[thirtiesgirl]

Seriously, though. I am a jerkface. I am shocked at how you people accept me even though I am obviously Satan. You should hate me. I'm utterly awful. A horrible, awful, no-good person. I'm the bubonic plague of people; I'm fucking malignant.

I don't believe a word.

Thirties, retail therapy has it's place. Don't be beating yourself up over it. You are a pretty *SENSIBLE* shopper. You do the Bogo; where I decide that it's perfctly reasonable to spend exorbitant amounts of money on being shod. After my meetings with the lawyers last week, I dropped almost $300 at B&Lu, $400 at Emitations, & a grip on panties from like, four diff sites. Did it fill the hole in my heart? NO. But it did provide some temporary respite. I really fought dropping the $500 on the new boots, but bought a brand new plasma TV instead. And a DVD player. And a whole bunch of other shit.

I come from a long line of emotional shoppers. My gran's catchphrase was, "Well, let me BUY you something!" Because new shit always fills the hole.

I can so identify with this. The thing is, while I do shop cheap (Payless, Target, Old Navy, JC Penney sales), I don't stop. I won't just buy one or two pairs of shoes at Payless. I bought several, in the store and online. Same with clothes shopping. I'll buy some stuff at Target, but if they don't have everything I want in my size, I'll go home and check online and spend more money there.

I've learned the hard way that while it does fill a temporary need (and keeps me well shod, with a good wardrobe), my feelings of emptiness always come back to haunt me. I'm not happy with myself for not striving to be a better person. Not to mention, the constant shopping keeps me from accomplishing my other goal which is to save enough money to buy a new car (as in new to me, but used). I've been driving my Honda POS hatchback (POS = piece of shit, for those not in the know) for over 11 years and I'd love something a little newer and shinier, with maybe another set of doors. AND I've got student loans to pay, which I generally do on a monthly basis. But I've defaulted a couple of times and right now my credit is in the toilet. It's gonna take me a while to repair that one. Ach.

[CandyMandyDandy]

I've been spending A LOT on myself lately and Christmas is right around the corner. i know by the time Xmas comes all the bills will too I just couldnt help myself Gucci was having a sale

[erinjane]

Confession: Right before I got together with my boyfriend, my exboyfriend (from 3.5 years ago who I consider my first love) wrote me a really hurtful email that made me stop wanting to be happy for him and where his life is now. I get a twisted satisfaction from knowing how much more I love my boy than I ever loved him and I hope he knows it. I can't help it, I can be a bitter person sometimes!

Confession 2: I love my boy! But I'm too scared to tell him yet, even though I think he loves me too.

[bunnyb]

I am fucking the alien. I am so fucking stoked.

I think the only person who might have any idea what I'm talking about is Bunny. Maybe Sybarite.

but yes, I am fucking the alien. my dreams have come true.

I'm such a geek.

Beware the anal probe .

[auralpoison]

Seriously, though. I am a jerkface. I am shocked at how you people accept me even though I am obviously Satan. You should hate me. I'm utterly awful. A horrible, awful, no-good person. I'm the bubonic plague of people; I'm fucking malignant.

Thirties, retail therapy has it's place. Don't be beating yourself up over it. You are a pretty *SENSIBLE* shopper. You do the Bogo; where I decide that it's perfctly reasonable to spend exorbitant amounts of money on being shod. After my meetings with the lawyers last week, I dropped almost $300 at B&Lu, $400 at Emitations, & a grip on panties from like, four diff sites. Did it fill the hole in my heart? NO. But it did provide some temporary respite. I really fought dropping the $500 on the new boots, but bought a brand new plasma TV instead. And a DVD player. And a whole bunch of other shit.

I come from a long line of emotional shoppers. My gran's catchphrase was, "Well, let me BUY you something!" Because new shit always fills the hole.

[doodlebug]

Confession: I am slowly but surely realizing that the man I thought I was falling in love with is NOT same person as the man I find myself wanting to talk with almost every single day. It's not that I am thinking of jumping ship for another man. It's that what I get from the other man - as a friend alone - is making me realize what I am missing from the one who quite probably isn't the one after all.

[thirtiesgirl]

Confession: I cannot seem to stop spending money right now. I spent all weekend shopping for stuff I didn't need, in addition to online shopping yesterday and today. And the sick thing is, it's all because I'm feeling so damn lonely and empty without the L-D guy, which I'm in major denial about.

None of the stuff I bought will fill me up and make me feel less lonely and empty. But I don't know how to feel those things without the insurmountable fear that they'll completely overwhelm me. I wasn't taught how to handle this shit, aside from spending money on material things. My mom was always big on material rewards, but she didn't know how to teach me to deal with difficult emotions because she didn't know herself.

I feel so empty without him. Which sounds stupid to me because things are still new with us. And the feelings of stupidity are a large part of the reason I'm in denial. But it's been long years, and I do mean long years, that I've been without someone who I feel I could trust with my heart. I feel that way about him. It's becoming more than just casual dating for me. Which is why I feel so empty without him and want to see him every day. ...And why I can't seem to stop spending money on shit I don't need. Thanks, mom.

[freckleface7]

[quote name='lilacwine13' date='Dec 1 2008, 01:47 PM' post='226447']
I am procrastinating on finding someone to help with my anxiety.
lilac, this line worries me.
please don't put it off.
pm me if you want.
((((((lilac))))))))

zoya, whatever it means, I hope you enjoy every second of it.

ap: I don't know what you meant, but you're aces to me !

[zoya]

I am fucking the alien. I am so fucking stoked.

I think the only person who might have any idea what I'm talking about is Bunny. Maybe Sybarite.

but yes, I am fucking the alien. my dreams have come true.

I'm such a geek.

[auralpoison]

I am a jerkface. I do not know why/how good things keep coming to me, because I am a jerkface. TOTAL jerkface. And everybody knows it. I don't hide it. I am a jerkface.

And for a skinny, dorky white boy, he's a damned fine kisser. Just enough pressure, just enough spit. And I like the way he bites my lower lip just before we part.

[stargazer]

(((syb)))


(((cocl)))

[lilacwine13]

I am procrastinating on finding someone to help with my anxiety.

I am procrastinating on finding people I know on facebook because I am that lazy.

I am content with having a few days where nothing gets done, but at the same time I feel guilty for having that luxury.

[konphusion26]

Confession: I have butterflies in my stomach thinking about him.

Confession: I should have taken his damn invitation to hang out.

Confession: I keep checking my text messages, and messenger, and emails wondering if he's at least thinking of me too.

I'm a horrible, horrible person. did i mention HORRIBLE?!

[crazyoldcatlady]

confession: i am jeeeeealous of my friend in a variety of ways.

confession: after spending all day saturday detoxing (working out, spa-time with specifically designed detxoing massage), i promptly went out saturday night and drank and smoked and ate shitty food...

confession: ... a trend that has continued today, with polishing off a small loaf of banana bread single handedly...

confession: ... and has made me rethink my shitty, poorly designed vegetarian 15-year lifestyle, and how i've probably been screwing myself, and should eat it again...

confession: ...but meat is so. gross. to me. and i'd probably puke.

confession: i don't like looking at people around me because they look back. seriously. like, stop staring, people.

confession: the Youngin' and i failed at being platonic friends the last time i saw him.

[lilacwine13]

I am tempted to run away myself to somewhere, but I told myself I'd take care of a few things before I do any major traveling. I know I would end up a wreck before the first week was over if I did anything like that.

Confession: I went overboard and spent way too much today on records, CDs, books and a record player. I now have to transfer money from my savings to cover my bills.

[sybarite]

I am so able to leave. I have done it so many times before: find a flat, pay deposit, bob's your uncle.

You look for top floor, power points, sources of noise, heating, gas vs electric, etc. I have moved at least 42 times in my life: I can do it tomorrow.

[geekchickknits]

Right at this very moment, all I want to do is run away to Africa to be with a man who touches my heart deeply, but with whom, in reality, I can have no more than a long distance friendship.

[culturehandy]

Confession: I got a blackberry. Eeeeeek. It's not the traditional blackberry, but a blackberry pearl.

Even bigger confession: I used to hate crackberry's. Now I love mine.

Sigh.

[freckleface7]

I got the pendant & a lovely gold chain (the one that came w/ it was too fine) to go w/ it.
each piece was $250 & $240 normally, but we got them both for $157** including tax.
it's just the right size (slightly smaller than a blue jean button) & I love it muchly !
we also went out to lunch & talked about the stress we've been under lately & laughed about it, driving home listening & singing & car dancing along to the Pogues at the top of our lungs, so all is well & happy in the House of Freckle once more.
thank you busties for lettin' me whine- again!

kittenb- me too! I even have short hair now & I Still feel that way- it's just too much damn work to bother to blowdry & style my hair fresh more often than every 2-3 days.

confession: I am 1/2 through the 2nd pumpkin pie already.

[kittenb]

{{{freckle}}} that sucks. I hope he gave you the pendant.

Confession - I don't like to wash my hair and will often put it off way too long. For my hair that can mean three or four days. It is more the after-wash care that annoys me. I don't like drying and styling my hair. If I had enough confidence in my face, I would just get a supershort haircut.