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> small breast support group - (I need it even if they don't)
karategrrl
post Aug 16 2010, 07:26 AM
Post #1161


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OMG, I just found this on the internet. Very interesting points:

-Cosmetic surgery rarely provides mental relief from perceived body flaws.
-Some physicians actually refuse to perform procedures rather than take the money and run. Good for them.

http://www.lifespan.org/news/2010/08/11/do...rphic-disorder/
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karategrrl
post Aug 16 2010, 06:33 AM
Post #1162


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Miscellaneous thaoughts:

-I forgot who posted about the movie "The Runaways." Saw it last night and it was awesome. Small tits and all!

-Another movie I saw recently: the documentary Good Hair." Okay, it's about African-American hair, not breasts, but I really learned a lot! African-American women go through serious dilemmas in regard to their hair because straighter, relaxed hair is regarded as "better" in our society. They go to all sorts of crazy efforts and EXPENSE to get it, and all along the way, other people (natural hair "weave" suppliers, hair product manufacturers, salon owners, etc.) are getting rich for the women trying to "fix" this "problem." (Like breast implants? Hmm?)

Women want to men to like their hair, want to feel they can be competitive in the workplace, etc.--and feel they can't compete unless they have "good hair" which, of course, is NOT the hair they were born with. There are so many parallels in this movie to the breast size/implant issue. I highly recommend this film. I came away wanting to run up to every woman with a weave and liberate her and encourage her to embrace her god-given, natural, beautiful hair. I remember the '70s, and people walking around with natural Afros. I haven't seen an Afro in decades! WTF!! Afros are natural, as are small breasts. Nowadays people get weaves (other people's hair woven onto your head--it's really freakish to see) and water bags implanted under their chests to look "good." And this is progress? WTF is wrong with all of us? Okay, enough on that topic!

-Limousine, we've all benefited from your post. Thanks for de-lurking! It really opened my eyes to what goes on inside when you have BDD. I really like your positive affirmations--it's very good for everyone to think good thoughts, whether they have BDD or not.

-Yes, it is infuriating and frustrating beyond belief to see TEENS with big tits. I admit it drives me nuts, especially when you see a bit of pretty bra peeking out--the type which I either can't find in my size or I feel looks dumb on me anyway.

-I also feel insecure when it comes to my man meeting my great-looking or well-endowed friends, especially since his staring his been an issue with us--not just with women with big breasts but just in general. He has that staring affliction that affects so many men ( I call it MSS--Male Staring Syndrome) though I must say he's improved, at least in my presence.

Funny story on the above, though--I recently made a friend who's a total cutie and who has good-sized breasts. A bunch of us went out to see a band this weekend. This friend was there. Before the set, she told me she had a thing for the lead singer. She proceeded to dance around in front of the stage all night. Of course, I was concerned about my hubby being a little too interested in her bouncing tits, but I decided not to let it ruin my evening. The next day he commented and I realized that he'd noticed, but not in the way I thought he might: He said it was totally obvious the way she was trying to get the singer's attention (I had not told him this so he totally picked up on it himself) and he noticed because she was like, (his words): "Tits! Tits! Look at my tits!!" Bwahahahaha!

-One final thought: Ladies, don't assume that men ONLY stare at large breasts. On more than one occasion in my life, I've caught men staring at my chest, especially while I was in a sports top. Seems that many men like nipples/breasts in general, independent of size. One of these times the guy staring was my friend's fiance. She has larger breasts than I, and was right there when he was doing it. Another time, a guy in the gym I barely knew commented on how great I looked when I was working out my chest. I mumbled something about how "Well, when you don't have big boobs, you have to do other things" and he looked at me like I was nuts and said, "I wouldn't change a thing!"

The rare times it's happened, I've been like "Whaaa??" but it is interesting.
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buttercups
post Aug 16 2010, 05:11 AM
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QUOTE(limousine @ Aug 15 2010, 07:04 PM) *
I just spent the weekend with two of my best friends from out of town who have huge boobs and flaunt them more often then not. One of them is especially fit with huge ones that cannot go unnoticed. I secretly don't want them to meet my boyfriend. I know they will meet one day and I just dread that day. Has anybody else ever felt this? Part of it is jealousy, and a lot of it is feeling inadequate, like he will totally notice their chests and it just serves as a reminder of how small mine are.


Yes I've definitely felt like this- story of my life! My bf's friends' gfs all have really big boobs and I'm terrified that it emphasizes my inadequacies even more. Every time we hang out with them it makes me feel insecure and like he is thinking that he would rather be with someone like that. Or I wonder if when I'm not around the topic ever comes up with his friends and he's the one who's stuck with the really small boobed girl. Though I can't even watch TV/ movies with him without feeling this way a lot of the time. Anytime a topless woman is shown in a movie we're watching together- which let's face it is all the time- I always think he's thinking -" what happened to her" when he sees a normal-sized chest. It definitely hurts and causes problems in our relationship. I convince myself that there is no way he could be attracted to someone like me over a girl with breasts that are at least an A cup. And if you go by that standard then I feel that he is more attracted to every other woman besides me, because just about every woman has reached at least an A it seems. *sigh *

And yes I hate getting outbreasted by teenagers. Since I started wearing padded bras though at least I'm the only one who really notices it now. I used to be so embarrassed if people saw me next to a 13 year old who had bigger boobs than me when I was in my twenties!
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limousine
post Aug 15 2010, 06:04 PM
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Definitely, being outboobed by teenagers is upsetting. It just gets that script running in my mind about being 25 and a 15 year old having a more womanly body then me.

I just spent the weekend with two of my best friends from out of town who have huge boobs and flaunt them more often then not. One of them is especially fit with huge ones that cannot go unnoticed. I secretly don't want them to meet my boyfriend. I know they will meet one day and I just dread that day. Has anybody else ever felt this? Part of it is jealousy, and a lot of it is feeling inadequate, like he will totally notice their chests and it just serves as a reminder of how small mine are.
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starship
post Aug 15 2010, 12:23 PM
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QUOTE(spot-on @ Aug 13 2010, 11:09 PM) *
I think is a huge factor for me. Sick and tired of being outbreasted by teenagers when I am nearly 40 for heavens sake!!!


don't even get me started on this! I just had a family holiday with two of my cousins. One is older and never shuts up about her big boobs but the other is 14 and seriously has a perfect body already. Every Single part of her is flawless, it's insane. Including her boobs obviously, which is the worst part for me. She already looks older than me (as someone pointed out). We both bought the same bikini, which was on offer somewhere, but there's no way I would ever wear it within 100meters of her, it would be so embarassing.
Why couldn't I be born into a family of normal looking women with average(not even small!) boobs. It just exacerbates my problems and makes me feel like crap. the runt of the litter.

loved reading your post limousine. part of it for me is definitely wanting the ability to make a man's draw drop like you said. I want that unique sexual power that comes with breasts.
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buttercups
post Aug 14 2010, 05:40 AM
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awww spot-on i havent seen you feel this way since you started posting i dont think. im sorry that these feelings have hit you all of a sudden - is there something else going on in your life that you are taking out on your breasts? I find that whenever im really stressed out i tend to get worse and worse about my chest and feel even more horrible about it. could it be something like that? in any event, sending small boobie strength your way and hope you are feeling better today. : (
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spot-on
post Aug 13 2010, 05:09 PM
Post #1167


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Hi Limousine! Thanks for delurking and posting, I think it helps us all when we have discussions on here so please continue to post with points, doubts, etc. I think we all on this board have all felt exactly how you described in your initial post. I know that lately I have been back in the "my small breasts are the root of all my problems" headspace. I have even been seriously thinking about implants and you all know I WAS doing really well regarding my breast size for a long while. I cannot even put my finger on the particular trigger! Some switch just flipped and here I am again fretting about my breasts. Which is one of the reasons I haven't posted lately, which is pretty ironic considering that's what the boards for?

QUOTE
And why is it so hard to see that a gaggle of 14-year-olds are more developed than you?


I think is a huge factor for me. Sick and tired of being outbreasted by teenagers when I am nearly 40 for heavens sake!!!

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limousine
post Aug 12 2010, 10:05 PM
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Thanks for the replies buttercups and nbdx0645.

It being all mammaries is part of my BDD story, just like Lindsay Lohan's career is part of my BDD story (I can't imagine her still being in the spotlight if she had small breasts)...anyways...

I think it goes to show that BDD makes you think there is nothing behind it other then your appearance. Your appearance is the pressure valve; the very something else behind BDD is what is so hurtful and painful that you need to be convinced the whole problem of your life lies in your appearance. That is the crutch, the pressure release for the anxiety you experience.

There are so many times I have isolated myself based on my appearance; not knowing what to wear, having a bad skin or hair day, not feeling hot enough. And many times I have dreaded going out with some of my dearest friends because those are the girls with the 32D or DD's who think that breasts are nothing (please, they have no idea...and here I go back into my BDD story).

Just some thoughts...
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nbdx0645
post Aug 12 2010, 05:46 PM
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Hi limousine, I'm glad you delurked. I read through your story and felt the need to respond.

I've been depressed about my breasts since I was about 14. Deep down inside, I knew they'd never be noticeable. If I got implants, it wouldn't be because I wanted them. I would do it so I wouldn't worry about people judging me or making fun of me. I was teased by 'friends' all the way through college. I also had family issues about breasts that really ruined my relationship between me and my mother. You spend a lot of time wondering, "What does my lack of noticeable breasts advertise to everybody else?" It sucks because breasts can be directly linked to sexuality and femininity.

It's hard to cut through the clutter, and some of it is coming from outside forces, some of it can come from those we love, but we can be the filter that stops the message from getting through. I have to believe that the 'whole' is greater than the sum of its parts. Breasts simply cannot be the key to having happiness, confidence, sexiness, or whatever else is quintessential to a perfect life.

The biggest issue with small breasts is when the seething hatred for your body comes from within. I still miss out on large social events because I can't handle my anxiety. And why is it so hard to see that a gaggle of 14-year-olds are more developed than you? I have apologized about my chest to every partner I've been with, and the good ones have been really supportive. I do wish that I could take my top off and see my man's jaw hit the floor, or catch a guy staring at them, but what would that really do for me and my sense of 'self?' Would I finally feel the validation I've been so starved for? What will finally make these feelings of inadequacy and embarrassment go away?

...Or is the issue deeper than mammaries? For me, I still don't know that answer.

This forum has been a big help for me. I was too scared to talk about it to others. I no longer wear a padded bra, and I'm much more comfortable physically, and that helps me think about it less. I wish the sadness could go away completely. It's amazing how small breasts can really get in the way of your life.
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buttercups
post Aug 12 2010, 01:26 AM
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Wow limousine, it sounded like I wrote that! I can completely 100% relate to everything you said and I have BDD too. I know that if society did not put this huge emphasis on big breasts, then I would feel fine about my super small ones. That fact just infuriates me because I know that if this wasn't the way things were then I would have had a normal life without all my depression and anxiety. I would be able to have a normal relationship without worrying about my bf thinking im inadequate or checking out ANY other girl with breasts bigger than mine (which is pretty much everyone cause I'm like a AAA). I see bigger boobs as freedom- my sister has much bigger boobs and she has never worried about any of the things that I do. She has a healthy relationship with her husband and has always felt beautiful and never once was ashamed to take off her clothes in front of him. She has just been spared all the humiliation that I've felt throughout my life and I'm grateful that she has, but at the same time I really long for that freedom from my body. My body has held me back in so many ways and I even stayed in a bad, loveless relationship for years because I was too insecure to find someone else and was too terrified of the idea that I would have to show someone else my chest. I even remember the moment my now bf of a couple years first reached for my chest and the horror I felt, especially because there was so much padding! Girls who have regular to bigger sized breasts don't experience this. I have let my small chest run my life in a lot of ways and I've improved a lot since I came here, but I still feel incomplete and wonder what it would be like to even be an A cup. It's sad when I feel the need to get breast implants just to be an A, I really wouldn't go much bigger than that. Though I try to work on myself every day, implants still crosses my mind alot. That was just a vent I wasn't expecting to have...

Anyways, thanks for posting because it helps to have one more woman in the world to relate to. That's why I love this forum, you all help so much just by sharing your stories.
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limousine
post Aug 11 2010, 08:13 PM
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Hi everyone!

I've been lurking on this thread for a few months now and thought I would share my story and contribute. You have all been of great support to me.

I just started therapy for BDD as well as taking an anti-depressant/anti-anxiety (Cipralex - sidenote: I never thought I'd get to the point of taking medication for BDD!). I've had BDD for about 10 years, although undiagnosed. My focus has been on different aspects of my appearance but my breasts are one of two revolving doors. In the past 5 months I've really gone downhill with the BDD on small breast focus.

I've experienced a lot of frustration over the fact that I must change since society will not change. Either I change how I feel about my appearance or I change my appearance (breast augmentation). I know that my problem is closely related to social perception, meaning that if small breasts were highly valued that I would not have this disabling insecurity. Another one of my strong beliefs is that women with small versus large breasts will lead different lives; the impact of breasts is huge and invades in all these little areas of life that those with big breasts can't know or understand. Another one is also that in the appearance department breasts are a trump card; I could get all dolled up to go out (dress, heels, makeup, hair, jewelry) and any random girl with no effort but showing off her cleavage would outshine me. And of course, the classic "I can't be with a guy who doesn't prefer small breasts" or "I can't be with a guy prefers big breast" has made me cry quite a bit.

I have had four therapy sessions (going weekly) so far and our goal has been to identify this make believe reality story that is BDD. The more you are affected by BDD, the more elaborate and airtight (or bulletproof) is your story. Not only do you only see selective parts of reality, you find explanations for any incoherence that just come to prove your point about small breasts.

In reality however, and that this the other story I am trying to better develop, breasts are just one of hundreds and thousands of things about a person. I've been working on making neutral and/or positive affirmations about my appearance in general, and a bit about my breasts. For example: "my appearance is in the norm", "my appearance will not be detrimental in my job/career", "my breasts can be pleasing to others". I have a longer list that I try to read as often as possible to give more weight to this new alternate reality.

The point I am at right now is realizing that the breast focus tends to be geared towards sexual desire. In other words I admit that if some relatives were evaluating my appearance against somebody else's that my breast size wouldn't really be a huge deal (even if the other girl had big ones). However, if we are talking about boyfriends, guy friends, random men then I would say that its a huge weight on the scale. Apparently BDD is closely tied with sexuality.

I have to admit that there is something deeper behind BDD; focusing on something you can't change is a very convenient way to transfer all the blame....blame for failure, rejection, etc. After all there are aspects of my appearance that could be improved easily (ex: nail chewing, teeth whitening) and who do not preoccupy me at all (I guess you could reply that are less sexualized socially). BDD offers a coping mechanism for pressure (especially anxiety). I would also comment that prior to taking Cipralex I would have sworn I was not an anxious person, just depressed. However, the truth is that I was experiencing so much appearance anxiety that it was becoming just negative and causing me to be depressed!

I figure this post is a lot about BDD, maybe more then small breasts. I get the drift that many of the posters on the forum are struggling with BDD.
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nbdx0645
post Aug 2 2010, 09:03 PM
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I was linked to a site "Things Republicans Hate" today. (The article I was linked to was about yoga, which I enjoy doing. It made me chuckle.) And when I saw the archives, look what I found at number 14 (out of 65) it's "Women With Small Breasts"

http://thethingsrepublicanshate.com/?p=55

I don't want to get the Left and the Right into a tizzy over the article, but I thought it was kind of interesting. Do partners feel that they need to confess and/or convey their sexuality through the appearance of their 'other half'?
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anarch
post Jul 29 2010, 03:20 PM
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Late to the party, but just wanted to say,

QUOTE(starship @ Jul 18 2010, 08:22 AM) *
finally found it! you definately couldnt be mistaken for a guy and those are some smokin hips you got there:)


seconded! We're always our own worst critics...
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strongirl
post Jul 28 2010, 08:44 PM
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LOL, me too, that is just too funny. smile.gif

I am taking burlesque classes and (maybe) getting ready to perform with this really awesome burlesque group and last week there was a class taught by a (very nice, I must say) chick who is a professional swimsuit model. But she has the bleached blonde hair, the fake tan, the fake boobs. My BF went along for the class since it is held at a bar - he drinks beer and reads a book while I take classes there. And on our break, he looks at me and says "I just gotta tell you, you're WAY hotter than her, just so you know." What a sweetie. We had a very good conversation (not really new territory for us but nice to revisit) about implants and why he does not like them. The "ick factor", the texture (or lack of the 5 ounce bounce), the bizarre proportions, etc. As I said, not really anything new, but so nice to just have him to talk to about this stuff in such a supportive and open way. I don't think I'm really hotter than her (I mean she's a swimsuit model and I'm a software developer, right?) and besides, it ain't a competition, but I do agree with some of the recent posts below. Lots of guys don't like implants. nuff said
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spot-on
post Jul 28 2010, 02:28 PM
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hahaha love it! Gonna be using that for sure! laugh.gif


QUOTE(karategrrl @ Jul 27 2010, 07:57 AM) *
5-ounce bounce

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karategrrl
post Jul 27 2010, 10:57 AM
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QUOTE(spot-on @ Jul 26 2010, 05:03 PM) *
No bouncing NOTHING! Shit I have small tits but DAMN they MOVE when I jump up and down! Life in plastic - it's fantastic?

laugh.gif laugh.gif laugh.gif laugh.gif laugh.gif I'll take my ittie bittie 5-ounce bounce over that!!
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spot-on
post Jul 26 2010, 12:03 PM
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Yep I live pretty near Los Angeles, just far enough out to avoid the traffic, but close enough for day trips, just how I like it! Yep plastic is prevalent here, not just in the breasts either, butt implants, lip enlargements, botox and who knows what else!!! Yes men generally don't like the falsies, sure they look (they are men afterall) but most of my guy friends say they are only interested real women with all their own body parts.

Interesting Book buttercups! Glad it's helping you feel better!!!!


On a side note we watched "american virgin" over the weekend, some american pie type film with a 'girls gone wild' spin off within the film. One girl lifted her top up to reveal implants and jumped up and down a'la Girls Gone Wild, and THEY DIDN'T EVEN FREAKIN MOVE!!!! No bouncing NOTHING! Shit I have small tits but DAMN they MOVE when I jump up and down! Life in plastic - it's fantastic?
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karategrrl
post Jul 26 2010, 07:03 AM
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I had to share: I met a friend's brother this weekend. He lives in Los Angeles, Land of Plastic-ness. He's single, and was kind of laughing about how every other girl he meets in that city has breast implants and says, "I feel so much better about myself now!" He was like, "As soon as I hear that, I know the conversation is over and this girl in NOT someone I'm interested in." Men who like real women in their natural form DO exist, ladies.

thanks for the "Body Wars" mention, buttercups. Another cool book I've been reading is the classic, "Your Erroneous Zones." Great section in there I read over the weekend about how advertising gets us to dislike ourselves--just so we can then buy some product or service to "fix" ourselves.
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buttercups
post Jul 25 2010, 09:58 AM
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Off-topic, but I've been reading the book "Body Wars" and i think its really helping me to feel better about this whole small chest issue. If anyone else is struggling right now with their bodies (it is summer and all!) then I really recommend it. It makes you feel almost stupid for buying into all this societal crap about what we're supposed to look like. The only thing about it that pissed me off was she referred to girls with thinner, less-curvy body types as "boyish". I frickin hate that! I understand that you're trying to send the message that girls shouldn't starve themselves and should be proud of their size, but that shouldn't come at the expense of us straight up-and-down ladies without all the curves. Once you get past the boyish, its a great read though.
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spot-on
post Jul 22 2010, 07:18 PM
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From: California


EXACTLY! What's healthy about putting plastic in your chest??? And we're supposed to be promoting NATURAL ways to shape the body, if your gonna go the plastic surgery route, then why not get lipo etc when you get the implants? Kinda screwed up if you ask me!

Yep she is great, and knows what she's talking about too! Brains and looks!

QUOTE(karategrrl @ Jul 22 2010, 04:19 AM) *
Yeah! How can one promote health while sporting implants (full of potential complications and health consequences)?? How can one promote love and pride in one's self while sporting evidence that you didn't accept your breasts the way they were?

OMG yes, she's GREAT. Thanks for sharing.

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