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> Frustrated Singles
Muffy
post Jan 16 2008, 01:29 PM
Post #321


Hardcore BUSTie
***
Posts: 217
From: Rhode Island


anna k, I'm 31 and single and have never had a relationship last more than 8 months. I kind of know how you feel. I don't actually find couples in love disgusting or annoying. I kind of wish I had the same thing... I have at various points none of them lasted that long which makes me wonder what the hell is wrong with me.


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candycane_girl
post Jan 16 2008, 12:42 AM
Post #322


Hardcore BUSTie
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Posts: 2,336
From: Canada


I went to a party tonight. I thought it would be really fun and it kind of was but I also ended up feeling really lonely. I didn't know most of the people and I'm not very good at just going up to people and talking to them. There were a bunch of cute guys there but most of them were taken (of course!). I know that's a lame reason to feel down but it just made me feel like all of the decent looking guys are already taken.
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samiam
post Jan 15 2008, 08:12 PM
Post #323


BUSTie
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Posts: 91
From: San Francisco


Thanks for all the replies.

The guy who I was thinking about left Saturday night before making me a "special" birthday dinner, and took the fixings with him. I got a series of obnoxious passive-aggressive text messages from him yesterday, and I slept with the lover who I had been putting off for weeks while trying to decide if I could live with the one-guy relationship dinner-making guy was insisting on. Fuck it.
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candycane_girl
post Jan 15 2008, 09:46 AM
Post #324


Hardcore BUSTie
***
Posts: 2,336
From: Canada


toasty, I completely agree about them having to prove something! I mean it's like "Look at us! We're sooooo in love!" It's kind of creepy and pathetic. I'm all for holding hands and the occasional kiss but if I have a boyfriend I'm not going to be groping him on a park bench in front of strangers.
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toastybean
post Jan 15 2008, 01:30 AM
Post #325


Hardcore BUSTie
***
Posts: 103
From: the ham


QUOTE(anna k @ Jan 14 2008, 07:19 PM) *
I hated that whenever I was around couples who were sitting in each other's laps, half-listening to me with this ridiculous look on their face, being wrapped up in themselves. I may be jealous because I never had that, but it was still annoying to see.


... I also don't really get initially attracted to many guys, usually it's either being into some guy who intimidates me or not feeling attracted enough to someone.



i totally agree with the lap-sitting constant cuddling thing. i think i just hate that they feel this need to constantly be touching. i find it disgusting. i feel like couples who do this are acting like they have something to prove to other people about their relationsihp...it just seems a bit needy to me. oh and another disgusting tidbit...my roomie just started dating some guy who lives on the east coast (we are from WA state) and all she does now is talk to him...regardless of who is there. she will sit in our living room talking to him on the phone, messaging him on aim, as well as watching him on a fucking live webcam ALL AT THE SAME TIME! ugh. i hate being the only single person in my social circle.

and about the second part...
i do that same thing. Guys that most girls find attractive (the stereotypically hot ones) i just dont like. i tend to fall for guys who are a little different or qwirky and A. will not talk to me in the first place, or B. not talk to me after i hook up with him. And when, on the rare occasion, that there is a guy who is into me, i will always find a plethora of things that i dont like about him. and so is my life.
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anna k
post Jan 14 2008, 09:02 PM
Post #326


Hardcore BUSTie
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Posts: 1,687
From: NYC


QUOTE
And perhaps even worse with the semi-new couples - how they always sneak away to kiss every ten minutes, and have this
hazy, absent-minded "we'd rather be home & having sex right now" look on their face whenever they're out together.
It's rather frustrating, yes


I hated that whenever I was around couples who were sitting in each other's laps, half-listening to me with this ridiculous look on their face, being wrapped up in themselves. I may be jealous because I never had that, but it was still annoying to see.

Sometimes I feel like a freak because I am single. I'm 24 and have never had a boyfriend. I get scared of having sex with people who I don't know, even if I feel attracted immediately, because I don't trust having sex with just anyone. This keeps me inhibited. I also don't really get initially attracted to many guys, usually it's either being into some guy who intimidates me or not feeling attracted enough to someone. I've dated and never had a real physical attraction to someone. The last time I dated was in early 2007, and felt too busy with other things to date, then gained some weight and felt unattractive, and have been losing some weight now and feeling better. I always wanted to be like other girls, who felt comfortable making out and having sex with various guys, or having one boyfriend after the other. I just felt like a loser, like I wasn't social enough or comfortable enough. I want to express myself sexually, but want to get over my fears and be more open.
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coela
post Jan 14 2008, 08:48 PM
Post #327


Hardcore BUSTie
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Posts: 248
From: North of no south




QUOTE(moonstar @ Jan 14 2008, 10:35 PM) *
i know what ya mean coela. not only was my new yrs with nothing but couples, but welcome to evry weekend of my life!!!!!!
*sigh*
i am tired of being the only single, uninvolved one out of every single one of my friends. its sooooo depressing. and to top it off, my friends r not just in semi important relationships. no! theyre all married, engaged, married with kids, moving in together, yah da yah da yah da!!!


I hear you, moonstar. Like every weekend of my life as well. :/ I really have no one left to go out with, as in go out to have drinks,
flirt a little perhaps, maybe meet some new people. My friends all want to have cozy dinners and wine at home, which is nice a lot
of the time, but perhaps not every weekend. I feel left out, not because they snuggle all the time, but the whole cocooning thing,
the "early nights", how they fill in each others sentences and laugh at the same jokes they've had together for 8 years.

And perhaps even worse with the semi-new couples - how they always sneak away to kiss every ten minutes, and have this
hazy, absent-minded "we'd rather be home & having sex right now" look on their face whenever they're out together.
It's rather frustrating, yes.


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moonstar
post Jan 14 2008, 03:18 PM
Post #328


Newbie
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i know what ya mean coela. not only was my new yrs with nothing but couples, but welcome to evry weekend of my life!!!!!!
*sigh*
i am tired of being the only single, uninvolved one out of every single one of my friends. its sooooo depressing. and to top it off, my friends r not just in semi important relationships. no! theyre all married, engaged, married with kids, moving in together, yah da yah da yah da!!!
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opheliathemuse
post Jan 14 2008, 01:24 AM
Post #329


Hardcore BUSTie
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Posts: 472
From: Somewhere over the rainbow beyond the sea


erin, I am so glad you said that. I can tell almost as soon as I look at them. I know that sounds...superficial? But it's not about looks. It's like CanCan says, it's just the chemistry I have with the other person. What follows is whether or not we get along personally, intellectually, etc. You know? Takes me longer than an hour to figure that one out because some people fake it better than others. I suppose that is why I like looking people in the eye. See what's in there.


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There is a willow grows aslant a brook,
That shows his hoar leaves in the glassy stream.
There with fantastic garlands did she come...
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CanCan
post Jan 13 2008, 10:33 PM
Post #330


Hardcore BUSTie
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Posts: 133


QUOTE(erinjane @ Jan 13 2008, 01:47 PM) *
When I meet someone I like I just know I like them. I can usually tell within the first hour of talking to someone if there's any spark but I know a lot of people don't know that quickly or with as much certainty.

Hi, I am on another Bust forum, but I just have to post something here because I was just reading an article I read in a magazine today, and it was so interesting that I just emailed it to my girlfriends, and I was thinking everyone here would find it interesting too. I don't know how much of it is true, but it seems like it certainly could be true, it's an article in Psychology Today magazine. This February issue. There is an article in it about chemistry and phermones- and talked about in a way I've never heard before. Also talks about how the birth control pill effects phermones. I wanted to email it to someone, and was able to find it online which is cool.

http://psychologytoday.com/articles/pto-20071228-000001.html
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erinjane
post Jan 13 2008, 12:30 PM
Post #331


Hardcore BUSTie
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Posts: 1,301
From: Winnipeg


When I meet someone I like I just know I like them. I can usually tell within the first hour of talking to someone if there's any spark but I know a lot of people don't know that quickly or with as much certainty.


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samiam
post Jan 13 2008, 12:22 PM
Post #332


BUSTie
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Posts: 91
From: San Francisco


What do you all think about the theory that when you meet the right person, you will "just know"? Is that true? What if I am totally freaked out by someone who is really great in theory, and offering me the world? What if I "just know" that something is not right, and I can't put my finger in it? Am I doing my typical fight-or-flight or is there some credence to "just knowing"?
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BustiRubi
post Jan 12 2008, 02:46 AM
Post #333


BUSTie
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Posts: 53
From: Santa Cruz, CA


hung out with M the other night (only friends at this point)
he waited with me at the bus station
there was a couple next us cuddling and making out
UUGGHH

wub.gif
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coela
post Jan 7 2008, 06:31 AM
Post #334


Hardcore BUSTie
***
Posts: 248
From: North of no south



My new year's eve was ok, although I spent it with two couples. *le sigh*
Not to sound like a desperate single girl, but sometimes couples can be.. well, pretty couply.

No dates on my horizon. I'm going out photographing soon with a guy I met on Flickr (of all places)
but he has a girlfriend, so it's not a romantic thing. But cool to make new friends, too.

Got a nice compliment from a guy I know somewhat, he said I look "incredibly attractive",
which was nice to hear, and he said he'd ask me out, but he just moved 600 miles away, so..

God, can people please not live 600 miles away and not have kids with another woman
and not work 24/7 and not want me only as their MISTRESS (my latest "offer"???), K THNX BYE.




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erinjane
post Jan 2 2008, 10:44 PM
Post #335


Hardcore BUSTie
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Posts: 1,301
From: Winnipeg


How was everyone's new years? Mine was pretty good, low key, and no guys who caught my eye but I had fun with my friend.

I've been trying to have just casual relationships lately, but the guy from a few weeks ago was getting overly into me and wanting something more, so i had to break things off. Last week I called up a guy I casually slept with over the summer and we hooked up twice last week. I thought it was just some fun, but he's trying to get me to go to his work holiday party in a few weeks, and he sent me an email today that was very sweet but has now got me feeling stressed. He was talking about how he was thinkin about me all new years eve and day. He's not really my type for relationships though, plus, he's 39 and I'm 22 and at totally different life stages. We're supposed to hang out tomorrow and I think I'll have to make it the last time. I guess I should be flattered that all these guys want me for a real relationship.

My brother was laughing about joining plentyoffish.com and so I joined him too and told him I could get more guys after me than he could girls. tongue.gif For the first time ever in all the years i've casually joined those sites, a guy messaged me who totally is my type. After I saw his picture I even realized that i've checked him out at local shows before. Anyways, I'm feeling sort of excited now...this is the first single guy I've met in a looooooooong time (like, a year and a half) that I'm actually excited about.

Fingers crossed!


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snow white
post Dec 29 2007, 08:11 PM
Post #336


Hardcore BUSTie
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Posts: 345
From: upstate new york


candy, i've put myself on a three drink probation for new years. i'm sick and tired of feeling like a jerk after a night out. sorry to here about your ex, coela. i for one can't wait for a "fresh" start in 2008 (plus it's all even numbers which are all very lucky, anyway, here's to hoping new years doesn't suck!) ~


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I'm not loaded, I'm just tired of being nice
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candycane_girl
post Dec 29 2007, 01:03 AM
Post #337


Hardcore BUSTie
***
Posts: 2,336
From: Canada


ugh, I'm not even going out for New Year's this year. Downtown ends up being such a mess, I end up drinking too much, it's impossible to get a cab and I usually end up doing something highly embarrassing. So this year I'm just getting drunk at home. At least that way I can't end up losing my purse (two years ago) or having an awful drunken hookup with a loser (last year).
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coela
post Dec 28 2007, 08:00 PM
Post #338


Hardcore BUSTie
***
Posts: 248
From: North of no south



I'm pretty confident I won't meet anyone great on new year's eve. In fact, if the night turns out to not entirely suck,
that's enough for me.

Had the biggest fight with my ex. He's so fucking irresponsible I just want to strangle him. Had me crying like mad
for two days. Long pointless story, in short: we made plans for new year months ago, and yesterday he suddenly
can't (or rather won't) come. Which is absolutely typical for him, and why would I trust him in the first place, etc etc.
He then uttered one of his many genius conclusions: "But if you hate New Year so much, then it can't be that big of a deal".
WELL WHY COULD IT BE THAT I HATE NEW YEAR? Perhaps there's a reason? Like: I hate being stood up/ feeling alone/
being invited last/ going to dinner with couples who play footsie under the table. Everyone else has smashing outfits
and I feel fat. At midnight all the couples kiss. I walk home crying every goddamn time - either because I always end up talking
to some bloody idiot, or I get punched in the stomach (2000), or I sprain my foot (2 years ago) or I get locked out of my apartment
(1 year ago) and have to call the locksmith, or some other minor disaster. Haven't been broken up with on new year yet,
but I'm certain it's going to happen some day.

Still miss the PR guy like mad after 1 month. No, not like mad anymore, but still miss him. Well he did say we'll get in touch
after the holidays, but GODDAMN IT, if I'm not cute enough or whatever, don't leave me hanging like this.

Don't let me down gently

And don't I have anything better to do? Why yes, Christmas was nice, thanks. And I've bought a flashy pedometer.


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snow white
post Dec 27 2007, 01:34 PM
Post #339


Hardcore BUSTie
***
Posts: 345
From: upstate new york


i hope i meet someone awesome on new years eve, i hope i meet someone great on new years eve, i hope i meet someone perfect on new years eve

like who doesn't think this before going out???

but really, i hope i do biggrin.gif



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erinjane
post Dec 25 2007, 09:46 PM
Post #340


Hardcore BUSTie
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Posts: 1,301
From: Winnipeg


Sassy, that just happened to me. I thought I found a nice guy to casually date, and I told him that I wanted to casually date and he knew that. Next thing I know I'm getting text messages at 3AM and he's telling me how much he misses me and how he hasn't opened up to someone like this in ages. Yikes. I had to break it off a couple of weeks and felt nothing but relief after.


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