[EllaMinnowPea]

I wish I'd known that my own happiness and others' are not mutually exclusive.

[nickclick]

i wish i'd known to date the geeks. cool guys were (and still are) often too cool for things like being a grown-up or being a good boyfriend.

[zoya]

I wish I'd known that guys don't give a crap if you sleep with them or not on the first date if they're really interested in you - and if they throw you attitude because you didn't, they're not worth getting to know.

I wish I'd known that guys who make the best friends are most often the last person I should date.

I wish I'd known that anti-depressants are not scary, but a good thing in moderation!

[ginger_kitty]

I did the whole anti femme/tomboy thing when I was younger to. I still tend to be that way, but I have grown to like being girly sometimes and realize it doesn't make me weak or less intelligent to be feminine.
I wish I'd known that back then and had more girl friends, too.

I wish I'd known everybody ends up doing things they thought they'd never do.

I wish I'd known things would could better with age.

I wish I'd known people would like me, if I was just myself and let go.

[nickclick]

well octinoxate, we've got plenty o' girl friends here!

boy friends seemed more low maintenance, and probably still are. like if i bailed on hanging out or something it was not as much a biggie as with girl friends. maybe still true now, but i learned their friendships are more worth some of those hassles.

oh and i'd be nicer to my mom, would have held back on more of those fights about getting a perm or needing another pair of chucks.... i guess listening to the cure 24/7 made me a moody teenager....

[_octinoxate]

Hehe, I'd love to see your cubicle.

I did the same thing growing up: rejected everything "feminine" because I didn't want anything to do with the bullshit that I felt I was supposed to buy into as a woman ... but maybe ended up throwing the baby out with the bathwater. I've had some super girly phases and some super anti-girly phases since then, but I think I've found a comfortable ambiguous place that I very at home in now. Still, I need more girlfriends. That presence is so very important, isn't it.

Here's a new one I learned today: I used to think that trust had to do with the other person-- is he (or she... usually he in my case!) trustworthy? Can I rely on him? Can I show a weak spot? But what do ya know... it turns out that it's actually about trusting myself to handle whatever could go wrong if I trust somebody and he doesn't do what he's supposed to.

[nickclick]

yes, thanks octinoxate! it's good to know from where we came to see how far we've come. (okay that sounds like it came from my 7th grade diary. der.)

growing up i wish i had more girl friends. as a budding feminist i poo-poo'ed everything girly, which meant i never wore a skirt and hung mostly with boys, trying to be like them, to be taken more seriously i guess. now i see we can have our cake and eat it too, and that i need my girls around me to survive.

and maybe that's also why i'm 31 and my cubicle is tricked out in rainbow brite and hello kitty.

[doodlebug]

Yay, octinoxate! I missed this thread! Thank you for re-creating it!!!

I wish I'd known that it's okay not to have all the answers.

I wish I'd known that nobody else has all the answers, either.

I wish I'd known that I really am the only person on this planet who knows what's best for me, and I wish I'd learned how to trust my instincts more a long time ago.

I wish I'd known that it's okay not to be in control all the time.

I wish I'd known that it's okay not to know your destination, as long as you make the best of the journey.

[_octinoxate]

Hey everyone. With support and enthusiasm from the community forum, I'm bringing back an awesome thread from back in the day: Growing up GIRL! For those of you who weren't around when the thread was, it was a neat place for BUSTies to offer their sage wisdom, to comment on lessons they've learned as they've gone through life and gained new perspectives.

I still think about something that one of the old BUSTies said about insecurities and fears: they are not things to be coddled, sheltered, and protected, but rather to be exposed and challenged. I've been trying to keep that in mind lately as I try new things outside my comfort zone. (Who said that, BTW? Are you still around the lounge?)

So, bring it on, ladies! What have you had to learn the hard way? What do you wish you had known way back when, when you were Growing Up GIRL?