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> small breast support group - (I need it even if they don't)
strongirl
post Jul 11 2009, 03:17 PM
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I think it would be nice if your boyfriend stuck up for you, Flatgurl, but it would be more powerful if you stuck up for yourself. You deserve your own protection and respect at the very least. Right now it sounds like you're holding him to a standard you won't uphold yourself, in terms of standing up to those assholes.

And I agree with Angie_21, those so-called "reality" shows can't be helping your self-esteem any, when so many of them are showcases for overblown paychecks, overblown boobs, overblown egos, overblown houses/cars, and overblown needs for attention. I'd suggest diversifying when it comes to "guilty pleasures" - there are so many lovely ones from which to choose! smile.gif



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angie_21
post Jul 11 2009, 02:36 PM
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As for the music video.. there's a reason I don't watch mainstream TV or listen to mainstream music. It's an extension of the advertising industry, it's all a big scam, pure unadulterated crap intended to make us feel like shit about ourselves so we go out and spend money on stuff that we think will makes us look and feel better. It has no entertainment value, and certainly no artistic value. I hate to say it, but as long as you are hooked on this stuff, you are going to feel like shit once in a while. It's what this stuff is meant to do. Yeah, there are guys who buy right into it just like girls do, and expect girls to look like that. But they generally aren't people I hang out with. The music video is nothing more than a teenage boy's fantasy, used to sell what in my opinion is a pretty crappy song.

QUOTE(flatgurl @ Jul 11 2009, 09:58 AM) *
no one has ever made me feel this stupid before and i can't tell if its because of the way i look to them or the fact that my interests differ from them or what. its just really hurtful that my own bf cant stick up to me to his friends. am i making too much of this or what? what would you girls think?


Feel free to bring questions like this to other forums here. theres a whole bunch of relationship ones, I don't know how to link to them though. Anyways, it sounds to me like they are trying to make you feel stupid because they know you are smart, and some kinds of guys can't stand that (like the quote strongirl had from utube "hoz is stupid thinkin they important, yall know u just ho'z to us") I've experienced it too when I dated a guy in high school who well, wasn't all that bright (everyone remember twinkie man? this was him. we all do dumb things in high school lol) he took any chance he could to make fun of me when I did an occasional stupid thing, as we all do, because he didn't like feeling dumb next to me. I know it sounds snobby to say it like that, but whatever. It really sucks for your boyfriend to let that happen, but really it sucks that those are the kind of guys he hangs out with. My current boyfriend knows that he would be kicked to the curb so fast if he behaved like that, whooee. Not that he ever would. I can't say, maybe your boyfriend really is a nice guy who just can't stand up to his friends, but that would have been the last time I hung out with his friends. Life's too short to waste it hanging out with idiots.
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flatgurl
post Jul 11 2009, 10:58 AM
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hahahhahahhha Allison-Shine thats hilarious. and strongirl you are absolutely right, it is demeaning to all women and it just makes me soo angry (plus i dont think i can ever listen to that song again-ill only be able to think of that!). i guess it just frustrates me that things like this still exist and sometimes it seems like it will just never change...

on another topic, i went to a party last night -one of my bfs friends- and all of his friends treat me like shit for some reason. they always have and it makes me so mad bc my bf will just never stick up for me to his friends, and he even admits that he doesnt and doesnt know why he can't stick up for me. well anyways it was his friend's bday last night and his friend commented that even though i happened to be the oldest one there, i look 12. normally im used to that and i can just joke around with it, but he said it in such a hurtful way. All of the guys there laughed and agreed and my bf said NOTHING- even though i've told him before how much it hurts me. these guys have also all called me pretty much a "dumb blonde" to my face and they treat me like im just some slut that my bf picked up off the streets. it makes me so mad bc (not like i would ever put this in their face bc im not an asshole) but i went to an ivy league school and i have worked my ass off my whole life to get there. these guys dont even have jobs and yet they have the audacity to treat me like im the dumbest bitch on the face of the earth. i have always been kind to them and i think my only crime is that they know i like to watch reality tv and have a few guilty pleasures in my life. no one has ever made me feel this stupid before and i can't tell if its because of the way i look to them or the fact that my interests differ from them or what. its just really hurtful that my own bf cant stick up to me to his friends. am i making too much of this or what? what would you girls think?
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Allison-Shine
post Jul 11 2009, 07:57 AM
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QUOTE(flatgurl @ Jul 10 2009, 05:33 PM) *
So just when I was starting to feel a little bit better about myself, i youtubed this song i really like and this is what i got:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hb0KowdtK6Y

ugh things like this make me hate my body so much, is this really what people want/expect?? but I will say that one of the interesting things is that if you read some of the comments a lot of people think the video is bad, but who knows that could just be girls saying that..


But the large-breasted girls lost the basketball game, shouldn't that make you feel better? laugh.gif
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strongirl
post Jul 11 2009, 06:20 AM
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I'd like to elaborate on that. First of all, let me say that with that comment I didn't intend to insult you, Flatgurl, nor did I intend to insult big-breasted girls. That video really offends me and I think it is itself insulting to ALL women regardless of breast size. Without showing a bit of real nudity, it managed to be way more offensive than most porn, by reducing women to just a couple of body parts (tits and asses) solely existing for male consumption. The male coach has complexity (comparitively speaking), a range of emotions, problems that weigh on him...he's a person. But the female "athletes" (what an insult to real female athletes!) are nothing but bouncing boobs and perky butts. This is crap. This promotes the exact attitude that is reflected in one of the comments on YouTube (partially quoted here):

hoz is stupid thinkin they important
yall know u just ho'z to us

So when I say I would not want to look nor act like that, I don't mean to diss busty girls in general, I mean that the way these women look and act in this video is not anything that I would want to portray, nor do I think other women should do it either. While I vehemently defend the rights and dignity of sex industry workers, I really do think actresses and models should complain and/or turn down work like this. It doesn't have to be demeaning in order to be sexually stimulating. While there's nothing wrong with appreciating big boobs, or medium size boobs, or small boobs, there's definitely something wrong with seeing nothing but boobs when you look at a woman. That's what this video does.

As far as "is this really what people want/expect?", some of them do. Like the guy I quoted above. I seriously doubt you would want to appeal to and attract the attention of guys like that, Flatgurl.
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strongirl
post Jul 10 2009, 10:10 PM
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Flatgurl, would you really want to look and act like that? I most certainly would not.
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flatgurl
post Jul 10 2009, 04:33 PM
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So just when I was starting to feel a little bit better about myself, i youtubed this song i really like and this is what i got:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hb0KowdtK6Y

ugh things like this make me hate my body so much, is this really what people want/expect?? but I will say that one of the interesting things is that if you read some of the comments a lot of people think the video is bad, but who knows that could just be girls saying that..
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bob4both
post Jul 10 2009, 11:32 AM
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I've posted here before, but I'd like to repeat my previous posting and mention that there are many men who find small breasted woman extremely sexy, myself being one of them. It's a confidence issue; you're confidence in your body is what makes you sexy. Keep your head up & an extra button undone...now that's sexy!


--------------------
"Earth: The insane asylum for the universe..."
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strongirl
post Jul 10 2009, 11:07 AM
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Small-breasted hottie alert: check out Michelle Pfieffer on the cover of InStyle magazine. Who sez flat ain't sexy?

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karategrrl
post Jul 10 2009, 09:14 AM
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QUOTE(flatgurl @ Jul 10 2009, 12:27 AM) *
p.s. ladies im about to go out with my bf to run a quick errand and i just threw the inserts out of my bra...to hell with it once in awhile!

That's it! You go, girl.
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flatgurl
post Jul 9 2009, 07:27 PM
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p.s. ladies im about to go out with my bf to run a quick errand and i just threw the inserts out of my bra...to hell with it once in awhile!
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flatgurl
post Jul 9 2009, 06:46 PM
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Wow thanks girls, you are all so wonderful, I feel like I've finally found a place where people understand me. Hahahah Karategrrl I LOVE that story, that is awesome! I wish I had the balls to try that sometime! Angie your post was amazing and it did help put a lot of things in perspective, thank you so much. Strongirl that is really interesting, see I have always had a problem with porn. Just overall feeling inadequate and everything because of it. But there was this once time where I was with my bf to see some movie, and the chick in the movie was totally naked in one scene and she had really small breasts- which surprised me! And in a situation where I would normally feel upset/inadequate, I actually wanted him to look at this other woman and find her beautiful because maybe that would confirm that he also thought my body was beautiful. So i guess I'd feel a lot more comfortable with porn if guys looked at more flat girls.

Allison-Shine, I'm sorry I really do think that you are justified in feeling the way you do because I understand that this culture is obsessed with really large breasts. Just also know that I would love love love to be your cup size and that there are people out there (like me) for whom that is their ideal size. So you should feel good about yourself knowing that some people would kill to look like you!
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angie_21
post Jul 9 2009, 09:40 AM
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Thanks strongirl wub.gif I am blushing. And I love your story karategrrl, I may have to try that one day!!

Flatgurl, I used to wonder if I had some kind of hormonal imbalance too, even hope I did, becuase then I could go to the doctor and get it treated and grow nice big boobies. But that's a fantasy, in reality half the women in my family have smaller chests, it's genetic. It's not a disease or something that's "wrong" with us, it's a natural variation in human anatomy, and actually a very common one. I've seen advertisements for those breast-growth pills that try to tell us small boobs are "underdeveloped" but that's as scientific as saying someone who's 10 pounds overweight must have a thyroid condition. And I've done the research at message boards online, I've tried it myself, they simply don't work. It's a lie they tell vulnerable people like us to try to make us buy their product. I know it's hard to see in north america sometimes, what with plastic surgery and airbrushing being so rampant, but it's very very biologically normal to have A-AA boobies. And in some countries (Brazil, for one example) it's also considered very sexy. And as I've repreated her enough to annoy the hell out of everyone, you can add my boyfriend to the list of guys who love "tiny titties" (as he calls them).

I think everyone here has great advice, and this is a wonderful place to be! We're not trying to say you're crazy to feel the way you do. We've all felt like that at some point in our lives, and every once in a while I still let myself have a little pity party about my appearance, then I tune those thoughts out and go about the rest of my day. So, feel free to come here and vent, that's what this place is for! But my biggest advice is to pick other features about your body that you do like, and focus on them when you are feeling down on yourself. Focus on all the amazing things your body is capable of doing, not just how it looks! You can't out-tiny all of us, I am also 25, and I still don't fill out an A-cup either, and it took 30 lbs of weight gain (it wasn't intentional, even if I liked some of the effects of it!) to get big enough for a push-up bra to actually do any pushing! And you can't tell me I'm not sexy!
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strongirl
post Jul 9 2009, 06:58 AM
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Flatgurl, I echo Starship, Karategrrl, and Angie_21 - there's a lot of support and wisdom on this forum! You'll get good advice from people who've walked a mile in your cups - better than most therapists would give you - and it's free!

Re-read that first response you got from Angie_21. Then re-read it again. It is packed full of insight and wisdom. (Kudos to you on that one, Angie! I was blown away.)

Then do as Karategrrl suggested. Go back through the thread. The bad head spaces you're in are bad head spaces we've all been in...and helped each other out of. It's all in here, somewhere.

One other thing: the body type you possess is one that my boyfriend finds particularly sexy, and lots of other men do, too. He has a vast collection of photos of "girls" on his computer which I'm OK with because I enjoy them too and they give me some amazing insight into what he likes. It's very diverse but one body type that comes up over and over is the very flat-chested type. These are girls who are proudly and hotly displaying their nips in confident and provocative poses. It's not "kiddie" stuff either, fyi. These are women. Issues around porn aside (and we've touched on that in here, too, if you read back), if there weren't men who like this look all these photos wouldn't be out there to begin with. So OK, you have no breast tissue. That doesn't mean there's something wrong with you and it doesn't mean you are not sexy.


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Allison-Shine
post Jul 9 2009, 06:41 AM
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QUOTE(starship @ Jul 8 2009, 07:21 PM) *
i met some new people this weekend, two were women in their mid-30s and i swear before i found out their age i thought they were 21 at a push. I'm pretty sure their petite figures were partly to credit for that. small boobed bodies age well:)



Indeed, that is why at 23 I can still pass for 15-16. That is one of the upsides of being on the petite side and having the girlish/youthful look that sometimes comes with it.
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Allison-Shine
post Jul 9 2009, 06:40 AM
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QUOTE(karategrrl @ Jul 9 2009, 06:57 AM) *
Honey, there's nothing wring with you, and what you describe about B-cuppers complaining about their size is something we've all experienced as well. Yes, it IS totally annoying and exasperating. Here's a little story that bears repeating: My sis-in-law is one of those women. One day, for the 100th time, she called her large B-cups "bee stings." I said, "Those aren't small breasts. THESE are small breasts!" and I flashed her. That shut her up. She still talks abut it. wink.gif



Gee that is me, sorry ! I am a 32B but wish that I had a little more, but I understand your point. You did heck of a job making your point to your freind! LOL.

Something tells me I have that type of response coming to me one of these days. laugh.gif
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karategrrl
post Jul 9 2009, 05:57 AM
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QUOTE(flatgurl @ Jul 9 2009, 05:53 AM) *
Sometimes it upsets me when people who are B cups are upset about their chests, because to me that is hugeee, that is all I would ever want to be- at least a full A or a small B (not to say any of you girls with B cups are not justified in feeling the way you do because I'm sure it just depends on where you're coming from), but its hard to hear people that seem sooo much bigger to me say they are small because then its like wow I must be concave! If I ever got to be a B cup I feel like my obsessing would just melt away..heck if I had any breasts at all it would, but there is just nothing there at all..i keep thinking there must be something medically wrong with me, but I get normal periods and just can't find a thing..


Honey, there's nothing wring with you, and what you describe about B-cuppers complaining about their size is something we've all experienced as well. Yes, it IS totally annoying and exasperating. Here's a little story that bears repeating: My sis-in-law is one of those women. One day, for the 100th time, she called her large B-cups "bee stings." I said, "Those aren't small breasts. THESE are small breasts!" and I flashed her. That shut her up. She still talks abut it. wink.gif
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oceangirl
post Jul 9 2009, 12:53 AM
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i can't believe they are charging 45 pounds for that bra!! i got it for 45 USD.
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oceangirl
post Jul 9 2009, 12:48 AM
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i own that bra on the aa site (the wacoal bra) and it's nice. it has removable cookies. it's quite cute.

QUOTE(angie_21 @ Jul 8 2009, 04:19 PM) *
Hey starship, I was confused when I looked up Panache to see they supposedly specialize in DD+ sizes, but make tons of AA bras. Confusing. Do you know any stores in north america where you could buy them? I hate buying things online when I don't know if they will fit.

Guess what else I just found: AA Lingere.com
I guess someone already beat us to it, although I think a lot of their bras are kind of wonderbra-looking. Still, nice to be able to shop for bras without someone's giant photoshopped gazongas being shoved at me from the computer screen. Someone tell me this isn't a beatiful picture right here! who wouldn't want to look like this. although, after looking around some more, I take it back, there's more than a little photoshopping going on at this website too. *sigh*

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starship
post Jul 8 2009, 06:21 PM
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QUOTE(angie_21 @ Jul 8 2009, 10:19 PM) *
Hey starship, I was confused when I looked up Panache to see they supposedly specialize in DD+ sizes, but make tons of AA bras. Confusing. Do you know any stores in north america where you could buy them? I hate buying things online when I don't know if they will fit.


I'm in the UK and a lot of underwear stores stock panache here but i guess not so much in america. You could always try an online store that allows exchanges? I found the sizing to be pretty accurate anyway, as long as you're sure fo your size. I think they specialise in bras for both extra large and extra small ladies.

photoshopping sucks. i hate how all mascara ad's in magazines now have these crazy-ass lashes airbrused in. why don't they just scrap the model industry and use made-to-order manequins

flatgurl im sure theres nothing wrong with you! I've often wondered desperately if my size was down to PCOS or something but I think I've just gotta accept this is the way I'm meant to be. google has made us a world of hypochondriacs.

i met some new people this weekend, two were women in their mid-30s and i swear before i found out their age i thought they were 21 at a push. I'm pretty sure their petite figures were partly to credit for that. small boobed bodies age well:)
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