[Persiflager]

Wooo, hey baroque!

*waves wildly*

It's good to hear from you - I've been thinking of you, and hoping you were ok.

How's work going? It sounded as if that was helping you get through the days.

I know it all feels so horrible and unending now, but it. will. pass.

(((baroque)))

P.S. By the way, there's a depression thread in 'Our bodies, Our hells' if you want more specific advice from others in the same situation. Are you getting any help at the moment?

[baroque]

hi all,

(((zoya)))
i hope you're feeling better. seeing an ex seems to stay awkward and sometimes painful for a long time. i've found, though, that the first run-in is definitely the worst. you already know this of course, but it will be easier later.

that is my sad attempt at a response - they'll get a little more wordy as time goes on. but at the moment i'm sort of eyebrows deep in a pretty awful depression. it got really scary for a while but i think i'm holding steady now. i'm sorry i never updated - i would come here and open a box and then honestly couldn't think of a single thing to put in it. i've been lurking though.

not sure how to talk about anything i'm feeling, so i'll just say this: i'm trying. and i read this forum, every day, and feel thankful that there are so many people out there that are kind enough to support each other. it's very reassuring and makes me feel far less alone.

xoxox



ps if you're interested in how much of a damaged romantic i am, you can go here and read all my maudlin shit. myfreckledthroat dot blogspot dot com

[auralpoison]

Nice ouroboros, Futura.

(((((Zoya)))))

[bunnyb]

yeah, zoya, just so you know .

(((zoya)))

[StarLightBright]

lol Xs are some how always around and they can some how always find a way to get to our heads...I've figured out that the only way to get rid of an X is to accept it and move on and have NO contact with them at ALL thats what kills it all having contact with an X is the worst thing to do...i have non with mine anymore...and the worst thing ever to do is to sleep with ur X...

[zoya]

GT - He actually broke up with me. I was cool with going along, I thought we were going along - slowly, but just seeing where things went. I didn't really have the inkling that his backing off wasn't just the sort of normal pull away a bit for a day or two then bounce back like he usually did. After about 3 weeks of very little contact and seeing him twice, I could just feel something was up. Then we had "the talk" then we got through new years parties, then he broke up with me.

[futura]

((((Zoya))))That is rough.

(((Pugs)))

[Persiflager]

Finally got home and could watch FYS's video, huzzah! That is magnificant.

[girltrouble]

((((((Z)))))))

maybe you'll be able to get back to that friendship after more time has passed, you know?

it's only been a couple of months, right? those people all know each other, so you can always move that direction when things are more solid. plus, you have to think, if everyone is a bit weird about being around you, it's cos they know how much he liked you, you say that he was uncharacteristically open about how he felt about you. you know friends rally around their friend after a break up, that's to be expected, particularly with guys, and they don't know how you are going to react, but he can't show if he misses you as a friend. with guys, especially since you broke up with him. there is a lot of pride there, his masculinity, is involved--believe it or not. with guys it's keeping up a certain facade. give it time and that will fade, you'll be less of a threat to that, and you can rediscover a friendship there.

but his friends-- they just want to keep him from hurt like your friends did with you. but i think that your friends fell in together so easily--that's a very good thing. again, give it more time. i have a feeling when everyone feels like the "danger" has passed, you'll bump into him and his friends, and it will be fine. you'll get to hang out at his place, but minus a LOT of the hurt you feel now-- and that's much better for you, chickie.

i know it doesn't feel like it, but you're still fresh off this one, still licking those wounds. i know i get the urge to hit that rewind button and think of how i should have done it, or push that fast forward button, to get to better times. you'll get there, but you know you need that time. you might find it's not what you want or need.

[Persiflager]

(((zoya)))

That really sucks, especially when you're (relatively) new in town. But yay for having nice girlfriends to go to the movies with, and to organise the car-sharing for minimum zoya-pain!

[zoya]

ok, this is so insignificant compared to everyone else's stuff, but I just need to vent...... went to the movies last night with a couple of girlfriends for a special screening.. during the previews, in walks R, a group of friends with him, and sits right in front of us. They didn't see us in the theatre, as it was dark, so they had no idea - but afterwards, when we were walking out and getting ready to call a taxi, they walked out. We all chatted for a bit (everyone knows each other) then they offered us a ride - they were split between two cars, and one of my friends engineered it so that I'd end up in a different car from R... it was so rough, because his group were all going back to his for drinks - and going to that movie, with those friends, then going back to his after, was exactly the type of thing that I'd be part of just a couple months-ish ago. Since the whole break-off thing, it's been total cold turkey - this is the first time I've run into any of them.

Also, part of the group was this girl that I'd always had kind of a vibe that she was kinda gunning for R... I mean, it's obvious that he's known her for awhile, and his other friends are pals with her too - and clearly he chose to be with me and made no effort to hide it or anything if we ran into her, so I wasn't worried - but I'd just always had a vibe about her. While I was around, we'd run into her out and about and chat, but she never came back to his place to have drinks or anything (a normal occurrence with that group of friends) Last night, she was one of the people driving, (R and some other people were in her car) and telling everyone they'd meet up at R's, and she certainly wasn't as chatty with me as before when I was with R, it was almost like she was acting guilty or something. Plus one of R's friends' girlfriend, who'd never known this girl when I was hanging out with R, was now kinda chit chatting with her, while being a bit awkward with me. I don't know that anything is going on between this girl and R, (they weren't sitting next to each other in the movie or anything) but it's obvious that they hang out in the same group more now just by the way she was talking about things.

It just hurt. I know I conducted myself well, I was just probably a bit more quiet than usual- but it just sucked. It's so easy to say to myself to just get over it, this is just how things get. People don't know how to act, things get a bit weird - it's rough, though. I know that I couldn't expect him to ask me round or something like that - but it just hurts to see that whole dynamic that I was a part of that got cut out cold turkey by him. And it's completely obvious to everyone that we don't talk anymore at. all. That pretty much sucks. We barely even said Hi to each other.

He's had these friends for years, I've only been here for a little over a year, so it's just a much easier thing for him in that respect. Sometimes I wish I'd just stayed stronger about not crossing the line into a physical relationship for longer (hey, a month is a long time for me!) and just stayed friends with him. At least I'd have his friendship now and not be in a place where we can't be friends.

anyway, sorry, just needed to get that off my chest. No, his actions weren't consistent with someone who wanted to be in a relationship, I get that - but I do miss him as a person - interacting with him on a creative basis, talking, etc. A lot. and seeing that clearly he doesn't feel the same hurts a lot too.

[roseviolet]

That hat. Oh my god, that hat! That was great. Thanks for giving me my first laugh of the day, FYS.

[kittenb]

That was really funny. I hope he sees it.

[flanker_ji]

OMG, that was funny yo. Glad it made you feel better!

[foryoursplendor]

Ok so its taken me a long time to be able to share this stupid video that I made. I had a terrible boyfriend a while back. I drew some mean cartoons about him, made up a little song and put it all into a video. It really made me feel a lot better. I went from absolutely hating him to feeling indifferent

Here ya go: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NoGyJoXWvB8

Hope whoever watches get some smiles out of it.

[culturehandy]

((((pugs)))) hope you are well hun.

Baroque, how are you holding up??

[girltrouble]

rose beat me to the punch...i hope you are well pugs. know you are loved.

[roseviolet]

((((((((((((LMP)))))))))))))))
Thinking about you. Hope you're coping okay today.

[roseviolet]

((((((((((Baroque))))))))))))
Hope you're doing okay today.

((((((((((((Pugs)))))))))))))
Add me to the list of people who think you need weekend plans that will get you out amongst loved ones. Do you have some girlfriends to hang out with? Maybe you could spend the time with family? If you're in the mood for a road trip, you can drive the 6 hours down to my house. We can go to Drag Queen Bingo or just plant ourselves on the couch & watch bad movies. Whatever you want.


A few years ago a friend of mine called off her engagement about a month before the wedding. On the day that would have been her wedding day, we gathered together a bunch of gal pals and got her an un-wedding cake from a local bakery. It was a tough day for her, but she said it was a lot easier because she was surrounded by people who love her.

[girltrouble]

(((((((pugs)))))))

so sorry. i'm with persi. can you find somewhere else to stay for the weekwnd?