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> small breast support group - (I need it even if they don't)
Aithinne
post Sep 15 2009, 11:29 AM
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Well, I think the body modification to look like a cat, etc is different (or coming from a different head space) than women who modify their breasts through breast augmentation. I think many women get a boob job to try to fit in with everyone else, and to feel normal and attractive, but I doubt the guy that got modified to look like a cat got it to fit in! He probably wanted to be different than everyone else!

I always try to think that maybe if a whole slew of women get breast implants then the smallies will become an exotic minority. Maybe then small breasts will be more noticable since no one would have them anymore! And if you really think about it, it would be awfully boring to see the 'same woman' everywhere you go.
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strongirl
post Sep 15 2009, 10:20 AM
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Buttercups, you are not being "labeled as inadequate by the world". Only by yourself, and only on bad days.

I've always had mixed feelings about the whole "change your head" versus "change your body" thing. There's just so much depth to this issue. Generally speaking I think it's healthier to change your head in most cases. At the same time, I try not to slam those who opt to change their bodies.

Has anyone seen the documentary "Modify"? It is NOT for the faint of heart nor weak of stomach, LOL, but it is a fascinating look at extreme body modifications, why people do them, and what it all means and doesn't mean. From Stalking Cat, a guy who has surgically altered and tattooed himself to closely resemble a human cat, to people who hang in the air on hooks through their flesh, to people who get their tongues forked, I came away with a renewed sense of the importance of letting people make their own choices about how to live in their bodies and being non-judgmental and accepting about the wide range of forms that can take. Mind you I would NEVER want to do stuff like that to my body! But I respect others' right to do what they want without passing judgment on them.

By FAR the grossest and most horrifying thing in the film was when they showed breast implants being removed - I actually screamed and hid my face in my boyfriends chest - meanwhile, he had his eyes shut tight. It was awful seeing those shiny plasticky blobs falling out of a split open breast flap that looked like a bloody fresh steak. Gawd! My bf said "Please don't ever mutilate your breasts like that!"

So while I support anyone who feels they can't be happy unless they have their upper lip split to resemble a feline, or who wants breast implants, at the same time I don't think that sort of thing is healthy for most people. It's not for me. And as a woman I resent the pressure to alter myself to meet some marketing ideal. Ditto the fat transfer thing. I agree, Buttercups, I don't want to see a "sea of massive breasts" and it is alarming how the bar has been set higher and higher on what "large" is. I might have mentioned in here before that I was paging through an issue of Playboy that had multiple pics of various women on one page and my eye went to the one that looked "small and natural". It was Betty Page, the 50's pinup model, who was at the time known for her voluptuousness. Next to all the fake boobs, she actually looked small-breasted! That's how much our visual standard has been warped by the social phenomenon of implants.

I'm obviously all over the place on this issue and rambling so Ill stop...but I guess what I will tell myself and what may help you, Buttercups, is that while I respect other people's right to alter their bodies if they so choose, I prefer to love and enjoy mine in its natural state and be secure in the knowledge that small breasts are lovely, natural, and healthy and as such, quite sexy.



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Allison-Shine
post Sep 15 2009, 07:46 AM
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QUOTE(buttercups @ Sep 14 2009, 08:08 PM) *
Ugh i just read another article about that fat-depositing procedure karategrrl was talking about. I dont know why but it just made me feel really depressed. I guess that's because it seemed like women were finally waking up and accepting their bodies more and realizing implants were dangerous and taking them out, and now we're gonna have another surge of breast augmentation. Everyone is gonna be rushing to get this procedure done now and I'm gonna keep on feeling insecure in a sea of massive breasts. Although surgery would also be an option for me, i don't think i have enough fat on any other part of my body since I'm a small girl everywhere, and I am also terrified of surgery and wouldnt be able to fund it. I just want society to move towards thinking small breasts are beautiful, and with all these augmentation procedures out there it seems like I will keep on being labeled as inadequate by the world. blah.



I know that you are smaller than most but not all of us are busty collectively making up that "sea of massive breasts". I have my insecurites still but I do see a lot smaller women out there too.

I don't think a fat transfer would make a shapely bust. Since when is the fat on anywhere else your body flattering and toned?
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buttercups
post Sep 14 2009, 07:08 PM
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Ugh i just read another article about that fat-depositing procedure karategrrl was talking about. I dont know why but it just made me feel really depressed. I guess that's because it seemed like women were finally waking up and accepting their bodies more and realizing implants were dangerous and taking them out, and now we're gonna have another surge of breast augmentation. Everyone is gonna be rushing to get this procedure done now and I'm gonna keep on feeling insecure in a sea of massive breasts. Although surgery would also be an option for me, i don't think i have enough fat on any other part of my body since I'm a small girl everywhere, and I am also terrified of surgery and wouldnt be able to fund it. I just want society to move towards thinking small breasts are beautiful, and with all these augmentation procedures out there it seems like I will keep on being labeled as inadequate by the world. blah.
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Aithinne
post Sep 11 2009, 06:10 PM
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QUOTE(buttercups @ Sep 11 2009, 04:23 PM) *
Goin on a date with the boy toy tonight, and while i was getting dressed i tried on this top ive never worn without my huge padded inserts and guess what? i actually think it looks better on this itty bitty chest without all those "accessories". who woulda thought? Guess some tops really do look better on us little busties..

YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!! tongue.gif
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buttercups
post Sep 11 2009, 05:23 PM
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Goin on a date with the boy toy tonight, and while i was getting dressed i tried on this top ive never worn without my huge padded inserts and guess what? i actually think it looks better on this itty bitty chest without all those "accessories". who woulda thought? Guess some tops really do look better on us little busties..
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karategrrl
post Sep 11 2009, 06:44 AM
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QUOTE(Aithinne @ Sep 10 2009, 03:20 PM) *
We may have to take slutback too!

laugh.gif laugh.gif laugh.gif laugh.gif
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Aithinne
post Sep 10 2009, 10:20 AM
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QUOTE(angie_21 @ Sep 9 2009, 09:07 PM) *
To go off on another tangent about these words we're using, because it always bugs me, even though I use these words all the time... I hate words like trampy or trashy or slutty, because it's so irellevant. Slut can mean anything, like someone who wears a short skirt, or had sex before being married, it's sexist and kind of offensive. And sometimes its fun to be trashy. Trampy, same thing. For myself, I don't really want to dress in an unclassy way, I guess, but if someone thought I was trampy because I'm not afraid of my body or because I like sex, well, they can kiss my ass. To me the thing that's sad, is girls who dress a certain way to feel better about themseves by getting attention from asshole-type men... it's not sad because they're showing off their bodies, but because with some girls, it seems like they think that's all they're worth to the world. I hate when it's just purely for men's enjoyment and not their own. But how can I judge that just from looking at a girl? How do I know why she dresses or acts the way she does? It's so weird to me, and I hate that we end up having to use labels like "slut" that don't really express what we're trying to say.


I kind of have a tough time defining those words too. I think a lot of people define those words as a girl (always a girl, right? Never a guy!) who sleeps with men like a revolving door, a different one every day. Although, I don't necessarily think that women who do this are bad women who should be shunned. Who a woman wants to have sex with or how many is no one's business.

But, how I tend to think about these words has more to do with the mindset of the woman behind this type of revolving door sex life. Women who think their entire self worth is tied up in how many men they can get to notice them, the women who are so shallow with so little self respect that they don't care about themselves, only how many men they can sleep with and then validate themselves through. They're women who have no depth or redeeming qualities who engage in the behaviors above.

I don't think a good woman with her head on straight, with good character who just happens to like having a lot of sex, a slut or tramp.

Interesting topic extension angie! We may have to take slutback too!
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karategrrl
post Sep 10 2009, 07:57 AM
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Hey hey ladies,

Saw a friend of mine over the weekend, and she had had that fat transfer procedure--the Dr. sucked fat from her stomach and transferred it to her breasts. What's important to note is that she was already a fairly big girl with (sorry, no sensitive way to say it) fat stores on her belly and butt. She's had a child and already had medium- to-large-ish breasts, but they were deflated-looking, and she did not like that.

Well, she flashed me in the bathroom and I have to say that from my quick peek, it looks like the Dr. did a very good job, though her breasts were quite veiny and that did not look too good (I kept that opinion to myself). Basically, though, her breasts were filled up with enough fat to, well, kind of fill them out. And like I said, since she is a kind of large-framed girl, the new size complemented her overall figure. Yes, they looked noticeably large, but not absurdly so, and with natural-looking "hang." She was complaining of tons of pain in her stomach (where the fat was taken from). She'd only had the procedure a week prior.

My friend is no stranger to cosmetic procedures, so I am not surprised she'd done this. However, I looked online and found a lot of places where people have advised against it due to dimpling where the fat was taken from and problems with the transferred fat. Also interesting to note: The procedure is actually longer, more complicated, and more expensive than implants, and also more painful to recover from (due to trauma to at least 2 body areas, not just one). Also, sometimes the fat dissipates over time and you're left right back where you were before.

When I first saw her, I actually thought, "wow, maybe I'll look into this for myself." I just did and the thought of any kind of surgery--and its risks--turns my stomach. Besides, I have been doing a lot of running and have lost weight. My friend said she actually had to gain more weight before the procedure. It would take me ages to gain adequate weight to transfer anywhere, and I just am not that motivated. I'll stay with my little "cute" ones! (and yes, I did intentionally use the word "cute!") smile.gif

It will be interesting to see how the results of her procedure pan out over time. For her sake, I do hope there are no complications but I'll keep y'all posted.
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angie_21
post Sep 9 2009, 10:07 PM
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Hee hee, it's funny how confused they get... asking a direct question really scares them, it's like they feel trapped and they don't know what the right answer is!

QUOTE(strongirl @ Sep 8 2009, 07:24 AM) *
It's interesting that Angie's boyfriend used the word "real". I think being real, honestly putting out who you are and not being afraid to show yourself to others, physically or emotionally, is the sexiest thing anyone can do.


He really emphasized REAL, like capital letters, big hand gestures, important! We talk about this a lot, because it a fun topic, but he was a little confused that I brought it up out of nowhere and thought he might be in trouble or something, lol, but I'm pretty sure I know what he was getting at, even though it's hard to express in words. It's about confidence, and about not putting on an act to try to "look" or "talk" sexy. I think that's so true. That's always how I've tried to be, and it's not just about being sexy, it's about your whole life... I think being as honest and open as possible with my friends & family, and when I'm comfortable, strangers and co-workers too, makes my relationships so much better, and makes me a happier person.

being "womanly" or not isn't something I think about much. I never really used to feel like I was, I guess, but I didn't want to be either. But when my boyfriend is trying to tell me I'm hot, sometimes he'll use that word, like "you're all WOMAN" (same capital letters and big hand gestures as with "real" lol). It makes me giggle. He doesn't mean curves, he means, well, sex I think. I don't really know. It's made me change how I view myself though. As long as I never have to think of myself as "ladylike" (ugh. barf) I'll be OK.

To go off on another tangent about these words we're using, because it always bugs me, even though I use these words all the time... I hate words like trampy or trashy or slutty, because it's so irellevant. Slut can mean anything, like someone who wears a short skirt, or had sex before being married, it's sexist and kind of offensive. And sometimes its fun to be trashy. Trampy, same thing. For myself, I don't really want to dress in an unclassy way, I guess, but if someone thought I was trampy because I'm not afraid of my body or because I like sex, well, they can kiss my ass. To me the thing that's sad, is girls who dress a certain way to feel better about themseves by getting attention from asshole-type men... it's not sad because they're showing off their bodies, but because with some girls, it seems like they think that's all they're worth to the world. I hate when it's just purely for men's enjoyment and not their own. But how can I judge that just from looking at a girl? How do I know why she dresses or acts the way she does? It's so weird to me, and I hate that we end up having to use labels like "slut" that don't really express what we're trying to say.
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buttercups
post Sep 9 2009, 12:56 PM
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Hahaha he was so confused as to why I was even asking it, it was pretty hilarious!
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Aithinne
post Sep 8 2009, 08:01 PM
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Lol!!!

I gotta say, this man-survey is kind of fun! Tee hee. Buttercups, your bf sounds just as confused as angie's bf! Lol!
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buttercups
post Sep 8 2009, 07:35 PM
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Ok Ladies I had my man take our little survey...cept he didnt know what it was for bc I haven't shared this forum with him hahaha, i had to keep making up excuses!

me: what is it better to be- cute or sexy?

Him: ha why?

me: im just curious
Sent at 9:26 PM on Tuesday

Him: i dont think one is better than the other

me: well what is it better to be though

Him: no i mean i dont think one is better than the other

me: well would you rather be with someone who is cute or someone who is sexy


Him: personally? idano...i guess someone whose cute...but id want them to be sexy too so...

me: cant too cute not be sexy?

Him: no i dont think so
if your cute like younger sibling cute then it cant be sexy...but if its just cute like adorable then yea...can be sexy too

me: so when guys tell girls theyre cute what do they mean by that, like if its to some girl you dont necessarily know

Him: i guess it depends

me: on what

Him: the situation
why baby who called you cute!

me: no one im just asking bc im curious

Him: i guess it depends on if hes interested in her or not

me: well i just mean if a guy calls a girl cute what does he generally mean by that

Him: cute/sexy prolly

me: well when girls say a guy is cute they usually mean hot
but when guys say it does it mean the same thing or does it mean like little sister teddy bear

Him: no it usually means hot


Interesting huh? I guess there you have it, cute for guys = hot/sexy. Maybe all this time guys have been callin us smallies sexy bitches and we just never realized it!


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karategrrl
post Sep 8 2009, 09:42 AM
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QUOTE(Persephone3 @ Sep 6 2009, 12:26 AM) *
I can't even begin to tell you how many inappropriate things men have said to me (and friends through their stories) during the course of my life. I sometimes don't even know what to say. I often just scratch my head, look at them and think 'are you braindead?' And they honestly don't get it...

OMG, this is one of my major life themes here, summed up in 4 sentences.
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strongirl
post Sep 8 2009, 08:24 AM
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LOL, that conversation with your bf is hysterical, Angie! smile.gif And as usual, your posts are full of excellent perspectives and advice.

These recent posts are pretty fascinating in that we're trying to refine and redefine our definitions of "cute", "sexy", "trampy", "womanly" in ways that illuminate their meanings and ourselves. This is empowering stuff.

For myself, I've always felt and been described as "cute" and as "sexy" and I feel very comfortable with both. I've never been called "trampy" to my face and if people say it behind my back, I honestly don't care. I think no matter how you dress or make yourself up, if you make eye contact, if you are polite and honestly interested in other people and considerate of their feelings, if you are confident and show your intelligence, no one is going to call you trampy.

It's interesting that Angie's boyfriend used the word "real". I think being real, honestly putting out who you are and not being afraid to show yourself to others, physically or emotionally, is the sexiest thing anyone can do.

"Womanly"...wow, it's funny but I don't really identify much with that term nor do I care to. This is really weird but I just did a quick "word association" with it in my head and what came up for me was "old", "overweight", and "submissive". I picture the moms of my friends growing up, women who were very tired and oppressed by life, women who gave and never took. Odd that some of you have such a positive connotation to it and I don't. And it's sort of depressing from a feminist standpoint that the word "womanly" would have such a negative association in my head. Sad, really.

On a lighter note, I love the smoky eye thing and have two different versions of it. As my ordinary day makeup, I use a brown eye shadow crayon and just go around the outer corner and then underneath my eye to just past the iris, then smudge it a bit. It's pretty but looks natural and isn't messy if you exercise, cook, let dogs lick your face, etc. When I want to amp it up, I go a bit heavier on the top lid from the center out, add some contouring in the crease, add dark brown eye liner pencil close to the lash line on top and bottom and on the lower inner rim, then add black mascara. I also do a bit of that cat-eye upsweep thing that Angie mentioned. It's a fun way to do eye makeup, and easy.



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Aithinne
post Sep 7 2009, 08:10 PM
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Yay, angie's bf!

He sounded so confused though... rotflmao!! HAHAHA!
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angie_21
post Sep 7 2009, 07:48 PM
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QUOTE(Aithinne @ Sep 7 2009, 02:04 PM) *
I wonder how I can communicate that I can be a 'firecracker in the sack' too (because I know I can be). I wonder how you could make that impression to a guy without seeming like a tramp, some way to not be passed up because of the cute shell.


I always used to be afraid of people thiking I was a slut too.. Maybe I still would be, really, if I was stuck in the dating game. but I know that my boyfriend loooves that I am a "slut" whatever that means. If it means I like to have sex, he's all for it. I think this is one of those cases where it's good to care more about what you want, than what people think.

QUOTE(Aithinne @ Sep 7 2009, 02:04 PM) *
All the ladies with bfs should ask them if cute and sexy are exclusive things. Let's do a survey, shall we? Hope nobody minds if we collect male opinions on the matter?


Here was our conversation:

What do you like better, cuteness or sexiness?

-huh? what? Cute, I guess

Why? Can't they be the same thing?

--Yes! I mean, that is why I like cute. Because it's real sexy. Sexiness by itself is just a cover-up for something... wait, what are you talking about? What kind of sexy do you mean?

Well what kind of sexy do you like best?

-What I just said, cute sweet girls. What are you talking about?

The girls on my board want to know if cute can be sexy. They think since they're cute they can't be sexy.

-WHAT? That's stupid. I don't even know what to say. Why do they think there's like 8 million links on the internet to hot teenage girl porn? Because that's the only kind of stuff where you get to see real, pretty, cute girls. Cute girls are the real thing. Why do they think every guy out there wants to get with the "girl next door?"


So there you have it
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Aithinne
post Sep 7 2009, 03:04 PM
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QUOTE(angie_21 @ Sep 7 2009, 12:31 PM) *
Wow, this thread has turned up a whole new issue that I think is definitely strongly related to chest size, I don't think it's been hijacked at all! I know I used to have a bit of a problem with people thinking I was cute and innocent, I don't know if it had as much to do with my chest size as the fact that I was very shy and dressed a bit conservatively, and I try to always be nice and friendly to people I meet. But as I grew older I gained a lot of confidence, lost most of my shyness, so even though I still dress pretty conservatively, and physically mught look more "cute" than sexy, my boyfriend says when he met me he knew I would be "a firecracker in the sack!" I was stunned because I thought people still saw me as cute and sweet instead. It has a lot to do I guess, with speaking your mind, making eye contact, and at the time I met him, not being afraid to flirt inappropriately, and to drunkenly discuss things you like to do in bed... not things I should recommend, I guess, but they worked!

Hmm.. something to think about. I wonder how I can communicate that I can be a 'firecracker in the sack' too (because I know I can be). I wonder how you could make that impression to a guy without seeming like a tramp, some way to not be passed up because of the cute shell. I don't know how to do that. Maybe it's just one of those things like a look in the eye that really can't get communicated any other way.

QUOTE(angie_21 @ Sep 7 2009, 12:31 PM) *
As far as turning cuteness into sexiness... I think cuteness is an excellent starting point. It's part of what keeps sexiness from looking trampy. I think the number one thing to be remembered is that confidence and playfulness are so important to being and feeling sexy. It's so much not about how you look, but what you do instead. And what looks cute to one guy, will look smokin' hot to another. I agree the smoky dark eyes look awesome though, I always get tons of compliments when I have that kind of makeup on. You don't really need lessons, it just takes practice. I use dark grey eyeliner and medium grey or purple shadow with a little bit of sparkle to it. I always put on the liner first, then the shadow. When I do just a little bit of the "cat eye" effect, taking the liner and shadow a bit past the outer edge of my eye, that usually looks best. Just keep some eye make-up remover on hand just in case. Little things, like wearing heels that you can hear from down the hallway also get attention and just make you feel sexier.

You know, you may have a good point about how cute might keep sexiness from looking trampy. Maybe it adds a little class? Hmm.. I will have to do more studying on whether cute can be sexy. All the ladies with bfs should ask them if cute and sexy are exclusive things. Let's do a survey, shall we? Hope nobody minds if we collect male opinions on the matter?

I think tomorrow on my day off I'm going to go to the mall and try to get one of the makeup ladies to teach me how to do the smoky eye thing. I kind of want to learn how to do it so I can look hot when I go out in a few weeks. My 24th birthday is on the 17th, and I'm going out on the town the next night, so I'm thinking I'll experiment with makeup a bit and see if I can find something that works for me. Maybe then I can be sexy and confident instead of cute and insecure.

QUOTE(angie_21 @ Sep 7 2009, 12:31 PM) *
Aithinne, if you truly want to knock a man's socks off, I wouldn't be overly concerned about how you look, but you might want to check out the "Let's talk about sex" boards and brush up on your blowjob skills... I've never known anything a guy will be more amazed by, or appreciative of. You could be wearing grey sweatpants, if you're good at that, not much else matters.

One could always improve their blowjob skills, yes. But first, cute girl must step out of cute oppression so that erection doesn't fail upon sight of cute girl. Otherwise, cute girl will have to put a bag over her cute head with a hole cutout in it.

I think I'll work on both.
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angie_21
post Sep 7 2009, 01:31 PM
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Wow, this thread has turned up a whole new issue that I think is definitely strongly related to chest size, I don't think it's been hijacked at all! I know I used to have a bit of a problem with people thinking I was cute and innocent, I don't know if it had as much to do with my chest size as the fact that I was very shy and dressed a bit conservatively, and I try to always be nice and friendly to people I meet. But as I grew older I gained a lot of confidence, lost most of my shyness, so even though I still dress pretty conservatively, and physically mught look more "cute" than sexy, my boyfriend says when he met me he knew I would be "a firecracker in the sack!" I was stunned because I thought people still saw me as cute and sweet instead. It has a lot to do I guess, with speaking your mind, making eye contact, and at the time I met him, not being afraid to flirt inappropriately, and to drunkenly discuss things you like to do in bed... not things I should recommend, I guess, but they worked!

As far as turning cuteness into sexiness... I think cuteness is an excellent starting point. It's part of what keeps sexiness from looking trampy. I think the number one thing to be remembered is that confidence and playfulness are so important to being and feeling sexy. It's so much not about how you look, but what you do instead. And what looks cute to one guy, will look smokin' hot to another. I agree the smoky dark eyes look awesome though, I always get tons of compliments when I have that kind of makeup on. You don't really need lessons, it just takes practice. I use dark grey eyeliner and medium grey or purple shadow with a little bit of sparkle to it. I always put on the liner first, then the shadow. When I do just a little bit of the "cat eye" effect, taking the liner and shadow a bit past the outer edge of my eye, that usually looks best. Just keep some eye make-up remover on hand just in case. Little things, like wearing heels that you can hear from down the hallway also get attention and just make you feel sexier.

Aithinne, if you truly want to knock a man's socks off, I wouldn't be overly concerned about how you look, but you might want to check out the "Let's talk about sex" boards and brush up on your blowjob skills... I've never known anything a guy will be more amazed by, or appreciative of. You could be wearing grey sweatpants, if you're good at that, not much else matters.
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Aithinne
post Sep 6 2009, 06:49 PM
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QUOTE(buttercups @ Sep 6 2009, 12:10 PM) *
That is a lot of me in a nutshell! If I could make my bf react to me with awe with this body, well I'm not saying I would feel better about myself...but...it's just an effect I wish I had I guess.


I know... All I want is to know I am capable of pulling it off if I choose to. But my look is not versatile. I think it's amazingly difficult to turn cute into sexy. I wonder if anyone here has any tips to turn cute into sexy? And I don't mean trampy btw, because I don't think trampy is sexy... trampy is trampy. So you won't see me in a micromini skirt and pasties. I always wanted to learn how to do the smoky eye thing. Maybe I'll take my question to a makeup thread on bust.. Do we even have one of those? I feel bad hijacking the small boobie thread to discuss cuteness, but to me it's still related. Maybe we should create a "Cuteback" thread for a cute-not-sexy-support-group. Yeah, I'd live on that thread. Can we even create a thread, I wonder?

QUOTE(buttercups @ Sep 6 2009, 12:10 PM) *
And I completely agree that we need to take womanly back along with cute! I'm sick and tired of being made to feel like I'm not a woman. Where the hell did this idea come from?? I mean sometimes I really have felt like being female is this special group that I'm trying to be a part of but for some reason I don't really belong. What the hell?! I most certainly belong! Why have I felt like an outsider to my own gender? I've even identified with transgendered people before because I have so often felt like I'm trying desperately to be a woman and keep missing the mark even though that's all I want to be. I am 100% woman inside and out, and no one should be able to make me feel otherwise!


You know, I saw this documentary show on transgendered people that was really interesting. But I was amazed at how much I could relate to them too because they also feel like the outside/inside don't match the image of what 'woman' (or even 'man') is. Feeling like you're in an alien body, the wrong body for your personality.. Very interesting.
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Lo-Fi Version Time is now: October 21, 2014 - 05:42 AM