[Queen Bull]

QueenBull - I had almost convinced myself that God didn't exist. That is, until I went to my first service at this new church. The pastor brought me to tears. I was saved that day two weeks ago. My life is changed. I know if you trust in God and pray to him and know that he WILL lead you to the right church. I have to say that I was always looking for a church that worked with my life and I think I was wrong in that way of thinking. As a Christian I have to work my life around God. It's not about the church although, I have to admit I love, love, love my new church. I want to be there all the time and I would if there was service daily but unfortunately there isn't.

thanks for your kind words. <3's

[LoveMyPugs]

*pugs* im super glad you found a church that you like and feel connected too. I have always been of the belief that in order to 'find' the right church for you, you just have to let it come to you. it sounds like God delivered Luke to help you find him, and im so happy for you. I personally am still on that search, and i can only hope for an experience like yours.

<3's

*hugs to all*

QueenBull - I had almost convinced myself that God didn't exist. That is, until I went to my first service at this new church. The pastor brought me to tears. I was saved that day two weeks ago. My life is changed. I know if you trust in God and pray to him and know that he WILL lead you to the right church. I have to say that I was always looking for a church that worked with my life and I think I was wrong in that way of thinking. As a Christian I have to work my life around God. It's not about the church although, I have to admit I love, love, love my new church. I want to be there all the time and I would if there was service daily but unfortunately there isn't.

[Queen Bull]

thirtiesgirl - i just have to say that i don't feel like your post below added anything at all to the discussion at hand but whatever. you believe and feel what you believe and feel so follow your own path in life.

back to the topic at hand...

i love this church i'm attending. i've jumped in with both feet. i want to be there all the time. i really am a changed, saved person. the people are wonderful at this church and i've never felt so accepted. i'm working towards living a more christian life. i'm not going to go into details because after thirtiesgirl's post i feel like if i post what's really going on in my life that i'll get a lot of crap for it and i don't feel like defending my newly discovered beliefs and desires.

just wanted to let you know konphusion26, kittenb, and beck that things are gong wonderfully. i've even gotten mr. pugs to go with me once and he actually liked the minister. he's going to go again this weekend. the minister asked me to testify this weekend and share my story with others in the church. i'm making plans to be baptized and even trying to get some informaiton on mr. pugs and i getting married there in the near future. i've never been so happy. i know i haven't been on bust nearly as much as i used to be but i've just had so many things going on in my mind and life right now. i really just wanted to thank you all for your support.

thanks again,

love you all...pugs

*pugs* im super glad you found a church that you like and feel connected too. I have always been of the belief that in order to 'find' the right church for you, you just have to let it come to you. it sounds like God delivered Luke to help you find him, and im so happy for you. I personally am still on that search, and i can only hope for an experience like yours.

<3's

*hugs to all*

[LoveMyPugs]

thirtiesgirl - i just have to say that i don't feel like your post below added anything at all to the discussion at hand but whatever. you believe and feel what you believe and feel so follow your own path in life.

back to the topic at hand...

i love this church i'm attending. i've jumped in with both feet. i want to be there all the time. i really am a changed, saved person. the people are wonderful at this church and i've never felt so accepted. i'm working towards living a more christian life. i'm not going to go into details because after thirtiesgirl's post i feel like if i post what's really going on in my life that i'll get a lot of crap for it and i don't feel like defending my newly discovered beliefs and desires.

just wanted to let you know konphusion26, kittenb, and beck that things are gong wonderfully. i've even gotten mr. pugs to go with me once and he actually liked the minister. he's going to go again this weekend. the minister asked me to testify this weekend and share my story with others in the church. i'm making plans to be baptized and even trying to get some informaiton on mr. pugs and i getting married there in the near future. i've never been so happy. i know i haven't been on bust nearly as much as i used to be but i've just had so many things going on in my mind and life right now. i really just wanted to thank you all for your support.

thanks again,

love you all...pugs

[thirtiesgirl]

I just noticed this thread and thought I'd toss my 2 cents in.

I'm a secular humanist, which means I don't believe in any supernatural forces, supreme being, or spirituality. I believe in the power of people. *I* am the ultimate power in my universe, and every week I "pray to the church of me" when I visit my therapist. I don't have anyone to blame but myself if I make a bad choice, and through therapy, I examine my choices, why I've made them, and what experiences in my life might have lead me to make that decision at that time.

I was raised in a stiflingly religious household. My mom is what I'd call 'generally' a fundamentalist christian. She never belonged to one particular church (although we attended a methodist church when I was a kid), and her stiflingly moralistic worldview was shaped by the decades she grew up in (the '40s and '50s), more than any particularly religious teachings. She's incredibly racist, homophobic, and fearful of so many things that other people have managed to accept and come to terms with (it doesn't help that she also has borderline personality disorder). Point being, her answer to a lot of the tough questions I used to ask her in my younger days (like "why do you think gay people are bad, mom?") has always been "because it says so in the bible." No thought put into her answer, no actual research done. Just blind belief because that's how she was taught.

I went to a private christian school for elementary and junior high. They didn't have a high school, or I would have attended that, too. In public high school, trying to find some kind of social life, I joined a baptist church youth group. The dinky methodist church I'd been attending didn't have any kind of youth functions, so it was time to move on. I was quite active in the youth group until I started noticing the hypocrisy. I overheard some girls complaining that their church boyfriends had taken them to an R rated movie with 'graphic' sex scenes, which they found offensive. And yet, these were the same girls who would wear the skimpiest 'look-at-me' bikinis any time we had a pool party at someone's house. It didn't add up.

Then the church started having youth seminars about the 'evils of rock music,' typically playing heavy metal songs backwards to 'reveal the satanic messages.' It was when they started discussing Depeche Mode and the 'evil, suggestive nature' of songs like Master & Servant that I'd finally had enough. (Not to mention, I was a big Depeche Mode fan at the time.) I stopped attending the youth group, started questioning my beliefs, and by the time I was in college, I realized that I really didn't believe in any kind of 'supreme being' and the only choices I trusted were my own.

Now, I know not every religious person is a judgmental, controlling hypocrite, and not all churches do ridiculous crap like play Led Zeppelin records backwards in an attempt to stop people from listening to any kind of subversive/secular music. But I grew up with those kinds of experiences in my churchified lifestyle, and it's not something I'd ever want to repeat.

I've tried other religions, including buddhism and wicca. But it's the organization that I have problems with, particularly when it comes to wicca. I mean, a bunch of people sitting around naked or half clothed in a field at midnight in November, thinking they're going to see a magic fairy? Please. It just makes me giggle. Which they really don't like you to do during the ceremony. (Apologies to any wiccans on the forum, but seriously, y'all just give me the giggles.) I've also learned that I'm just not a spiritual person. I can't believe in something I can't see or experience, and that's not going to change for me.

I do miss the sense of ceremony and community that often accompanies organized religion, but it's something I try to add to my life in other ways, through connections with friends, gatherings, etc.

...Anyway, apologies again if I've offended anyone, which wasn't my intent. I just thought I'd share my experience and how I've reached the conclusions I've reached and why I made the decisions I've made. Power to the people.

[konphusion26]

So I must say that I had some sort of "experience" yesterday. I went to this new Baptist church my friend attends for the first time. It was WON...DER...FUL!!! The pastor was so passionate. Towards the end I had tears in my eyes. Everyone around me was so friendly and I've never felt so close to people I just met in my entire life. I've never felt so good about a church service in my whole life. I felt God in my soul again for the first time since I was 10 years old. I hugged Luke the guy I work with who invited me, I hugged his wife and I talked to the pastor for 45 minutes in the parking lot. They have Bible study on Wednesday nights and I'm going. I had plans to go to a party and drink and I don't want to go. I want to go back to this church. I've haven't felt this blessed and in touch with God in so long. I'm so glad I listened to Luke, Mr. Pugs and all of you. I think this is some sort of awakening in me. It feels wonderful. I'm glad God gave me the courage to try this new church. I feel like I'm seeing the world in a new light. Yesterday was one of the greatest days of life. Thanks to you all.

YAYYYYYYYYY That is awesome! I'm glad you enjoyed yourself! I have been sitting on pins and needles waiting to hear how it went LOL God is amazing.

[LoveMyPugs]

So I must say that I had some sort of "experience" yesterday. I went to this new Baptist church my friend attends for the first time. It was WON...DER...FUL!!! The pastor was so passionate. Towards the end I had tears in my eyes. Everyone around me was so friendly and I've never felt so close to people I just met in my entire life. I've never felt so good about a church service in my whole life. I felt God in my soul again for the first time since I was 10 years old. I hugged Luke the guy I work with who invited me, I hugged his wife and I talked to the pastor for 45 minutes in the parking lot. They have Bible study on Wednesday nights and I'm going. I had plans to go to a party and drink and I don't want to go. I want to go back to this church. I've haven't felt this blessed and in touch with God in so long. I'm so glad I listened to Luke, Mr. Pugs and all of you. I think this is some sort of awakening in me. It feels wonderful. I'm glad God gave me the courage to try this new church. I feel like I'm seeing the world in a new light. Yesterday was one of the greatest days of life. Thanks to you all.

[konphusion26]

Pugs my deary, so much i want to say right now!! WHAT BAD NEWS are you waiting to hear exactly? LOL Sounds like you are at a point in your life where most people eventually get to. Looking for something to fill the void. Like Kitten said, you've got questions, and you need answers. I was there a few years ago, and Christ changed my life. I don't think you sound like a bible thumper at all. I think it is so WONDERFUL that you are exploring to find the answers you seek. Remember though, no one on this earth will ever have all the answers - Only God Does. People can let you down, for sure. I'm sorry to hear that your previous religious experiences have not been fulfilling.

One thing I will suggest is, go into the church with your mind set on expanding your personal "relationship" with God/Christ, not just a "religious" experience, because every church is different in the way they do things. I have no idea how the Baptist church does things, I go to a non-denominational Christian church. I've honestly never really gotten into or know anything about any of the denominations out there.

Also, alot of churches teach out of the King James version of the bible -- I can't understand that stuff, most people I know can't!! That's probably the one you have too. The New International Version bible is awesome and easy to comprehend. This is a good version to study from. I've learned that whatever the minister teaches during service to go home and re-read it for yourself. I have some fantastic online study resources that I use, if you'd like some. Take good notes in church girlie! LOL

I'm all excited for you chica LOL Your post really touched my heart. I'm not just saying that because I want you to "convert" to Christianity HAHA.... (people crack me up with that). It's not a brand name, its supposed to be a way of life, a relationship with our Creator, and salvation, well you'll find out more about it at church I'm sure

**This is great Pugs! Let us know how it goes. PM me if you want to talk!!!! I love this stuff** Smooches hun!

[beck]

i think your church should make you feel closer to God and the spiritual experience you are craving, and it doesn't sound like your current one is doing that. so i'd say go for it too! i agree with kitten, there is a lot to be gained from evaluating the belief system you are raised with (for me it was the same but the opposite way round, in that i was raised evangelical and ended up part of the catholic church!)

[kittenb]

pugs - overall it seems that you have been going through a lot of changes and self-evaluations about your life, what you want from it and where you want it to go. It makes sense to me that you are also looking at your belief system. Those of us who have belief in the Great Big Something in the Sky should examine our views once in awhile and make sure that they still hopld up.

Having been raised Catholic, I am not suprised that you've never read the Bible. I never did. It seems to be standard practice for Average Catholic to only read what we are told to read when we are told to read it (speaking of the Bible, not other books where I never let anyone tell me what to read.) Actually, I've been noticing that more White Catholics do not spend a lot of time in independent Bible studies. I've learned from my friends of color that were raised Catholics that it is inconcievable that I wasn't encouraged to read the Bible. Not sure what that means, but it means something.

Anyway, look for your answers. If that means finding a church that you are happy with, go for it. You are smart enough to know what is right for you.

Do I sound like some bible thumping lunatic?

Not at all. It sounds like you have questions and are finding answers.

[LoveMyPugs]

I've met this amazing guy at my work named Luke. We've been working on a project together. One day we got on the topic of religion. I'm Catholic and he's Baptist. I told him that I love being religious. I've always felt a connection with God. I told him I hate Catholicism. I told him I always have guilt. I feel that I'm disappointing God. I worry and I never feel accepted at my Catholic church. I told him I have questions. I told him some. He told me what he believes. He follows the Bible very closely. I told him in the eight years of Catholic school I went to I never once cracked a Bible. He asked me if I thought that was strange. I told him yes. He told me to get my Bible out and read a few chapters he recommended. I couldn't even find my Bible so I went and bought one. I started reading The New Testament. Him and I have been talking daily about God, Jesus, The Bible, religions in general. I feel very inspired by him. He shared with me that his wife got pregnant before they were married. That he was afraid of telling her father who was the dean at the Bible College he was attending. He said her family was shockingly very supportive. I’ve never met a Catholic who would share their personal stories, especially anything that is considered “sinful” with another person in order to share with and inspire them. I told him if that happened to me my family wouldn't have been supportive. I told him we've had a lot of problems, my family and I. I told him I've always been looking for something in my life, that I have a huge void in my life that Mr. Pugs has always tried to fill. I told him I've tried to fill that void with God but my church, being the fascists they are have made that impossible. He suggested I try his church. He said that if I called his cell phone before I arrive that he and his wife will sit with me. They will introduce me to everyone. I thought this was so kind and considerate. They really want me to come and want me to feel welcomed. He told me about when he was saved and baptized. He seems so happy and content in life even though he's had a rough life. He says he never worries because he knows God will help him through any obstacle. I've never met someone like him. I've felt different since talking to him, calmer and not so scared and sad about everything. I'm thinking I'm going to try his church. I'm thinking I might try to make some changes in my life. Do I sound like some bible thumping lunatic? Mr. Pugs says no. He's encouraging and says if it feels good and right to try it. He says just don't drink the kool aid. Am I crazy? I'm nervous but this feels really special. Luke thinks I'm on the road to salvation and that I should just trust my instinct and not be afraid. I'm not afraid but anxious and I feel like I'm waiting to hear the bad news. I'm expecting this church/religion to let me down like the Catholic Church has. Anyone have any feelings on this? Be gentle please…

[pherber]

*bump*


for crazyoldcatlady.

[doodlebug]

OOH! I'm so glad to see this thread again! I wasn't sure whether or not to resurrect it (no pun intended), because of the other thread, but the other one is not really the flavour I'm looking for....

I haven't come to terms with death and dying either. I'm struggling with my fear that there's nothing after this life. I don't want it to just end! At the same time, I think, well, maybe I'm depending on the idea of a next life as a salve to my fears of really living this one.

Feels egotistical to quote myself, but....WOW! How amazing to even find this quote! For those who don't know, about five months after I made that post, I almost DID die! And seriously, ever since then, I've been completely throwing myself into living - really living.

It's really strange, but when I was in the hospital, trying not to die, it never occured to me once - not once - to call on god or a higher power or any kind of supernatural entity to help me. I put all my faith in medical science, and my own will to live, to save me. And since then, I've become really comfortable calling myself agnostic. I don't know if I am agnostic, but I'm not really worried anymore about whether or not there is a god, or about what might or might not come after this life. It's like suddenly I'm not afraid of dying anymore - I'm afraid of dying without having lived the life I want to live.

Does that make any sense? I'm not trying to come down on religion or spirituality, but man, what a wake up call I had.

The thing is, I still consider myself a very spiritual person. I feel so fucking ALIVE these days. I feel like every atom in my being is vibrating with life. I feel connected with everything. I feel equal to everyone. I feel so happy and eager to embrace the day. And I'm hardly afraid to do anything anymore - my confidence in myself has grown eight million percent. Even though I am living a lifestyle that is kind of "regressive" for my supposed age (working 2 low-paying jobs for their flexibility and making music 'round the clock), I am finally living the life I WISHED I was living when I was still in my early twenties, but didn't have the guts to go after. And I've got music....do I ever have music.

Music, I think, has become my spirituality. I play guitar and sing, and write songs, and the songwriting has only come since nearly dying. In fact, the way I sing has only come since nearly dying. (Guitar is more a technical skill for me, that I only really started learning because I want to sing, but I am definitely becoming more "one" with the guitar - sometimes I can't keep the rhythm on the guitar if I'm not singing!) When I sing and play, I feel....I don't know how to explain this, but I definitely feel something that is not of this world. It's like being in a hypnotic trance. I totally lose myself, just like I hear about some people losing themselves in a "godly" experience. And I start channeling all this music, and my voice is just...wide open. Writing music - holy crap, I never thought that would happen, and I have no idea where it comes from, but it's just there. It's always there, in my head. It's like all these years, I've been looking for something to fill me up, and now I am completely filled up with music. I am filled with music when I walk around town, I am filled with it when I'm working - it even permeates my dreams. Often I don't even listen to music, because I'm so filled up with it already. I can't stop the music. My entire being is made of music.

Does this make any sense at all? I don't know where I'm going with this. I just had to post it.

[treehugger]

Y'know, it's sort of strange, but I do believe some things in the bible are true but are grossly misinterpreted. I have my own interpretations of such things as "sin", "heaven", "hell", "satan", "purgatory" that are pretty much COMPLETELY different from conventional interpretations. So much so that I am even hesitant to share them with anybody.

I guess everybody has their own spirituality. I don't push mine on anybody, and I don't appreciate others pushing theirs on me. I am perfectly willing to LISTEN with an open mind. I only ask the same of others.

[tesao]

muito thank you for bumping this thread, bunny be mine!

this may be a good time to repeat the purpose of this thread:

"This thread is for anyone who wants to talk about god/dess, the universe, or whatever. There are no restrictions on which belief systems are acceptable or unacceptable in this thread, but since we are talking about the spirit, everyone is asked to be RESPECTFUL in our discussions. This is a pro-spirituality thread, and I ask that everyone who wants to participate understand and honour that. Please do not denigrate the beliefs of other. Stay mindful that your truth is not the absolute truth for everyone (nor does it have to be)."

- snafooey's idea originally, continued by the lovely ms. doodlebug. no discussion or arguing here. that is the purpose of the "too much religion for me" thread.

[culturehandy]

Speaking of the solitary mediatation retreat, I think it would be really interesting to go on a vision quest.

[bunnyb]

Hey all, I thought I'd bump this thread so that some BUSTies could have a thread where they can celebrate their faith without it devolving.

[BustiRubi]

TreeHugger, i've never been on a solitary meditation backpacking trip, ihave hiked alone which really is quite refreshing...especially when you feel you need to get away from people in general...

but speaking with some people about this, I think being with people also helps you connect with yourself on a different level. I talked to a friend about going to a Buddhist retreat with her because I have always wanted to go but i've always felt like I had to go with someone for some reason....

hmmm i dk just some thoughts on that.

[konphusion26]

Imma Jesus Christ fan myself I was in the church as a young child, but didnt really begin to understand His significance until my late teens, and early 20s.

[treehugger]

HI....wow, this thread is pretty quiet.

Bumping it now.

I'm feeling kind of a need to go on a solitary meditation retreat. Has anybody here done this before? I did it once, years ago, I went backpacking solo.

Anyway...thoughts?