[discowombat]

Good news, everyone! As of today, I am no longer a small-breasted highschooler!

Congrats on your graduation!

[KeraBear]

Good news, everyone! As of today, I am no longer a small-breasted highschooler!

[strongirl]

I've taken a few of those classes and I found them totally enjoyable. I understand your ambivalence about the "stripper chic" thing, Karategrrl. But the classes are really about just having some sexy fun while getting a good workout and getting in touch with your body. I've done a couple pole classes, a cardio strip-tease class, a lap dance class, and last summer I took a 6 week burlesque class. All of them were a total blast. So far I have failed to really take this as far as I've wanted to in terms of actually performing with the burlesque troop or giving my bf a real lapdance. Not because I'm intimidated as much as just too freakin' busy and stressed out and for the past few months not very healthy. And to be honest, I sort of forgot about giving him a lapdance - I should probably revisit that one, LOL.

One of the best things about the classes I took is the way women supported each other in accepting their bodies and expressing their sexuality. It really dismantles the whole "looks competition" thing between women. Rather than comparing and competing, we all hooted and hollered and cheered each other on. It felt good to appreciate and enjoy other womens' bodies and to let them know and make them feel good about themselves. And it felt good to be on the receiving end of it, too. I would highly recommend doing these classes as a way to work on one's body issues and have a lot of fun while doing it.

[DeeRayy]

Part of me wants to do it b/c well, I like to feel sexy and use my body in wonderful ways and just be fabulous. The other part of me is not wanting to buy into that stripper/sex worker glorification mindset. Plus, I'm sure hubby will want a demo and honestly I'd feel like I could never live up to a "professional" performance and would feel totally un-confident about doing so. With just the other women in the class watching me, though, I'd be fine.

I can relate to a few of your opinions. I'm actually really open to trying out those types of classes. In fact, i plan on it eventually. I think it could be an empowering experience because it would probably help me become more comfortable with my sexuality , which i am not in touch with at ALL right now (of course, I have to work more on becoming comfortable with my body overall first). and i think it'd be kinda fun to give a future partner a lap dance. the thing is, if i were to do it, it would be more about me feeling sexy than pleasing my partner. i figure being able to strip or dance for someone without freaking out would be a big step for me in terms of body acceptance.

and btw karategrrl, i'm no expert on guys, but i don't think you have to worry about measuring up to a professional stripper. your husband will probably be too busy enjoying the show to critique your performance! haha.

pole dancing competitions?? my my. you have a point there karategrrl, i don't think pole dancing will ever be considered a respectable sport, ahaha. we're pretty conditioned to think "stripper" when we see a pole, and i don't think that's going to change anytime soon.

[karategrrl]

Wow... this is just... scary. I am a bit disappointed that the "nipple tassle Tshirt for girls" link didn't work. I was really wondering what that was all about. *shuddering*

I wonder if that nipple tassle thing was a joke?

Yeah, there seems to be a whole kind of weird "stripper chic" thing that has kinda popped up in recent years. Like, pole kits you an install in your house, stripper "bump and grind" workout videos, lap-dancing and "how to strip for your man" classes popping up through lingerie shops but also mainstream adult education venues. Personally, I'm kind of torn--I keep flirting with the idea of taking these "pole workout" and burlesque classes that are given nearby. Part of me wants to do it b/c well, I like to feel sexy and use my body in wonderful ways and just be fabulous. The other part of me is not wanting to buy into that stripper/sex worker glorification mindset. Plus, I'm sure hubby will want a demo and honestly I'd feel like I could never live up to a "professional" performance and would feel totally un-confident about doing so. With just the other women in the class watching me, though, I'd be fine.

Then again, "pole" stuff has evolved into something of a sport--there are championships and shit, it IS really athletically challenging, and that totally intrigues me. But then, it originated with the strippers, and b/c of that there will always be a stigma. For sure, men don't watch it and admire the athletic ability, they're just getting hot and horny.

[KeraBear]

I had to share this. No wonder the young girls are confused!
Pole Dancer toy for girls

Wow... this is just... scary. I am a bit disappointed that the "nipple tassle Tshirt for girls" link didn't work. I was really wondering what that was all about. *shuddering*

[karategrrl]

I had to share this. No wonder the young girls are confused!
Pole Dancer toy for girls

[strongirl]

Karategrrl, I'm glad you said what you did about the "stripper club", it made me feel better. When I first read DeeRayy's post telling about it, I wanted to puke. But you're right - it helps to put it in context. Not that it's OK but it's not as catastrophic as one might think at first glance. Still - I wish they all had big sisters like DeeRayy to help buffer them against the tidal wave of crappy expectations that are going to be put on them in this culture.

DeeRayy - re. Audrey Hepburn, forgive me if I've told this already but my teenage son has a female friend who is obsessed with her as well. She's seen all her movies, has posters, screensaver, etc - she really idolizes Audrey Hepburn in a huge way! And interestingly, this girl is "curvy" and very large-breasted. So some of us slender, small-breasted girls envy being "womanly" like Kim Kardashian and Beyonce and then we have busty girls like my son's friend wishing they could look like Audrey Hepburn. Personally, I think it's healthiest to do it the way you are doing it, DeeRayy - to celebrate some of your own qualities in an idol.

[karategrrl]

my little sister said there's a group of girls that call themselves the stripper club at her school. the fucking stripper club, and they're in elementary school! and they practice pole dancing during recess on the tether-ball courts. what is wrong with the world today???

What. The. Fuck.
You know, I have to say that I think a lot of it is being young, inexperienced and just not fully realizing what they're saying/doing. When I look back on some of the stuff I said and did (like in the pre-sexually active phase of my life) it makes me cringe. I truly didn't realize the fullness of what I was doing, and a lot of it was like "trying it out," if that makes any sense. I think young'uns emulate whatever popular culture throws at them. In the '50s it was Elvis and <gasp> swinging your hips around, in the '70s, maybe it was rollerskating in silky, shiny short-shorts that left nothing to the imagination. Today it's the stripper poles. So yeah, it makes us cringe, and not that it's okay, but I think a lot of it is just that they're unaware.

you've got a point there kera. and it's not like guys stand around at a party and check out girls' noses. "oh man, look at the nostrils on that one!".

LOL!!! OMG, that's great.
No, they don't. I have to say, though, you never know. Some men have a thing about feet. I personally have a fetish about men's hands. Maybe it's that peer pressure thing--just like many guys don't necessarily prefer large breasts, they'll hoot and holler in a crowd of monkey-men like they do, when maybe there are more subtle or unusual things they appreciate.

"There is more to sex appeal than just measurements. I don't need a bedroom to prove my womanliness. I can convey just as much sex appeal, picking apples off a tree or standing in the rain."

Lord, that was hot!!!!! And beautiful!! Made my day!!!

[DeeRayy]

awwwwww it makes me sad thinking about girls at such a young age already feeling self conscious about their bodies. They are supposed to be busy being children, you know?!? I agree with karategrrl - she is lucky to have a big sis like you!

yes, it upsets me to no end! i wasn't even thinking about what my body looked like at her age! i hate how kids are trying to grow up so fast nowadays, especially girls. my little sister said there's a group of girls that call themselves the stripper club at her school. the fucking stripper club, and they're in elementary school! and they practice pole dancing during recess on the tether-ball courts. what is wrong with the world today???

You pose an interesting question, DeeRayy... what makes it so much easier to accept a nose and not a pair of boobs? I think maybe it is because boobs are commonly equated with femininity?

you've got a point there kera. and it's not like guys stand around at a party and check out girls' noses. "oh man, look at the nostrils on that one!".

everytime i think of how many people equate breasts with femininity i think of audrey hepburn (i'm in love with her you guys, it's unhealthy lol). she's the most feminine creature i've ever seen and she is in nooooo way the stereotypical busty blonde that is idealized nowadays. i'm going to leave you guys with one of her my favorite quotes from her-

"There is more to sex appeal than just measurements. I don't need a bedroom to prove my womanliness. I can convey just as much sex appeal, picking apples off a tree or standing in the rain."

gahh she's amazing

[KeraBear]

yes, it would be unfair of me to resent her and damage our relationship because of my own insecurities. and pretty selfish! as long as she remains sweet and respectful to me i'm fine by her. the thing is, i'm the oldest of nearly twenty grandchildren. a lot of them are girls and i want to set a good example for all of them. i may be a mess in private sometimes, but when i'm around my little cousins i try not to let it show.

but i mostly try to stay strong for my little sis. i love her to death and she's already starting to show signs of insecurity, and she's only eight! she's already self conscious about the hair on her legs, and you guys all know how cruel kids can be sometimes. she's so much younger than me that i feel no sense of competition with her. if anything i'm like a second mother to her. so i really want to set an example that shows her that physical appearance is not what defines you. it's not always easy to set the perfect example though!

awwwwww it makes me sad thinking about girls at such a young age already feeling self conscious about their bodies. They are supposed to be busy being children, you know?!? I agree with karategrrl - she is lucky to have a big sis like you!

one of the things i don't understand is why i can't have the same attitude about my breasts as i do my nose. i was probably teased more often for my hooked nose than my breasts (mainly in middle school and early high school). and i hated it for a good while but now i see it as kind of my trademark. it makes my face look unique and i wouldn't change it anymore-without it i wouldn't look like me. so it kinda puzzles me why i can't bring myself to look at my breasts the same way.

You pose an interesting question, DeeRayy... what makes it so much easier to accept a nose and not a pair of boobs? I think maybe it is because boobs are commonly equated with femininity?

[karategrrl]

“life isn't a contest to see who can nab the biggest cup size. honestly, if i let myself constantly compare my body to the rest of the world i'd go insane! i'm just going to let her be her and let me be me. besides, how am i ever going to become the best version of myself if i'm too busy worrying about everyone else?"

OMG, thus was wonderful to read.


DeeRayy, great link. I LOOOVE this woman's attitude! Seriosly, all it takes is for one brave person to stand up and others will follow and recognize the greatness.

DeeRayy, all I can say is how lucky your little sister is to have you around!! I know there's an age difference but maybe that can be a good thing. You say you've been more like a mother to her. Sheet, we can never have too many people who care about us, truly, whether they're like mothers or auntie figures or big sisters or whatever.

[DeeRayy]

That says a lot about you for not feeling entirely self-conscious around her and valuing your relationship and quality time with her over any body issues that you may have. Yeah you can't resent her for what she physically is, its obviously unintentional and just physical nature on her part.

yes, it would be unfair of me to resent her and damage our relationship because of my own insecurities. and pretty selfish! as long as she remains sweet and respectful to me i'm fine by her. the thing is, i'm the oldest of nearly twenty grandchildren. a lot of them are girls and i want to set a good example for all of them. i may be a mess in private sometimes, but when i'm around my little cousins i try not to let it show.

but i mostly try to stay strong for my little sis. i love her to death and she's already starting to show signs of insecurity, and she's only eight! she's already self conscious about the hair on her legs, and you guys all know how cruel kids can be sometimes. she's so much younger than me that i feel no sense of competition with her. if anything i'm like a second mother to her. so i really want to set an example that shows her that physical appearance is not what defines you. it's not always easy to set the perfect example though!

Ha! This is great! The strategically placed thumbs up over her booblets is so uniquely sexy! And she has such good things to say. I like her style. Good find, Dee...

haha, i'm glad you like it kerabear. i'm just sooo in love with this site right now. it's so touching. if you have time you can go to the navigation link, scroll down to the bottom part labeled "specific parts" and there's a link for breasts. surprisingly the breast section was just as big as the "size" or "fat" section. even more surprising was that the biggest section was on "noses". but i can understand why that is (i should remind you guys that i have a lot of facial features in common with lea michele haha).

one of the things i don't understand is why i can't have the same attitude about my breasts as i do my nose. i was probably teased more often for my hooked nose than my breasts (mainly in middle school and early high school). and i hated it for a good while but now i see it as kind of my trademark. it makes my face look unique and i wouldn't change it anymore-without it i wouldn't look like me. so it kinda puzzles me why i can't bring myself to look at my breasts the same way.

[KeraBear]

hey girls! i just read the most adorable blog posts i've ever seen and i just have to share it with you guys!

http://stophatingyourbody.tumblr.com/post/...t-me-tell-you-a

her post made my day! this is definitely going on my favorites list. her thumbs up pose is adorable and she seems so happy with her itty bitties. it'll probably make a lot of you smile too

i explored the entire site and it's one of the best body image movements i've seen. no bias, no "real women have curves" type slogans. just random people from all around the world posting pictures of their bodies and talking honestly about their struggles. it's fabulous

Ha! This is great! The strategically placed thumbs up over her booblets is so uniquely sexy! And she has such good things to say. I like her style. Good find, Dee...

[Allison-Shine]

Yay DeeRayy! This is a big step in the right direction. Yeah, it's not like your cuz was all like, "I'm gonna grow some Cs this year. That'll show DeeRayy!" (if only it were that easy right? lolz) You've gotta focus on being the best "you" you can be regardless of your cup size. What a great example you will be setting for your young cousin as she enters those difficult teen years. *KeraBear shudders as she remembers the year she turned 13...*

Recently over PM i gave Karategrrl permission to give an "electronic web bitchslap" everytime she finds me comparing myself unfavorably with my sister! It's terribly unhealthy. I am trying to be way more intentional about that...

Yeah, its not like she was mapping out some grand plan since she was like 8 or whatever to "best" you physically. Even though some of us on the receiving end of mother nature let such ideas take over our imaginations, raise our paranoia counts and let us sometimes believe that this is truly the case.

Yeah Kera, I remember being 13 verrry well, almost too well, for both the good and bad reasons. But I would not trade being who I am and where I am right now at 25 for being 13 again, despite the responsiblites and obligations in my life right now, and even having my younger sister being way smaller than me again, nooo way!

I would hate to receive an "electronic web bitchslap" from someone who knows karate, even if it was a virtual one Would you settle for a pinch instead?

[Allison-Shine]

but, i spent some time with my younger busty cousin this weekend for her 13th birthday and i did some thinking. and i realized that there's no reason for me to feel uncomfortable or ashamed around her. i genuinely care about her, and she's a sweet gir.l so i would slap myself if i ever let the mere fact that she has larger breasts stop me from spending time with her. more importantly, why the heck should i resent my own cousin for something neither of us have any control over? i'm not in competition with her. life isn't a contest to see who can nab the biggest cup size. honestly, if i let myself constantly compare my body to the rest of the world i'd go insane! i'm just going to let her be her and let me be me. besides, how am i ever going to become the best version of myself if i'm too busy worrying about everyone else?

That says a lot about you for not feeling entirely self-conscious around her and valuing your relationship and quality time with her over any body issues that you may have. Yeah you can't resent her for what she physically is, its obviously unintentional and just physical nature on her part.

[DeeRayy]

hey girls! i just read the most adorable blog posts i've ever seen and i just have to share it with you guys!

http://stophatingyourbody.tumblr.com/post/...t-me-tell-you-a

her post made my day! this is definitely going on my favorites list. her thumbs up pose is adorable and she seems so happy with her itty bitties. it'll probably make a lot of you smile too

i explored the entire site and it's one of the best body image movements i've seen. no bias, no "real women have curves" type slogans. just random people from all around the world posting pictures of their bodies and talking honestly about their struggles. it's fabulous

[KeraBear]

but, i spent some time with my younger busty cousin this weekend for her 13th birthday and i did some thinking. and i realized that there's no reason for me to feel uncomfortable or ashamed around her. i genuinely care about her, and she's a sweet gir.l so i would slap myself if i ever let the mere fact that she has larger breasts stop me from spending time with her. more importantly, why the heck should i resent my own cousin for something neither of us have any control over? i'm not in competition with her. life isn't a contest to see who can nab the biggest cup size. honestly, if i let myself constantly compare my body to the rest of the world i'd go insane! i'm just going to let her be her and let me be me. besides, how am i ever going to become the best version of myself if i'm too busy worrying about everyone else?

Yay DeeRayy! This is a big step in the right direction. Yeah, it's not like your cuz was all like, "I'm gonna grow some Cs this year. That'll show DeeRayy!" (if only it were that easy right? lolz) You've gotta focus on being the best "you" you can be regardless of your cup size. What a great example you will be setting for your young cousin as she enters those difficult teen years. *KeraBear shudders as she remembers the year she turned 13...*

Recently over PM i gave Karategrrl permission to give an "electronic web bitchslap" everytime she finds me comparing myself unfavorably with my sister! It's terribly unhealthy. I am trying to be way more intentional about that...

[DeeRayy]

angie, i totally agree with you on that. i was raised on that same highly processed diet you just described, and i'm just now starting to shift to a health conscious diet now that i am older and know better. it's still frustrating when i look in the fridge and all there is is microwave food. i STILL butt heads with my mom over that. luckily there's an organic food store close to the apartment complex i'm moving into next year, plus a gym two blocks away so me and my roomie already make a pact to go regularly. yaay!

i feel like they should make kids take nutrition classes at the very least in this country. i grew up thinking that type of food was normal and acceptable to eat, and no one ever challenged that. it wasn't until i started reading up on nutrition myself that i realized how different my diet should be. and i feel so much better now that i don't eat that crap anymore! i don't think people in this country realize how much proper diet and exercise can improve your mood and well being. poor diets are so normal for people in north america now that i don't feel people question their eating habits nearly as much as they should.

i kinda wanna emphasize, however, that not all heavy women are busty and not all thin women are small busted. while that is the general trend, i have come across many women that are exceptions to this. there's always a reason for your bust size, but it is not always your diet. sometimes it's genetics, sometimes it's other factors. in my case i feel like it's this weird complicated mix of genetics(i failed to mention that my dad's side of the family is rather petite, like me) and medical reasons.

but, i spent some time with my younger busty cousin this weekend for her 13th birthday and i did some thinking. and i realized that there's no reason for me to feel uncomfortable or ashamed around her. i genuinely care about her, and she's a sweet gir.l so i would slap myself if i ever let the mere fact that she has larger breasts stop me from spending time with her. more importantly, why the heck should i resent my own cousin for something neither of us have any control over? i'm not in competition with her. life isn't a contest to see who can nab the biggest cup size. honestly, if i let myself constantly compare my body to the rest of the world i'd go insane! i'm just going to let her be her and let me be me. besides, how am i ever going to become the best version of myself if i'm too busy worrying about everyone else?

[angie_21]

While I am a huge fan of hormone-free, non GM food, I would definitely place a lot of the blame for problems in North America on high fructose, low-fat, highly processed, carb-bloated diets so common to north americans. A lot of research that seems solid to me, but is not as highly publicized as the other stuff, backs up the idea that a high-sugar diet messes with a number of systems in the body, including insulin and hormones. I think a lot of the bigger breasts correlates with overall bigger bodies. Look at pictures of women in the 1950s - much trimmer overall, including in the bustline. But yeah, diet and health overall is a huge problem.