[angie_21]

((buttercups)) like enfemera said, you're doing great!

Sport-on, it's even worse now that they have the budgets to photoshop movies not just for special effects, but also for people's appearances. My guy says he hates watching high budget movies these days because the actresses are hot, but they're so photoshopped it's like you're watching a cartoon and you're supposed to think it's sexy (also he hates the movies because well, they just generally suck, but this was a reason too lol). He always prefers the girls in the old style movies where every girl actually looked different, and you were supposed to see her personality. yes, that's right, he's a guy and he thinks personality is more important to attractiveness than physical looks. gasp. I just wish there weren't all the other people out there who do buy into that stuff. Also, I loooove PS disasters! so funny.

well last night I went out after writing an exam I've been studying for weeks to write, and decided to celebrate. I went straight after the exam, no make up, no push-up bra, and still wearing my t-shirt and sneakers, but still ended up with a guy at the bar asking for my number. I also discovered I'm a lot older than I used to be, because I used to be just entertained and flattered by the guys who try to dance too close, and now I just feel awkward and a bit annoyed. Honestly, a girl can't dance with her friends without it being assumed she's just waiting for a guy to come up and grind with her? and to think I used to roll my eyes when some of my friends complained about this 5 years ago.

[spot-on]

Yep I loved that article too Aithinne. It just really bugs me when women hold themselves to a standard that isn't achievable because it isn't real. Unless you go for extreme repeated plastic surgery it's not going to happen. They are taking thin models and making them thinner? WTF? Unless women are going to have ribs removed it's just not happening naturally! Almost every photo we see is photoshopped in some way, whether just lighting, evening out skin tones or the digital implants, teeth whitening, and instant diet, etc In that article Jamie Curtis said it took 13 people THREE HOURS to make her look that way!!! Yeah and THEN they'd photoshop the photo after! Wow! No wonder women have body issues

[Aithinne]

This is why I totally loved Jamie Lee Curtis' photoshoot when she was photographed exactly how she looks. It's so refreshing to see something real in the media. Props to women in the media who are the real "what you see is what you get" types.

[anna k]

spot on, those photos pre-Photoshop usually make me feel good to see. I like seeing that the stars have wrinkles, bags under their eyes, freckles, softness in various body places, and this more human and natural look than what ends up in the finished photo. Some look tired in the pictures, so I can see why they'd clean them up, but it's refreshing to see some ladies with lumps and bumps and spots.

buttercups, I love reading your posts, you're so insightful and interesting and special. Thank you so much for your kind words, it really touched me.

[buttercups]

Thank you so much ladies, you really don't know how much you are my life-line. All of your words mean so much to me and I really do think of them often and remember everything you say. You Busties have changed my life for the better and really make me want to work hard towards changing how I think about myself, so for that I can't thank you enough.

Starship, you sound amazingly hot to me. I'm always surprised at how much the grass is always greener and how we all seem to want something we don't have. For me I would love to be bigger and taller and have small boobs. I've always thought that if I wasn't this size then at least people would know I was a grown adult haha. I've seen a lot of taller, small breasted girls and I am always envious of them! My brother-in-law's cousin is not this itty bitty petite short girl and almost has breasts as small as me and I look at her in awe because she is absolutely stunning, as I know you are too. Everything falls so beautifully on her frame and not once would you look at her and not find her to be a gorgeous woman. Men fall all over themselves for her, so I guess I've always thought that some extra inches and a bigger bone structure would do wonders for me. But thank you so much for your kind words and you should know that there are plenty of girls (me definitely included) who would love to look like you! I also want to say congrats on speaking up when your mom said that about the celebrity. God I can completely relate to how you feel when she says things like that. My mom is definitely into looks and we can't even sit through a whole tv show together without her commenting on everyone's body. I think it's really great you stood up to her instead of staying silent, hopefully she will get the message soon that her comments are hurtful. Maybe we can give our mothers a lesson of their own. I've already decided that if I have a daughter I'm definitely going to tell her that she's beautiful, but I'm not going to fixate on her looks either and I'm going to make sure she knows that there is much more to her than her appearance. And the one thing I am never going to do is act insecure or comment negatively about my body around my daughter. My mom has always said bad things about herself around me, and still does even though I told her to stop, and it makes me feel worse about myself whenever I hear her call herself fat or whatever else she says. We can definitely be different for our daughters and instill positive messages. whoa..what a rant!

Angie21, that is so insightful I will definitely take your suggestion and try to write down where those feelings are coming from. I too have noticed that I feel worse about my body when I am stressed or when things just aren't going right. It's like I take all of my anger and frustrations out on this poor body. Thank you so much for being so encouraging, you really make me consider things differently.

Spot-on, you are so adorable and uplifting. You are really sweet to try to say nice things to everyone, I know you really made those girls' day like you make mine : ) And of course you're getting checked out, I can tell from your fantastic personality that you are one hot commodity!

Nbdx0645, I can really relate to you. A lot of your posts definitely remind me of myself. You are so sweet, thank you so much. I know you're right that not all women like the same thing ( I'm not into muscle men myself haha) so why should we think that all men are? The "sex meltdown" is awful and I really hope that you aren't experiencing that anymore. Getting wonderful posts from people like you is really going to help me keep those feelings at bay.

Anna K, you are always so sweet and I can tell you are such a kind-hearted, warm person. Anyone would be lucky to have a friend like you and I hope that everyone in your life appreciates you as much as us Busties do.

Enfermera, thank you so much for being so encouraging. I have felt like I've been failing a lot lately at defeating this problem, but you really made me re-think that. Thank you for noticing a change in me and for making me feel like I have made some progress and I can keep going. It really means a lot.

I don't know where I would be without this forum, but I think I can say with some certainty it would not be pretty. All of you are an inspiration to me and I hope I can get over this and help some other girls just like you've all been helping me. You all rock!

<3 always, buttercups

[spot-on]

See though Angie this is part of the problem. The celebs in films and ads etc look NOTHING like that in real life! In films they adapt lighting, make up etc to flatter the celebs, in ads and mags there is photoshop! If anyone has checked out photoshopdisasters.blogspot.com they'll know of the stuff I talk about. Where celebs are airbrushed within an inch of their life, where size 4 models are made to look thinner and taller beyond all recognition of a real human woman (ralph lauren ad)! Celebs are given flawless skin, thinner bodies, bigger boobs, more fuller hair, whiter teeth and eyes and goodness knows what else!

For those wondering the power of photoshop check out these links:

Mad PS skills: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kd1VV9caAYk

Celebs before and after: http://www.hemmy.net/2007/05/25/celebritie...fter-photoshop/
more before/after: http://current.com/1n8hm4c

and the dove one naturally
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pcFlxSlOKNI...feature=related

What we see as an end result isn't what the people look like IRL. No wonder women have a distorted body image when we're competing with artificial breasts and artificial images that the media portrays! I'd like to go back in time and uninvent photoshop and implants, I think the world was a happier place then!

One thing that is true, is that it is those celebrities "job" to look beautiful 24/7, but it sure the fuck isn't my job, so why should I try to do the same thing? I'm not getting paid to look good - or at least, "good" in the way that they look. I think I look just fine myself. They get paid to look "beautiful" in magazine ads for hair dye and make-up and perfume, but I have to pay to try to look like them. It's celebrities jobs to sell us that body image so that we will covet a certain way of appearance and pay money for it. Well fuck that.

[spot-on]

I actually think the reason I've been checked out a few times this past week is my confidence went up, I carried myself differently, felt good in the clothes I wore and that just radiated out. I think I smile more to myself when I am feeling more confident in myself and that attracts attention also.

One thing I've started doing recently is when I see a woman who I think looks good, I tell them! We women don't hear it often enough from other women! I've told two women in the last couple of days that they look pretty in what they were wearing (they had great tops on). One was small chested, one not, both looked great in the clothes they were wearing. They could be a bustie for all I know, they could have depression issues, I like to think I made their day a little happier and made them feel better about themselves, even if just for 5 minutes It's my new mission. Plus it helps my own self confidence, actually approaching strangers in an intimate fashion outside my usual comfort zone. My gameplan is to also compliment small boobed ladies that I admire and think look good when I see them rather than just looking in awe at their hotness! Imagine if it were one of us and we didn't know. Or they didn't know how hot they looked! All women have insecurities whatever their boob size, hair color, or body shape. If I can help them feel better then great! Pay it forward I say!

[angie_21]

yes, exactly what enfemera said! Just remember, don't be too hard on yourself for how you feel, because that's how bad feelings snowball into a bit of a meltdown. Enfemera, I'm only 5'7 but it's all in my legs and I think I'd still feel gangly if I was 300 pounds. But while I'm being clumsy and tripping over things and feeling funny looking, everyone else is telling me how jealous they are of my long legs. It's a funny world.

I meant to comment on this earlier, starship, but you seem so smart and so sweet and I am so happy you are able to ignore what your mom says. It must get so aggravating. Like sport on said though, your mom is wrong about celebrities, but people choose to see what they want to believe sometimes. It sounds like your mom wants to believe these celebrities are all fake. to a certain extent it's true, but even as much as we complain about it, there's a lot of physical variation even in the very limited movie/fashion world. I think it's a much more valid complaint that there's still so little ethnic and cultural variation in today's entertainment industry, but that's for another discussion. but it's just too bad that your mom keeps pushing her own insecurities onto you.

(sorry if my language offends anyone, but I think we're all grown ups here and I do feel stongly about this.... ) One thing that is true, is that it is those celebrities "job" to look beautiful 24/7, but it sure the fuck isn't my job, so why should I try to do the same thing? I'm not getting paid to look good - or at least, "good" in the way that they look. I think I look just fine myself. They get paid to look "beautiful" in magazine ads for hair dye and make-up and perfume, but I have to pay to try to look like them. It's celebrities jobs to sell us that body image so that we will covet a certain way of appearance and pay money for it. Well fuck that.

[enfermera]

buttercups, just wanted to add my two cents. YOU HAVE REAL BOOBS. even at less than a AA cup, they are both real, and boobs. they are yours, and i bet they are beautiful, even if you don't always think so. if you went and got implants, then your boyfriend DEFINITELY wouldn't be touching real boobs. also this: you DO look like a woman, because you ARE a woman. from the way you describe yourself, petite with a rounded tummy, to me you sound like the fertile-looking, feminine ideal that thin, gangly people like myself (which is how i feel on MY bad days) can only dream of.

and like tree said, your bf wouldn't be around if he didn't find you attractive.

i think we all could benefit from working on stopping those negative thoughts before they run away with us. on the other hand, look at how far you've come! when you first started posting here (yeah, i was lurking for a looooooong time before i ever made a profile) you seemed to have almost NO positive self-image, at least in regards to your breasts, and if i remember correctly, these meltdowns happened with much more frequency. you've really done a lot of work since then, and made a lot of progress! don't be discouraged, babe. everyone has days like these. keep your chin up, and don't rule out therapy, you might find yourself ready for it some day.

[anna k]

Buttercups, I agree with everyone here. You sound like a charming, beautiful young woman, so smart and funny and intriguing.

nbdx0645, I get nervous around new people too. I smile and act confident and engaged, but feel like inside they can sense my shy nerdiness, so I try to cover it up with brevity and confidence.

On a side note I have been "checked out" a few times within the past week by guys

Woo-hoo, spot on!

Tree, that was such a great post. I wholeheartedly agree. When you have confidence, you have power, and just become magnetic and irresistable.

[nbdx0645]

Buttercups, I really hope you're feeling better. I've totally been there with the "sex meltdown" thing. I'd get so nervous and upset I'd run off and apologize for the way I looked. If you feel like a professional opinion would help you develop a plan of action, you should go for it. Sometimes real life can feel insurmountable, but we're here for you. This might sound a bit rough, but we all know there are people out there who think that we should get "some D's slapped on us" ...but there are many, many people that want your breasts, and scour the internet looking for small boobs. (Delicious Flat Chest, tiny ta-ta's, adorable assets) To some, our breast size will be out of their 'ideal zone.' To others, we're in the 'goldilocks zone' (they're juuust right.)

I do agree with Spot-on. Bad clothes will RUIN YOUR DAY.

I don't have a full grasp on my own issues. I get very nervous when I'm around new people, and like starship, I get really wishy-washy when I am dealing with other stressors. Sometimes I feel like I'd be able to ingratiate better with larger breasts. I wish I could check "tittyfuck" off my to-do list. I've never heard that I have great boobs from my partners (without me soliciting for compliments) and that used to get me down. I try to relate the preferences other people have to my preferences with men. It is assumed that girls like muscle-men, but I do not. I like something different from the perceived norm. It doesn't make me weird, and it doesn't make that other person weird for not following after every body else. I really and truly believe that many guys (and girls) are telling us the truth. I also understand it's not just about validation...but it's something to think about. I also think they get tired of re-assuring us that we have very desirable tits, and the only reason why many of them want to change our breasts is because they see how much shame and sadness we go through.

I feel so much better since I joined this forum. It gave me a new perspective. I thought I was hopeless about all this. I hope this post helped. Please, don't be your worst enemy.

[spot-on]

Wow Starship I hate to say this but does your Mom have body issues herself? It seems like she isn't supportive of you at all, and often saying stuff like this when you are around. They don't ALL get it done at all! Look at all the small busted celebs we've posted here recently and know about

Mila Jovovich
Ali Larter
Keirra Knightly (like the #2 earning actress last year I believe so it isn't hurting her any with her small boobs!)
Cameron Diaz
Paris Hilton
Nicole Richie
Michelle Pfieffer
Julia Styles
Debra Messing
Kate Hudson
Clare Danes
Charleze Theron
Selma Blair
Gwynth Paltrow
Sarah Michelle Geller
Kirsten Dunst
Gwen Steffani (though ballooned during preg)
porn stars mentioned here recently
etc

Clothes are meant to look better on smallies that's why they use small chested models to model them!

It is so hard to tell now though whether someone has or hasn't had fluff bags added, esp with the newer push up increase your boobs 2 cup sizes bra's. Unless the celebs are naked or not wearing much I doubt we'd really know! Some implants are obviously fake, some not so much. Most of the 'normal' size ones though are just push up bra's I think.

The other day my mother said how she definatly thought a partic celeb had had a boobjob and when i said she hadnt (i thought it was clearly just a pair of nice sized natural boobs with a decent push-up bra) she was like 'no she's definately had them done, its part of her job, they all get it done to look good and sexy in all the costumes & dresses they have to wear, it makes them look better' etc etc etc. i cant remember her exact words but i know i found them quite cutting... i did better this time and managed to tell her i disagree (as opposed to my usual reaction of sitting silently in utter disbelief). geez mum. she'd probably try to buy me 'better' boobs if she could. you guys are my positive female rolemodel when it comes to body issues.

[spot-on]

I had a reply but then TH said everything so perfectly I was just repeating so yeah Ditto what she said

*gentle slap upside the head*

I know how you feel, I was there a week ago and have just started to come back to "loving me land". It's much nicer on there rather than "depression city". My boobs rock.

Seriously I am convinced that 80% of my self image issues are clothing related. I've been totally wearing the wrong clothes and wondering why I got depressed! I need to clear out my closet of anything not "junior style" and go from there. I've come to the conclusion that clothing can make or break our body image so I am making myself over. I tried on some tops today, tube type tops, and they look f'ing Great on our body shape! There was also a fitted dress same style and that looked good too! Like TH said I just felt more confident in what I was wearing and my posture changed and so I thought I looked better. In 'womens' clothing/tops the chest area sags where I don't fill it, then the waist is all flapping. In Juniors the chest area fits and the waist is tapered. I fill out a blouse in the juniors - I have never filled out a blouse, but the juniors FITS, it's more fitted across the bust area so it looks fuller because it's smaller rather than gaping

On a side note I have been "checked out" a few times within the past week by guys

[angie_21]

buttercups, I don't want to smack you lol. yes it is good to talk, and it is good to let those feelings out, and that is one of the reasons we are here. We're also here to tell you, you don't have to feel this way about yourself. But here's what I want you to do:

think about how you are feeling, and why. think about the things that trigger these thoughts, when they happen to you, and how your thought patterns spiral or crash into this kind of self-anger. if you need to, write it down to help yourself see the pattern. Try to avoid the things that trigger you, or to at least recognize them so that you will be able to consciously stop them from hurting you as much.

second, realise that it is OK and normal to have days when you just feel crappy about how you look. everyone has those days, I do, and often the reasons for my physical self esteem to go in the toilet are actually connected to anxiety about other things happening in my life. when I feel good, I also feel good about my body, and it's also easy to realize that it doesn't matter what my body looks like anyways. when I feel bad, or when I've just done something stupid, it's easy to tear apart my actions, my clothing choices, my thoughts and my stomach/breasts/weird eyebrows. It does happen, but the key is to recognize that you're feeling this way, and then let it go. Move on. You're judging yourself twice by first judging your size and then also judging your own feelings.

And thirdly, *slap* silly girl, you are beautiful, I know you're smart, and I know you're very sweet. Don't let the world get you down! You can and do have so much! Believe me, not all guys want a girl with gozongas. They just don't. The things you are letting yourself believe are not true, so don't let size be your scale for judging yourself, your beauty, or your value to the world.

[starship]

just doing my regular skim and couldnt resist a quick post to buttercups. By the sounds of it id love to have a body like yours! the main thing i dislike about my AAs is that i dont feel like they fit in with the rest of my body- but if i had a tiny petite frame like yours id feel far more happy about them and alot less freakish. only yesterday i was talking to a petite girl in work about how jealous i was of her being only 5ft tall with a tiny frame to match (she of course said the opposite and admired my height lol- typical). Im not that tall or anything but i still always envy my smaller friends. anyway, im 100% positive even without knowing you that your bf finds you hot. lots of guys i know have told me they love women with figures like yours- and no, they werent dodgy sorts with a schoolgirl fetish. i think they find it sexy (thats right, sexy) because they get to feel all manly and protective. It sounds like your bf has sex issues of his own anyway so if anything hes probably worrying more about that than what your boobs look like. I totally understand your body issues- i could tell you something i dislike about every single part of my body- but just wanted to say that you sound completely gorgeous to me and are probably hot as hell

oh, and how annoying is the post-period boob deflation:(. every single month i get excited that maybe this time its for keeps & im finally starting to grow then...bam byebye boobies. sighh when will i learn

spot-on i lovedd the story about your grandma & her flapper dresses:D

The other day my mother said how she definatly thought a partic celeb had had a boobjob and when i said she hadnt (i thought it was clearly just a pair of nice sized natural boobs with a decent push-up bra) she was like 'no she's definately had them done, its part of her job, they all get it done to look good and sexy in all the costumes & dresses they have to wear, it makes them look better' etc etc etc. i cant remember her exact words but i know i found them quite cutting... i did better this time and managed to tell her i disagree (as opposed to my usual reaction of sitting silently in utter disbelief). geez mum. she'd probably try to buy me 'better' boobs if she could.
you guys are my positive female rolemodel when it comes to body issues.

[buttercups]

Wow Treehugger, that was the best smack ever. Anytime I feel this self-deprecation coming on again I'm going to read over your post, you are absolutely right and I want to try so hard to internalize everything you said. Thank you so so much * hug *

<3 buttercups

[treehugger]

hey buttercups,

here's an ever so gentle smack upside the head.

If your boyfriend wasn't happy with you he. wouldn't. be. there. Period.

Any woman, ANY woman, regardless of boob size, if she carries herself well and she is PROUD of herself, will attract eyes, I swear!! One of the most gorgeous women I know is an AA. And she turns heads and men drool and some women too, and, she is HOT and she knows it and her boobs become secondary. People are looking at her eyes, because they are confident. They are looking at her lips, because they are self-confidently smiling. And if they look at her boobs, well, they just fit her!

Do NOT judge yourself. If for nothing else, because if you FEEL inadequate, you will radiate that to the outer world. And then they will see you as inadequate, because unconsciously you are carrying yourself, walking, treating yourself like you should be an apology!

Your body is a thing of beauty. It can give pleasure, it can cause pain, it is a miraculous thing. It is yours to do what you want. And if you choose to hate it, to denigrate it because your breasts aren't as large as you think they should be? Yeah, here's another thwack on the head (ever so gentle, of course.)

The world is a better place for you, Buttercups. Do. Not. Forget. That.

Ever so lovingly and fellow small breastedly,

TH

[buttercups]

Ugh Busties, I lost the battle with my body again last night. This is the week after my period so any little boobage I got from my pill is now gone and I'm back to...well being less than a AA I guess. My bf wanted to have sex and he has performance anxiety so this was kind of like a first for him being more of the aggressor and I freaked out at him seeing my body and ruined it. I feel like the more I try to accept myself the further I move away from acceptance. I just can't for the life of me see myself as sexy in this little tiny body, I see myself as a little girl and a disappointment to my bf, who will never touch real boobs again if he stays with me. I know this is so negative, but it's what I've been struggling with lately. And the problem has moved from my boobs to everywhere else. I now see my shortness as being unsexy, my stubby legs, my belly thats too big for such a small frame, my childish face that never looks pretty to me no matter what I do to it- how much makeup I wear or how I style my hair. I know I'm being too hard on myself and that I'm way too much of a perfectionist when it comes to judging myself. I'm not perfect, I'm never going to be, but I have trouble accepting how far away from perfect I really am. I know my bf's not perfect, but at least he's fully developed and looks like a man, you can't dispute that. There's nothing little boy about him at 6' and 190 lbs. I feel selfish for keeping him in a relationship with me when he could be with someone pretty who looks like a woman. Haha I know you ladies are going to have it out for me with this post, but I guess I'm hoping you'll all smack me back into shape. Why is it that everyone else can get over this and I'm still struggling? I know I should see a therapist or something and just get over it, but I'm way too embarrassed to talk about this and I know I never will be able to. Just seems that taking on such a negative body image on my own isn't really working. I have days where I feel more confident than most and feel like I can take it on, but I always end up back here. Maybe it's because I really am smaller than everyone else and I've just found it hard to relate to people being upset with B cups and things I can only dream of having with silicone pumped in my body ( not to diss my B cup girls I know you struggle too). Bah. Give me a big old smack out of this self-pity ladies, I can take it!

[spot-on]

oooh that's very pretty! Thanks for the heads up!

[nbdx0645]

Urban Outfitters has a new triangle-style bralette available online:
http://www.urbanoutfitters.com/urban/catal...;navAction=jump

I just picked up the blush and turquoise colors. It's cheap and pretty Most of their bralettes have a mesh linining in them which helps subdue your hi-beams. Your nips will be a bit noticeable if you're wearing light-colored, tight-fitting clothing.

Also, another note on their bralettes: the Camellia line has seaming that bisects the breast...so if you're wearing tight tees, those seams will show. The Lana line does not have that design 'flaw'. From a purely aesthetic standpoint, the Camellia line has a much more beautiful lace pattern. Even if you wear padded bras all the time, it might be something nice for around the house. They are super-light on support. I'm very tiny and I still get a bit of a jiggle-wiggle if I jump in them.