly pumped up self-esteem and small-booby appreciation! That is just truly awesome!!! I am doing the happy dance for you. That you can see those other hot girls with small breasts and appreciate them, and that you can resonate with that and appreciate your own lovely body, is just...beautiful!

It's late and I'm tired but a quick story to share that sort of connects with your beach experience and the recent comments in here re. implants. I was running on the beach and passed a couple walking hand in hand. She was very dolled up and had very large implants. And her freakin' bf was gawking at me! To the point that it was totally obvious and obnoxious and as I passed them, I saw her give him a hurt and upset look. I wanted to just smack the shit out of him. I felt like saying "Look what this girl has done to herself to keep your eyes on her and you can't even give her the courtesy of not ogling other girls on the beach. Asshole!" And at the same time I felt like geez, thank heaven I've never gone for the implants cuz if I did and then my bf was ogling a small-breasted girl looking like I used to look like, I'd just be totally demoralized and bummed out.

[buttercups]

Hey ladies, I just got back from the beach and I have a couple stories. I went in prepared for the worst and I guess that was the way to go because it went pretty damn well. We first got to our rented house and there was a scale in the bathroom. I havent weighed myself in ages and I've been running a lot lately so I thought what the hell and jumped on the scale. It read 95 lbs. At first I was pretty shocked bc who the hell weighs 95 lbs at 25?? It seemed kind of disturbing. But then I thought to myself "well how big do you expect my boobs to be at 95 lbs?!" and I sort of dropped the usual blame on myself that I carry for having such tiny AA cups. I mean if i'm smaller than everyone else at the beach they cant expect my boobs to be as big as theirs right? I felt a little better about myself.

Then I put on my padded VS bikini and hit the beach. You girls would be happy to hear what I saw there- there were more hot small-boobed chicks than I've ever seen before! There were more sexy women with A cups or smaller walking around than even more average C or B cups! They made me want to tear out my padding and flaunt these AAs with pride. There was even one instance where there was a girl whose breasts were at least as teeny as mine and she was wearing this gorgeous bandeau halter bikini- and she looked goooood! We were all sitting on the beach and I commented that I liked her bathing suit. My mom and sister were like "no, it only draws attention to the fact that shes flat" and with everyone and my bf right there I said , " well i think she looks hot and having small breasts is NOT a flaw!"- everyone shut up then : )

I did not feel inadequate most of the time. I felt cute and I'm lovin my new fitter body -even if my chest is small. I still wore padding around my family all week, but I didnt let everyones big boobs rattle my confidence. Im a tiny girl, i got tiny breasts, what more do people want or expect from me? I guess seeing my weight was kind of like a reality check that I desperately needed. But I did see girls of all shapes and sizes rockin small boobs of A cups or less- and they all looked freakin hot as hell! I thought about all of you when I saw them, it was great! love to all <3

[angie_21]

I also hear a lot of men asign a lot of really negative characteristics to women with breast implants (i.e. shallow and insecure). It's almost as if you are exchanging one problem with another. Then again, there are so many men who complain abouth the problems of women with large breasts (i.e. sagging and strectch marks).

Persephone, I think you need some new male friends! lol When guys I'm with start up that kind of conversation, I either ask them how they think we feel about their penis shape/size, or if they're not worth trying to rehabilitate, I just leave.

But anyways... some women get implants, it's their choice, but I think it's sad as a social phenomenon in general becuase it shows that people are so strongly affected by a single physical aspect of themselves that they are willing to have expensive and often deforming surgeries performed just to feel like they look better. Even without scarring and hardening problems, a lot of women look like they've have large tennis balls implanted under their nipples. I mean, as soon as the clothes are off, it's not usually a pretty sight, unless they had moderately sized-boobs to begin with and only asked for a moderate size increase. I don't judge the women who get this done, they either have some emotional problems or maybe they are just shallow, but whose fault is it that so many women feel like getting implants will make them happier? I feel lucky that I found the strength not to want to do this to myself, but when I was 15 I had already planned to get implants by the time I was 22, if they didn't grow before then. I don't know what changed and why, maybe I just saw enough of how bad implants really look as well as gaining a lot of self-esteem, but thankfully I changed my mind by the time I had the money.

[Aithinne]

I found this gem of a quote here while searching the net:



"PHENOMENAL COSMIC POWERS!!!!

...itty bitty living space!"



HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!! LOVE IT. ROTFLMAO. Seriously, this is my new mantra. Oh how I love Aladdin.. For buttercups or anyone having a bad boobie day, please think of Genie and repeat the above quote. I swear it will make you feel better. I don't think I've ever found anything that can lighten a dark boobie mood than this quote I just found. OMG. Small titty high two to that person!

[Aithinne]

Oh! and by the way (I just can't stop posting!). I was at Lord and Taylor the other day and I found a whole rack of AA bras. The most impressive thing about them was that they had a bit of push-up without being too padded. And they were SOO pretty!!

Yay! Victory for smallies! It makes me so happy to hear you found a whole rack of non-super padded bras. Aaaaah, I'm in bliss at the thought..... Two thumbs up Lord and Taylor.

[Persephone3]

Oh! and by the way (I just can't stop posting!). I was at Lord and Taylor the other day and I found a whole rack of AA bras. The most impressive thing about them was that they had a bit of push-up without being too padded. And they were SOO pretty!!

[Persephone3]

Has anyone ordered bras online? If so from what sites? Good experiences? Bad experiences? I really want to develop a website that caters to women with size A.

I never ordered bras online and I probably never will. As a smaller breasted girl, I have never needed a fitting. I can basically go into any store and find my size by feel, more then by band and cup size. It seems to differ greatly by make.
What I would like is lingerie that has a bit of support without wearing a bra. I have yet to find that.

[Persephone3]

Hi girls, Really quiet around here lately!
I was just wondering what you girls thought of women who get breast implants. Part of me understands and part of me feels as though they are selling out.
I hear so many men say they don't like them. I generally believe that to be true, even though they practically break their necks when they see them. But seeing is not desiring.
I also hear a lot of men asign a lot of really negative characteristics to women with breast implants (i.e. shallow and insecure). It's almost as if you are exchanging one problem with another. Then again, there are so many men who complain abouth the problems of women with large breasts (i.e. sagging and strectch marks). Women cannot win no matter what we do. I guess the answer is to just except yourself as you are. Not always easy.

[oceangirl]

Has anyone ordered bras online? If so from what sites? Good experiences? Bad experiences? I really want to develop a website that caters to women with size A.

[Persiflager]

*delurks*

Kate Beckinsale's ass in Underworld = most extreme hotness ever!

*relurks*

[Aithinne]

By the way... I missed you all!

And I was thinking about that topic with the shorter men and how we can relate to them from the female end of the spectrum. I kind of had a vision of what it would be like for the small boobie girls to have a party with the short and balding guys, so maybe we could finally see that everyone's got something society deems unattractive. I wonder if it would boost everyone's esteem overall.

And I do love Rachel McAdams and always thought she was stunning. You know, if I think about it, the women I find most beautiful tend to be smaller on the boobie side.. Rachel McAdams, Kate Beckinsale (whooee! smokin woman and I'm straight!), Evangeline Lily...